It has come to my notice that more and more MEn are beginning to neglect their Responsibilities and pushing it to their wives. Every morning, whilst I do my road-walk, I keep seeing this thirty-something year old woman packaging her 4 kids to schl as early as five am in a bid to avoid the traffic, the husband sleeps at home all day, doing nothing. He keeps spinning yarn that he is a contractor bla, bla, bla, yet for the past five years he hasn't done any job. His wife pays the bills, house rent, school fees, car maintenance and purchase, clothings and all. How do u expect such a woman to retain the respect for her man? A man is respected and adored for his ability to be the breadwinner, to be the protector, the head while the wife supports. Woman are wired to nurture, not to manufacture. Your wife becomes the breadwinner and u are surprised when she starts acting like a man? What are ur constructive opinions on this pressing issue...

NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT PROBABLY THIS ONE IS JUST TOO LAZY

bibigirl07: It has come to my notice that more and more MEn are beginning to neglect their Responsibilities and pushing it to their wives. Every morning, whilst I do my road-walk, I keep seeing this thirty-something year old woman packaging her 4 kids to schl as early as five am in a bid to avoid the traffic, the husband sleeps at home all day, doing nothing. He keeps spinning yarn that he is a contractor bla, bla, bla, yet for the past five years he hasn't done any job. His wife pays the bills, house rent, school fees, car maintenance and purchase, clothings and all. How do u expect such a woman to retain the respect for her man? A man is respected and adored for his ability to be the breadwinner, to be the protector, the head while the wife supports. Woman are wired to nurture, not to manufacture. Your wife becomes the breadwinner and u are surprised when she starts acting like a man? What are ur constructive opinions on this pressing issue...

sorry oh but the woman complain give you?

You be wizard/witch?how did you know all that much about this family (the man is a lazy contractor, the woman pays all bills) merely by bumping into the woman daily?

ifyalways: sorry oh but the woman complain give you?

You be wizard/witch?how did you know all that much about this family (the man is a lazy contractor, the woman pays all bills) merely by bumping into the woman daily?

I was thinking the same. But Nigerian's mind your business more than you do. Even with the high walls and gates, you will be surprised what they say. And most of the tales are made up in their minds. I know a person that can make up tales about people by just seeing the person. Very wicked behavior imo.

Isnt it possible that the man works from home as a contractor and make the most of the money?

Even if he is jobless, isnt it possible that was their special agreement in "Their" house?

Yorubas say: "Dem dey fight for the other house, How e take concern you"

Pple talk in d neighbourhood and the lady has confided in her next-door neighbour who happens to be my stylist. Every one knows stylists are not necessarily pple u should confide in. They end up telling their other customers. These things are happening. The foolish man even descends so low as to keep youngsters in d neighbourhood as his pals, giving them jist of how he can never work for anyone and how his wife is capable and hard working. You dnt have to comment if u have nothing significant to say, pls.

@Bibigirl07 is so right u have lost of husbands like that and on top of all what the woman is doing some will even maltreat their wives. A very close friend of me is going thru the same and whenever she's in town we have our girls night out with other friends and u won't believe the stories u hear.

What is wrong with the girls of now a days? They are only interested in money, bloody slack kittied twats. What happened to for better or WORSE? Women should learn to carry the reponsibilities of the home finance wise. Afterall the witches here who sing the liberation songs claim men if anything are infirior beings.

Really madam? One woman u meet along the way taking her kids to school automatically translates to her husband being jobless and irresponsible. U came to this conclusion just by observing her daily, u must be a genius. I hope ur husband is not a contractor sha.

OP but women birthright is to be at home, Be full time housewives pop babies every 10months and never hold a job.

What has happened to that birthright? Simple the world has evolved dont let it leave you behind

Gone were those days when women arent allowed to work. Everyone now works and earn equally

@op, although am single but welcome to Nija , as it is...Its either most of men wander around town with their frnds /neighbours or strolls off.. Its so sickening, because the men doing such are even proud of themselves..no shame...what a pity ... and the wives cant see their children starve or landlord disgrace them, out of the house.. the wives have to work, and i mean double shifts work and doing runs by the side , just to make end meet..some married women do confide in me, due to frustration...i reject such lifestyle, amen.

victorian: @op, although am single but welcome to Nija , as it is...Its either most of men wander around town with their frnds /neighbours or strolls off.. Its so sickening, because the men doing such are even proud of themselves..no shame...what a pity ... and the wives cant see their children starve or landlord disgrace them, out of the house.. the wives have to work, and i mean double shifts work and doing runs by the side , just to make end meet..some married women do confide in me, due to frustration...i reject such lifestyle, amen.

I say a big AMEN to that prayer. Women can and should assist. But a situation whereby she's carrying all the responsibilities I feel that sis who mentioned, that the men stroll around, yea. They do, shamelessly. Claiming that a "big" job is coming their way soon. Yet, its all wash. I will never settle for such and no right thinking woman should. The man IS the Provider. The woman can only pitch in when need be. @dayoKanu, pray u r able to provide for your wife/home. Lest, u'l keep playing second fiddle to ur wife and your kids will not respect you for that. No wonder their so many Lonely, sad old men. The kids aint blind, they'l surely reward you.

bibigirl07:


I say a big AMEN to that prayer. Women can and should assist. But a situation whereby she's carrying all the responsibilities I feel that sis who mentioned, that the men stroll around, yea. They do, shamelessly. Claiming that a "big" job is coming their way soon. Yet, its all wash. I will never settle for such and no right thinking woman should. The man IS the Provider. The woman can only pitch in when need be. @dayoKanu, pray u r able to provide for your wife/home. Lest, u'l keep playing second fiddle to ur wife and your kids will not respect you for that. No wonder their so many Lonely, sad old men. The kids aint blind, they'l surely reward you.

Rather I pray I would never marry a woman who would base her love and respect on how much money I can pitch into it. What does playing second fiddle to my wife mean?

Is someone meant to play first fiddle in an equal relationship?

LMFAO!!

Ok. Listen. @dayokanu. Marriage is a union between a MAN and a WOMAN. The man has his own distinct responsibilities whilst the woman has hers too. For marriage to be termed "equal" each party has to perform his/her duties effectively. Of course, one can pitch in to assist the other whenever the need arises. No right thinking mAN would Take undue advantage of the woman because she's hardworking and resilient. Do you understand?

So Who shared these responsibilities, what is the mans responsibility and what is the womans responsibilities?

So would you say women who are housewifes too are taking advantage of a hardworking man?

Seems you want a marriage where someone is first fiddle, second fiddle, third fiddle and seventh fiddle. So what fiddle are you in your house?

And in the scenario you gave isnt it obvious that the woman was assisting her family to get by??

hilarious......

bibigirl07: It has come to my notice that more and more MEn are beginning to neglect their Responsibilities and pushing it to their wives. Every morning, whilst I do my road-walk, I keep seeing this thirty-something year old woman packaging her 4 kids to schl as early as five am in a bid to avoid the traffic, the husband sleeps at home all day, doing nothing. He keeps spinning yarn that he is a contractor bla, bla, bla, yet for the past five years he hasn't done any job. His wife pays the bills, house rent, school fees, car maintenance and purchase, clothings and all. How do u expect such a woman to retain the respect for her man? A man is respected and adored for his ability to be the breadwinner, to be the protector, the head while the wife supports. Woman are wired to nurture, not to manufacture. Your wife becomes the breadwinner and u are surprised when she starts acting like a man? What are ur constructive opinions on this pressing issue...

With this logic, let's flip the coin. Are you saying it is justified if a man loses respect for a woman and treats her like thrash when she can't fulfill her primary function of bearing children? A barren woman deserves no respect, right? Is this your opinion?

@OP......your thread is a reflection of who you are! As you have judged that family by what u see while taking your early morning walk-outs and mere rumors from the salon, then u wl be judged too. HERE IS MY JUDGEMENT of you too!!!!

1. You seem to be someone who is selfish and a bit tight fisted. You expect a man to produce every dime that u wl need while you keep ur own money to urself!

2. When ur man looses his job, its obvious after a month of switching roles, you will nag and disrespect ur man till he starts beating you or leaves the house for you!

3. You don't mind ur business! If the woman had told u her husband is a contractor, and u insist u never saw him get any contract in 5yrs, what job do u do really? For u to have time to monitor someone else "business" for all this while?

4. I believe you will only marry a "wealthy" man who will provide all ur needs and you don't lift ur finger to do anything....since HE IS THE MAN.

With all these said above.....Bibigirl05.....YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED.......I rise......Court!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well,I do not subscribe to a man not fulfilling his obligations @ home. Personally,I'll prefer to spend everything I earn on my family irrespective of how much my wife earns or not. I feel it's a man's job to provide for the home. However,if the man's out of job or something,then the woman can take up the responsibility till he's able again. However,ladies should know this: times are changing & the tide is turning against men. Women are getting better jobs & the most jobs now & as such,it's leaving a lot of men helpless financially. It means that the ladies need to step up now. I do not subscribe to/support a lazy man though. One more thing,I think women should learn to keep their issues @ home. If ur husband is mocked & called jobless,you've also been ridiculed.

dayokanu:
Rather I pray I would never marry a woman who would base her love and respect on how much money I can pitch into it. What does playing second fiddle to my wife mean?
Is someone meant to play first fiddle in an equal relationship?

In a marriage d husband has d final say, though its gud 2 listen 2 ur wife' say. So she is right, d man plays d 1st fiddle & there s nothing like equality in a marriage. A gud wife wil say i ve discuss wit my hubby,

i dnt subscibe 2 a woman doing everyting, & d man sits @ home doing nothing, If he is out f job & he can help wit d children skool runs & take dat off d woman.@op sometimes wat u hear r nt correct, so dnt judge wit it, d man can stil be d one fending 4 d family.There was a time, i wasnt working, & my wife salary was quite small, i was stil d one doing most things thru som means, i stayed @ home most times & people thought she was d one. So u never can tel, d wife shd desist 4rm running him down.

Ur various contributions here has shown that this issue is not an isolated one. I am not here to pontificate on who is right or wrong. I guess we all know why the "man" is referred to as the "Head" of the home, using our own African setting and culture as a case study. Barreness or inability to bear a child is not the sole responsibility of the woman. Besides, this thread is not discussing such issues so that guy who mentioned such should zip it. Yes, the Economy is getting more favourable for women, thus better jobs and pay for the womenfolk. A man cld be in the lurch and his wife rises to the occasion, but for how long Especially when He isn't making any moves to get something lucrative and worthwhile to do. As a graduate of Economics, I'm gainfully employed and currently doing my masters programme in Regional Economics. My hubby is Federal civil servant and we'r doing just fine. That's for you, Mr@dk. So my aim here isn't to talk down on men, rather to remind the slackers amongst them to wake and smell the coffee.

[quote author=Royal Roy]@OP......your thread is a reflection of who you are! As you have judged that family by what u see while taking your early morning walk-outs and mere rumors from the salon, then u wl be judged too. HERE IS MY JUDGEMENT of you too!!!!

1. You seem to be someone who is selfish and a bit tight fisted. You expect a man to produce every dime that u wl need while you keep ur own money to urself!

2. When ur man looses his job, its obvious after a month of switching roles, you will nag and disrespect ur man till he starts beating you or leaves the house for you!

3. You don't mind ur business! If the woman had told u her husband is a contractor, and u insist u never saw him get any contract in 5yrs, what job do u do really? For u to have time to monitor someone else "business" for all this while?

4. I believe you will only marry a "wealthy" man who will provide all ur needs and you don't lift ur finger to do anything....since HE IS THE MAN.

thanx

You are actually the Jobless one oh. Going around "noticing" your neighbor who has by the way never come to complain to you or seek advice, yet you not only follow them about looking for what to gossip about but go to gossip about them in the salon.
I am more worried about your own jobless state because you are actually giving the devil a fool time workshop with your idleness.
Stay out of peoples business, if she needs help she will asked Madam concerned Citizen

These post below might interest you

berem: I have been trying to ask this question over and over again.why do mothers get almost all the blame when a child displays very bad behaviour?

I know of a family friend whose 2 grown up kids are always involved in crime though one of them died as a result of cult activities few months ago.

Apart from taking care of the family financially, the man is seldom present to take care of his kids since when they were small.

He's always travelling due to the nature of his business. Their mum being a house wife has been taking care of the boys.

Now that one of them is dead, the husband and his relations are heaping the blame on the woman for not doing her responsibilities as a mother taking care of them.

Why should mothers be blamed?

A man who is taking sole care of the finances. So when the kids turn out bad who should be blamed?

dayokanu:
A man who is taking sole care of the finances. So when the kids turn out bad who should be blamed?

Surely Dayo, you can't be saying that because a man takes sole care of the finances that means he bears no other responsibility towards the raising of his kids. Come on now. Really, can he then really be called a father? Sounds more like a sperm donor and financial sponsor to me.

ileobatojo:

Surely Dayo, you can't be saying that because a man takes sole care of the finances that means he bears no other responsibility towards the raising of his kids. Come on now. Really, can he then really be called a father? Sounds more like a sperm donor and financial sponsor to me.

Is that not what the poster wants? If someone is responsible for 100% of the finances dont you know how many hours he would need to work to make ends meet.

Let me put you in the place of such father. When he was single he was fending for himself alone, later wife joined making 2, kids joined making 5-6 mouths Definitely he has to work 3 times as hard if he has no support from the wife.

How would a man who work round the clock all day because his wife wants to sit at home doing nothing be there to be a father to his kids. When he is rarely around to even know the kids so that his wife would call him a REAL MAN.

A woman who wants to live that way cant eat her cake and have it . Its either both share finances and child rearing and both get the glory and the blame equally on how both turn out OR she gets the sole blame when the child rearing is found wanting

Mr @dayo whatever. Its so obvious ur understanding of the English language is limited. No one mentioned working around the clock. I'm not refering to the hardworking and caring husbands out there. U sure seem so agitated on this issue? Are u not man enough to take care of ur home? Are u out of work? Thus ur apparent grabbing at straws in a bid to make no sense at all? The other contributor that called me jobless, well can't be bothered about u. Its also clear that u are an air-head seeking attention. Ur points are so off point and irrelevant to this thread. This is an abuse that will surely come to an end the sooner the better. I will keep saying this. Lazy a.s.s men, dnt keep looking for excuses, be the man and step up. For those who support and endorse laziness, the floor is yours. But, I sincerely hope smart, diligent, resourceful contributors will have their say.

bibigirl, pls shut up. Everyone here says mind ur business. Good for u and ur working class husband. Do u know if the man has a medical condition that has incapacitated him?
Ur husband has a job now, if he gets sacked tomorrow na so.dem go talk ur own. If the joblessness bothers u that much please call police.