I am engaged to a wonderful man from Lagos, whom I have known for more than a year. Now that mother sees that I am serious about marrying this man, she is going out of her way to try and prove that he is yet just another Nigerian scam artist that she has read about. I have put this man thru every test in the beginning myself, just to be certain before I would even be friends with him, let alone date him. We skype daily, yet my mother is convinced he has used a professional model's picture to pass off as his own. He is currently living in Russia, attending a university there on a student visa. He has been there for 3 years, he pays for his own education with his various jobs in entertainment. He dances, sings at weddings, parties, etc. Since he is a regular entertainer at one of the nightclubs there, his photos are often on an entertainment website. He is also often on local television there, since he is very popular in the city as an entertainer. He was noticed by a modeling agency and asked to do a photo shoot about a year ago. The professional photos my mother is concerned about, are genuinely him. He has never asked me for money, to receive any packages on his behalf, to cash any money orders for him, or just ever asked anything from me in general. EVER. All he ever asks of me is just to be his wife and spend my life with him as his "Queen". I have sent him cards for valentines day, to the address in Russia. As soon as he received it, he skyped me with the card in his hand, very happy to have received it. He is indeed exactly where he says he is, he has many photos of himself at the university, in his classroom, etc. My question is, how do I prove to my mother that he is NOT a scammer, when she refuses to skype with him so she can see for herself. Mind you, her opinion or disapproval will not stop me from marrying the love of my life, my soulmate. However it would just mean so much to have her blessing, and to finally know that she is willing to get to know him. PLease, any advice is welcome. And any questions you may have, if you have any doubts such as my mother does! THanks in advance. By the way, i will be coming to Lagos in 2 months and I am totally excited to see the place my sweetheart calls home Hope to meet some of you while there.

r u nigerian?

abohrandy: r u nigerian?

No I am not Nigerian. He is Nigerian, but currently studying abroad in Russia.

dat name looks Nigerian though!! so what do u want us to do for you now?

Lovely

abohrandy: dat name looks Nigerian though!! so what do u want us to do for you now?

Yes, Ife is the nickname my love calls me by. Adekola is the surname i will take when we are married in April. And honestly, I am just reaching out for moral support, since I don't have any support from my mother. I understand her concern about internet romance and the connection with money scams. But this is not the type of person my fiance is. We are American and she has heard too many bad stories about Nigerian romance scams and she is determined to prove that I have fallen for one. But i know this not to be the case. I just wish someone can tell me how to convince her to see for herself.

@ifeadokola, let me tell u d truth, if u've known him for solid three years and he's nt asked for ANYTIN, I mean anytin. Then u've found urself a husband, as no scam artist will be dat patient. But u hav to be careful all d same

Hmmm...
Just be careful, u never can tell.

Don't believe this story is real mehnnn..the OP is just playing with NLers jor..he is one naughty NLer..hehhehehe

SMH

Look at the title and the story......one dumb azz OP.

SniperInADiaper: SMH

babe you keep shaking your head,....why?

Mrs..Chima:
Look at the title and the story......one dumb azz OP.

Truckpusher: babe you keep shaking your head,....why?

Na tourettes.

Mrs..Chima:
Look at the title and the story......one dumb azz OP.

Thank you. But my story is genuine. I have indeed found a wonderful man that has asked me nothing other than my hand in marriage. And I also know that he is not trying to marry me for US citizenship, as he has insisted he will live anywhere in the world I should choose to be with me. I respect your country far too much to toy with anyone by posting anything that is not truth. But alas, It is not you I am trying to prove anything too, it is my own mother. I just wish she had done more research on romance scams to see their means and motives so that she can see this is not what is happening. And I am very aware that the scams are everywhere. I posted here because it is because my fiancée is Nigerian that she is so doubtful of his intent. All of research reveals that the highest rate of romance scams come from Nigeria and Russia. Mind you, he is Nigerian LIVING in Russia...so this only complicates her understanding. Thank you to those of you with the kind comments and encouragement. As I have stated, I can't wait to come for my visit and meet all of the wonderful people I have heard so much about

Just wondering.. how old are you?

When she meets him, she will be convinced na. And if she is not who cares? Is she the one marrying him?

Mynd_44: When she meets him, she will be convinced na. And if she is not who cares? Is she the one marrying him?

Gbam!

Mynd_44: When she meets him, she will be convinced na. And if she is not who cares? Is she the one marrying him?

Wonderful advice
Thank you, I was pretty much following along on the same thought. But it does hurt a little that she is unwilling to give him a chance yet. But I do agree, when she meets him she will have no choice but to love him. I am just blessed and happy that his family already loves me and have not even seen me yet. thank you for taking the time to comment. Blessings to yoU!

SniperInADiaper:

Gbam!

LOL...I'm sorry, I don't understand Gbam? Hope it was something positive tho! IF so, thank you so very much...Haha, but if not, Gbam yourself
And to answer your question...I am old enough. Old enough to marry who I want, old enough that I do not need mother's permission...if this was the point you have in mind, I have received it well. Thanks for the reminder

I have a question that is slightly off topic, but still related. Why does the registry need a full body picture from me? If I am missing an arm or a leg they will not let me get married lol?? Seriously, why do they need that?

ifeadekola:

Thank you. But my story is genuine. I have indeed found a wonderful man that has asked me nothing other than my hand in marriage. And I also know that he is not trying to marry me for US citizenship, as he has insisted he will live anywhere in the world I should choose to be with me. I respect your country far too much to toy with anyone by posting anything that is not truth. But alas, It is not you I am trying to prove anything too, it is my own mother. I just wish she had done more research on romance scams to see their means and motives so that she can see this is not what is happening. And I am very aware that the scams are everywhere. I posted here because it is because my fiancée is Nigerian that she is so doubtful of his intent. All of research reveals that the highest rate of romance scams come from Nigeria and Russia. Mind you, he is Nigerian LIVING in Russia...so this only complicates her understanding. Thank you to those of you with the kind comments and encouragement. As I have stated, I can't wait to come for my visit and meet all of the wonderful people I have heard so much about

You r welcome.

ifeadekola: I have a question that is slightly off topic, but still related. Why does the registry need a full body picture from me? If I am missing an arm or a leg they will not let me get married lol?? Seriously, why do they need that?

Why didn't you ask the registry?

Mrs..Chima:


Why didn't you ask the registry?

Good idea

3 years and he has not asked you for anything?... one thing is for sure is that he is NOT after your money. He is still a man and can still do other manly vices BUT i don't think he is after your money.

The "Vulture" is a patient bird.
food for thought.

unforgiven: The "Vulture" is a patient bird.
food for thought.

True but not in humans

NubiLove: 3 years and he has not asked you for anything?... one thing is for sure is that he is NOT after your money. He is still a man and can still do other manly vices BUT i don't think he is after your money.

Good, because I would sure hate to disappoint him, lol...I don't have any. I struggle to pay my bills and keep my home stocked with what we need. He also knows I am a single mother supporting 3 kids on my own. He tells me so much that he needs to hurry and make me his wife so he can be here to help me take care of "his" family. He has already built a nice relationship with the youngest 2 of my boys. So I believe I have a keeper And since my original post, my mum has started to come around a little. Baby steps,but at least she is giving it more thought and no longer fighting it. Thank you all for your posts! Be blessed friends.

i advice that you see,discuss and know his family very well before going into marriage.Thats how its done in Africa.You are not going to get get married to him only but his entire family,not in the literal sense though.

Niralanders are such cynics. the woman has made up her mind, she also knows the history of what some Nigerians have done. so instead of putting doubts in her mind, let her live her life the way she wants it. Nothing is garunteed in life but to actually live life you have to take chances.

Besides if he were marrying her for papers, she is not obligated to file the papers. Also poster i don't know where you are from but you know that you have to meet the family members of the person you want to marry to have an idea of what you are getting yourself into.


Experience is the best teacher and everyone graduates from Mr. experience's class

I understand what you mean. Although I have not met the parents in person, I have skyped with his dad and mum, and both brothers, as well as held conversations by telephone. And we also communicate through Facebook often. I have already developed a strong relationship with the youngest brother and my future father in law, and both my father in law and mother in law to be have given us their blessing. In fact, we first arranged to get married and have a honeymoon in the Bahamas. When it became clear that his father was disappointed that he and his mum could not be there to witness, I decided to arrange to go to Lagos instead. It is because of his parents and brothers, and their warm reception of me, that my was made up that he is definitely worth marriage. And so right are you about the citizenship! However I do not have a problem filing for it, because as I stated before he has made it clear he will live anywhere on God's beautiful green earth if need be, just to prove to me that he is after nothing more than my heart. At this point he doesn't need to prove anything. I believe in my heart. And since my original post, my own mother has come around slightly. She is warming up to the idea a little bit finally. Of course at this point, with the flight already paid for and arranged, the proper documents already in place with the registry, my passport and visa in hand, Frankly I don't care anymore what my mother thinks. I only wanted her to be happy for me, but I realized, IM happy, HE's happy, my true friends are happy for me, and look, some of you total strangers even seem to be happy for me THanks all for your replies.

Another satisfied customer