Salam alaykum.

First and foremost, I am a Muslimah(alhamdulillah). I pray Allah strenghtens my faith. Please pray for me.

This thread is for Muslims to contribute on. Islamic/Muslim opinion only.

This is not to speak against any part of Islam but to bring some of the issues that bother me into open so my brethren here can help me with them. And other people might learn as well.


We will have this discourse, putting these in mind.
A. Islam is for Yesterday, Today and tomorrow
B. The things that Islam teach us make our lives better as Islam is a very practical Religion
C. That we do the things we do as Muslims because we believe that there is reward in Paradise and that we hope to be safe from hell.

This thread is not one to be considered for the home page

1. Polygyny - a man can marry up to four wives but a woman cannot.

I have been very vocal about my thoughts on this institution. I have spoken in support of it in the past but the more I give it a thought, the more I find it hard to accept.

A. People who support polygyny say that it benefits
A man who may not be satisfied by one woman. But what about women who may not be satiafied by a man?
A2.Islam preaches abstinence b4 marriage and Muslim men and women abide by that. Do you think that it becomes more difficult to stick to a woman after marriage than it is to practice abstinence before it? I just think that that line of thinking does not hold water.

B. Does Islam care for the emotional/psychological state of the women in these marriages? Aisha's reports of jealousy are well documented despite being the favoured wife. What did the other women feel like even as the peophet chose her laps for his final moments.
Competition/jealousy and bad belles throughout a marital life is not something I'd wish anyone so I keep on wondering if it is worthwhile.
B2. There is not much room for reconcilliation with wife in dispute with her husband. Her bed is left while he warms his bed with the other women. Unlike if she is the only one and the need for a quick reconciliation may happen.

C. How about the Children from these marriages? Not that this occurs in all cases but when it does hapen, They are constantly aware of the troubles in the home. They may be exposed to competition from the very beginning and may never be in accord with their siblings.

Salam,

Polygyny is allowed in Islam, it is by no means an obligation.

It is ok for a muslim to find out some of the wisdoms of Islamic permissions, it becomes a problem when a person questions Allah or Islam. That indicates a problem with the person's iman. May Allah strengthen us.

It does not matter whether we understand the wisdom of some laws or permissions, we submit to Allah's superior wisdom anyway. And Allah knows best

A. Polygyny has benefits that are beyond intimate needs. However, it is an important part of marriage. A muslim woman has the right of been satisfied in that regard over her husband and the husband over his wife. A man engaging in polygyny must be able to fulfill as much as he can, the needs of each wife.

Therefore, a man who feels he needs more than one woman to satisfy him also needs to ensure that he can fulfill the needs of the women. A woman in a polygamous home can seek a divorce on the grounds that the husband can not meet her needs. There is a delicate balance , just like everything in Islam. It is as much a challenge on the man

As regards polyandry, there are numerous problems even with the concept. In Islam, marriage is a transfer of guardianship from a father to the husband. There is no such thing as shared guardianship.

The lineage of a child is very important in Islam, a woman having intercourse with multiple men is unlikely to know the father of their child leading to lost lineage. Something frowned against.

She also has the obligation to ensure that each man intimate needs are satisfied not just hers. She juggles this with taking care of the men properties and their children. She will probably have to be in two places at the same time. The more you look at this, its impracticability emerges.

Islam is about Justice and Equity to the sexes not equality. Equality does not translate to justice.

A2. The choice depends on the individual, most muslims are monogamous.

Polygyny remains voluntary but look at the relevance at the time of revelation. Muslim men got killed in battles and it encouraged muslim men to marry widows left. It solved an important social problem.

If widows today are given the opportunity to marry 'good' muslim men who can afford it (polygyny is expensive), it could solve some of the problems we face in many societies and war torn regions of the world.

In the black American community, 70% of children are born out of wedlock simply because there are fewer men. Most of the men are in jail. It saves a muslima from zina and a muslim society from corruption.

B. In Islam, societal benefit is.more important than the feelings of an individual.

That said, non of the messenger's (peace and blessogs be upon him) wives had a bad word to say about him after his death. They all spoke in glowing terms. Infact, they even spoke in glowing terms about themselves.

Jealousy will come up but there are two kinds of jealousy, a destructive kind and a protective kind.

Jealousy is normal. If a strange woman makes a pass at a woman's husband, it is expected that she gets jealous. It is a good thing. It shows that she cares. Same thing for the husband.

As long as one does not do harbour evil, there is nothing wrong with jealousy. A destructive jealousy is one that seeks to harm the other.

Feelings of jealousy stem from something good and positive, i.e. their love of their husband.
As long as the bounds set by Islam are not crossed, there is nothing wrong with jealousy.

Jealousy does not always translate to bad belle.

There are many successful polygamous homes, it does not mean that the women did not get jealous. It just wasn't a destructive one.

Some of these women remain best friends even after the man's death.

B2. Reconciliation would involve having a conversation about an issue. I do not see how
having a second wife stops you from talking

C. Trouble in polygamy is as a result of the adults, failing to act right. My dad is a product of a polygamous and the kids were alright. If not for resemblance, you might mistake the maternity of a few of them.

When there is troublr in monogamous homes, it affects kids as well. Given the high rate of divorce in monogamous homes, I am sure many children go through similar or even worse trauma.

deols: 1. Polygyny - a man can marry up to four wives but a woman cannot.
I have been very vocal about my thoughts on this institution. I have spoken in support of it in the past but the more I give it a thought, the more I find it hard to accept.
A. People who support polygyny say that it benefits
A man who may not be satisfied by one woman. But what about women who may not be satiafied by a man?
A2.Islam preaches abstinence b4 marriage and Muslim men and women abide by that. Do you think that it becomes more difficult to stick to a woman after marriage than it is to practice abstinence before it? I just think that that line of thinking does not hold water.
B. Does Islam care for the emotional/psychological state of the women in these marriages? Aisha's reports of jealousy are well documented despite being the favoured wife. What did the other women feel like even as the prophet chose her laps for his final moments.
Competition/jealousy and bad belles throughout a marital life is not something I'd wish anyone so I keep on wondering if it is worthwhile.
B2. There is not much room for reconciliation with wife in dispute with her husband. Her bed is left while he warms his bed with the other women. Unlike if she is the only one and the need for a quick reconciliation may happen.
C. How about the Children from these marriages? Not that this occurs in all cases but when it does hapen, They are constantly aware of the troubles in the home. They may be exposed to competition from the very beginning and may never be in accord with their siblings.

wa alaykum salam.

a. there are different reasons why men and woman may want to practice polygamy. this is just one of the reasons people give. A woman who doesnt feel satisfied by a man has the option of divorcing and marrying another who can.

a2. yes i do think so. Abstinence is taking your mind of it completely and if you've never tried it you don't know what it actually feels like, you only hear or read, but when you get married and start enjoying it discovering you have a high libido and your partner cant keep up it becomes a REAL BIG problem, in reality there's a higher probability of a man having higher libido than his wife (no research to back it up) more men risk their LIFE to have sex, more women complain of being too tired to satisfy their husband, i read a research that men who assist with home chores get some from their wife more than men who don't. i know a couple who had that problem. he has the option of divorcing her or marrying another some Muslim men chose to marry another, while some non Muslims get girlfriends or mistresses.

b. Aisha's report of jealousy was not anything serious, i mean some real serious jealousy. and only few are documented. its important to understand why the prophet married the women and why the women married the prophet, this women were mostly widows and divorcees. they are not emotionally petty women, they knew, understood and held no grudge, this where women of high standards who knew their was no one better to marry than the prophet. One of the women sawdah (she was the only one married to him as of the time he married Aisha) who was old willingly gave up her nights to Aisha saying she "was old, and cared not for men; her only desire was to rise on the Day of Judgment as one of his wives".
i.e in recent time a man marries a woman out of love and marries another because she's a divorcee or a widow he treats them both with justice but loves his first wife more, they all know this and the second wife understands this she agreed to marry him not for love lets say for security (we do not all marry for love) if he's dying, this second wife will willingly sacrifice her turn for the wife.

b2. each wives has there own nights or weeks, if its her turn either they are quarreling or not ideally he's not to go to the others room except it was an agreement between both of them.

c. that happens when polygamy is not practiced right and sibling rivalry is not restricted to just polygamous homes.

polygyny has a type of marriage ideally has its benefits, but its being abused and practiced wrongly to the extent sometimes we think its all bad but its not, besides if a woman feel strongly about it she needs to state it clearly.

Wa Aliekum salam Deols,

I know that people say that everything in books we must agree with, but I for one don't agree with polygamy. I believe in one man for one woman, or one woman for one man.

I guess that I understand what you are trying to say, you feel as if men are more favoured, you could well be correct.

@Op.I hav dis to add to tbaba and sissie's exposition.
Personally,i hav a couple of islamic injunctions i grapple with but i resolve my internal conflict by reminding myself of d infinite wisdom of the source(Allah).so even when i comprehend not,i attribute it to my limited intellect and accept.some i eventually do comprehend.
As muslims,we should learn to 'accept' Allah and his messenger's ways even when dy are beyond our ken. I give you example of a 4yr old being forced to go to sch but he whines and throws tantrum every morning.Even when you explain frm now till tomoro how his schooling is to ensure better future,he will never comprehend.Few years later,when d intellect is capable,the accomplished 4yrs old of yesteryear will appreciate his parent.My point? Just glide along,whether you understand or not once u're able to confirm a ruling is frm Allah/his messenger.

Another analogy i will use (considerin ur medical background) dt goes in line wt tbaba's societal benefit is dis hadith....'when you hear of an epidemic in a certain land,dont enter such land.but if an epidemic starts in a community while you were present,then do not leave'. To d average sahaba and even a micro-biology-naive individual of this generation,dis instruction is unwise. But you and i know,frm d depth of research on incubation phase,window period,inactive carrier state,disease pathogenesis etc dt dis instruction is astute. and if carried out will be for d public good.

tbaba1234: Salam,



A. Polygyny has benefits that are beyond intimate needs. However, it is an important part of marriage. A muslim woman has the right of been satisfied in that regard over her husband and the husband over his wife. A man engaging in polygyny must be able to fulfill as much as he can, the needs of each wife.

Therefore, a man who feels he needs more than one woman to satisfy him also needs to ensure that he can fulfill the needs of the women. A woman in a polygamous home can seek a divorce on the grounds that the husband can not meet her needs. There is a delicate balance , just like everything in Islam. It is as much a challenge on the man.

I just wish that the divorce is a way out for the man as it is for the woman rather than polygyny.

tbaba1234:

As regards polyandry, there are numerous problems even with the concept. In Islam, marriage is a transfer of guardianship from a father to the husband. There is no such thing as shared guardianship.
The lineage of a child is very important in Islam, a woman having intercourse with multiple men is unlikely to know the father of their child leading to lost lineage. Something frowned against.
She also has the obligation to ensure that each man intimate needs are satisfied not just hers. She juggles this with taking care of the men properties and their children. She will probably have to be in two places at the same time. The more you look at this, its impracticability emerges.
Islam is about Justice and Equity to the sexes not equality. Equality does not translate to justice.

I was not saying that polyandry is a solution to it. I was only pointing out how it is easy to give thean a way out and not the woman. Actually polyandry would have to have its own peculiarities which may not have to go with the woman performing those Islam-given duties that u mentioned.
But looking at it even from the angle that Islam is for yesterday, today and tomorrow, you will realise that the paternity cannot be an issue at this era. And matriarchy could as well be a way of deteining lineage. (just giving other possibilities).

A2. The choice depends on the individual, most muslims are monogamous.
Polygyny remains voluntary but look at the relevance at the time of revelation. Muslim men got killed in battles and it encouraged muslim men to marry widows left. It solved an important social problem.
If widows today are given the opportunity to marry 'good' muslim men who can afford it (polygyny is expensive), it could solve some of the problems we face in many societies and war torn regions of the world.
In the black American community, 70% of children are born out of wedlock simply because there are fewer men. Most of the men are in jail. It saves a muslima from zina and a muslim society from corruption.

The black American community is not an Islamic one. Their problem would be better solved by gun control, poverty alleviation, and Education. Having larger familiea via polygyny as a way out will only provide more people for the justice system.

War-torn parts of the world, where nukes and missiles kill boten and women? We are not in a battle era anymore.

And tge world population even says that there are more men than qomen in the world.

tbaba1234: B. In Islam, societal benefit is.more important than the feelings of an individual.

But individuals make a society. The home front is the most important part of the society. Things that occur there reflect on the whole society.

That said, non of the messenger's (peace and blessogs be upon him) wives had a bad word to say about him after his death. They all spoke in glowing terms. Infact, they even spoke in glowing terms about themselves.

I didnt expect them to say bad things after His death but a lot was reflected in their behaviour.

There was a plan to challenge Aisha for being the favoured wife though. And there was the plan to say that the honey from Zainab's room had a bad smell..and Aisha broke someone else's plate....etc. And these women were the Mothers of the believers. What wouldn't a 2014 woman do? To make it seem like the psychological and mental edfects are bearable would be wrong. A lot of mental torture goes on, as I have heard of and seen.

Jealousy does not always translate to bad belle.

But I am talking of real time bad belle here. The wife of the prophet who was jew was insulted by Aisha for being jew. Imagine all the other possible insults a woman can receive from the co-wives especially if they consider her not up to their own standards.

There are many successful polygamous homes, it does not mean that the women did not get jealous. It just wasn't a destructive one.

But for every successful one, there are 99 unsuccessful ones. I know a man who is always boaating lying that his wives are on good terms and perfect he practices his polygyny whereas the first one tells people close to her how much she has been suffering in the marriage. I am not saying that ot cannot be good. Afterall, a favoured wife and maybe her Children as well, we say they have it good.

B2. Reconciliation would involve
having a conversation about an issue. I do not see how
having a second wife stops you from talking

Seriously?

tbaba1234: C. Trouble in polygamy is as a result of the adults, failing to act right. My dad is a product of a polygamous and the kids were alright. If not for resemblance, you might mistake the maternity of a few of them.

When there is troublr in monogamous homes, it affects kids as well. Given the high rate of divorce in monogamous homes, I am sure many children go through similar or even worse trauma.

It is not the same. Imagine being the child of the unfavoured wife. Even the peophet said that he had no control over his feelings for Aisha. Or imagine being the unfavoured wife.

If polygyny was to solve societal issues and the prophet knew what was best for us, I think it would simply have breed love nd a great level of understanding rather than jealousy, hurt and ill feelings that affect people throughout their lives.

I have seen people(even a rcent one just last week) who left Islam because of the traumatic childhood they had from polygyny.

Deols
The black American community is not an Islamic one. Their problem would be better solved by gun control, poverty alleviation, and Education. Having larger familiea via polygyny as a way out will only provide more people for the justice system.War-torn parts of the world, where nukes and missiles kill boten and women? We are not in a battle era anymore.And tge world population even says that there are more men than qomen in the world.

The problem already exists in the african american society. The kids will be born anyway so I do not know how it creates more people.

What it does is that, it creates a family structure which is the bedrock of a society. Boys who grow up with responsible father figures are less likely to end up in jail.

Fixing the other things will not increase the men in that society, you will still have most kids born out of wedlock.

Places like congo, where there are many women widowed, it does offer practical solutions.

These are examples in which polygyny can offer practical solutions.

One of the major reasons for more men in the world is the rate of female infanticide. Very common in places like China and India.

Sissie:

wa alaykum salam.



a2. yes i do think so. Abstinence is taking your mind of it completely and if you've never tried it you don't know what it actually feels like, you only hear or read, but when you get married and start enjoying it discovering you have a high libido and your partner cant keep up it becomes a REAL BIG problem, in reality there's a higher probability of a man having higher libido than his wife (no research to back it up) more men risk their LIFE to have sex, more women complain of being too tired to satisfy their husband, i read a research that men who assist with home chores get some from their wife more than men who don't. i know a couple who had that problem. he has the option of divorcing her or marrying another some Muslim men chose to marry another, while some non Muslims get girlfriends or mistresses.

b.

The thing is, if Islam asks these men to stick to one wife, they WILL. Men don't ever stick just because they are married to many women anyway. Discipline is what makes the difference. A man who has four wives can still have concubines if he wants to. We see it happen everyday.

Note that, I am thinking in relation to how these things have negative impact on the same society we claim they protect.

Look at another situation where one of the wives goes out to commit adultery, brings in HIv or other STIs and then infects the other wives through the husband. and I have heard of this.

Thanks bnty fulaman Sissie and Tbaba for your contributions. Let us look at something else.

2. Marriage to Minors.

The Qur'an says that the best of examples are in the prophet(S.A.W). He married a 9 yr old and Muslims from difrerent parts of the world follow his footsteps. The girls however end up having VVF as complications of childbirth. We dont av records of VVf from the time of the prophet though.

The prophet would have done the best of things. And the best of things should not have been harmful. Mythought though. I may be wrong.

The other problem is that many of the girls seen at Vvf centres are abandoned by the men who put them in that way only for those men to go for other minors to be put in the same situation again. Please help me see reason with this.

deols: Thanks bnty fulaman Sissie and Tbaba for your contributions. Let us look at something else.

2. Marriage to Minors.

The Qur'an says that the best of examples are in the prophet(S.A.W). He married a 9 yr old and Muslims from difrerent parts of the world follow his footsteps. The girls however end up having VVF as complications of childbirth. We dont av records of VVf from the time of the prophet though.

The prophet would have done the best of things. And the best of things should not have been harmful. Mythought though. I may be wrong.

The other problem is that many of the girls seen at Vvf centres are abandoned by the men who put them in that way only for those men to go for other minors to be put in the same situation again. Please help me see reason with this.

I don't believe in marriage to minors at all and think it's quite the disgusting act.

18 years old and above should be the age of consent. I don't even want to go into detail about how disgusting I find the act.

3. A man can replace his wives with other women(without any reason). This is different from divorce. He just decides he needs a new wife, maybe after they are four and goes ahead to divorce one and replace with another. A man in Ibadan is known for this and even Senator Yerima was said to have done it with one of his child brides.

I cant imagine being such a woman. As in, being replaced like an old rag

deols:
The thing is, if Islam asks these men to stick to one wife, they WILL. Men don't ever stick just because they are married to many women anyway. Discipline is what makes the difference. A man who has four wives can still have concubines if he wants to. We see it happen everyday.

Note that, I am thinking in relation to how these things have negative impact on the same society we claim they protect.

Look at another situation where one of the wives goes out to commit adultery, brings in HIv or other STIs and then infects the other wives through the husband. and I have heard of this.

the society has always been polygamous even before prophet Muhammad.
At bolded no they all wont, i would use christianity as an example because some believe in monogamy, not all the men stick to their wife, Adultery would happen at a worse rate, than we experience. yes some men have 4 wives and still have concubines but thats not the norm.
yes when practiced wrong it has negative impact but when practiced right it has positive impact, you dont throw the baby with the bath water.
even monogamy practiced wrongly has negative impact on this same society.

@ deols i no sabi how to argue o but i understand where you're coming frm.i will summarise wt an adage: ori bibe ko ni ogun ori fifo- (we will not severe d head because it aches.)
This cases you bring up are exceptions not d rule.They are divine and d fact dt people hav abused them doesn't give us liberty to proscribe them.To me,Islam stands on a tripod.Quran,wa sunah wa common sense. Anybody abusing female gender under d guise of 'permissibility' has his Lord to answer to.

deols: Thanks bnty fulaman Sissie and Tbaba for your contributions. Let us look at something else.

2. Marriage to Minors.

The Qur'an says that the best of examples are in the prophet(S.A.W). He married a 9 yr old and Muslims from difrerent parts of the world follow his footsteps. The girls however end up having VVF as complications of childbirth. We dont av records of VVf from the time of the prophet though.

The prophet would have done the best of things. And the best of things should not have been harmful. Mythought though. I may be wrong.

The other problem is that many of the girls seen at Vvf centres are abandoned by the men who put them in that way only for those men to go for other minors to be put in the same situation again. Please help me see reason with this.

We cant use today's civilization to judge the past.
he married a 9yr old but was it odd then? no it was quite the norm in the societies then until 19th-20th century women did not marry "late".
marriage in Islam the woman requires a woman's consent and what consent can a minor give? except for exceptional cases i don't see a woman less than 13 agreeing and giving their consent to be married.

Sissie:

at bolded i think thats a sin, i dont think its allowed

It is in the quran. When i find d verse, i will post it.

Sissie:

We cant use today's civilization to judge the past.
he married a 9yr old but was it odd then? no it was quite the norm in the societies then until 19th-20th century women did not marry "late".
marriage in Islam the woman requires a woman's consent and what consent can a minor give? except for exceptional cases i don't see a woman less than 13 agreeing and giving their consent to be married.

Read my first post. The Quran/ Islam and sunnah are for yesterday, today and tomorrow.

If we apply what u said about moving with time, then most aspects of Islam will not go well with this time. We might as wellbstop using the hijab and call it achaic while taking up the more 'modern' dress sense.

So I dont think we can excuse the marriage to minors as an 8th century thing. If the best examples are from the prophet, then the people marrying minors are doing what is expected of them- following the footsteps of the prophet.

Deols is just influenced by many negative stories and ofcourse her feminine side.

A person could hear many horror stories of marriage and decide, marriage is not for them. It is normal.

There are many happy polygamous homes and many sad monogamous homes.

I feel many muslims of this age practise, monogamy without taqwa. They know they can marry more than one but do not understand that it comes with a responsibility.

The average taqwa of the ummah is probably at an all time low.

Forget polygyny, many muslim men do not even treat their one wife right.

bntY: @ deols i no sabi how to argue o but i understand where you're coming frm.i will summarise wt an adage: ori bibe ko ni ogun ori fifo- (we will not severe d head because it aches.)
This cases you bring up are exceptions not d rule.They are divine and d fact dt people hav abused them doesn't give us liberty to proscribe them.To me,Islam stands on a tripod.Quran,wa sunah wa common sense. Anybody abusing female gender under d guise of 'permissibility' has his Lord to answer to.

But the rule brought about them nah. Just imagine that you are the disadvantaged one in any of the scenarios to fully understand. Many people are in these scenarios.

tbaba1234: Deols is just influenced by many negative stories and ofcourse her feminine side.

A person could hear many horror stories of marriage and decide, marriage is not for them. It is normal.

There are many happy polygamous homes and many sad monogamous homes.

I feel many muslims of this age practise, monogamy without taqwa. They know they can marry more than one but do not understand that it comes with a responsibility.

The average taqwa of the ummah is probably at an all time low.

Forget polygyny, many muslim men do not even treat their one wife right.

It is unfair to dismiss these as a feminine thing. I cried this afternoon.

I have struggled with these thoughts for a long time. I am scared for my faith. I have prayed for it to stay strong. I av asked my people at itikaf to pray for me.

I learnt Islam all my life. Most of the people I grew up with were Muslims but Islam didnt do much in shaping their lives for good. All I saw were women who could have made it good in their own right being subjected to bullshiit in the name of being submissive and being 'good Muslimahs'. Unfortunately, there is always a hadith to back it up. Some men even smile after saying their women-unfriendly nonsenses.


I have more to talk about o. You just be my guest please. I hope to find my bearing, again.

Sissie:

the society has always been polygamous even before prophet Muhammad.
At bolded no they all wont, i would use christianity as an example because some believe in monogamy, not all the men stick to their wife, Adultery would happen at a worse rate, than we experience. yes some men have 4 wives and still have concubines but thats not the norm.
yes when practiced wrong it has negative impact but when practiced right it has positive impact, you dont throw the baby with the bath water.
even monogamy practiced wrongly has negative impact on this same society.

I am talking of the kind of Muslim men I know. They would have stayed with those one wives.

Even the good Christian men av been able to stick to a woman.

bntY: @ deols i no sabi how to argue o but i understand where you're coming frm.i will summarise wt an adage: ori bibe ko ni ogun ori fifo- (we will not severe d head because it aches.)
This cases you bring up are exceptions not d rule.They are divine and d fact dt people hav abused them doesn't give us liberty to proscribe them.To me,Islam stands on a tripod.Quran,wa sunah wa common sense. Anybody abusing female gender under d guise of 'permissibility' has his Lord to answer to.

Look at people who married minors. They did it just as the prophet did but there are bad consequences. I am not actually only talking of people who did it wrong and is Y i keep giving examples with what happened with the prophet's wives.

Now imagine that your husband has two of you and the other one is his Aisha, the one whose laps he prefers


Salam onegig

deols:

It is unfair to dismiss these as a feminine thing. I cried this afternoon.

I have struggled with these thoughts for a long time. I am scared for my faith. I have prayed for it to stay strong. I av asked my people at itikaf to pray for me.

I learnt Islam all my life. Most of the people I grew up with were Muslims but Islam didnt do much in shaping their lives for good. All I saw were women who could have made it good in their own right being subjected to bullshiit in the name of being submissive and being 'good Muslimahs'. Unfortunately, there is always a hadith to back it up. Some men even smile after saying their women-unfriendly nonsenses.


I have more to talk about o. You just be my guest please. I hope to find my bearing, again.

Wow, sorry about that

Fulaman198:

Wow, sorry about that

It is okay. Thanks

deols:

Look at people who married minors. They did it just as the problem did but there are bad consequences. I am not actually only talking of people who did it wrong and is Y i keep giving examples with what happened with the prophet's wives.

Most people are followers and have been since the beginning of time, although God gave us brains to be creative and to do things our own way, most people just follow others like programmed robots.

'Just because so and so did this in the Qur'an, I will do it too. " People need to use the brain that God gave them. We don't have to follow or justify everything that is told to us like robots. That's why even now you question the right and wrong of the nature of these things. You are using your God-given brain to determine whether the actions these promiscuous men are doing is right or wrong. Nothing wrong with that.

I understand deols. And i'll be honest, i feel the same way some times too. My only recompense is that the ultimate reward is in the hereafter, waiting for us all in shaa Allah. Whether our men 'behave' or not.