My Precious Children,

Tonight, I succumbed to peer pressure (exactly what I caution you NEVER to do) and went with a bunch of girlfriends to see Fifty Shades of Grey. I ignored the little voice in my head that implored me to just say “no!” because, after all, it’s just a silly movie, right? Well, I wish I had done as I always tell you to do and given that voice credit because it was right. The thing is, I’m also kind of glad I didn’t because now I have these words for you.

One day, in the not very distant future, I’m going to blink and gasp as I realise you’re suddenly old enough to see movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, yourselves. Of course, you or your friends may even decide that curiosity wins and risk sneaking a peek even earlier than that. Either way, I have to accept the hard fact that your innocent eyes and your uncorrupted minds are going to see this drivel sooner or later.

I am writing this so that when that day comes, you’ll recognise Fifty Shades of Grey for what it is, rather than what it pretends to be.

Let me begin by telling you what Fifty Shades of Grey is not.

It is not a love story.

It does a pretty convincing job of masquerading as one, for sure, but please believe me when I say that love doesn’t even have a cameo role in this plot.

It is also not a romantic fairy tale with a harmless bit of naughtiness sprinkled on top.

Romance is glaringly absent, in fact. As for harmless S&M, please understand that this screenplay’s message is the polar opposite of harmless. In this ‘harmless’ piece of fluff movie, a rich, handsome, experienced man uses his power to seduce and manipulate a young, innocent student into doing a lot of things she is extremely uncomfortable doing.

They are not equals. They are not partners. There is, in fact, no ‘they’ to speak of at all.

Rather, it’s a movie about a narcissistic man’s controlling and violent sexual desires and his sense of entitlement to use and abuse a vulnerable young woman’s body and mind as tools for his own gratification. It’s all about his needs, coupled with the arrogant expectation that she should comply, regardless of her discomfort, to please him.

I sat in the theatre and looked around me at hundreds of women, buying into this so-called ‘sexy love story’ and I felt sick. If an entire theatre of women three times your age couldn’t see how damaging this plot line is, how on earth are teenage girls and boys supposed to?

Please, my daughters, don’t allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool you into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. Please, my son, don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.

I hope, when the day comes that you’re grown up enough to be in a relationship, that you’ll understand that what goes on behind bedroom doors should always be pleasurable for both of you, regardless of your tastes. I hope you’ll understand that consent given under duress isn’t consent at all. I hope you’ll demand respect and that you’ll give respect in return.

Tonight, I walked out of the cinema feeling terrified and a little sad for your generation. If this is the movie that you base your ideals of love and romance on, then I need to make some things very clear and I hope you’re listening.

[b]If someone wants to be with you, turning up at your part-time job unannounced when you haven’t ever even discussed that you have one and acting possessive when a co-worker talks to you is not romantic. It’s creepy.

If you say you’re a virgin and he responds by violently deflowering you, that’s not love. That’s assault.

If he tracks your whereabouts when you’re out clubbing and takes you to his hotel when you’re too drunk to make a rational decision, then undresses you and puts you in his bed for the night, that’s not protective. It’s stalking. In fact, stalking is the least of what it is.

If he turns up inside your apartment uninvited, it’s not romantic. It’s breaking and entering.

If you tell him you’re not interested and you ask him to leave and he responds by tying you to your bed and having violent sex with you after you repeatedly say “no,” all the while threatening to do worse if you make a noise, it’s not passion. It’s rape.

If he sells your car and buys you a new one without your permission “to surprise you,” it’s not romantic. It’s theft and manipulation.

If he monitors your phone calls and threatens you with physical harm because another man calls you, he’s not in love with you. He’s abusing and controlling you.

If beating you with a leather strap until you cry is what gives him pleasure and he asks you to do it despite your distress because it turns him on and then plays the victim to explain it all away, there is no soundtrack in the world that should quiet the voice in your head that yells out that love and romance were never in the picture and they never will be.
[/b]
My children, this film was deeply disturbing to me, and I have life experience on my side. I shudder to think that you are going to grow up with stories like this to model relationships on and that you or the people you date will mistake this for ‘normal.’

Please, my precious children, know this: Love is gentle. Love never takes. Love does not demand. Love waits for consent. Love doesn’t need helicopter rides and expensive gifts. Love is enough.

When there’s love, the voice in your head doesn’t yell. It simply doesn’t have to.

My children, listen to me on this, if nothing else.

And, if you choose not to listen to me, then listen to the voice in your head.

With abundant love,

Mum


seun , farano, Ishilove

Hmmm

Seen is believing, this very long letter or do I even it a book will only bore him.

Let's just for a minute imagine Christian Grey as a 30 something guy with bad teeth, pimple scars, beer gut and a combover. He ties this girl up, whips her, tells her what to do, whom to talk to. Now, is this still romantic for you or do you see him as a pervert, stalker and a rapist? Let's be honest, the only reason this movie/book is romanticized by so many women is because the guy is hot and rich. With so much awesome literature out there, why would anyone waste their time reading this trash, life is too short for "Fifty shades of gray".- Anna

chymystique:
@OtunbaJega, this your write up is complete BULLSHIT! Go and read the complete triology first before coming to write this nonsense.. Almost all the points you listed are Lies so I dont even know were to start from to correct your insuinations. Yea, fifty is narcassitic, Sadistic and possessive. Ana gave her consent to be disvirgined and wtf told u she wasnt enjoyin it after all he never totured her to agree to his demands

Call it whatever you like, I didn't write that piece shordy!

BTW, I am a man and the masculine gender rarely shed tears as victims of rape, dominance and abuse

Nuff said... Enjoy!

thanks mum...i felt the same way after d book, tho if a woman want to be pleased in such ways....

chymystique:
@OtunbaJega, this your write up is complete BULLSHIT! Go and read the complete triology first before coming to write this nonsense.. Almost all the points you listed are Lies so I dont even know were to start from to correct your insuinations. Yea, fifty is narcassitic, Sadistic and possessive. Ana gave her consent to be disvirgined and wtf told u she wasnt enjoyin it after all he never totured her to agree to his demands

u ass..i read d books...why dont U, try dat with a real woman nd see if u, or she likes that...

chymystique:


I caNnot imagine fifty as you just potrayed above and you forgot to add Handsome! .. .. if you are exposed to erotic books you will realise sef that fifty was even KIND to ana and its not really that masochistic.. This is just a fantasy novel for God's sake

Children do not understand fiction. Its all real to them. Remember she wrote to her children to protect them from fiction and teach them what is right and wrong.

She didn't totally condemn the book or movie....... she is only trying to pass a message about the content

if you enjoy the BDSM fantasy, that's your bizness

chymystique:


You are misunderstanding the whole thing.. thats y its called BD$M and not normal vannilla sexual relationship.. it not by force and its consented between the two individuals

Consent indeed......... The message is clear. it's just her opinion

I hope, when the day comes that you’re grown up enough to be in a relationship, that you’ll understand that what goes on behind bedroom doors should always be pleasurable for both of you, regardless of your tastes. I hope you’ll understand that consent given under duress isn’t consent at all. I hope you’ll demand respect and that you’ll give respect in return.

Just about watching the movie. Would reply with my honest Judgement.

But really...I think you should resd the whole book,before u base ur judgements on Christian and the reason why he is like that...He had a very bad childhood and Elena was the only frnd he knew then,and if you read the part two,he actually fell in love with Ana and He did stuffs based on her terms,although He was very possessive,I know its strange but I think Ana started to like it too....
It can't be avoided to say that some guys are actually like Christian.... ...in the end,its just a fantasy book or novel....

Hmmmm

@OtunbaJega now i seriously have to watch this film. Wait let me to go to SDK blog and beg sef; someone was saying she could give out the free epub via email.

[size=20pt]Someone help me with the SDK line, m going nuts here![/size]

I can't believe people aren't seeing that pile of tripe for what it is . . Plain simple torture. I prefer to read than watch movies, so when it first came out, I downloaded a copy because of the noise about it, without reading a synopsis. I couldn't go beyond page 50 or so once I saw where the book was headed.
I don't know how people get turned on by pain.

As to the rich, handsome guy part you mentioned, OtunbaJega, it's only enjoyable of the guy in Q actually loves you and acts as such. Pain is not love.

Someone above said he had a bad childhood etc etc. How on earth does that make it right? The childhood should only be a factor when it's being considered whether he should go to jail or a mental institution.

Kimmo:

The childhood should only be a factor when it's been considered whether he should go to jail or a mental institution.

Lmao.

OtunbaJega:
Let's just for a minute imagine Christian Grey as a 30 something guy with bad teeth, pimple scars, beer gut and a combover. He ties this girl up, whips her, tells her what to do, whom to talk to. Now, is this still romantic for you or do you see him as a pervert, stalker and a rapist? Let's be honest, the only reason this movie/book is romanticized by so many women is because the guy is hot and rich. With so much awesome literature out there, why would anyone waste their time reading this trash, life is too short for "Fifty shades of gray".- Anna

At least he's handsome. In naija mist girls would do worse if his rich and looks like Popeye. They would alsoconsult their pastors and oracles in how to marry him while protecting him from their friends.



Not seen the book or movie though.

Parental control!!!!!!!!

chymystique:


You are misunderstanding the whole thing.. thats y its called BD$M and not normal vannilla sexual relationship.. it not by force and its consented between the two individuals



You cuntlips, there are some real women that likes and pratices it. You will never know till u get close to them.. its not like its written on their foreheads. thats one of the things that makes us human weird

do u want to be used like dat..or would u like ur daughter to be used like that...ofcourse some people like it...it doesnt need to be glorified as an ok thing to do

dont mind am boiedcorn bort i red the 3 books and not every talk you say happend. she sign aggrement.
it was one hell of a storey.

donsimo:



u ass..i read d books...why dont U, try dat with a real woman nd see if u, or she likes that...

Try what?

I read the book and didn't find it amazing or amusing at all.

See how chymystique dey defend this book sha

I will comment fully whn am done with the book buh so far i think it's interesting, romantic 2 an extent buh vile & extreme which i can't encourage any lady 2 do jst 4 sexual gratification



But i like the book it got me thinking