DieeDiee:
You say:



But in the same breath you say:



Is that not what a slave does?

You are quoting me wrong...Do lowering one's head & being submissive mean slavery again?If only you ever witnessed slavery,then you will know this is far from it...

DieeDiee:
You say:



But in the same breath you say:



Is that not what a slave does?

so if I actually lower my head before an elderly person while greeting,it means I have been enslaved?

slimedge:
so if I actually lower my head before an elderly person while greeting,it means I have been enslaved?

Go back I added more to my reply to you. You cannot compare a relationship between a child and an elder to one between "partners" the nature and dynamics are different but the fact that you do reinforces what I keep saying that submission is a power relationship that reduces a woman to the status of a child. So you see your mother as a child compared to your father.

Your mother did you and your siblings a grave injustice by making you think a woman has the worth of a floor rug. You should be ashamed of yourself, that instead of standing up for the person who gave you birth, nursed you, cared for you and most probably showed you more compassion than your father you throw her to the lion's den and view her as being less than you and unworthy of development. I encourage you to take an hour of your time find a quite spot where you won't get interrupted and I want you to be HONEST with yourself. Try to think of the times your mother was TRULY HAPPY. Write them down. Then ask yourself was your father around? Was he the cause? Then ask yourself and answer honestly (or even ask her in private) if she loves or FEARS your father. Then ask yourself if that is the man you want to be? Is that the man you want your son to be or your sister to marry?

slimedge:
so if I actually lower my head before an elderly person while greeting,it means I have been enslaved?

A slave does bow down to the master, a slave is forced to worship a master. A slave has no power and does not speak back (as you said your mother does), a slave, because he/she is less worthy than a master does not look at the master in the eye (as you said your mother does)

slimedge:
...I don't remember saying a woman should be enslaved...I am only saying that they are losing it.They have absolutely derailed from the track of submission...A saying goes like this,"Two kings can't live in a palace."It is crystal clear that today's woman is gunning to overthrow the man and become the head of the family.Instead of her to lower her head and be submissive,she prefers it the other way round.Many of them have succeded in emersculating their men all in the name of feminist movements.

Let's try this another way that may be simpler and more understandable for you: why do you NEED a woman to submit to you?

slimedge:
I know this is going to illicit mixed reactions but it's undoubtedly the truth...Women of this new generation seem to be failing in all standards. Most especially being submissive to their men. Submission is far fetched...Our mothers were ready to worship the floors their men walked on in their time...They swallowed their pride and showed humility to a reasonable degree...You would see them on their knees when handing anything to their husbands as a sign of respect and as custom rightly demands. My mum would say,"I never talked back or looked at him in the face when he was angry." Nowadays,the reverse is the case..Who do we blame for this?Is it that our mothers have not taken out time to impart knowledge into them on how to be submissive before their men or it's the giant ego in them that has gotten the best of them?In Saudi Arabia,women are allowed to get little or no education in order to ward off vices of this kind...The ladies of today seem to have known too much and think that gives them the right to challenge their men at any given time...If you would ask me,I think I would rather blame it on female education...That's simply the truth...

Is a woman's ego more giant than the man who believes that another human being should prostrate to him? That his intelligence is greater just becuase of his anatomy? You do know I hope that 90% of the human DNA (black, white, chinese etc.) is EXACTLY the same? That the 10% is things like hair colour and curl, height etc. So essentially we are the same therefore how do you justify thinking you are above me?

You also advocate oppression. How can you deem women being denied education and by virtue of doing so deny them fair economic activity as good? Is that again not enslavement? Slavery does not mean being whipped everyday only. There are many forms of slavery and just as many means of executing it. For example, you are suffering from slavery of the mind. You are a parrot and slave of your society. Your mind has been enslaved for so long you can't think and judge for yourself you can only repeat what has been said. You do not even understand the concepts behind all you say. You have no true understanding. You do not even know or understand the definition of submission or the dynamics of it.

DieeDiee:


Go back I added more to my reply to you. You cannot compare a relationship between a child and an elder to one between "partners" the nature and dynamics are different but the fact that you do reinforces what I keep saying that submission is a power relationship that reduces a woman to the status of a child. So you see your mother as a child compared to your father.

Your mother did you and your siblings a grave injustice by making you think a woman has the worth of a floor rug. You should be ashamed of yourself, that instead of standing up for the person who gave you birth, nursed you, cared for you and most probably showed you more compassion than your father you throw her to the lion's den and view her as being less than you and unworthy of development. I encourage you to take an hour of your time find a quite spot where you won't get interrupted and I want you to be HONEST with yourself. Try to think of the times your mother was TRULY HAPPY. Write them down. Then ask yourself was your father around? Was he the cause? Then ask yourself and answer honestly (or even ask her in private) if she loves or FEARS your father. Then ask yourself if that is the man you want to be? Is that the man you want your son to be or your sister to marry?

...You have hit your punch lines. I applaud you for this immense contribution but skewed and misleading...I will never be a part of any initiative that supports dehumanising of a woman...You are just twisting everything I said my dear..Here is a bitter pill to swallow,I will never condone any act of hers(my sister) not being submissive to her husband. You seemed to have digressed from the crux this matter by letting sentiments becloud your judgements...Let me quickly draw some references from the Bible...

[Genesis 3:16 ]
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

[1 Timothy 2:11-12]
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

I guess seeing these verses must have sent down a couple of shivers down your spine...This isn't our making ...I am very sure you don't deem fit to counter what the Bible teaches...

slimedge:
...You have hit your punch lines. I applaud you for this immense contribution but skewed and misleading...I will never be a part of any initiative that supports dehumanising of a woman...You are just twisting everything I said my dear..Here is a bitter pill to swallow,I will never condone any act of hers(my sister) not being submissive to her husband. You seemed to have digressed from the crux this matter by letting sentiments becloud your judgements...Let me quickly draw some references from the Bible...

[Genesis 3:16 ]
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

[1 Timothy 2:11-12]
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

I guess seeing these verses must have sent down a couple of shivers down your spine...This isn't our making ...I am very sure you don't deem fit to counter what the Bible teaches...

Never digressed from anything. Told you to not use the bible because YOU said submission is CUSTOMARY. The bible belongs to the white man and no African culture has a Jesus, Yehova, Michael or David those aren't even our names. What is this crux you talk of? The fact that instead of standing by and supporting your point and answer my questions which are based on what YOU said, you choose to use big words to make it seem what you are saying is worthwhile, reach out to another continent's beliefs after stating it is your custom and you attack me proves YOU have absolutely no idea of what you are talking about and are just parroting.

Ps: it is year 2014, the bible has been changed again. It no longer encourages submissive behaviour and neither do pastors. I suggest you buy yourself a bible from this century and you catch up

Discussion with you closed.

DieeDiee:


First off, I appreciate your concern for me and you taking time to read my post and advise me - thank you sincerely. BUT you made jaw drop!!! You made points that deserve a whole new thread!!!

1) Humble and submissive. SUBMISSIVE?!?!? Wow, what a HEAVY word!!! Why should I be submissive? He's not my master he is just my partner. I have no problem allowing a man LEAD but he cannot LORD/MASTER over me. I am not a submissive kind of woman and I was never taught to be submissive. Women in my culture are not expected to be submissive or to prostrate to a man so sorry that is a foreign concept to me. Men are meant to be leaders of the home not lords or masters.

2) I don't understand why I keep being blamed. All the r/ship burden has been put on me and it seems you guys expect the woman to put in 350% effort and the man only 25% Yet, I'm supposed to allow this man to lord over me?

A) I've said over and over again in order to end the fights I used to just apologise but I now realize that was a mistake because it weakened my position and he never got the chance to see his errors and basically the burden of the r/ship fell on me. I have no problem admitting I'm wrong but I will never again apologise just to calm a man down.
B) If I am offended I will not hide it. What good is it to hide it? Aren't r/ships supposed to be about honesty? Hiding my offense is like ignoring a deep wound. The negative emotions will fester and resentment and hate will build up and a toxic r/ship will grow. I'm sorry but my emotional well-being is much more important to me than being in a r/ship. I'd much rather release my feelings and say my piece than allow poison to infect my soul. What good is there to be in a r/ship and be MISERABLE when I can be much more happier single?

3) Yes, I will give you the first part of your statement. It is not advisable for two people to boil at the same time and this does not only relate to a romantic r/ship. But the rest of your statement again, it seems you expect the woman to shoulder all the burden. I must work hard to please him and make sure he calms down? What about me? Why doesn't he try to keep me happy and calm? I matter too, don't I?

that was aunty nkem kept whining and remained single at 50

DieeDiee:


Is a woman's ego more giant than the man who believes that another human being should prostrate to him? That his intelligence is greater just becuase of his anatomy? You do know I hope that 90% of the human DNA (black, white, chinese etc.) is EXACTLY the same? That the 10% is things like hair colour and curl, height etc. So essentially we are the same therefore how do you justify thinking you are above me?

You also advocate oppression. How can you deem women being denied education and by virtue of doing so deny them fair economic activity as good? Is that again not enslavement? Slavery does not mean being whipped everyday only. There are many forms of slavery and just as many means of executing it. For example, you are suffering from slavery of the mind. You are a parrot and slave of your society. Your mind has been enslaved for so long you can't think and judge for yourself you can only repeat what has been said. You do not even understand the concepts behind all you say. You have no true understanding. You do not even know or understand the definition of submission or the dynamics of it.

...Hahaha...Relax your nerves...At times you people can just be narrow minded,I giggle at you..
Submissiveness ; Humility;Being humble,servility,meekness,obedience,complying,bowing down,conformity e.t.c
Google it,come back to me and prove me wrong.
Here is a piece of advice. Before you air your views any time,make sure you've done a thorough research prior to that time because you just goofed my dear...The word goof means making a mistake;blunder...Just in case you're misunderstanding it to be something else...
I just listed out all the synonyms of submissiveness.

Now,let me in no haste refer you to these Bible chapters and verses...

[1 Corinthians 11:3]
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

[Genesis 3:16 ]
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

[1 Timothy 2:11-12]
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

[Ephesians 5:22 ]
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord....

As long as he remains your head,he rules over you...He's not to enslave you but as a head,your well-being is his cardinal responsibility...Let his orders stand. Even if he goes wrong,approach him cap in hand...It is called **SUBMISSIVENESS**

DieeDiee:


Never digressed from anything. Told you to not use the bible because YOU said submission is CUSTOMARY. The bible belongs to the white man and no African culture has a Jesus, Yehova, Michael or David those aren't even our names. What is this crux you talk of? The fact that instead of standing by and supporting your point and answer my questions which are based on what YOU said, you choose to use big words to make it seem what you are saying is worthwhile, reach out to another continent's beliefs after stating it is your custom and you attack me proves YOU have absolutely no idea of what you are talking about and are just parroting.

Ps: it is year 2014, the bible has been changed again. It no longer encourages submissive behaviour and neither do pastors. I suggest you buy yourself a bible from this century and you catch up

Discussion with you closed.

...Una know won submit anything again abi? ...No wonder these days,the woman dictates to the man when he's to eat puff puff...Even at nights when he should be eating the natural puff puff that's designed for him,he's denied access...E no good o ....You said me am parroting abi?Come and pass that bus-stop that you usually pass again . You even said I was using big words to lure people into believing me.Na wa o....Dis gal don see me finish o...Well,let me go for breakfast& come back for this debate 'ROUND 2'

femikay149:


that was aunty nkem kept whining and remained single at 50

Single and HAPPY I'm sure. FYI marriage is not every single woman's goal. If I was chasing marriage I would be married right now - I've turned down 6 marriage proposals. There are men out dare who don't have low self-esteem and whose manhood is not dependent on them on how a woman treats them.

DieeDiee:


Single and HAPPY I'm sure. FYI marriage is not every single woman's goal. If I was chasing marriage I would be married right now - I've turned down 6 marriage proposals. There are men out dare who don't have low self-esteem and whose manhood is not dependent on them on how a woman treats them.

story for the gods yawns

DieeDiee:
You say:



But in the same breath you say:




Is that not what a slave does? Lower your head, hold your mouth and do as master says?


Previously, you also said:



Are the bold parts not slave actions? You also boldly declare as custom RIGHTLY demands. I ask by WHO'S decree is it right and please do not even think of using the bible. The bible came with the white man is not African culture and you said "...as custom rightly demands" therefore your statement itself excludes the bible...

Nope they are not slavery actions...Stop reading negative meanings to things o...The Bible's teachings and our customs here are equivalent.Except for a few things, that's if any exists at all..But first,I would like to know ur belief before I push further...From all indications,your argument here clearly portrays you that you don't accept the christain faith...Custom wise,you seem to have been misinformed...I will beat my chest and tell you this.No culture here in nigeria states that women shouldn't be submissive to their hubbies...Women are not lesser beings but they should not see themselves as being equal with the men....Even if you be female president sef,na u you go still enter kitchen serve your husband food.

On top wetin

femikay149:


story for the gods yawns

Uhhh... Was that supposed to sting? Because that was a very pathetic attempt. Kindergarten standard at best.

slimedge:
Nope they are not slavery actions...Stop reading negative meanings to things o...The Bible's teachings and our customs here are equivalent.Except for a few things, that's if any exists at all..But first,I would like to know ur belief before I push further...From all indications,your argument here clearly portrays you that you don't accept the christain faith...Custom wise,you seem to have been misinformed...I will beat my chest and tell you this.No culture here in nigeria states that women shouldn't be submissive to their hubbies...Women are not lesser beings but they should not see themselves as being equal with the men....Even if you be female president sef,na u you go still enter kitchen serve your husband food.

So you went and asked for an answer and they gave you a weak pathetic attempt to marry Western culture and African culture. If you had a thinking brain you would know there's nothing similar about Western culture and African culture. There's a saying in English: while you are busy pointing fingers there are three pointing back at you. So before you go around giving "advice" you would do well to go back to school and study English. Study s-l-o-w-l-y this time around and you might actually learn what words like servility and obedience mean and entail. I have not been misinformed by anything, English is just confusing you. At what point did I say Nigerian customs are against submission? When did I make any comment about Nigeria and its customs except ask you those questions? Why the hell would I talk about customs I know nothing about?!?!? Unlike you I don't jump to conclusion and I don't talk about things I don't have full knowledge of.

I have no further interest in talking to you.

DieeDiee:


So you went and asked for an answer and they gave you a weak pathetic attempt to marry Western culture and African culture. If you had a thinking brain you would know there's nothing similar about Western culture and African culture. There's a saying in English: while you are busy pointing fingers there are three pointing back at you. So before you go around giving "advice" you would do well to go back to school and study English. Study s-l-o-w-l-y this time around and you might actually learn what words like servility and obedience mean and entail. I have not been misinformed by anything, English is just confusing you. At what point did I say Nigerian customs are against submission? When did I make any comment about Nigeria and its customs except ask you those questions? Why the hell would I talk about customs I know nothing about?!?!? Unlike you I don't jump to conclusion and I don't talk about things I don't have full knowledge of.

I have no further interest in talking to you.

...The problem I have with you is that you are just too blind to the facts...With your level of education miss know all,I am disapponted if this is all you can offer...You don't have what it takes to advocate for the women...You are rude,insolent and dismissive and that somewhat piqued my interest ....I should be telling you to make a haste back to school and do your assignments properly...Your facts are so baseless,verbose and derailing..I rest my case...

slimedge:
...The problem I have with you is that you are just too blind to the facts...With your level of education miss know all,I am disapponted if this is all you can offer...You don't have what it takes to advocate for the women...You are rude,insolent and dismissive and that somewhat piqued my interest ....I should be telling you to make a haste back to school and do your assignments properly...Your facts are so baseless,verbose and derailing..I rest my case...

Rude? Only to those who started being rude to me.
Insolent? Respect is earned and those I've been disrespectful too are the one who started.
Dismissive? I'm not an idiot nor am I teacher. I neither have the patience for slow people nor do I bother with those who do not think independently. Even if we differ in opinion if you want to be my adversary show that you put some thought to your word and you are not just a puppet or parrot.
Verbose? Nigga please, you are one to talk. I hardly read what you wrote and anyway talking to you warranted me to break it down for you because concepts are too broad for you.

DieeDiee:


Rude? Only to those who started being rude to me.
Insolent? Respect is earned and those I've been disrespectful too are the one who started.
Dismissive? I'm not an idiot nor am I teacher. I neither have the patience for slow people nor do I bother with those who do not think independently. Even if we differ in opinion if you want to be my adversary show that you put some thought to your word and you are not just a puppet or parrot.
Verbose? Nigga please, you are one to talk. I hardly read what you wrote and anyway talking to you warranted me to break it down for you because concepts are too broad for you.

hahaha...A puppet?no...Do I sound like one who doesn't think independently?drunken talk ...Look,I hate to burst your balloons..You started like an elephant but ended like an ant.Don't take it personal,what sch did you attend?You talked about constructive English a while ago but now i can see your write up here begging to be saved...*Head shaking* You can do better... ...You are trying in your own little way though but I'll advice you put in a lot of elbow greese

slimedge:
hahaha...A puppet?no...Do I sound like one who doesn't think independently?drunken talk ...Look,I hate to burst your balloons..You started like an elephant but ended like an ant.Don't take it personal,what sch did you attend?You talked about constructive English a while ago but now i can see your write up here begging to be saved...*Head shaking* You can do better... ...You are trying in your own little way though but I'll advice you put in a lot of elbow greese

Sigh... Another one trying to sting with rubber... I've heard better come backs from a 5 year old

DieeDiee:


For the last time I don't speak dumb so you and I have nothing to talk about and the only female dog you know is your mother, the only woman in the whole entire world dumb enough to give birth to you. No wonder she was submissive and you are like this. There's not a single intelligence gene in your DNA.

God hav messy

Oh my. It is getting awefully hostile in here.

Can we debate, argue without resorting to name calling, hurling insults and disrepectful remarks. Its really in bad form.


Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. The goal is not change peoples mind. Seek to understand not to change other.

Wheres the damn moderstors.......

15 December 2014 at 11h00 Nigerian
time there will be a hash tag event.
Ankara Press will be celebrating the
launch by discussing “Your first love”,
using the hashtage #ankararomance. So,
they are inviting people to tweet their
memories of the first time they fell in
love.
*How old were you?
*Who did you fall in love with?
*How did you feel and how did it work
out?
*What was your favourite memory from
the experience?
Remember to use the hashtag
#ankararomance for each of your tweets
so that everyone can follow and join in
the conversation. The hashtag event will
run from 11am-1pm Nigeria-time.

Evina:
DieeDiee, apparently you don't known the meaning of submission, neither do you understand the concept.

I was amazed when you stated that to submit to a man means you have made him a Lord/master. Yet, you went ahead to call him a leader. Are you not meant to follow the lead of a leader? Is following not submission?

It really baffles me how many so called "independent" women disregard the authority of their man, but actually have no problem being floor mats to their male bosses at work.

Gurl, the duty of a wife is to submit to the man, just as the duty of the husband is to love the woman.

If you really love him, you will submit because that is how a man understands that you love him. And please, never make the mistake of marrying a man you cannot honor or respect (this is what submission entails).

word girl

DieeDiee:


Earth

See your heard like earth. #Mtchewwwwww