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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? (1091 Views)
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Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Mindlog: 9:03pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Hezzyluv: The Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA) is managed by Lagos state government. That allegation of sexual abuse by the maternal uncle has to be reported to the agency and they would know how to get him. If she has younger female siblings they are more likely to be vulnerable to his sexual abuse, if he has not started already. If it is established that he is a perpetrator, he would be taken out of circulation. Below is the contact address of DSVA. Novel House, Central Business District, Alausa Ikeja, Lagos, 08000333333 info@lagosdsva.org 1 Like |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 9:04pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:So what if she denies it? So long as he heard it from the supposed victims mouth, OP'S duty is to inform the authorities of the potential crime and then allow them investigate. So long as OP has done his part, that is that. OP don't need to turn investigator or rape counselor when he is just a person who heard a story of a potential crime. If it turns out the girl lied or she denies any such happened, that one no be OP headache. He heard of and reported a crime. Case closed! |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by fyzaila: 9:13pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
henrimoto: Can he go and confront the uncle? He should follow a panel that won't cause him his own family |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 9:42pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:You no Sabi book o, I say make op no report give any authority. The girl might lie to protect her family's image. E don happen before. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 9:43pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:No no read my response at all? Kobojunkie: |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kemadealadire(f): 9:51pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Since she has a phone that can do WhatsApp, is there no way to gather evidence |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by henrimoto(m): 9:53pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:.... And also direct her to NGOs and Government Agencies for Gender based Violence and Abuse issues |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by henrimoto(m): 9:55pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
fyzaila:... Going to confront the said uncle is not the way to help girl. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by henrimoto(m): 9:57pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Mindlog:@hezzyluv.... Copy this information. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 9:59pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:If the girl denies op, he is in deep shit. He loses respect from the girls mother, he becomes uncle's enemy, he becomes enemy with the girl. Best he should do is talk to the girl and strengthen her all he can. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by henrimoto(m): 10:01pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Hezzyluv:check if it's the uncle that caters for them, na the uncle get the house wey them dey stay? |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Karleb(m): 10:04pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
This is not your fight. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 10:06pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:There is absolutely no truth to that claim. If the girl denies the claim, then regardless of the reaction from the girl or her family after all, OP can rest easy knowing he did what was right in the girl's case and can wash his hands off that family if he needs to. You don't because of want for attention and respect from others turn a blind eye to what is a crime. That is wickedness and one of the major reasons why Nigeria is the cesspool it is today. The girl has opened up to him and what he needs do next is make sure that issue is reported to the authorities who can then do follow up investigation to find out fact from fiction. Op is not a mental health therapist nor a rape counselor to "strengthen" her as you suggest. It is not his job. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 10:10pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Sounds like we are both trying to find a way for op but from different angles.. I still maintain my idea is the best. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 10:14pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:This is 2023. The old approach to dealing with crimes in our homes has woeful failed Nigerians. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 10:16pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Was there ever an approach to deal with domestic crimes? |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 10:18pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:Yes, it was either "mind your own business" or "let the family/elders settle it". Both turned out disastrous decisions for all.. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 10:27pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:And what is the new workable approach? |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Mindlog: 10:27pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant: OP's obligation is to refer her allegation to relevant government agency (details I have earlier posted). If the young person recants the allegation before the officials of the agency who are better skilled to handle such as they are always aware relatives and perpetrators instill fear into victims, making them to recant then the OP losing the respect girl's mother will not affect him losing the capacity to take care of his own family as he can comfortably wash his hand off them. OP is not trained on trauma-informed approach in working with a young person who is alleging sexual abuse, people are specially trained for that. 1 Like |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 10:33pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:It shouldn't be "mind your own business!", or "let the family/elders settle it." Best option is to report to the authorities and allow them do their job. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 10:33pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Mindlog:Not what you wrote interest me but how you wrote interest me.. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Exmilitant(m): 10:37pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Well, that is your opinion on this dicey situation. Unless the girl is willing and determined to stop the nonsense, there is no other approach save my method. Mind you a 17 year old girl is not a child. |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by frozen70(f): 10:45pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Hezzyluv: Honestly, you may be taking risk fraternizing with this family First her mum is comfortable asking you if her daughter is with you and you said yes, so that means you can be with her and she is ok with that Secondly they have a wicked uncle who sees you as a threat and yet you have not done anything to warrant that but his instinct has told him that you are a potential rival to him Do you have the strength to struggle with this man over that family, think about it especially on that girl Third one, the mum is already helpess and can't confront her brother if the girl should complain My question now is, will you be able to fight for this girl to get justice, if yes are you really sure what that you can do that from start to finish Lastly, you said that you don't have anything to do or doing with that girl, well the mind is shapper than you think, when that feelings will develop be ready to father a child Left for me, start withdrawing from them, unless you don't mind what will be the out come and you are ready to face it Just face your business that's what you came to that area to do 1 Like |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by Kobojunkie: 10:46pm On Aug 17, 2023 |
Exmilitant:By reporting to the authorities, OP can help make sure no such ever happens again to that same girl. She is 17, not a full blown adult who has a complete understanding of actions and consequences. 1 Like |
Re: What do I tell this teenage girl to do about her ordeal? by MrsTwrite(f): 7:05am On Aug 18, 2023 |
Police or soldiers straight up. That huncle must be very stupid! |
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