1. You know you are African when the party starts
by 4 pm and you arrive by 7 pm. 2. You know you are African if you had a maid or a
driver growing up. 3. You know you are African if your relatives all
have leather couches and gigantic framed paintings
of themselves or Jesus hanging in the living room. 4. You know you are African if you have a dish like
DSTV at home. 5. You know you are African if your parents woke
you up with a cane. 6. You know you are African if your parents
threaten to give you a dirty slap if you don’t
behave. 7. You know you are African if your the youngest
so you get the smallest meat in the pot. 8. You know you are African if you ask your
parents for a ride to school and they tell you how
they used to walked 5 miles barefooted to and
from school, so you can walk. 9. You know you are African if half the things
you’ve packed to travel are not yours. 10. You know you are African if everyone older
than you is ‘auntie’ or ‘uncle’. 11. You know you are African when you were a
young girl your parents expected you to know
how to cook or else no man will marry you. 12. You know you are African if as a girl your butt is
not big enough and you get very disappointed. 13. You know you are African if you get in serious
trouble if you forget to greet your parents first
thing in the morning “AHH, HAVE YOU SEEN ME THIS
MORNING?” 14. You know you are African if a kissing scene
comes on TV and your parents are like “EHHHEHHH,
SO THIS IS THE TYPE OF TING YOU WATCH EH?” 15. You know you are African if your parents get
angry at you when you cook for yourself and not
the whole family. 16. You know you are African if your parents yell
“YEEAHHHH” while on the phone, either something
really good or something really bad happened. 17. You know you are African if you were
reminded that your mates carrying first in class
don’t have two heads. 18. You know you are African if answering your
parents with “WHAT?” is like cursing. 19. You know you are African if your dad says
something like “COME HERE MY FRIEND”. 20. You know you are African if your brother
insults you with “God punish your father” 21. You know you are African if every adult African
you meet claims to have been top of their class. 22. You know you are African if every rich man
claims to have hawked bread and oranges before
making it big. 23. You know you are African if the house maid
goes to the public school while the children attend
the private schools. 24. You know you are African if going to the
University is not optional. 25. You know you are African if your mother has a
minor disagreement with her sister and they don’t
talk for 10 years. 26. You know you are African if you go to the
village only during Christmas or Easter periods. 27. You know you are African if you make cheaper
or free calls at night. 28. You know you are African if your whole nuclear
and extended family attended your graduation
ceremony. 29. You know you are African if telling your father
you are pregnant outside wedlock feels like a
death sentence. 30. You know you are African if if you have 3
phones with 3 different SIM cards. 31. You know you are African if if you are told you
have to “inherit” your elder brother or sister’s
clothes. 32. You know you are African when your parents
never admit having sex outside marriage. 33. You know you are African when your parents
hire a lesson teacher for each subject you are not
good at. 34. You know you are African if your parents
constantly find it difficult to realize that you are
grown 35. You know you are African if it’s perfectly okay
to show up to one’s house without notice and
expect to be fed. 36. You know you are African if every black cat is
possessed. 37. You know you are African if every barking dog
will bite you. 38. You know you are African if you were told as a
young girl that you will get pregnant if a boy
touches you.
39. You know you are African if your mum puts
you on the phone with everyone she speaks to even if you don’t know them.
40, You know you are African if you have a plastic
bucket in the bathroom. 41. You know you are African if blackouts are
nothing new to you.
42. You know you are African if your mother had a
shop in front of the house where she sold
provisions.
43. You know you are African if your parents call
you from the other side of the house to take their
plates to the kitchen.
44. You know you are African if guys toast you like
“hi, my name is Kennedy, I like you, can I have your
number?”
45. You know you are African if the food store is
locked by your parents. 46. You know you are African if your father got
more than two pieces of meat or the laps of the
chicken while you and your siblings eat mostly
chicken skin. 47. You know you are African if you have to show
or give your parents the money that your uncle or
auntie gave you. 48. You know you are African if your parents told
you to “eat and remain for your brother”. 49. You know you are African if you were forced to
attend the same church your parents attended or
labelled a rebel if you don’t. 50. You know you are African if your parents call
you by your full names only when you are in
trouble with them.
Add urz...

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Not at all...Some things on that list never happened to me yet I am Nigerian, African and a Black



PROUDLY