I had the opportunity of chatting with a friend yesterday and i asked about her fiance, she told me of how all the churches she visited and all the pastors she met told her he is not her husband, That she will not enjoy the marriage. so now she is tryn to quit the relationship. what ever happens to seeking the face of God yourself? I am of the opinion that there is no man made for any woman going by what the bible says that 'HE WHO FINDS'.

Your friend is not yet ripe to be married. He is not matured emotionally and spiritually.

Only babes are driven about with every wind of doctrine. Whatever a pastor will tell you should be a confirmation of what you already know.

Yes you must if you're a guy and he's the father of the girl you intend marrying.

She should ask God by herself. Why is she a child of God if she can't approach Him for direction concerning who she's supposed to spend the rest of her life with? God will speak to her if she is patient enough to listen. Pastors are meant to confirm what God has already revealed to you, they shouldnt be the one to reveal God's direction for your life. Afterall it is your life, not theirs. @ the end of the day, you will be the one to live with the consequences of your decision. No pastor would be held accountable for your actions

You do not need any confirmation from any pastor to marry anyone.

her elder sis who happens to be my friend has d same issue. she once told me she met one pastor who asked her to list all the boys she has ever dated, he ended up pickn d one she left a long time ago as her future husband. till date she is not married. i want to believe some families are like dat. curiosity kills the cat. i believe you should pray to God when you in curtship with anyone, not enquiring what the future holds.

A man or woman who needs the pastor to look into the future or approve of his/her choice is not ready for marriage. It looks like transfering responsibility just in case. I mean does the pastor feel what you feel? Has the pastor spent as much time with the person as you have done?

I feel its immature people that do that.

angiemartinez: I had the opportunity of chatting with a friend yesterday and i asked about her fiance, she told me of how all the churches she visited and all the pastors she met told her he is not her husband, That she will not enjoy the marriage. so now she is tryn to quit the relationship. what ever happens to seeking the face of God yourself? I am of the opinion that there is no man made for any woman going by what the bible says that 'HE WHO FINDS'.

To answer this question. I would say both 70% yes and 30% no. God chooses to speak a lot through his servants (ministers) whom the person involved is directly under. The man/woman should seek God for themselves too so they have both confirmations. Sometimes God would not speak to a person until they have put it forward to their shepherd/pastor.

Godmouth:

To answer this question. I would say both 70% yes and 30% no. God chooses to speak a lot through his servants (ministers) whom the person involved is directly under. The man/woman should seek God for themselves too so they have both confirmations. Sometimes God would not speak to a person until they have put it forward to their shepherd/pastor.

Can you back the bolded up with a credible and convincing evidence?

bellong: Your friend is not yet ripe to be married. He is not matured emotionally and spiritually.

Only babes are driven about with every wind of doctrine. Whatever a pastor will tell you should be a confirmation of what you already know.

yes thats partly true because pastors should only asvice,the final decision should rest on the couple in question.it is not in the place of pastor to choose whoever you want to marry.afterall,its you and your partner that will live together not you and pastor

would you now leave the person you have been dating becos of what your pastor said? to me i would rather seek the face of God myslf, no matter the revelation and prophesy, prayer can change all that. pastors must have something to say

Godmouth:
Sometimes God would not speak to a person until they have put it forward to their shepherd/pastor.

I dont agree with you on this, but seeing your username, i wont say anything, because i know that you too wont agree with me.

@op, is it the pastor that will live with the person till death do them part.
Smh

angiemartinez: would you now leave the person you have been dating becos of what your pastor said? to me i would rather seek the face of God myslf, no matter the revelation and prophesy, prayer can change all that. pastors must have something to say

There are some things God reveals to you so you can take preventive actions/precautions and not just pray. No, prayer doesn't change some things.

bellong: Your friend is not yet ripe to be married. He is not matured emotionally and spiritually.

Only babes are driven about with every wind of doctrine. Whatever a pastor will tell you should be a confirmation of what you already know.

the friend is female.....
men rarely seek these spiritual answers when looking for their brides but women would comb every nook & cranny to look for answers like they are not sure of their choice.

coogar:

the friend is female.....
men rarely seek these spiritual answers when looking for their brides but women would comb every nook & cranny to look for answers like they are not sure of their choice.

Thanks for pointing it out, wanted to write she....


They run to spiritual houses because they seek assurance of what lies ahead. In most times, they do it the wrong way and out of fear which these commercial pastors capitalise on....

bellong:

Thanks for pointing it out, wanted to write she....

They run to spiritual houses because they seek assurance of what lies ahead. In most times, they do it the wrong way and out of fear which these commercial pastors capitalise on....

they should continue looking - the more they look, the more heartbroken they get. many of them have paid hundreds of thousands to fake spiritualists. some have even used their bodies in the process. being too over-religious can erode one's common sense.

coogar:

they should continue looking - the more they look, the more heartbroken they get. many of them have paid hundreds of thousands to fake spiritualists. some have even used their bodies in the process. being too over-religious can erode one's common sense.

If they don't look, the commercial religious folks will lack customers... . They are helping in keeping the food chain stable with their ignorance and "religiosity"...

bellong:

Can you back the bolded up with a credible and convincing evidence?

I have several: I will use the one with my own pastor and my own personal example. A respected man of God here in the UK was told by his member (a lady) about a man who proposed to her and promised commitment and mariage. She was totally convinced by this guy as he was near faultless in his approach and proposal to the lady. She brought it to her shepherd (Apostle) and he invited the man to his office for him to introduce himself. Astonishinly God revealed to this man of God that this so-called suitor is false and had been married to two women before in Nigeria. Using my own example, I met a Christain lady whom I became fond of and gravitated towards her and mutual feelings developed and we found ourselves in a relationship. I believed she was my suitable helper. I had dreams (she had dreams too) making us believe God was speaking to us that we were meant to be together. When I presented it to my pastor (she wasn't convinced and said I should seek God more for concrete evidence. I went by my own intuition/dreams I and this lady had, believing God was behind us. However it became clear to this lady and I that our judgement has been clouded by emotions and desires.

You see the reason why I said God would rather speak through a minister/pastor (70%) of the time is because most people become biased in terms of hearing God: when it comes to inquiring about a man/woman for a spouse. Numerous examples I have which I can't really type all here.

greatgod2012:





I dont agree with you on this, but seeing your username, i wont say anything, because i know that you too wont agree with me.

@ greatGod2012

This isn't about arguing one's case. God moves in ways that are unique and mysterious. He can speak to a man/woman seeking him regarding a life partner directly. Sometimes he can however only choose to reveal it to one's shepherd before revealing it to them (couple). This is usually the case when both parties are already fond of each other (already in a relationship). You can't hear God in such circumsatnces when your emotions are already involved with someone. I have many examples of guys dissapointed and ladies heart broken who went down this route.

Note: don't mind my name.. lol I speak out of conviction of God's spirit with and real life experiences I have come across in regards to this matter.

Godmouth:

I have several: I will use the one with my own pastor and my own personal example. A respected man of God here in the UK was told by his member (a lady) about a man who proposed to her and promised commitment and mariage. She was totally convinced by this guy as he was near faultless in his approach and proposal to the lady. She brought it to her shepherd (Apostle) and he invited the man to his office for him to introduce himself. Astonishinly God revealed to this man of God that this so-called suitor is false and had been married to two women before in Nigeria. Using my own example, I met a Christain lady whom I became fond of and gravitated towards her and mutual feelings developed and we found ourselves in a relationship. I believed she was my suitable helper. I had dreams (she had dreams too) making us believe God was speaking to us that we were meant to be together. When I presented it to my pastor (she wasn't convinced and said I should seek God more for concrete evidence. I went by my own intuition/dreams I and this lady had, believing God was behind us. However it became clear to this lady and I that our judgement has been clouded by emotions and desires.

You see the reason why I said God would rather speak through a minister/pastor (70%) of the time is because most people become biased in terms of hearing God: when it comes to inquiring about a man/woman for a spouse. Numerous examples I have which I can't really type all here.

Your examples are not concrete enough and do not have biblical support. Yes, I do not doubt the revelations of God through his ministers but I will never agree that God will not reveal some things to you except you share it with your pastor. That to my understanding has no biblical root.

However, God may reveal stuff to your pastor when you are very insensitive or willingly suppressing information to stop you from entering a gulf but He will never withhold information about your life from you.

The lady you described already believed she cannot hear God herself by your description, hence she resorted to telling her pastor. While in your case, your dreams came because of the many emotions you already stuffed up for the lady. And who says the pastors themselves cannot be deceived? You need to read the bible well to know that we all as christians have the mind of Christ and by the spirit we know all things......

bellong:

Your examples are not concrete enough and do not have biblical support. Yes, I do not doubt the revelations of God through his ministers but I will never agree that God will not reveal some things to you except you share it with your pastor. That to my understanding has no biblical root.

However, God may reveal stuff to your pastor when you are very insensitive or willingly suppressing information to stop you from entering a gulf but He will never withhold information about your life from you.

The lady you described already believed she cannot hear God herself by your description, hence she resorted to telling her pastor. While in your case, your dreams came because of the many emotions you already stuffed up for the lady. And who says the pastors themselves cannot be deceived? You need to read the bible well to know that we all as christians have the mind of Christ and by the spirit we know all things......

We do have the mind of Christ and by His spirit we know all things. However you are talking in disregard to shepherds that God has placed over his people. A shepherd can be deceived yes: but there are true shepherds out there. Honestly I have seen more men and women intending to get married deceived than shepherds themselves. God can speak to people about their life partners but He places shepherds over them and what I am trying to say is that He chooses to reveal such an important issue as marriage through shepherds many at times. Cos even though one has the mind of Christ (emotions are very powerful) which can cloud the judgement of any believer when seeking God.

In addition, God speaks only to those who take him seriously: James 4 vs 8. So it's not just about being a Christian and having the mind of Christ: but by having a solid walk/relationship with God.

Mr Coogar, take five jare!

In addition, they should endeavour to tell pastor when they want to do kpekus so he will tell them the right timing else..........

Very gulliable pple. Why won't church biz flourish.

Godmouth:

We do have the mind of Christ and by His spirit we know all things. However you are talking in disregard to shepherds that God has placed over his people. A shepherd can be deceived yes: but there are true shepherds out there. Honestly I have seen more men and women intending to get married deceived than shepherds themselves. God can speak to people about their life partners but He places shepherds over them and what I am trying to say is that He chooses to reveal such an important issue as marriage through shepherds. Cos even though one has the mind of Christ (emotions are very powerful) which can cloud the judgement of any believer when seeking God.

In addition, God speaks only to those who take him seriously: James 4 vs 8. So it's not just about being a Christian and having the mind of Christ: but by having a solid walk/relationship with God.

You are still not getting the point. Is there any place I have claimed there is no genuine minister of the gospel? Even the genuine ones can still be deceived when you both placed idols in your heart.... If you cannot pray to God yourself about the issue of marriage, how can you pray to God when you are confronted with storms of life in the marriage?

Read Ezekiel chapter 14 to understand what I am saying

bellong:

You are still not getting the point. Is there any place I have claimed there is no genuine minister of the gospel? Even the genuine ones can still be deceived when you both placed idols in your heart.... If you cannot pray to God yourself about the issue of marriage, how can you pray to God when you are confronted with storms of life in the marriage?

Read Ezekiel chapter 14 to understand what I am saying

Bro look we must not throw away the virtue of sumbission and orderliness in the house of God. Hearing God takes a close relationship with him which comes with time and experiences. What I am saying is so many Christians of marriageable age are not on this wavelenght/level. Look bro I am with a lady whom I believe God has cosen for me that I haven't even mentioned to my pastor yet, but that is because (not boasting) I have built a solid walk with God over the years: so hearing him is like bread and butter.

80% of pastors will always spell doom, one called me out frm one church service and said am about to make a mistake, i took it to God in prayers cos i dont want any pastor to confuse me. . buh today i am married to that same person with a peaceful home. when you are too careful, u become careless. when they now see all the vision, fear begins to set in. instead of you to resolve any issue amicably, you will want to baze it on what you were told.

Godmouth:

Bro look we must not throw away the virtue of sumbission and orderliness in the house of God. Hearing God takes a close relationship with him which comes with time and experiences. What I am saying is so many Christians of marriageable age are not on this wavelenght/level. Look bro I am with a lady whom I believe God has cosen for me that I haven't even mentioned to my pastor yet, but that is because (not boasting) I have built a solid walk with God over the years: so hearing him is like bread and butter.

What has submission and orderliness in the house of God to do with a man finding a wife? Why must a man and a woman make the pastor their God, pastors are not God. Man and wife to be can pray to God as well and they need not be the holiest member of the church before God speaks to them. All it takes is a sincere heart.

You don't need any confirmation from your pastor before you marry. Marry your best friend, the person who understands you and the person you love.

fidatt: You don't need any confirmation from your pastor before you marry. Marry your best friend, the person who understands you and the person you love.

what if a guy has 6 female friends that he understands & loves?

@fidatt i quiet agree with you becos the bible says 'he who finds' not he who seek his pastor for confirmation.

twogood: Yes you must if you're a guy and he's the father of the girl you intend marrying.

Did you make any sense with your post?

andromida:

What has submission and orderliness in the house of God to do with a man finding a wife? Why must a man and a woman make the pastor their God, pastors are not God. Man and wife to be can pray to God as well and they need not be the holiest member of the church before God speaks to them. All it takes is a sincere heart.

So are you saying God cannot use a shepherd/minister to speak to someone about the right person to marry? You seem to be jumping to conclusion that taking such issue to a minister of God is 'worshipping them as Gods'. That's a rash statement to make as your heart might be sincere, but you might still be sincerely wrong. You might be convinced you have found a life partner believing you are hearing God: but you are been biased and clouded by your resolve to do what you want at the end of the day. This matter is a sensitive one and as a result a lot Christians go to God with bias and prejudices hence the need for confirmation of not just only pastors but men/women who are mature in God. It doesn't have to be a rule of thumb, but it is a very safe route to follow.

A lot of Christians 'idolize' their pastors which is totally wrong and ungodly: but there is a danger in disregarding their spiritual oversight over believers. Marriage is a spiritual institution first and foremost even though it need various physical inputs to make it work.