I came across this on the internet, it's so funny. Thought I should share. Enjoy

MURPHY'S LAW OF COMBAT
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter
pilots take note.
5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of
telling you to slow down.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be
low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on
you.
8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air
strike.
9. If you are forward of your position, your
artillery will fall short.
10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than
yourself.
11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than
yourself.
12. Never forget that your weapon was made by
the lowest bidder.
13. If your attack is going really well, it's an
ambush.
14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their
main attack.
15. The enemy invariably attacks on two
occasions: a. When they're ready. b. When you're
not.
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a
foxhole.
20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling
back and regrouping.
21. The important things are always simple; the
simple are always hard.
22. The easy way is always mined.
23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy
other people to shoot at.
24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this
reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft
carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around
you.
26. If you are short of everything but the enemy,
you are in the combat zone.
27. When you have secured the area, make sure
the enemy knows it too.
28. Incoming fire has the right of way.
29. No combat ready unit has ever passed
inspection.
30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed
combat.
31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming
enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
33. Things which must be shipped together as a
set, aren't.
34. Things that must work together, can't be
carried to the field that way.
35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire
support.
36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad
weather, and especially during both).
37. Anything you do can get you killed, including
nothing.
38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and
you won't be able to get out.
39. Tracers work both ways.
40. If you take more than your fair share of
objectives, you will get more than your fair share
of objectives to take.
41. When both sides are convinced they're about
to lose, they're both right.
42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the
world is full of dangerous amateurs.
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
45. Weather ain't neutral.
46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is
pointed towards you.
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em
out on the ground.
48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go'.
49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the
rescue.
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch
someone.
54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
55. The one item you need is always in short
supply.
56. Interchangeable parts aren't.
57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the
one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've
got to think about.
58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
60. Combat will occur on the ground between two
adjoining maps.
61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can
the enemy.
62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when
you can lie down, never stay awake when you can
sleep.
63. The most dangerous thing in the world is a
Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
64. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the
battle plan.
65. Everything always works in your HQ,
everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
66. The enemy never watches until you make a
mistake.
67. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is
entirely too many.
68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet
for mud and rain.
69. The worse the weather, the more you are
required to be out in it.
70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never
miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't
hit the broad side of a barn.
71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will
have to send it away to be repaired.
72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely
proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
73. Field experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
74. No matter which way you have to march, its
always uphill.
75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry
can prove anything.
76. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
77. Air strikes always overshoot the target,
artillery always falls short.
78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you
just wrote down, the most important ones are
always illegible.
79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not
end up KIA or WIA.
80. The tough part about being an officer is that
the troops don't know what they want, but they
know for certain what they don't want.
81. To steal information from a person is called
plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy
is called gathering intelligence.
82. The weapon that usually jams when you need
it the most is the M60.
83. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in
the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
84. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo,
the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are
low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to
attack that night.
85. The newest and least experienced soldier will
usually win the Medal of Honor.
86. A Purple Heart just proves that were you
smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to
try it, and lucky enough to survive.
87. Murphy was a grunt.
88. Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals
49 cases.
89. Body count Math --> 3 guerrillas plus 1
probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in
action.
90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is
always one foot greater than your jumping range.
91. All-weather close air support doesn't work in
bad weather.
92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely
proportional to the smartness of its outfit and
appearance.
93. The crucial round is a dud.
94. Every command which can be misunderstood,
will be.
95. There is no such place as a convenient
foxhole.
96. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last
and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
97. If your positions are firmly set and you are
prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will
bypass you.
98. If your ambush is properly set, the enemy
won't walk into it.
99. If your flank march is going well, the enemy
expects you to outflank him.
100. Density of fire increases proportionally to the
curiousness of the target.
101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind
one.
102. The more stupid the leader is, the more
important missions he is ordered to carry out.
103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely
proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is
his deviousness and mischievousness).
104. There is always a way, and it usually
doesn't work.
105. Success occurs when no one is looking,
failure occurs when the General is watching.
106. The enemy never monitors your radio
frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured
channel.
107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-
fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the
farthest away, and your canteen always lands at
your feet.
108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the
field, it rains.
109. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have
nothing to do.
110. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight)
is inversely proportional to the distance to any
form of cover.
111. Walking point = sniper bait.
112. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where
you got tired of marching that day.
113. If only one solution can be found for a field
problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
114. Radios function perfectly until you need fire
support.
115. What gets you promoted from one rank gets
you killed in the next rank.
116. If orders can be misunderstood they will be.
117. Odd objects attract fire. You are odd.
118. Your mortar barrage will put exactly one
round on the intended target. That round will be a
dud.
119. Mine fields are not neutral.
120. The weight of your equipment is proportional
to the time you have been carrying it.
121. Things that must be together to work can
never be shipped together.
122. If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap.
123. The effective killing radius is greater than
the average soldier can throw it.
124. Professionals are predictable, its the
amateurs that are dangerous.
125. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet
for mud and rain.
126. No matter which way you have to march, its
always uphill.
127. The worse the weather, the more you are
required to be out in it.
128. When you have sufficient ammo the enemy
takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on
ammo the enemy attacks that night.
129. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too
large and too small.
130. The only time suppressive fire works is when
it is used on abandoned positions.
131. When a front line soldier overhears two
General Staff officers conferring, he has fallen
back too far.
132. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the
last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
133. If at first you don't succeed, then bomb
disposal probably isn't for you.
134. Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
135. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy,
look behind you.
136. If you find yourself in front of your platoon
they know something you don't.
137. The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is
inversely proportional to the distance to any form
of cover.
138. The more stupid the leader is, the more
important missions he is ordered to carry out.
139. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not
your friend.
140. All or any of the above combined.