Hi Ese,
Read through your story with a palpitating heart! Why ? I Never wanted the secretes as revealed by you to be much because I have always been a defender of the gospel and Christians generally even as i'm not a pastor & don't intend to be one by morrow.But at the end of your story,I was glad you did let it out,if not for your own relief but also for mine and the church,COZA !
Now see below my own confession:
I have always been a Christian who defends the gospel of Jesus, the holy bible, 'men of God', church members and anyone who believe that Jesus is Lord! I started doing this after i gave my life to Christ some 4/5yrs ago. I get tensed whenever i hear negative news emanating from the church or the pulpit itself. I believe i'm wired against any news i perceive to be anti church, pastor or Christians. But while I do all these I know right in my heart that God is what HE says HE is & HE is for real, heaven is real, Jesus saves and that the bible is the TRUE word of God. But in one part of my heart, harbors the knowledge that MOST TIMES the so called 'Christians'(pastors inclusive) I defend aren't really what they claim to be!
See below Scripture that made me to soft pedal on the defense of 'men of God':
Mathew 23:3''so practice and observe whatever they tell you—but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice.''
From the above, these preachers might be preaching Christ but they certainly do not follow Christ!
For some of us like you Ese who might have been hurt one way or the other by some of these men who claim to be 'men of God' becos they put on suits and cassocks, I just want us to know that God is real, heaven is real and Jesus sure saves !
Human will be human and man will be man & remember that even in the man of God cliche,there is still man in it meaning they are imperfect irrespective of their words and 'piusity'. For some who say becos they aren’t Christians but muslims and that their imams, alphas or sheikhs do not indulge in such will only mean that it's either they are not truthful to their self or are just ignorant happenings withing their religion.Two of my friends once told me how a catholic priest and an anglican reverend earnestly begged them for sex at different times & a colleague of mine who is a muslim narrated to me her sex escapade and amorous advancement of her Islamic scholars.Consider other paedophilia cases in some churches and with some Islamic Scholars in the past and in recent times you will see that it has got nothing to do with church denomination but has got everything to do with religious leaders and those they lead!
Sometimes i wonder and asked like you Ese ‘why God should allow these things and not Just come end the world or could it be (like the atheists thought)that 'Jesus no longer saves ?
See below what the word is saying:
2 Peter 3:9''The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.''
God wants’ us all to repent before the coming of HIS SON-Jesus !
Ese,the word of God said we should hold unto that which we have firmly if not,it will be taken away from us prior HIS coming.What is it that is likely to be taken away from us? See below:
Luke 13:5’’No,I tell you; unless you repent, you will all likewise perish’’
Now Ese,Jesus said he will fight for you and all others like you who are HIS becos you have repented of your sins. See below what He said concerning fighting for you but how faithful will you be by the time HE returns?
Luke 18:8''I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?"
As for the so called man of God,see what God is saying concerning him:
1 Thessalonians 4:4-8
‘’It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit''
To conclude on all these Ese,now that you have exposed this 'tare' in the body of Christ and this u said u did for you to be free, kudos to you as ‘you received ur freedom.’ Seek Jesus NOW for you to be completely healed so you do not further hurt yourself, others and the body of Christ! If you had Jesus, the story would have been different today! Drop the smoking and drinking habit. Try Jesus out, HE will heal you completely, ‘pastors’ don’t heal but THE WORD sure does!
For those of you who got disappointed and feel like loosing ur grip on God by no longer fellowshipping with believers as Christ demands,I tell you that you are fulfilling Mathew 24:10-13
‘’At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved’’
You can see from the above that you will only end up hurting yourself on the long run ! The devil is happy with what is going on today in Christendom and wants’ many to be atheists(picking picking up tickets for hell) becos they placed their trust and hope on their popes, bishops, priests, prophets, pastors and fellow Christians. Mathew 24:12 S[b]AYS THAT ON THE LAST DAYS INIQUITIES SHALL ABOUND AND THE LOVE OF MANY WILL WAX COLD ![/b]
Put ur trust in God and HIS word alone. All humans are fallible but the word of God cannot change or fail!
Mathew 7:21-24''“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock''

Jesus is real, HE saves and He is coming back again !

God help us all