I've always maintained that it's better to end a ten year relationship when things aren't going well, than to end up in a two year marriage that will lead to divorce.

Many ladies in their quest to get married, end up making a life time mistake just to please society. Some think they're in love, some are in it because the other spouse was recommended by God through an MOG, parents, friend, relatives....Some are just there because they feel like they've been in the relationship too long to end up unmarried.

Isn't it better to stop the tragedy before it's too late? Please share your thoughts and experiences, if any

Some people do not go into marriage thinking that it will failed so therefore why would they waste their time trying to save something that is not broken

If the relationship failed....marriage wouldn't occur.

Failure is inevitable in all spheres of life,IF you fail to plan.So,plan your future wella.don't rush into things.Also,failed relationships is as bad as failed marriage.i mean,isn't it thru a relationship that you get married?So,if you fail in your relationships,you will fail in your marriage.It is not like you can fail in a relationship and succeed in a marriage.It does not work

It's the lecturer-student relationship that's getting disturbing, if you know the average age of a Nigerian lecturer to that of the student, going byu the fact that these people don't want to retire, you'll be a bit nauseated at the rate these marriages take place, it's almost like child abuse

binger: Failure is inevitable in all spheres of life,IF you fail to plan.So,plan your future wella.don't rush into things.Also,failed relationships is as bad as failed marriage.i mean,isn't it thru a relationship that you get married?So,if you fail in your relationships,you will fail in your marriage.It is not like you can fail in a relationship and succeed in a marriage.It does not work

There always will be the pushers....that relationship where the man is a chronic philanderer, or he's a beater, and every time he hurts the woman, he's back with apologies and gifts, and she takes him back, that, in my books is more or less, a failed relationship, but these women think they can change the man, failing to realize that he's not a Washing machine with a warranty . I don't think people realize that they're in failed relationships to start with

190-the-clown:
the rates at which the girls in my secondary school ar marrying these days ehen

makes me wonder!wah the boys are actually doin,

some jst meet a dude and in 2weeks are marrying em..

Nija na so e come bad reach

Because they can enjoy all the earthly pleasures in marriage. They will act like single girls and slam any guy that takes their fancy. Their husband will bear the brunt of their indiscretions .

safarigirl: It's the lecturer-student relationship that's getting disturbing, if you know the average age of a Nigerian lecturer to that of the student, going byu the fact that these people don't want to retire, you'll be a bit nauseated at the rate these marriages take place, it's almost like child abuse

Give me an age ratio please? It sounds somewhat sickening but I do not believe lecturers alone indulge in that sort of nastiness. What about politicians, business men?

The problem with failed relationship and marriage are the women, alot of them don't really
know what they want in a man. Relationship is not sex and the outward appearance of the person
but the strength to hold on when the going gets tough.
I really think people should learn to define between love and lust.

Marriage is for better or for worse. So, once you get into marriage with even the devil, there's no way out. You have to remain in the marriage until one party dies. That's why it's good to investigate thoroughly the kind of person that you're getting married to.

safarigirl: I've always maintained that it's better to end a ten year relationship when things aren't going well, than to end up in a two year marriage that will lead to divorce.

Many ladies in their quest to get married, end up making a life time mistake just to please society. Some think they're in love, some are in it because the other spouse was recommended by God through an MOG, parents, friend, relatives....Some are just there because they feel like they've been in the relationship too long to end up unmarried.

Isn't it better to stop the tragedy before it's too late? Please share your thoughts and experiences, if any

who frustrated you ?

afam4eva: Marriage is for better or for worse. So, once you get into marriage with even the devil, there's no way out. You have to remain in the marriage until one party dies. That's why it's good to investigate thoroughly the kind of person that you're getting married to.

I beg to differ with that term, have to? Even the bible permits divorce in some cases. I personally feel that whether you stay in a bad marriage or not is up to the person in question.

Let it be known, that when we use the term "dies", we don't just mean physical death, some people die psychologically and emotionally due to the burden of a failed marriage, that is enough to leave the marriage before you actually die physically

It is wise to have a broken relationship than to have a broken marriage.Ladies are desperate to tie their long awaited relationship to settle down with them employing means,without considering the compatibility aspect of it.

Nothing is risk free, marriage is not exempted.

safarigirl: I beg to differ with that term, have to? Even the bible permits divorce in some cases. I personally feel that whether you stay in a bad marriage or not is up to the person in question.

Let it be known, that when we use the term "dies", we don't just mean physical death, some people die psychologically and emotionally due to the burden of a failed marriage, that is enough to leave the marriage before you actually die physically

The bible only permits a divorce in the case of Infidelity. Apart from that, couples have no business divorcing. Btw, bible didn't say anything about dying psychological or spiritually. It's the physical death that was been referred to. Chei, you people will always find a way to twist the bible to soothe your personal agenda.

free2ryhme:


who frustrated you ?

Hahahaha,abeg o, I'm not in a relationship, and never been in a real one, I'm just an on-looker for now. I'm just asking for all those sistahs and bruthas who are at cross-roads.

Atheist:-D:


Give me an age ratio please? It sounds somewhat sickening but I do not believe lecturers alone indulge in that sort of nastiness. What about politicians, business men?

It's mostly lecturers who are in their late forties to earlyu fifties with students in their early twenties, like [i]really[/i]early twenties

afam4eva: Marriage is for better or for worse.

I agree.

afam4eva: So, once you get into marriage with even the devil, there's no way out.

Totally disagree. Even if it's supposed to be for better for worse, if you get into a marriage with someone who will kill you before your time, there's a way out - it's known as divorce.
There's that much pain and humiliation a human being can take. If you cannot bear it any longer, there's a way out - it's known as divorce.
If you're one of those religious folks who believe that the Bible doesn't allow people to remarry, then the least one can do when faced with an unbearable marriage is to separate. A miserable marriage is slow death. You don't wish it even on your worst enemy.

afam4eva: It's good to investigate thoroughly the kind of person that you're getting married to.

I agree.

@ topic, a broken relationship and a broken marriage both have the same implications on a person. In as much as the former involves boy/girl and the other husband/wife, it doesn't change the fact that the involved parties in both cases will go through the same type of emotions when it ends.

afam4eva: Marriage is for better or for worse. So, once you get into marriage with even the devil, there's no way out. You have to remain in the marriage until one party dies. That's why it's good to investigate thoroughly the kind of person that you're getting married to.

NO SIR, don't create 'Horror Film' here because the young minds here might take your free advise for REAL and I tell you there is nothing REAL in your advise, even if our LORD JESUS CHRIST is to be around physically in our present world now, HE wouldn't have offered that type of advise!!!

Don't get me wrong,I strongly believe that marriage is for better or for worse, but when your continued stay in that 'union' might lead you to do the unexpected,what is the point staying in there, different strokes for different folks, people in our age marry for so many wrong reasons based on the unnecessary pressures they are subjected to from Parents,peer groups, families, societies and cultures. Don't forget this world lives on pretense - Just my penny worth!

I prefer the former to the latter!

both r painful. Wen a relatnshp isn't working its gud 2 work on it bt if tinz dnt improve den it wld b wise 2 leave.

190-the-clown:
the rates at which the girls in my secondary school ar marrying these days ehen

makes me wonder!wah the boys are actually doin,

some jst meet a dude and in 2weeks are marrying em..

Nija na so e come bad reach

marriage is not about secondary school or university/graduate

and it doesnt have anything to do with naija or abroad

you can marry a 20yr old that know more about life and marriage than a 40yr old just want to get married because its fashion

Why must u anticipate failure?

Failure of courtship is failure of marriage.

binger: Failure is inevitable in all spheres of life,IF you fail to plan.So,plan your future wella.don't rush into things.Also,failed relationships is as bad as failed marriage.i mean,isn't it thru a relationship that you get married?So,if you fail in your relationships,you will fail in your marriage.It is not like you can fail in a relationship and succeed in a marriage.It does not work

So..why do some ladies rain hell and brimstone on a guy who breaks a 3-yr old relationship?

Is it not better to break it before getting married..for whatever reason?

tomakint:

NO SIR, don't create 'Horror Film' here because the young minds here might take your free advise for REAL and I tell you there is nothing REAL in your advise, even if our LORD JESUS CHRIST is to be around physically in our present world now, HE wouldn't have offered that type of advise!!!

Don't get me wrong,I strongly believe that marriage is for better or for worse, but when your continued stay in that 'union' might lead you to do the unexpected,what is the point staying in there, different strokes for different folks, people in our age marry for so many wrong reasons based on the unnecessary pressures they are subjected to from Parents,peer groups, families, societies and cultures. Don't forget this world lives on pretense - Just my penny worth!

I detect blasphemy in your post. Ask for forgiveness before Angels browse through nairaland.

Why would one date for ten years if it's not going well?

But I agree with you that it's better to end a bad relationship than to enter an unhealthy relationship

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2012/10/why-are-nigerian-marriages-so-bad.html

safarigirl: I've always maintained that it's better to end a ten year relationship when things aren't going well, than to end up in a two year marriage that will lead to divorce.

Many ladies in their quest to get married, end up making a life time mistake just to please society. Some think they're in love, some are in it because the other spouse was recommended by God through an MOG, parents, friend, relatives....Some are just there because they feel like they've been in the relationship too long to end up unmarried.

Isn't it better to stop the tragedy before it's too late? Please share your thoughts and experiences, if any

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU.
I WILL NEVER DIVORCE MY WIFE, BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD ALL THE FIGHTS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP TO TRASH OUT AND PERISH ALL THE RUBBISH WE DON'T NEED.

safarigirl: I've always maintained that it's better to end a ten year relationship when things aren't going well, than to end up in a two year marriage that will lead to divorce.

Many ladies in their quest to get married, end up making a life time mistake just to please society. Some think they're in love, some are in it because the other spouse was recommended by God through an MOG, parents, friend, relatives....Some are just there because they feel like they've been in the relationship too long to end up unmarried.

Isn't it better to stop the tragedy before it's too late? Please share your thoughts and experiences, if any

No need to wait 10 years. We always ignore tell tell signs because 'love' tells us 'he's gonna change for the better.'
split before you reach menopause.

CastleandGreen: The problem with failed relationship and marriage are the women, alot of them don't really
know what they want in a man. Relationship is not sex and the outward appearance of the person
but the strength to hold on when the going gets tough.
I really think people should learn to define between love and lust.

@ the bolded part, seriously?

Who unleashed the Internet on you? They did you no favours.

r231:

marriage is not about secondary school or university/graduate

and it doesnt have anything to do with naija or abroad

you can marry a 20yr old that know more about life and marriage than a 40yr old just want to get married because its fashion

40 yr old getting wed cos its fashionable lol that boat sailed ages ago.