A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd better buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that sold intimacy gadgets and started looking around for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.

He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dil,dos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped.

"Except what?" the man asked.

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking Love Machine.

The businessman laughed, and said, "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dil,do in this shop!"


The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."

The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle.

Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!"

The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiet once more. "I'll take it!" said the businessman.


The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special Love Machine and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch."


After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably Hot and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"

The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind- shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.


Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dil,do. On the way, another incredibly intense orga,sm made her swerve all over the road.

A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!"

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my Azz." Then he turned to Leave...


The rest is history...

laughs



Can't stop opening my teeth

Lol,

At least better than that crap on the frontpage.

Lol, very funny. I can only imagine what it will do to the poor officer's azz.

Lwkm

i swear u no get work.. Old man

Pity officer

Lolzzzzz

Lol..

visionbiafra: Lol, very funny. I can only imagine what it will do to the poor officer's azz.

;Dhhahahhaha, wat a funny story!!!

Voodoo

;Dgreat one frm HQ.am on the floor