House boy or house maid?
By GIDEON OPARINDE [08076616717 tomgidops@yahoo.com]
Sunday, February 22, 2009

SADE OMOKUNGA

I’ll prefer a female because my children would be able to adapt to her and for security reasons. It’s easier to control a girl than a boy. Girls are more interested in domestic chores but for safer measures I think I would change them before they start thinking of something funny.



Omokunga







MRS. AYENI

[B]I will go for a male house servant, yes. He should be in between thirteen and sixteen years of age. I believe he wouldn’t cause a greater havoc like a female house servant.[/B]

Men are more responsible when it comes to things like this.

Having a female housemaid is like placing a public advert for your husband that he needs another wife in the home.

These girls of today are dangerous, lack morals and could do anything to push you out of your matrimonial home if they have the chance. I knew of a woman whose twenty three year old house maid sent packing from her matrimonial home; that is to say these girls need serious supervision and as the wife I wouldn’t give them assignments that will take them to my bed-room or have access to my husband because, it could lead to something else, especially when I’m not around.

OMOBOLANLE ENIGBOKAN

I would prefer a male house help to a female because they are stronger in house chores. Secondly, they don’t gossip like the girls would do. [B]For example there are two tribes who are well respected when it comes to diligence and hard work, they are the calabars and the ‘Egun’, from Badagry; these people are very strong and well cultured.[/B]

[B]Ladies would only snatch your husband from you, steal your belongings, maltreat your children, gossip and do everything to frustrate your effort to make her responsible and obedient in the home.[/B] Some of these female house helps have stolen their mistresses clothes, money before they eventually abscond from home.

MRS. OSONDU

Anyway, there’s no gender specification but on strict conditions,

If I am to go for a house girl, there’s no problem; what will happen is this,[B] I will make sure the girl is not above fourteen and at least ten years of age. But once the girl you employed is mature, I’m telling you authoritatively that you are toying with your marriage and family. For example, you know men are easily moved by what they see; they are weaker vessels when it comes to this, especially when we talk about young and good looking ladies of this generation.[/B] Do you know your house maid could tempt your husband to do what he never had in mind if you aren’t strict with your home? If you toy with your duties at home you will live to ever regret it in life.

On the other hand, nothing stops me from having a male house help. He must also be a young boy too. But as-soon-as he attains puberty age, I will pay him off, get him something better that would earn him a living and allow him plan his life. Mature male house helps are sometimes dangerous in the home. We have heard cases where they rape their master’s daughters, impregnate them, rape their mistress, cart away valuables in the home and even conniving with armed robbers to cause havoc and doing more worse like killing their masters. They are in fact more dangerous than the female counterparts.

MRS. BOLANLE OSHOFO

In my own opinion, I would go for a male house help because, in terms of house chores they are hardworking, more reliable than the female ones. You can count on them when you aren’t around, perhaps when you travel. They have more fear for their bosses and are truly more friendly to their bosses’ children than females who, only gossip and engage in treacherous acts with their mistresses’ husbands.

TOSIN OLORUNISOLA

[B]I would go for a young girl of below 10 years of age. This girl shouldn’t be from my tribe. Females, I believe could take care of the home, they have attributes of motherly care compared to the male counterparts. But one thing stands out, no matter how dutiful the girl is, she is restricted to washing my husband’s clothes or working in my room[/B]. A male house help stands a greater chance of corrupting my daughters, especially when I’m the busy type.

MRS. RAIMOT ABDULFATAH

I’d rather prefer a girl of age 10 to 12 because they could be controlled and sent on errand, [B]and I’ll replace her as-soon-as she attains age 16 and above.[/B] I’ll make sure I change her because it’s dangerous to keep a girl of such age at home without proper supervision, knowing fully well the nature of your job. I am sure no woman‘ll wants to lose her home to a cheap small girl or a house maid no matter how bad or irresponsible the man may be. No one can predict what they could do, they could be dangerous. (Both Boys and Girls) some of them are demon possessed, to the extent of bewitching one’s child. But I know it takes the grace of God to get the right ones.

MRS. AJIBOLA

As for me, I don’t need any, because if I should go for a boy, I have grown up girls at home, vise-versa. I don’t want anybody to corrupt my children in whatever way. I can do the house chores myself and if it is too much for me, my children will assist me.

BRIDGET

I will like a mature and responsible lady because she will be more industrious and able to take care of the children in my absence. I won’t take a young lady so that my husband will still remain mine.

VIVIAN ALORE

I don’t need a house maid neither a house boy. I wouldn’t pay for what eventually, could break my home all in the name of civilization or wanting to show off. Like-wise I wouldn’t keep any relation in my home, whether male or female, it is no much different. No, I will do all my house chores myself.

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/feb/22/510.html

MRS. RAIMOT ABDULFATAH

I’d rather prefer a girl of age 10 to 12 because they could be controlled and sent on errand, and[b] I’ll replace her as-soon-as she attains age 16 and above. I’ll make sure I change her because it’s dangerous to keep a girl of such age at home without proper supervision, knowing fully well the nature of your job.[/b] I am sure no woman‘ll wants to lose her home to a cheap small girl or a house maid no matter how bad or irresponsible the man may be. No one can predict what they could do, they could be dangerous. (Both Boys and Girls) some of them are demon possessed, to the extent of bewitching one’s child. But I know it takes the grace of God to get the right ones

Very disturbing attitude, I must say. Are they slaves that can be hired and kicked out any minute?

@ Topic

I will say none, gosh aren't we in the era where slavery should be abolished And some of them even had the guts to say they prefer children under the age of 10

shame shame shame to pple who use others as houseboy/girl. shame on you all!

that is why nigeria is not developing you all like the class system shame on you. DO IT YOURSELF. if you can't hire the right person.

STOP USING OTHERS AS HOUSE THIS OR THAT.

NONSENSE!!

busybody, thank you dear. they should be ashame of themselves!

*Hauwa*:

shame shame shame to pple who use others as houseboy/girl. shame on you all!

that is why nigeria is not developing you all like the class system shame on you. DO IT YOURSELF. if you can't hire the right person.

STOP USING OTHERS AS HOUSE THIS OR THAT.

NONSENSE!!

busybody, thank you dear. they should be ashame of themselves!

And the annoying part is that they wear it like a badge of honour too, bunch of mofos showing off and collecting house helps like they are collecting trophies It is sickening and an embarassment

Do you believe those children are actually bought from their parents And I wouldn't put it past them to kidnap children once the supply of parents willing to sell their off-springs dry up

Some of you are very wrong! House maid/house boy does not have to be bought/kidnap. My house girl is working with the full consent of her parent; she attends a school and she's like family to everyone in my family. Altghouh I've hire one maid before who brings in boyfriends to our house in our absence

And the annoying part is that they wear it like a badge of honour too, bunch of mofos showing off and collecting house helps like they are collecting trophies Undecided It is sickening and an embarassment

Thank you.

Some of you are very wrong! House maid/house boy does not have to be bought/kidnap. My house girl is working with the full consent of her parent; she attends a school and she's like family to everyone in my family. Altghouh I've hire one maid before who brings in boyfriends to our house in our absence

We know you didn't kidnap them but why enslave them?. Did you see the woman that boasts of snatching them off at a certain age and laying them off at 16. The least she could do is to finance her education. Others claim Eguns and Calabars are very good in slavery, wtf?

None!

SHAME ON THOSE WITH HOUSEGIRL HOUSEBOY

SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU! you know yourself.

if you use other human being and tag them househelp SHAME ON YOU.

Madam koko up there, we will appreciate it if you don't call her house maid

Madam koko up there, we will appreciate it if you don't call her house maid

What will she call her?; House mistress?

she got a name am sure. i just hate those tag pple use on them.

shame on those using other human being as domestic servant. SHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE 

Funmi, this thing just dey vex me soo much. in this age? sign of wealth is using other less privilege? shameeeeeeeeeeeee i say to them!

My worry is these young boys and girls you have as house helps who still attend school.  How the hell do they have any rest to do homework or play when theres heaps of clothes to wash.  Thousands of plates to wash, rooms to be swept other children to be looked after?

Its unfair.  Its better to get an adult who has no other job. Treat them well give them regular holidays and breaks and respect them.

And if husband and wife pulled their fat arses off the couch there shouldnt be too many jobs to do.  

If you have a large garden get someone who tends to it weekly.

If you have a large house employ a cleaner who will attend to the house once a week thorougly.

If you have too many children give some away hisssssss

All these horror stories of househelps sexually molesting children or husbands raping housegirls and wives doing all sorts of nonsense why in the hell would anyone want one?

Have we not treated this topic before?

LadyT:

If you have a large house employ a cleaner who will attend to the house once a week thorougly.

If you have too many children give some away hisssssss

true, that's what my aunty has, comes by weekly and leaves. Dnt need to be calling anyone maid. Very rude and embarrassing.

lmao @ the bolded.

If you have too many children give some away hisssssss

Wouldn't that be turning them into another woman's house boy or girl?. The solution is not to have too many kids. If you've made the mistake already, God's speed. I am not totally against house helps, just hire them professionally and deal with ones that are not minors. I don't see nothing wrong in hiring a 22 year old girl as a governess.

Funmi, right as long as she is called governess. must be an adult. not live with them at all! she must be paid, and allow to go home at the end of the day. their children should not spit on him/her and the couple should never hit them.

not my house girl, my house boy yadda yadda yeye couch potatoes! most of them have children. what is in the house sef that they can't take care of? cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the house, laundry? they don't even have lawns in nigeria sef so what is it?

bunch of lazy pple with lazy kids!!

Isn't this modern day slavery? you should all burn in hell for this!! Christian basterds! you even take your slaves to church, you all make me sick.

Busy_body:

@ Topic

I will say none, gosh aren't we in the era where slavery should be abolished And some of them even had the guts to say they prefer children under the age of 10

Nna, see am. Ignorance is never bliss!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-10441.0.html

Raymond88:

Isn't this modern day slavery? you should all burn in hell for this!! Christian basterds! you even take your slaves to church, you all make me sick.

Were you dropped at birth?

Mates, I don't believe in the House Girl and House Boy Phenomenon. To me , it is modern day slavery. I agree with Hauwa that those who make use of House boys and House Girls should be ashamed of themselves. I have seen how many of these kids were treated in the past in Nigeria. My parents employed housemaids when I was growing up in Lagos. Two of them turned out to be witches and they actually confessed when they were found out. Though my father didi not have any problem with this maids, my mother always had grudges and issues with them. She used harsh words on them and sometimes beat them up

Though some of the maids were lazy, a good number of them were hardworking. Yet my mum always said they were not working hard enough. Maybe it is the female 2 female thing sha, I can't say. My aunt in Ibadan also had a hardworking girl called Mary. The girl was generally good and up to the task, yet my Aunt had issues with her. There was one day that the Togolese girl went to buy some food stuff at the market. She was about 25 yrs then. She came back after an hour or two. My Aunt leapt on her and accused her of having lovers in town. I found my aunt's behaviour so strange. Anyway that's that.

Generally, house helps have not fared well in Nigeria. Couples should learn to do some of the chores themselves. Another idea could be the use of Housekeepers or Cleaners who would come and do the chores daily or weekly, but would not live with their employers. They would just get the job done and go away. House Boy or House Girl? I don't support any. Cheers.

None

For example there are two tribes who are well respected when it comes to diligence and hard work, they are the calabars and the ‘Egun’, from Badagry; these people are very strong and well cultured.

diligence here is a code word for submissive and only speak when speaking too. smh

boy and girl preference doesn't really matter to me, i would take anyone available and i see nothing wrong with having a house maid as long as they as equally treated with respect and work in a humane condition and they go to school too.

~Sissy~:

boy and girl preference doesn't really matter to me, i would take anyone available and i see nothing wrong with having a house maid as long as they as equally treated with respect and work in a humane condition and they go to school too.

even if they are underaged? We aren't talking about professional maids but young kids.

bawomolo:

even if they are underaged? We aren't talking about professional maids but young kids.

yes, i would still take them, mostly i would only need them so that my kids would see who to be staying, not for hard labor. and maltreatment is not my thing and would never be.

I do not need a house whatever,I will clean my own house!!

soory, 0 please dont say i am going off the topic, but why do women hire a house help to wash plate cloth,e.t.c, when you are in the house, what is your work only to warm your husband bed?, i dont understand

achoudeh:

soory, 0 please dont say i am going off the topic, but why do women hire a house help to wash plate cloth,e.t.c, when you are in the house, what is your work only to warm your husband bed?, i dont understand

Most women also work to bring income into the home or is that strange for you to understand?

Some of you have been sadly miseducated. If you can't find a western counterpart, you think its bad. Take some time and open your mind. Just because your parents abused the house help doesnt make househelps evil. Your parents are the ones with the problem.

The nigerian househelp system, without the abuse is superior to anything you have in the west. You get room, board and food free, and you get paid on top. You also get opportunity to finish at least high school. Free! All this in place of roaming the streets hawking stuff.

Challenge to Hauwa, LadyT and Raymond. Can you provide me a better real life example. Thanks in advance.

@kar, but do you think that is the best when you have your children to take care of,or dont you know that you children is your future for 2moro, if you give then a good training and not that of a house help, or boy

Oh please, there are better examples in the USA, than Naija. Even then, if some of the girls were to choose between working as a live in maid with paid board and lodgings in Nigeria and the USA, they will definitely go with the USA. The underlying reason is that by law, they are protected from abuse, and they would not have to work 24/7 without overtime. True, there are some families that cater to their maids adequately, but sincerely, how many of them exist back home? How many families who employ their maids pay them overtime or give them 2 days off per week to attend to their needs. Nna, as I have lived in the USA, I have come to the conclusion that house maid/houseboy is a modern day slavery. For once, I dont think I'd be able to (if my parents had died when I was young) to work seven days a week in a household, washing their clothes, sweeping, cooking, dusting and all those duties while the children are sitting around idly watching television or engaging in fun activities. Not fair at all, not fair. You simply cant justify slavery because of pittance you are providing them, like board and lodgings. You are in Houston, right? I guess you may have heard of an African in the east coast who was arrested by the cops for abusing their maid. Or, an Egyptian who was rescued from slavery in Los Angeles. So, these servitude is accepted in our society, to the West, it is synomynous with slavery.

Nna, lets start from the grassroot

i smell hypocrisy here.
i'll bet my last penny that some of you kicking against maids grew up with one, two or even more. i'll even take further by saying some of you still have them in your homes/houses. why dont you ask parents to send them back and get YOU to do their jobs?

I am in support of having a househelp as long as they are treated with respect. But if the kids and his/her madam are going to shout at the maid and treat her like sh1t(dont deny you didnt do this) then NO.