After much break from nairaland, o decided to come back and update on how things are going with them.

For those who didn't read the first part.
.please read up here.

https://www.nairaland.com/1320371/oyo-got-call-folas-mum/1#1320371.55

Will be back to update soonest.

Sit tight.

Welcome back baba Oyo

another baba oyo thread on his boy..

#siddon look

Coke+bread+nutella
Blanket +pillow+abeg wu gt bed
Eehh,xo luvin dix thread lyk kindaku,
Na to sleep ere sure pss

Space booked and paid for

dayokanu: Welcome back baba Oyo

Thank you Dayokanu.

UPDATE IN A MINUTE

There is an obvious bond between the two love birds.

The first one month was really critical as I didn't want to meddle in their affairs yet I was conscious of all the teenage exuberance that could be going on behind the scene.

Fola has been coming over during weekends to spend 2-3hours with my boy. The few time he goes there too, I make sure my wife calls the girl's mum to know if its okay for him to be around.


Trying to monitor them seems like a bit being rigid but like many have said in the old thread, freedom can be abused by teenagers no matter how responsible they may be!!!

The first fight they had occurred some 2months into the relationship.

My son had called Fola that he was coming over to her place, and I think the girl wanted to cook for him.
He got a call from one of the boys to help him with something, and my boy didn't call the girl he wouldn't be able to make it as he thought he will see his friend in a giffy.

Now it happened they were stuck with a spoilt car in the middle of somewhere and he didn't make it back to the girls place.

She had tried to call him but calls were not connecting. She was worried sick.

My son got back home late and I remember asking him why he got home a bit late.
Next morning I heared from the little sisters that he and the girlfriend had been outside the gate arguing.
She said he wasted her time and energy when he knew he wouldn't show up to eat lunch with her.

He on the other hand had been angry that she didn't understand that he couldn't just leave his friend with his broken car.
He didn't want to accept he should have excused his friend and be with her.

I am supposed to be a passive father I'm all of these. But somehow I manage to hear the gist....loll.

I wasn't going to say anything as my wife had called him to tell him that next time, the best he should do is get a mechanic to check the friends car and go for his date. That he staying with his friend was of no consequence as he isn't a mechanic.


I was thinking....friend over girlfriend !!!!

Who hasn't been there?

To be updated as time permits.

Speaking in support of Baba Oyo, I think your approach is excellent!
Speaking in support of Bobo Oyo, this tin no dey sweet with all dis mummy-daddy tin jare, the tin go sweet pass if they have to pick to their heels and start parking well when your car's horn honks! I wouldn't trade those moments for these whole 'mummy called to know if you're doing fine' parols jor.




*remind me to edit this thread when my pikin starts nairalanding*
TENQ!

alutacontinua: Speaking in support of Baba Oyo, I think your approach is excellent!
Speaking in support of Bobo Oyo, this tin no dey sweet with all dis mummy-daddy tin jare, the tin go sweet pass if they have to pick to their heels and start parking well when your car's horn honks! I wouldn't trade those moments for these whole 'mummy called to know if you're doing fine' parols jor.




*remind me to edit this thread when my pikin starts nairalanding*
TENQ!

Good you added the postscript lol, easier said when its not your turn! I remember the agros I gave my mum when I was to serve as a corper wanting to be independent and go to serve in Sokoto. Now that its my son's turn to serve, ehem he must serve under my nose o! hindsight is 20/20

watching in 5d

Really learning from this thread. So that when my kids get to this stage, I'll know how to handle the situation.
Baba oyo, waiting for more updates oo.

Truth be told, the relationship between two teenagers who are in higher institution is something that should be devoid of too much sensorship but as a parent, and for the mere fact that I know about it before it began, it will be hard to turn a blind eye.

The real relationship will begin when both of them can be trusted to make good decisions for each other.

I don't tell him what to do or not to do with his girlfriend, all I do is give a general advice to him and his younger siblings.

After much talk to him by my wife, I called him and asked him how he would feel, if he had to wait all day at home for someone and then rhw person refuses to show up! He wanted to start arguing how he couldn't leave his friend all alone before a mechanic could come.

I remember when in University, we also had this strong bond with our guys, how we would pick the guys before a girlfriend. It was a choice that has been debated over and over. We even had a vulgar name for the guy who decided to choose a girl over the guys.

He decided to go get some call card and call Fola. And I believe he wanted to apologize.

Lol,thank God i came early,space booked.anyway i have nothing to say,let me just siddon and watch

*Spreads mat on thread*

#following#

This thread is an eye opener!

Good parents will allow their sons(children) to "grow" up and best parents will allow them to remain up.

In essence, if you really love your children, leave them to take some decisions on their own and let them learn from the consequences of the outcome of the decisions taken, be it good or otherwise.

Not allowing them do this is tantamount to not allowing them to grow up.
And if you don't allow them to grow up, they will forever remain kids, which is one of the major reasons we have "mummy boys"as husbands and daddy girls as wives these days.

Therefore, I'm appealing to everyone not to just read or go through this thread as mere entertainment, but as lessons to learn from.

May God help us all.

greatgod2012: This thread is an eye opener!

Good parents will allow their sons(children) to "grow" up and best parents will allow them to remain up.

In essence, if you really love your children, leave them to take some decisions on their own and let them learn from the consequences of the outcome of the decisions taken, be it good or otherwise.

Not allowing them do this is tantamount to not allowing them to grow up.
And if you don't allow them to grow up, they will forever remain kids, which is one of the major reasons we have "mummy boys"as husbands and daddy girls as wives these days.

Therefore, I'm appealing to everyone not to just read or go through this thread as mere entertainment, but as lessons to learn from.

May God help us all.

Some decisions if taken on their own can mar their destiny. It is better children are counselled in taking good decisions. As parents, once we can identify the end of such decision, best bet is to look for real and practical examples of those who thread such path to let them see the end. It is better they become bitter against us for not allowing them take such decision than allowing them to become an eternal regret. Sooner or later, they will appreciate the effort.

However, as you rightly said, they should be given freedom to take independent decisions. The grooming starts from childhood by nurturing them in the way to go so when they are old, we will have peace that they will most times do what is right.

bellong:

Some decisions if taken on their own can mar their destiny. It is better children are counselled in taking good decisions. As parents, once we can identify the end of such decision, best bet is to look for real and practical examples of those who thread such path to let them see the end. It is better they become bitter against us for not allowing them take such decision than allowing them to become an eternal regret. Sooner or later, they will appreciate the effort.

However, as you rightly said, they should be given freedom to take independent decisions. The grooming starts from childhood by nurturing them in the way to go so when they are old, we will have peace that they will most times do what is right.

There is no sane parent that wouldn't have properly guided their kids before allowing them to take decision. In essence, I'm not saying that they shouldn't be counseled when they are taking decision, but after counseling and proper upbringing, they need to be left alone to grow up and remain up, to take decision and face the consequences. If for any reason, any child decide to go against the good upbringing of his/her parent, I think IMO, such a child should be left to face the consequence. By 18 years of age, our children should be independent, they must have been exhibiting the good upbringing that has been imparted into them by allowing them to take some independent decision.
Just my opinion anyway!
May God help us all.

greatgod2012:


There is no sane parent that wouldn't have properly guided their kids before allowing them to take decision. In essence, I'm not saying that they shouldn't be counseled when they are taking decision, but after counseling and proper upbringing, they need to be left alone to grow up and remain up, to take decision and face the consequences. If for any reason, any child decide to go against the good upbringing of his/her parent, I think IMO, such a child should be left to face the consequence. By 18 years of age, our children should be independent, they must have been exhibiting the good upbringing that has been imparted into them by allowing them to take some independent decision.
Just my opinion anyway!
May God help us all.

I agree completely...

Awwww . . . the joys of parenthood.

I used to think my mum has super power of knowing all my moves! Now I know who the traitor is!!! *Kid brother just loose the visa to my room*

Thank You BabaOyo!!!

Phder: I used to think my mum has super power of knowing all my moves! Now I know who the traitor is!!! *Kid brother just loose the visa to my room*

Thank You BabaOyo!!!

Lollllz....kid bro just got deported.

In reality, I believe the upbringing of kids is not something that has a ready manual that works with all families.

Each kid is unique and should be treated as such!!

I will recommend strict monitoring till they are ready to leave for College.
Any kid living under my roof will abide by my rules.

When a kid goes to higher institution and is independent to an extent, then I might consider giving him/her a breather from then on.

spreads my royal mat, throws pillow on it, grabs kunu and masa from d kitchen... *clears troath*...

i still be learner o...
viewing from my royal corner...