Dfew

Has she told you why she was doing that? How come you keep so much cash around, whatever happened to the bank?

Not condoning stealing.

hectortex: I have got this little problem. Am a cash person, i carry much cash around more than i might need at a time.
At first i blamed my sister for the shortages i encounter because she used to do that way before i got married until she swore to me she dosent have access to my money with my wife around. my wife has also been privy to my decision to cut her allowances on several occassions cos of this same issue. until this morning, i discovered yet another shortage and due to a mild fever last nite, i was practically in our room the whole nite. so there was no question of anybody else taking anything in my absence. Ok i was very mad so i grilled her and threatened to make things difficult if i didnt get the money all the while hoping i was wrong about her.
this evening she opened up on how she did it and has been doing it for a while.
my problem is not like she hasnt got money, i make sure of that. she got access to about 50grand right inside our room but couldnt take her hands off my wallet.
i dont know how to handle this; am thinking of pulling a plug on all her allowances except the very basic ones and keeping my wallet far above her reach. I just dont know if its a right move.
If you were in my shoes,what would you do??

N.B: mod please i would want this to remain here in the family section

All you stingy men
How dare you call your wife a thief
U need to ask for forgiveness immediately


My husband was hiding his wallet and sometimes putting it under his pillow just because I was taking little chicken change from it for lunch
Nonsense !!
How can a woman steal from her own husband
Are we not joined in holy matrimony again?
In Igboland wives are lovingly called odoziaku which translates to mean " the one who arranges the wealth"
Your own is to bring in the money,allow me to arrange it na ,as expected
I pitied him sha one day long ago when we had no credit cards ,he came home ranting about how he was so embarrassed at the store When it was time to pay and he Opened his wallet and the cash was depleted
I said ewoooo, di m oma
I am so sorry
But did it stop me ?
Whosai
If a man has 5 $20 bills in the wallet I bought him for Christmas why can't a woman who bore him bouncing baby boys take one or two $20 as the spirit leads
I don't do it as much anymore
I now ask him first and if he says no i have no cash on me and I go to the wallet and see cash,he can't come back and claim that he had cash
Abi?
Love u boo

babyosisi:

All you stingy men
How dare you call your wife a thief
U need to ask for forgiveness immediately


My husband was hiding his wallet and sometimes putting it under his pillow just because I was taking little chicken change from it for lunch
Nonsense !!
How can a woman steal from her own husband
Are we not joined in holy matrimony again?
In Igboland wives are lovingly called odoziaku which translates to mean " the one who arranges the wealth"
Your own is to bring in the money,allow me to arrange it na ,as expected
I pitied him sha one day long ago when we had no credit cards ,he came home ranting about how he was so embarrassed at the store When it was time to pay and he Opened his wallet and the cash was depleted
I said ewoooo, di m oma
I am so sorry
But did it stop me ?
Whosai
If a man has 5 $20 bills in the wallet I bought him for Christmas why can't a woman who bore him bouncing baby boys take one or two $20 as the spirit leads
I don't do it as much anymore
I now ask him first and if he says no i have no cash on me and I go to the wallet and see cash,he can't come back and claim that he had cash
Abi?
Love u boo

Lmaooo! according to sharia law, you should be locked up . Still cant stop laughing. #just kidding. mrs babyosisi

@baby hmmmmmm. I read a thread here, where u pushed against joint account. Hmmmmm na wah ohhh only for you to be robbing the man blind. Hahahahha, funny, his money our money, your money my money.

I enjoy your writing style @babyosisi.. i feel i am in your home watching drama... do u have a diary or write a novel

Afamdman: @baby hmmmmmm. I read a thread here, where u pushed against joint account. Hmmmmm na wah ohhh only for you to be robbing the man blind. Hahahahha, funny, his money our money, your money my money.

interesting insight...@afamdman...

OP talk to ur madam and express your displeasure...u guys shd work it out

Read some threads from other people"s POV

https://www.nairaland.com/1257382/what-wrong-taking-money-hubbys

https://www.nairaland.com/593165/does-taking-money-husband-make

@babyosisi

nice way you put it. i have never been addressed as stingy. and if you had read my post very well, you would ve seen where i mentioned having enough money in the house that os within her reach.
what am trying to understand is why shes doing it ; obviously not of lack of of it

Gudintent: Has she told you why she was doing that? How come you keep so much cash around, whatever happened to the bank?

Not condoning stealing.

that s exactly what am trying to figure out. dont know why she does it knoking someone else might take the fall for it?

as per banks, its just the way am wired

What does she use the extra money for?
Maybe you are not giving her enough and she feels she deserves more..

It is wrong to take someone else's money without informing them! Couples or not. Whichever way we want to look at it.

Now, if it was an emergency and there wasn't enough time to inform the hubby, she could take and make sure she tells him before he finds out. Moreover, he said there is always 50k set aside for her.

Personally, I would hate to confidently go to my purse to pay for things at a grocery store only to find out that its empty or short! It could be very embarrasing.

Op u need to sit her down and ask why she does that. Cos u said its not for lack of money. Is she doing it so your sister takes the fall for it? Does she want your sister out of the house and looking for ways to implicate her so u can send her away? I don't know. Please have a real discussion with her. There must be a reason she does what she does.

But, if she insists there is no "hidden" agenda, don't stretch it any further. Just tell her to inform u anytime she needs money beyond the one u say u set aside for her.

Most times, wives just love taking that of their hubby from wallet cuz it seems to be sweeter. As in, there's this fullfillment wen u do but just small cash ooo. If I happen to see a top of say 3k, I would take dat from hubby's wallet but 3 times, a thousand each other day. At poster, find out why she does dat before u know what to do cuz if u block other means as u want to. She can start going outside which can be more deadly for ur marriage. Good luck

Thank you for the responses.
@chaircover
you ve made valid points. as for asking to account for how much she spends, thats so not me. I only tend to raise eyebrows if some money that was meant to last a particular period does not get to that time. she has free use of the money even to the point of been termed extravagant.

as per cutting of allowance, i do not intend to. was just asking for opinion

Hotstepper: Most times, wives just love taking that of their hubby from wallet [size=16pt]cuz it seems to be sweeter. As in, there's this fullfillment wen u do but just small cash ooo.[/size] If I happen to see a top of say 3k, I would take dat from hubby's wallet but 3 times, a thousand each other day. At poster, find out why she does dat before u know what to do cuz if u block other means as u want to. She can start going outside which can be more deadly for ur marriage. Good luck

I'm not one to judge because I also take, but I certainly do not lie about it!

@ Poster, the way I see it, maybe you are stingy with your wife and that's why she feels the need to lie to you about taking money from your wallet!

It's a very simple thing. If she has access to cash, she will have no need to steal.

Not justifying it, just saying you may want to reconsider how you manage your finances at home.

Lying about it, is the problem. Do I pinch from oga's wallet??yes even did today sef but he knows not to look further. The person who pinched the money from the wallet is right under his nose and not in sokoto.

What is wrong is wrong, dia is no oda word 4 it.

Ask ur sef would you lyk if sm1 else did such 2 u, mayb ar own children sef, infact its a sin, cos it is stealing, if u must do such, ask him, nd if u do such because he is stingy or wateva, inform him latern imagine dis man as bin nuturing d feelings dat it is his sister, don't betray ur spouse trust because of money, wu knows he myt av given you freely, nd if not, be contended wit wat u av.

Contentment wit godliness is gain

hectortex: @babyosisi

nice way you put it. i have never been addressed as stingy. and if you had read my post very well, you would ve seen where i mentioned having enough money in the house that os within her reach.
what am trying to understand is why shes doing it ; obviously not of lack of of it

Does she know she can take the other money without you yelling that somebody has touched the money you kept to buy new aircon
She probably thought it was safer to take from your wallet than from a bundle

My dad was a businessman,he is retired now,my mom dared not touch any bundles of money in the house,it could be for buying cement or paying the workers
God forbid that one Naira should miss from that bundle,even your bolus of garri will do anti peristalsis and comot from your mouth if he looks for it
But the change in his wallet or trouser pocket doesn't incur as much wrath. for mom alone,no child dared do such
Maybe your wife had a father like mine so learned to respect bundles of money and preferred your wallet
You may need to tell her she could take money from the bundle when she needs money

hectortex: Thank you for the responses.
@chaircover
you ve made valid points. as for asking to account for how much she spends, thats so not me. I only tend to raise eyebrows if some money that was meant to last a particular period does not get to that time. she has free use of the money even to the point of been termed extravagant.

as per cutting of allowance, i do not intend to. was just asking for opinion

Finally you have answered your own question why she does it despite the 50k you set aside for her free use
The moment you raised those eyebrows that she didn't stretch the money as you envisaged,she devised other means to make the money last so that your eyebrows will stay put
She started taking from your wallet to supplement
Please increase that allowance from 50 to maybe 100k
Obviously she needs more

wow.. very deductive,....

babyosisi:

Finally you have answered your own question why she does it despite the 50k you set aside for her free use
The moment you raised those eyebrows that she didn't stretch the money as you envisaged,she devised other means to make the money last so that your eyebrows will stay put
She started taking from your wallet to supplement
Please increase that allowance from 50 to maybe 100k
Obviously she needs more

I will assume financial institutions are out of reach, so, I'll suggest you put your money in her custody to keep for you and must be made available on demand. By so doing, she will be held accountable for every missing kobo.

Pls do not stop or reduce her allowance, as that would only aggravate the issue here.

Next time, you dont say your wife steals from you, "she takes from your money" is better.

Happy weekend

The woman is just bein extravagant if I must say.
Is she a stay at home wifey? If d answer is yes,start up something for her.let her go and hussle for money.I'm sure she will learn how to spend wisely.
I can't blame her cos she is seein it that's why.and by d way, what d hell is she spendin it on that d amt hubby keeps for her was never enof?
Some women sha. Very bad habit I must say.very soon she will start sending junior to go and get money from daddy's wallet.that's how it normally starts.and of course its her hubby's money so she has d right.assumin,d table is turned,she will curse d man from nigeria to jerusalem but bc its hubby's,I hv d right.
Lecture her seriously bor and mean it.
WTH!

Even though I take from oga's wallet,anyday I look for my $10 bill on top of the dresser and he happened to take it
Ha!!
The man won't rest until he gives it back

yellowpawpaw: The woman is just bein extravagant if I must say.
Is she a stay at home wifey? If d answer is yes,start up something for her.let her go and hussle for money.I'm sure she will learn how to spend wisely.
I can't blame her cos she is seein it that's why.and by d way, what d hell is she spendin it on that d amt hubby keeps for her was never enof?
Some women sha. Very bad habit I must say.very soon she will start sending junior to go and get money from daddy's wallet.that's how it normally starts.and of course its her hubby's money so she has d right.assumin,d table is turned,she will curse d man from nigeria to jerusalem but bc its hubby's,I hv d right.
Lecture her seriously bor and mean it.
WTH!

Don't be too harsh abeg
All her loving is worth more than any money she takes

biolabee: I enjoy your writing style @babyosisi.. i feel i am in your home watching drama... do u have a diary or write a novel

Lol.
Thanks
I write for pleasure ,I write jokes too
Yes
No novels yet

This topic is interesting,for D̶̲̥̅̊ past two weeks my consience has been disturbing me. I do same to my husband he wants me to sit home ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ do nothing we Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ع quarrel over this issue of making me a house wife. Gives me 70 for D̶̲̥̅̊ everything, monthly I keep complaining of H̶̲̥̅̊♡̷̴̬̩̃̊w̶̲̥̅̊ things are skyrocketing I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ D̶̲̥̅̊ market. So what I do is to be removing like #500 or #1000, Iτ̲̅ depends but I can't kill myself or prostitude.

tabletop: This topic is interesting,for D̶̲̥̅̊ past two weeks my consience has been disturbing me. I do same to my husband he wants me to sit home ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ do nothing we Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ع quarrel over this issue of making me a house wife. Gives me 70 for D̶̲̥̅̊ everything, monthly I keep complaining of H̶̲̥̅̊♡̷̴̬̩̃̊w̶̲̥̅̊ things are skyrocketing I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ D̶̲̥̅̊ market. So what I do is to be removing like #500 or #1000, Iτ̲̅ depends but I can't kill myself or prostitude.

Your conscience cannot prick you when you are taking money from the family purse for the good of the family
Is he not eating a lion share of the food you are buying and cooking?
Please continue what you are doing,,after all he doesn't know and there is peace because he is not yelling that you are asking for more money
You now want to go and confess abi?
Why?
I command that conscience to stop bothering you from this moment onwards

Baby,you are too much. If you see where he orders for cowleg, chicken stew even when I complain †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ my baby diaper or their golden morn is finished or †̥ђɑ̤̥̈̊†̥ yam ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ garri Ђ̥̊α̲̅√ increase he dosent want to know. I can't even send a dime to my parents, ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ once you touch his money he knows, he was asking me yesterday, I said I don't know ooooh, because he wil make trouble if I tell him D̶̲̥̅̊ truth. At least I was able to recharge my phone buy my kids juice, bananna without thinking dat if I touch D̶̲̥̅̊ house keep money I wil be adding ɑ̤̥̈̊Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ subracting, I want to stop but if I do Iτ̲̅ wouldn't be easy on me

Does your wife not work.

What did she use the money for

Are there some people she has to pay for personal services rendered Like a younger guy or is someone blackmailing her that she needs more and more money?

How can you be living in your own house and still be checking your wallet before you leave home to see if your wife has struck again.

If you say nothing is wrong with this maybe until you go to a filling station buy fuel and put hand in pocket to pay and find it empty or some goods that can't be returned. How would such wife teach the children not to steal when she does the same

I suspect she is a full time housewife let her get something to do and make her own money so she can have a separate account for her needs after the house joint expenses

dayokanu: Does your wife not work.

What did she use the money for

Are there some people she has to pay for personal services rendered Like a younger guy or is someone blackmailing her that she needs more and more money?

How can you be living in your own house and still be checking your wallet before you leave home to see if your wife has struck again.

If you say nothing is wrong with this maybe until you go to a filling station buy fuel and put hand in pocket to pay and find it empty or some goods that can't be returned. How would such wife teach the children not to steal when she does the same

I suspect she is a full time housewife let her get something to do and make her own money so she can have a separate account for her needs after the house joint expenses

It is you that is a thief!!

Please you folks should stop using the word steal
I am getting upset
A wife can never never steal from her husband
The word steal does not even come near inside matrimony
No labels please

Why not tell your husband that you removed money? That's the problem. Why the silent? eh

babyosisi:

It is you that is a thief!!

Please you folks should stop using the word steal
I am getting upset
A wife can never never steal from her husband
The word steal does not even come near inside matrimony
No labels please

Wu says so, u ar jst trying 2 justify ur deeds, wat does not belong to you is not yours, if u take it den it is stealing.

What if ur child takes(steals) ur money, ar u not his/her parent, so do we say a child does not steal 4rm his parents! Hell no! Its lyk saying our leaders ar not stealing cos its dia country or sm1 stealing church's momey nd u say its his church, its not stealing.

I disagree wif u on dis, taking sm1elses property, item, money.... Is stealing, no oda 2 words 4 it, u can ask d peson dats d solution!

Anoda tin is dat she said her conscience pricks her, ur conscience does not prick u if wat u doin is ryt, it pricks u if it wrong, nd u ar trying 2 cast it out, dats wrong, ama lady 2 aldo not yet married!

I think she needs 2 get a job, being a stay at home mum is outdadted nd not a gud decison, apologise 2 ur husband nd stop d act, dats d only way u can av a free conscience, don't b lazy earn ur own money, nofin feels gud more dan dat, trust me, no mata au much!

badoist:

Wu says so, u ar jst trying 2 justify ur deeds, wat does not belong to you is not yours, if u take it den it is stealing.

What if ur child takes(steals) ur money, ar u not his/her parent, so do we say a child does not steal 4rm his parents! Hell no! Its lyk saying our leaders ar not stealing cos its dia country or sm1 stealing church's momey nd u say its his church, its not stealing.

I disagree wif u on dis, taking sm1elses property, item, money.... Is stealing, no oda 2 words 4 it, u can ask d peson dats d solution!

Child and parent.....,husband and wife are two different scenarios. I don't get the logic behind you comparing these two.

Also, can you please type in full English. People like me struggle to read your post