Marriage is a beautiful thing, and in this clime, it’s one of the biggest steps a person must take. It’s the norm; get married, have kids and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Great philosophy I must say. I love it too. But what of some “different” folks that have different ideas (like some who don’t want to marry at all, or some who want to marry but have no kids at all) as far as marriage et al is concerned. Anyways, I’m no authority in this field, so these wonderful and insightful words you are about to read aren’t mine. They are Dr. Akin Akinbajo’s : Convener of R n B (not rhythm and blues o) Ruth and Boaz – a singles and married monthly program that gives insight on relationship, love and all concerned with it. The sharp Ijebu boy doesn’t like to miss stuffs like this, I’ve been a fan for many months now. Below are excerpts from the August edition of the Singles and Married meeting:


Dr Akinbajo of Ruth n Boaz

MYTH #1: MARRIAGE IS THE FINAL SOLUTION TO LONELINESS

Many believe once they get married, they won’t ever be lonely again. Not at all. Being single doesn’t make you lonely. And being single should actually make you unique, separate and whole. If you are lonely as a single, then you will still remain lonely in marriage. Singles that are lost in God don’t have to worry about loneliness.

MYTH #2: SUCCESS IS LIMITED WITHOUT MARRIAGE

He who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtained FAVOUR from the Lord. But the favour in context isn’t what people think it is. It just means God approves of your decision to marry. Not that there is a special package for you as a result of your successful finding of a wife. Are there not singles that are and were successful? So, your success isn’t dependent on marriage. Even though your partner can add to it eventually, but success isn’t limited without marriage.

MYTH #3: MARRIAGE ENDS SEXUAL IMMORALITY

It’s wrongly believed too that once one gets married, sexual immorality will automatically end, given that you now have someone. But why do we have wives sleeping with drivers, workers, ogas et al, and husbands sleeping with housemaids? With marriage, your sexual vigour and drive increases, and if you couldn’t/can’t control it while still single, it wouldn’t be easy as a married person.

MYTH #4: MARRIAGE GIVES COMPLETENESS

Erroneously, everybody feels you are incomplete until you marry. Quick to refer to Adam’s missing ribs to backup the age-long myth. But a partner only complements you, not completes you. You are complete with or without marriage.

MYTH #5: THINGS AUTOMATICALLY SORT THEMSELVES OUT IN MARRIAGE

During courtship, issues like location after marriage, place of worship, in-laws’ visit, number of children et al will always arise for debate. Most times when no compromise is reached, a party is quick to discard further debates in belief that everything will automatically sort itself out after marriage. It’s a myth, as this never turns out to be so. All cards on table before marriage must be duly sorted out before you say “I do”. Auto-sort isn’t in marriage.

MYTH #6: “THERE IS A MR/MISS RIGHT”

This notion of a “Mr./Miss Right” is also dominant amongst many singles. Before you get a Mr right, are you right yourself? Make yourself right first, and you wouldn’t have to worry of a Mr Right.



MYTH #7: MARRIAGE CHANGES

We have that lady that keeps saying she knows her fiance will change once marriage sets in. Marriage doesn’t change people; who you are before and after marriage remains constant

Source: www.sharpijebuboy.com