A naija man found himself lost and
wandering in a forest. After a few hours
trying to find his way, he came upon a small
house. He knocked on the door and was
greeted by an old chinese man with a long,
grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man, "can you put me up
for the night?"
"Certainly," the chinese old man said, "but on
one condition. If you so much as lay a finger
on my daughter, i will inflict upon you the
three worst chinese tortures known to man".
"Ok," said the naija man, thinking that the
daughter must be pretty old as well, and
entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the
stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a
nice shape. She was obviously attracted to
the naija man since she couldn't keep her
eyes off him during the meal. Remembering
the old man's warning, he ignored her and
went up to bed alone.
But during the night, he could no longer bear
it, and sneaked into her room for a night of
passion. He was careful to keep everything
quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near
dawn, he crept back to his room exhausted,
but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest.
Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his
chest with a note on it that reads,
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest".
"Well that's pretty crappy," he thought, "If
that's the best the old man can do then i
don't have much to worry about". He picked
the rock up, walked over to the window and
threw the rock out. As he did, so he noticed
another note on it reads:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle".
In panic, he glance down and saw the rope
that was already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones were
better than castration, he jumped out of the
window after the rock. As he plummeled
downward, he saw a large sign on the
ground that reads:
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to
bedpost".
##It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a
man makes his way to his seat right at
center ice. He sits down, noticing that the
seat next to him is empty. He leans over and
asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting
there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is
empty." "This is incredible," said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat
like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?"
The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat
belongs to me. I was supposed to come
with my wife, but she passed away. This is
the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to
together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so
sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But
couldn't you find someone else, a friend or
relative, or even a neighbor to take the
seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he
says. “They're all at the funeral."

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a
knock at the door. He opens the door and
sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the
snail and throws it as far as he can. Three
years later, there’s a knock on the door. He
opens it and sees the same snail. The snail
says "What the hell was that all about?"

Pls,keep it cuming