Features of a True Muslim Lady (Arranged in preference)
1. She must encourage her husband to practice Jihad. i.e. "Honey, when will you go for your shooting lessons?"
2. She must avoid listening to music. e.g. Toni Braxton, Jay Sean, W. Houston and co.
3. She must not smoke cigarette when using the hijab or when not.
4. She must love Allah and Mohammed than her husband.
5. She must not be the girl who loves having boyfriends.
6. She must never engage in fruitless discussions. i.e. Her friends will like to talk about a guy who they may really love but only gossip and speak ill of him by describing his foolishness.
7. She must have a clean bath after her cycles.
8. She must not sleep too much nor watch nollywood when idle.
9. She must not intend to be a gold-digger.
10. She must not for one time think that girls with "Aristos" will ever make Paradise.

I saw this post by Frizy on September 12, 2008.
And i wonder what other people think about this topic so i had to raise it again as a topic on its own for we all to contribute.

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts . . . (Qur'an 30:21)

Surely,if one is to follow the injuctions of Allah and decide to choose from and "dwell in tranquility" with the ladies of the present world a great feat awaits one.
I must admit that Frizy only tried to capture his own idea of what is expected of the average muslimah without giving a thorough appraisal of the true muslimah in question.
If we all go back in time to the days of Adam and Eve when the need for a woman was first stressed, you'll discover that the first act of disobedience was engineered by a woman.
You will agree that all or most of the vices in our society today are due to the misdeeds of our women.
It could be in their expectations of their men folk or their disattisfactions in them.

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man's life, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman."

Every household that is blessed with children must surely have a woman of the house and her resposibilities to her household concerning the children and wards that constitiute a small unit of the society cannot be over emphasised.
This in no small way determines what ills we see in the society.
It affects what we read in newspapers or see on TV screens.
It all boils down to the way the woman of the house nurtures her children,perform her duties and acts with her husband.

Since we all probably now agree that women have a great responsibilty to perform in turning the society around for good, then whenever you decide to choose one for keeps, don't forget to be very discreet in considering good qualities which are by far out of reach in the present day.
Perseverance of course will see you through Insha Allah.

( For Muslim men and women - for believing men and women, for devout men
and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise - for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur'an 33:35)

In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.

mybad:

I
Since we all probably now agree that women have a great responsibilty to perform in turning the society around for good, then whenever you decide to choose one for keeps, don't forget to be very discreet in considering good qualities which are by far out of reach in the present day.
Perseverance of course will see you through Insha Allah.

so good women are out of reach. In your area or what? Because the generalisation of ur statement insinuates that there are no longer good women alive or did I get you wrong.
I'd have said there is a general moral decadence in the society and every individual needs to check him/herself. Are the menfolk left out of the tragedy that some homes have become today? does it not take two to tangle?
conclusions such as yours are meant for the nonbelieving women, not for Muslimah. I know a lot of muslim women who are exemplary homemakers so this 'out of reach thing' is very wrong.

And the way some men, especially our brothers go about this women taking care of the home thing, you'd think they're completely left out of the duties of building the home. And even in some cases, where the woman accepts the sole responsibilty, it is the 'man' of the house who destroys it all with this 'manly' attitudes.
No one is doubting that the woman is the pillar of the home, but the women definitely need the love and support of the man. Let us take good examples from the best of humanity, Rasullullah, look at how much time and love he gave to his family and how tenderly he handled them. How many men do that these days? Now, for our men, playing with the kids, being around the home, showing love to the wife, are regarded as being effeminate.
Our brothers need to really wake up and shed off some ego.

zayhal:

And the way some men, especially our brothers go about this women taking care of the home thing, you'D think they're completely left out of the duties of building the home. And even in some cases, where the woman accepts the sole responsibilty, it is the 'man' of the house who destroys it all with this 'manly' attitudes.
No one is doubting that the woman is the pillar of the home, but the women definitely need the love and support of the man. Let us take good examples from the best of humanity, Rasullullah, look at how much time and love he gave to his family and how tenderly he handled them. How many men do that these days? Now, for our men, playing with the kids, being around the home, showing love to the wife, are regarded as being effeminate.
Our brothers need to really wake up and shed off some ego.

showing love to memunatu,mukinatu,aishatu and sikiratu.
wives not wife

_Queenisha:

showing love to memunatu,mukinatu,aishatu and sikiratu.
wives not wife

Yeah. very well and even better for memunatu, mukinatu, aishatu and sikiratu because they all know one another and have a bond. Better than the pretense of ur men, confessing undying love at home and messing around with queenisha, mary, carolina,rebecca, angela,augusta,philo etc. Giving u daily heartaches plus the potentials of STDs. Deceit at its peak: the 'one man one wife' you claim.

@Queenisha: When will you become one? That is, let the Oga sa takes up another one. He is 9ja, aint he? He can chew and talk at the same time, you know. lol. Am sure you are darn greedy woman.

@zayhal: Salaamualaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh, Uktu. Jazakallahu Khair. Thanks for your response to Queen Queenisha! Even though muslim men can marry more than one wife, it is the minority of the population that have more than One wife. The majority have just One!

Queenisha will want men to have the nature of women at all cost. The nature of women is the One husband at a time, since the father of the children have to be identiably clear. She, Queenisha does not mind if a man has one wife, by takes of the neighborhood women and those of neighboring sections of the town as play things!

I wonder how she will treat the sexually diseases that will plague this group of women who are servicing this married man with one wife, while they the other women are also servicing the other men, their boy friends and lovers?

Queenisha, are you there, baby?

zayhal:

Yeah. very well and even better for memunatu, mukinatu, aishatu and sikiratu because they all know one another and have a bond. Better than the pretense of ur men, confessing undying love at home and messing around with queenisha, mary, carolina,rebecca, angela,augusta,philo etc. Giving u daily heartaches plus the potentials of STDs. Deceit at its peak: the 'one man one wife' you claim.

Bond indeed!
keep deceiving yourself woman!
Women like you in Malaysia and Morocco have taken to the streets in their hijabs to stop this "abunna sharing"
stay there and be drinking kunu

Sadly he still has memunatu,sikiratu,aishatu,mukinatu at home or in different cities
then in Lagos,he has bimbo and Laide
In Abuja Halima and sa'adatu
In Owerri Ngozi and Nwanneka
at Calabar Ekaette and Iquo
and when in PH Ibiene and Suzy
In kano and Katsina he has Hassan and Yusuf
how una dey manage sef with this una alhaji dan multiple Iyawo
who doesn't know that polygamous men are the most promiscous of men.
the same wandering eyes that led them to other women lead them to many more

olabowale:

@Queenisha: When will you become one? That is, let the Oga sa takes up another one. He is Nigeria, aint he? He can chew and talk at the same time, you know. lol. Am sure you are darn greedy woman.

@zayhal: Salaamualaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh, Uktu. Jazakallahu Khair. Thanks for your response to Queen Queenisha! Even though muslim men can marry more than one wife, it is the minority of the population that have more than One wife. The majority have just One!

Queenisha will want men to have the nature of women at all cost. The nature of women is the One husband at a time, since the father of the children have to be identiably clear. She, Queenisha does not mind if a man has one wife, by takes of the neighborhood women and those of neighboring sections of the town as play things!
I wonder how she will treat the sexually diseases that will plague this group of women who are servicing this married man with one wife, while they the other women are also servicing the other men, their boy friends and lovers?

Queenisha, are you there, baby?

OSANOBUA!!!
who tells you that?
I am all for one man one wife.
You are Yoruba abi?
How come Yoruba Muslim women have the highest number of divorce cases in the family courts in the whole of Nigeria ?
The co habiting or one wife in Kafanchan,another in Owo and a third and 4th on Ikorodu road and Sabon gari   is obviously not working for them.
and they promptly leave  (after bearing alaye boys all over the place that the father can't even count) because they are more enlightened and freer than their Hausa and Arab counterparts who could be hacked to death with a suya knife by family members if they dare to leave.
Thanks to Christian influence.
You people owe us one
You now have 3 wives abi?
with the eye I'm seeing you,you'll end up like that mallam with 86 wives
you wan make we bet?

I don't dip where others dip my dear.
I'm too special to share my man with ashewonatu and wakinatu
I have enough self esteem to know foolishness when I see it.

?

lolol

@Queenisha: « #7 on: Today at 07:32:57 PM »

Quote from: olabowale on Today at 06:03:11 PM
@Queenisha: When will you become one? That is, let the Oga sa takes up another one. He is Nigeria, aint he? He can chew and talk at the same time, you know. lol. Am sure you are darn greedy woman.

@zayhal: Salaamualaykum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh, Uktu. Jazakallahu Khair. Thanks for your response to Queen Queenisha! Even though muslim men can marry more than one wife, it is the minority of the population that have more than One wife. The majority have just One!

Queenisha will want men to have the nature of women at all cost. The nature of women is the One husband at a time, since the father of the children have to be identiably clear. She, Queenisha does not mind if a man has one wife, by takes of the neighborhood women and those of neighboring sections of the town as play things!
I wonder how she will treat the sexually diseases that will plague this group of women who are servicing this married man with one wife, while they the other women are also servicing the other men, their boy friends and lovers?

Queenisha, are you there, baby?


OSANOBUA!!!
who tells you that?
I am all for one man one wife.

Greedy woman! She can't do but few gymnastics! The same woman who was concerned about hip problems if the workout is gruelling! Commot for road!

You are Yoruba abi?

Oh sweat! No you didn't. Not the Yoruba jokes. Thats my acheles heel! lol.

How come Yoruba Muslim women have the highest number of divorce cases in the family courts in the whole of Nigeria ?

They are picking up your greedy sunnah, thats how come! Two can play this joke, joker! lol.

The co habiting or one wife in Kafanchan,another in Owo and a third and 4th on Ikorodu road and Sabon gari is obviously not working for them.

You put the Owo there just to spite me, since you know thats my mum's home town. You are wicked. I will tell my mommy! Seiously, a man or a woman who by selfish desire goes against the law of Allah has a lot to answer for. Now you will agree that even with so many wives, the Jewish God still honor Jacob (Israel)! Same also happened to Abraham!

As bad as it is, more call girls/prostitutes are non-muslims! Tell me why, Queenisha! Just imagine, if you have allowed without the unnecessary self centeredness to let Oga get one woman to help you. How sweet will it be! lol. Commot, again!

and they promptly leave (after bearing alaye boys all over the place that the father can't even count) because they are more enlightened and freer than their Hausa and Arab counterparts who could be hacked to death with a suya knife by family members if they dare to leave.

And am a good example. I only have two children. What do you say about that? See!

Thanks to Christian influence.
You people owe us one

Who are the christian copying when it comes to matrimony; Jesus or whom?

You now have 3 wives abi?
with the eye I'm seeing you,you'll end up like that mallam with 86 wives
you wan make we bet?

Lets bet! You make the call. In every way, you will lose! What I want from you, madam, is to revert to Islam, with Oga and pidkins, and the larger family in the "Village." What time limit should we give this? 10 years or sooner or what exactly?

I don't dip where others dip my dear.

You don't dip. You are a woman, I must remind you. lol. She forgot her gender, already. I hope you are not putting up long pants and jockey cup! You are from Nigeria, I beg. Let the dipper dips!

I'm too special to share my man with ashewonatu and wakinatu
I have enough self esteem to know foolishness when I see it.

The foolishness is what you are doing, exactly. I know about Nigerian men and their ever wondering eyes. I am a Nigerian man. It is islam that will tame a man, especially the Nigerian man. If you know a Nigerian Muslim, sorry the Yoruba Muslim man, who is roving about, just imagine that if he was a Christian. Can you imagine that he will not be barred, in theory by anything! And i know about Igbo men. A lot of them are friends in New York City.

Some carry rubber in their persons, while they are the husbands of beautiful Ngozi and Obigailly of the neighborhood. And they never stop professing their Christianity as born again, either.

Queenisha, commot for road. Let me pass! LOL.

@ olabowale
Its quite disheartening when one raises an important issue and the likes of you and Queenisha turn it to an avenue to make passes at each other.
It doesn't help research and the intent of reaching a conclusion is defeated.
I advise we all get serious with issues like this.
There are other threads waiting for people to crack jokes on, not this one.

@ zayal

conclusions  such as yours are meant for the nonbelieving women, not for Muslimah. I know a lot of muslim women who are exemplary homemakers so this 'out of reach thing' is very wrong.

Unto you your religion, and unto me my religion.(Quran.109.006 )

This verse of the Quran says it all Zayal.
I need not concern myself with the unbelieving women.
Instead, i owe a responsibility to my sisters in Islam who belong to my fold and i will stop at nothing to ensure they do not go astray.
If hurting their feelings will make them see reason, so be it.

zayhal:

Yeah. very well and even better for memunatu, mukinatu, aishatu and sikiratu because they all know one another and have a bond. Better than the pretense of ur men, confessing undying love at home and messing around with queenisha, mary, carolina,rebecca, angela,augusta,philo etc. Giving u daily heartaches plus the potentials of STDs. Deceit at its peak: the 'one man one wife' you claim.

@zayhal

Rite on!

@mybad

Pls do not lump Queenisha with Ola, time's past for muslims to be complacent.

please do not lump Queenisha with Ola, time's past for muslims to be complacent.

@ayinba1
Sorry i did.
You know, i don't quite understand what you mean.

@Mybad: « #11 on: September 28, 2008, 08:48 PM »

@ olabowale
Its quite disheartening when one raises an important issue and the likes of you and Queenisha turn it to an avenue to make passes at each other.
It doesn't help research and the intent of reaching a conclusion is defeated.
I advise we all get serious with issues like this.
There are other threads waiting for people to crack jokes on, not this one.

Thanks for your advise. May Allah reward you for your advise. Makes your way easy. Amin.

The woman in question is married. Is it permissable that I am after a married woman? Is it
permissable that I go near "ZINA"? Please my primary focus on this forum, nairaland, is
not less than to talk about Islam. In every little way I can.

There is no other intentions. And I do not intend to indulge in what you maybe insinuating.
I am not making "passes" at her. Definitely, I am sure she is not making passes at me.

@olabowale
Sorry for being too hard on you.
Your previous posts were not intended to draw attention to Islam and they were definately not meant to educate the populace about the beauty of the religion.

Greedy woman! She can't do but few gymnastics! The same woman who was concerned about hip problems if the workout is gruelling! Commot for road!

As an ambasador of your religion, your speech is meant to be guarded to avoid being quoted later.
Nobody is however a saint.
Am not close to being one myself but i think with Brothers like you and the Ummah in general we'll make perfection together.

_Queenisha:

OSANOBUA!!!
who tells you that?
I am all for one man one wife.
You are Yoruba abi?
How come Yoruba Muslim women have the highest number of divorce cases in the family courts in the whole of Nigeria ?
The co habiting or one wife in Kafanchan,another in Owo and a third and 4th on Ikorodu road and Sabon gari   is obviously not working for them.
and they promptly leave  (after bearing alaye boys all over the place that the father can't even count) because they are more enlightened and freer than their Hausa and Arab counterparts who could be hacked to death with a suya knife by family members if they dare to leave.
Thanks to Christian influence.
You people owe us one
You now have 3 wives abi?
with the eye I'm seeing you,you'll end up like that mallam with 86 wives
you wan make we bet?

I don't dip where others dip my dear.
I'm too special to share my man with ashewonatu and wakinatu
I have enough self esteem to know foolishness when I see it.

oghene, this is getting funny. I don't dip where others dip my dear. God forbid bad thing

mybad:

@olabowale
Sorry for being too hard on you.
Your previous posts were not intended to draw attention to Islam and they were definately not meant to educate the populace about the beauty of the religion.

As an ambasador of your religion, your speech is meant to be guarded to avoid being quoted later.

his various posts reveals his heart

@JJYOU: My heart, is known to Allah, the Almighty, alone. So is yours. And everyone's. No exception. I will leave it there.
I will not be unjust to anyone, just because I dislike the way he/she follows. And I will not be unjust to anyone, unwarantedly, just because the person hates my way.

No one says that Islam and muslim should be boring. I laugh, moderately and when appropriate. My focus is singularly; to work hard for the pleasure of God Almighty Allah, from now till the day that I die! In the process, I will make make mistakes. So I will seek forgiveness of all my mistakes, sins, known and unknown!

sorry gov you are on your own with this one. allah can never know my mind. i choose Christ and His Spirit. i am not under the govt. of your allah. that is a choice. he only knows your heart because you gave yours to him. mine belongs to Christ. i enjoy it that way

JJYOU:

sorry gov you are on your own with this one. allah can never know my mind. i choose Christ and His Spirit. i am not under the govt. of your allah. that is a choice. he only knows your heart because you gave yours to him. mine belongs to Christ. i enjoy it that way

@JJYOU
What can one say?
I think its high time we stopped spiting Olabowale.
He has rights to say whatever he wishes to say in a free society like ours and on nairaland at that.
I still think we shouldn't however derail from the topic of this thread.
Religious differences has virtually nothing to do with who the true muslim lady is.
Squabbles about one religion being better than the other seem to have overtaken all the threads on nairaland and its really surprising why in this modern age, we can't exist side by side peacefully.

olabowale:

@JJYOU: My heart, is known to Allah, the Almighty, alone. So is yours. And everyone's. No exception. I will leave it there.
I will not be unjust to anyone, just because I dislike the way he/she follows. And I will not be unjust to anyone, unwarantedly, just because the person hates my way.

No one says that Islam and muslim should be boring. I laugh, moderately and when appropriate. My focus is singularly; to work hard for the pleasure of God Almighty Allah, from now till the day that I die! In the process, I will make make mistakes. So I will seek forgiveness of all my mistakes, sins, known and unknown!

@olabowale
You've taken this issue a bit too far.
I agree with you if you want to be the clown in the house.
One who wants to provide comic relief at intervals.
I assure you nairaland is not a ghost house and there are thousands of posters who will dwarf your attempt at making people laugh.

You are my Brother and i approve of your efforts at promoting our religion.
The topic of the thread still remains "who is the true muslim lady".
Don't be distracted by cheap squabbles or posts by nairalanders.
Its very obvious from your response to JJYOU's post that you are not familiar with the ways of women and as such you don't have one in your domain, i mean a woman of the house!

However,ride on my brother.
Be yourself.
Life is short but don't "over-live" it.

Queenisha,

Give it to them the way it is.

@mybad: To laugh and be friendly, are not the same as being a "clown in the house!"

Further, I am married. I guess I know a thing or two about women. I am a father, too.

Alhamdulillah. Prpphet Muhammad (AS), laughed and joked with his companions and his
family members. It was reported that he ran a race, as in good competition with his bride,
our mother, Aisha (RA).

Should I not copy from this noble soul?

Very well.
Of course you can copy the noble Prophet.
I didn't know you're married until now.
Anyway, i think you should act more as a role model to those of us who don't seem to have a good enough reason to settle down yet or don't find marriage interesting.
Lets learn from your experience every now and then my brother.

@Mybad: Marriage is commanded on all . There is no room for permanent "Bachelor or Spinster." Marriage should not be either interesting nor uninteresting. Its a must. Otherwise, human will die off at a very geometrical rate. Allah will make way for you. Amin. Read the Qur'an and study the Hadith, and discover the importance of marriage and having offspring!

@mybad

Are u a true muslim man? And how old are you? I have a few muslim sisters; I promise you nothing more than you would be doing what is pleasing to Allah if you choose a mate from among the ummah, you have to know that none is perfect.

And what are the major hindrances to our brothers and sisters getting married?

ayinba1:

@mybad

Are u a true muslim man? And how old are you? I have a few muslim sisters; I promise you nothing more than you would be doing what is pleasing to Allah if you choose a mate from among the ummah, you have to know that none is perfect.

And what are the major hindrances to our brothers and sisters getting married?

My age has virtually nothing to do with marriage.
You'll be surprised at the number of muslim ladies i've dated and been very serious with but for some very understandable reasons we cannot be together.
I've had my fair share of the wicked ways of women and i can write several books on the attitudes of the opposite sex.

I started out with searching for a "perfect woman".
When i realised that it was a tall dream, i relegated my search to a "near perfect" woman and when that also seemed unreasonable, i had to stop and take whatever i can get.

I have since not found all or most of my requirements in any woman and its alarming and not quite good for the Ummah.
I have since concluded that all women are thesame except for the fact that those their attitudes exist in different proportions.
Am serious about settling down.
And when i find my lady, she will surely be a muslim from among my people no doubt.

@ayinba
Hmm. your new signature is fascinating, I like that.

@mybad
Little wonder you said earlier that there's no longer good women in the society. Perhaps you are searching for the impossible. Are you perfect or near-perfect yourself? Is it right for a true muslim to go into courtship before marriage? For sure, you won't get any good in a lady who agrees to date you before marriage, because no true muslimah goes dating before marriage!
How would you know if a lady's got all or most of your requirements when you're yet to live together. Even if you court for 10years, you still may not get this! Like every other thing in life, choosing a partner is a risk, and Alhamdulilah, we, muslims are at an advantage because the Prophet has given us the prescription for these things. Du'a, Istikhara.
As muslims, we shouldn't concentrate too much on looking for the faults in others. The Prophet (saw) said, four things are sought in a woman: wealth, beauty, family background and religion. And he (saw) conclude that Pick those with sound religion and not those with the best behaviour. This is because a woman with sound religion will surely have the fear of Allah which will ultimately shapen her character.

Follow the injunctions of Allah, the teachings of His Rasul, and be content with what you get afterwards.

zayhal:

@mybad
Little wonder you said earlier that there's no longer good women in the society. Perhaps you are searching for the impossible. Are you perfect or near-perfect yourself? Is it right for a true muslim to go into courtship before marriage? For sure, you won't get any good in a lady who agrees to date you before marriage, because no true muslimah goes dating before marriage!
How would you know if a lady's got all or most of your requirements when you're yet to live together. Even if you court for 10years, you still may not get this! Like every other thing in life, choosing a partner is a risk, and Alhamdulilah, we, muslims are at an advantage because the Prophet has given us the prescription for these things. Du'a, Istikhara.

Its not entirely as if i'm being too choosy or anything close to it.
Like every sane young man who wants the best out of marriage, i am being cautious and its only because out of many bad eggs, the very good ones need be selected and kept aside.
I shouldn't open my eyes and enter into a union that would lead me to an early grave should i?

About the specifications of the Prophet, i am well aware but how many Muslim ladies have those qualities to look out for.
If you have any good one in your vicinity let me know.
Insha Allah,I'll be the first to show my willingness to tie the knot.

mybad:


About the specifications of the Prophet, i am well aware but how many Muslim ladies have those qualities to look out for.

How do you, Mybad, go about looking for good qualities in a Muslimah. Is it through dating/courtship? I'll repeat again, follow Allah and His Rasul and rest content with what you get afterwards. It is until you start living with a person, before you'd know the true character of that person. Your own part is to look for a muslim sister, whose outward appearance shows she's a true muslimah, pray for the good in her, observe your Istikhara and leave the rest to Allah. You can also ask people around her about her character, this is also permissible, but not quite reliable in our society today.
May Allah grant you what'll be best for you, and remember, be a good Muslim too! It's not all about us, you know.

@zayhal

This is how it should be but most of our brothers and sisters today choose the dating route and when the problems arise, they wonder why. May Allah guide us aright, amin

@zayhal

This is how it should be but most of our brothers and sisters today choose the dating route  and when the problems arise, they wonder why. May Allah guide us aright, amin

How do you, Mybad, go about looking for good qualities in a Muslimah. Is it through dating/courtship? I'll repeat again, follow Allah and His Rasul and rest content with what you get afterwards. It is until you start living with a person, before you'D know the true character of that person.

@ zayal and ayinba

I know Zayal is married and with children too but ayinba who is single isn't in the best position to give words of advise in this issue because although single, i have a wealth of experience in the marriage institution.
Infact, i doubt if iI'llencounter troubles training ladies before they are married off to their husbands.

I agree with both of you in the area of knowing a lady's character until you start living with her.
I however bbelievethat you cannot be entirely objective in a topic like this since you are both Muslim ladies.
About courtship and dating,it is allowed in Islam except if you don't want to agree with me.
Besides,the world has changed by far and you can't compare the women of the days of the Prophet to the women we have now.
Forgive me but amongst our Hijab wearing sisters you'll even find characters that are quite demeaning.

In my Arithmetic class in high school, a topic called probability states that when you pick one egg from a basket containing 60 bad eggs and 40 good eggs,the chance that you have picked a good one is 40/100 and the remainder is your chance of having picked a bad egg.
Common sense also states that if you don't want to live the rest of your life with a bad wife when you have the chance of making the decision.
Why not  take your time in selecting a good woman?
The fact that one is not a perfect person does not affect a choice of partner.

If you would want me to tell you all about my courtship experiences you'll come to realise that i have come a long way with the Hijab and those that adorn themselves with it.
I have not said that there are no Muslim sisters that have emulating characters, i'I'venly not been lucky to have them.

Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts between two parties in this world and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together.
If a healthy family is sought after in a marriage, then "Deen" should be the first thing to look out for in a woman followed by wealth, beauty, rank, character,compatibility etc.
All these traits cannot be determined without getting close to the Woman.
The Prophet(SAW) even enjoins us to have a close look at the woman if in doubt of her hidden parts,i mean her skin, hair etc. (correct me if am wrong)
It is allowed to seen her skin from the elbow region to her fingers.
However,all these should be done with close supervision.

You must remember that the Holy Quran enjoins us to select partners who are good and pure.
"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity "(Quran 24:26)
I do not support the idea of "sampling" but i don't see how the mere sights of a woman portrays her personality.
The hijab, i respect so much but i have since met women who have rubbished the image of this sacred clothing and am left to wonder what else to seek for in a woman if i don't get to know her well.
The details of my experience i will not bore you with, but i assure you that even as am not a perfect person.
I am objective in my decisions and tender in my ways.
I have never at any time entered into a relationship that i didn't see a future for and my intentions have always been a search for someone with whom I will build a family.
If it has not worked out,it is not because i am imperfect but because i have always pitched tents with those women in the Ummah who seek for nothing but the impossible.

What gives u the impression that zayhal is married and ayinba isn't? Ngbo. Ayinba1, is that true? Remember you once made a mistake regarding Olabowale's marital status? Anyway, that's by the way.
I want to assure you that marriage without courtship still exists in the ummah today. Successful ones at that, at least so far, I have a number of examples and they're doing well. It only takes a firm determination to go by the sunnah of the Rasul (saw).
It's quite true that we have misbehaving sisters, and rather pathetic that you fall into such hands, but have you ever stopped to consider the kind of circle you're in? the kinds of people you associate with? Are sisters not experiencing these same attitudes in the hands of brothers?
Perhaps you need a change of environment? But whatever is/be the case, don't carry on being bitter towards your sisters. No matter how bad we are, there are still some things good about us, remember the hadith?
Do your search now with an open mind and sincere du'a, I'll also pray for you.