bukatyne:

I need to understand the timeline....
When did she put to bed?

between February and March

ismart:
between February and March

So she put to bed about 7mths ago...

CS or not, she is fit enough to care and also mobile.

The DIL to be is not a good person and I doubt she will make a good wife in the long run. Nothing stops her from cooking once in a while for her MIL and visiting her. Your cousin sends money to her so what stops her from taking the woman's clothes to the dry cleaners bi-monthly?

I will even bet she doesn't work so why can't she shift base to the MIL's place awhile considering the fact the baby daddy is not around?

AND yes, if it was her mother, she will move mountains to ease her pain.

Also, it is NOT your place (you, MIL, fellow cousins etc.) to decide if she is good enough for your cousin or not aka 'kick' her out. I understand you are a very close knit family however bros, there are boundaries...

Well well... in our society, a man's care = money
a woman's care = chores

The cousin is 'playing' his part and it is expected the DIL plays her own part too.

And OP, your aunt still needs a maid.

Diary of an angry black man

The hustle is real. OP is probably a 45yr old man who is still eating from hand to mouth and is angry that the small girl is driving car even before marrying their money bank.

Girl had a surgery
MIL had a surgery

Girl still nursing a baby
MIL nursing no one but weak and old.

OP had no surgery
OP not nursing anyone .
OP is still young
OP couldn't arrange for a maid for his BLOOD relation who is sick

And he is here ranting like a $#/@ when he should be in the market cooking for his beloved aunty and helping their in law to be with her baby.

Wickedness in high places.

Nigerian men Change o.
Wickedness won't do you any good.

So she had d baby about 7-8months ago,so if she were working she wld have resumed. Let's just say d timeline isn't a strong excuse.

So let's say she isn't a 'hands - on' kind of person,mayb a fair excuse bt then she shouldn't have allowed your aunt take care of her when she had a baby, since she is not her mother in law @least she won't be indebted to her now. She should hv been with her family.

For your aunt,I truly understand cuz it actually sucks when u go out of ur way to help people and they wouldn't lift a finger to help you. Bt she has done her part which is very commendable.

Even if she didn't help her when she had a baby,or she never even had a baby,if ur intended 's loved one is sick,why can't u just be there for them? If u can't cook or clean,u can bring someone along to do so, dats just human kindness.

ismart:
I remember saying having a child for me isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house.

People attacked me without understanding why I made such statement.

Some 4 months ago my cousin had his first child. My aunt, being the mother in law to be made sure she (daughter in law to be) got the best care. She took care of the daughter in law to be, bathed her grandchild every morning, afternoon and night.

After a month plus, my aunt followed her son to his house and continued with the care for another 1 month plus.

However due to an accident she had in 2012, she had to undergo proper surgery to straighten her leg because after the accident, no surgery was done but just traditional treament which didn't do much as the leg, a few CM above the ankle was bent and you can see the protruding bone.

Being hardworking woman, she did a lot of works with the leg.

I travelled to Lagos and when I returned, I was informed that she was in the hospital. I had to move to her sisters house same day so I can check on her.

On gettting there I saw her on the hospital bed. Few weeks later she was discharged from hospital.

This daughter in law to be was rarely around. When she comes, she would barely spend up to an hour before leaving. She has NEVER washed my aunt's clothes. Through out the 2 months that my aunt was discharged from hospital, the girl NEVER bought anything for my aunt as a mother in law to her. She NEVER stayed to take care of her. Absolutely NOTHING can be accounted for as a gain she contributes to the family system.

My aunt's only daughter died early 2000s and this girl could have easily played that role.

Last time she visited I was told she was around I didn't bother to come out to see her cos I was just to displeased.

While we were away, robber buggled into my aunt's house. This girl came, she couldn't arrange her mother in law's clothes nor sweep the room she occupied when she delivered. The best she could do was brought out her iphone, one my cousin bought, and started taking pictures of the damages and calling my cousin on phone to even magnify and exaggerate what happened.

In that two months I have been the one who would lift my aunt, get her crunches, wash her clothes, follow her to the hospital etc.

Today my aunt finally returned to her home after doctor told her that she can start putting the leg on ground while she walks. She had to call her sister's daughter to come and cook for her. Though I had wanted to do the cooking.


While I was with her in her room. She told me that the daughter in law was feeling pompous. I said to her that I have noticed but wondered why she kept quiet all along. She said she was just taking her time. So I told her what I expected of her daughter in law to be and that this problem had better be nipped in the bud before it's too late. I asked her what if she was quite older than her current age such that she can't move around. We talked more at length and she told me her mind. She also told me that she called the girl and informed her that she has arrived home. The girl didn't even bother to ask about cooking or gave any hint if she would come.

The son is currently out of the country. He bought this girl a car, took her South Africa and Dubai on vacation.

My aunt told me that while I was away at one time, they were making plans for introduction. This girl, though not yet strong cos of child delivery, made a decision to start business. My aunt suggested that wait for you to heal and you know you had this child via CS. She flaired up and I learned earlier she said what right does my aunt have to dictate for her. There was a serious quarel between her and my cousin.

My aunt has resolved that once her son comes back, they will discuss and possibly put a stop to her madness.

I have seen this game played over and over again. A girl brings out her real colours after a child or after marriage. That's why I said to myself, a child isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house but her manners.

This girl in question is completely nothing to write home about...

ismart:
between February and March

Nna Mehn.

This Op can lie sha.
From four months ago. Now it's seven months.

Wicked people N'a dia way be dat

Always telling more lies to cover their Wickedness.

Chillisauce:




Nna Mehn.

This Op can lie sha.
From four months ago. Now it's seven months.

Wicked people N'a dia way be dat

Always telling more lies to cover their Wickedness.

Me saying some should tell you that it's not specific. I said between february and March should explain that it was early this year.

I had to do proper revision to when I went to Lagos and came back. It was around that time she put to bed and I was in Lagos in January and came back around February.

Now if it was 4 months, could she have been able to be driving in 4 months? That should tell you I didn't get the date right initially.

ismart:
Me saying some should tell you that it's not specific. I said between february and March should explain that it was early this year.

I had to do proper revision to when I went to Lagos and came back. It was around that time she put to bed and I was in Lagos in January and came back around February.

Now if it was 4 months, could she have been able to be driving in 4 months? That should tell you I didn't get the date right initially.

I catch your lie, you then telling another one.
You all centered on driving shows how the car dey pepper your body.
Pls stop calculating and go get help for your aunt and your inlaw to be.

Able bodied man just siddon dey plot scheme with a s8ck woman who while be getting her rest.

Btw, where is your aunt husband in all these

Chillisauce:
Diary of an angry black man

The hustle is real. OP is probably a 45yr old man who is still eating from hand to mouth and is angry that the small girl is driving car even before marrying their money bank.

Girl had a surgery
MIL had a surgery

Girl still nursing a baby
MIL nursing no one but weak and old.

OP had no surgery
OP not nursing anyone .
OP is still young
OP couldn't arrange for a maid for his BLOOD relation who is sick

And he is here ranting like a $#/@ when he should be in the market cooking for his beloved aunty and helping their in law to be with her baby.

Wickedness in high places.

Nigerian men Change o.
Wickedness won't do you any good.

you didn't see where I said I did the washing of her clothes, I lift her up when she needs to change position to sit on a chair. I make her bed and more. I would do more because she is a mother to me.

So in your wasp reasoning, you will meet your mother in law in such condition and you won't do ANYTHING to help. Only come and go with your bag, right?

Anyway, it further gives me reasons to be very careful of current set of Nigerian women!

ismart:
you didn't see where I said I did the washing of her clothes, I lift her up when she needs to change position to sit on a chair. I make her bed and more. I would do more because she is a mother to me.

So in your wasp reasoning, you will meet your mother in law in such condition and you won't do ANYTHING to help. Only come and go with your bag, right?

Anyway, it further gives me reasons to be very careful of current set of Nigerian women!

Go and help your aunt dear and also the nursing mother with CS .
You can remain single , better sef . Make you no kill another person daughter with this your attitude .

Chillisauce:


I catch your lie, you then telling another one.
You all centered on driving shows how the car dey pepper your body.
Pls stop calculating and go get help for your aunt and your inlaw to be.

Able bodied man just siddon dey plot scheme with a s8ck woman who while be getting her rest.

Btw, where is your aunt husband in all these

The husband is very much around...and he does his part.

It's so pathetic that you see no reason in helping with whatever way. You are a woman, you will be a mother, you will grow old one day!

Chillisauce:


Go and help your aunt dear and also the nursing mother with CS .
You can remain single , better sef . Make you no kill another person daughter with this your attitude .

well madam, nobody is killing anyone.

Anyway, I believe you women on here have made your point which is good.

Adios!

@ ismart. Why not stop justifying whatever you post. If it's true, fine! If it's not, it doesn't take a strand out of anyone's hair well maybe urs.

ismart:
The husband is very much around...and he does his part.

It's so pathetic that you see no reason in helping with whatever way. You are a woman, you will be a mother, you will grow old one day!

So her husband is even alive and she is here winning and plotting downfall on another person.
Is her husband a handicapped?
I'm a mother and I know what's like nursing a child. Heck I didn't even have a CS.

What will my husband be doing when I fall sick at old age? Esp if he is still able.

That's why it's better not to marry old man during your prime. Now she needs help she is solely depending on an In law to be.

ismart:
well madam, nobody is killing anyone.

Anyway, I believe you women on here have made your point which is good.

Adios!

No adios me jor. enter market and help these women recovering from sickness.

Have you even bought diapers for the baby sef.

Even if na baby powder sef.
Chai
N'a wah for you o.
You no only wicked. You Come stingy on top.
Your case N'a deliverance for mountain of fire and brimstone

Stories are best heard from both parties but since we only have one side, I guess we just have to work with it.

If everything written here is true, then the DiL no nice gan, haba!.

ismart:
she is not involved... SHE ISN'T. Her visit is more like a force so as not seem like no human.

How is she involved? You tell me.

I knew people, especially the ladies, wouldn't believe it because the story is just too heavy on the said girl.

Before child birth has she ever done anything worthwhile for her MIL? Is it her clothes she washed, did she ever cooked? Etc NO!

Sometimes you guys need to put your own mother in the picture.

In life I believe we all need to SHOW we have a heart. I don't need to have millions before I can help you. There are ways I can show you I care, countless ways.

Can same be said about this girl? NO!

Okay let's take just yesterday as a case study.

MIL calls DIL and informed her she has arrived home. A sensible girl could have said okay mummy... Who will cook for you. Okay i will be there by so and so time to check on you. Absolutely nothing! And I can bet you that she wont show up in more than a week! Yes, she is that predictable already.

Would she do same to her own mother?

She should help in little ways that's all I am saying. She is not helping at all and that's the problem.

I really find what you have said hard to believe because you said they had a good relationship during omugwo. . So why the sudden change? Why has she become such a bad person now?

If what you said is true as regards not checking on her MIL when there's no dispute btw them, then she isn't nice at al.... But I think you should take it easy.
Have you communicated to her? Maybe she needs you people to point out to what she should do...

All d best...

May God deliver single ladies from families that will want you to die pleasing them.Its bad that the DIL didn't reciprocate the love.she erred there o,esp as the aunt took care of her after delivery.But again,maybe she is not a very strong person.And op thank God she is not a pretender.I like the fact she is not overdoing things just to make you guys like her.That way,everybody knows their boundaries.Please don't scatter your cousin's marriage.He likes her like that.One man's meat is another man's poison.You shouldn't be the one to sow any seed of discord into their relationship,simply because she didn't care for your aunt.When I visited my fiance's family..The mum was like can I pound yam..I said NO!If na that one wan make her tell her stepson not to marry me,no wahala.Despite that,she took very good care of me.I cannot do good face and then fall sick when I get home.My man even told me not to over work myself there.Abeg,leave the girl.Your cousin likes other things abt her.If she is lazy,they wil get a maid.

MarvellousGod:
I really find what you have said hard to believe because you said they had a good relationship during omugwo. . So why the sudden change? Why has she become such a bad person now?

If what you said is true as regards not checking on her MIL when there's no dispute btw them, then she isn't nice at al.... But I think you should take it easy.
Have you communicated to her? Maybe she needs you people to point out to what she should do...

All d best...

It's okay. I believe I have done my best for my aunt and she knows that.

For the sake of the child involved like so many people pointed out, one should call her talk to her.

But based on what I have seen in life, I doubt this girl will change. I could have said something more but like it's already, people will still feel I am hating on the girl. Which isn't the case.

Anyway, I am done already. I will leave them to sort theirselve. I know what I want from my future wife and I stand by it. I say so because I know I go extral miles for people around me. I know I can't treat my own MIL like she is an alien. There are things I can do to show I care.

Relationship shouldn't be one sided.

queenfav:
May God deliver single ladies from families that will want you to die pleasing them.Its bad that the DIL didn't reciprocate the love.she erred there o,esp as the aunt took care of her after delivery.But again,maybe she is not a very strong person.And op thank God she is not a pretender.I like the fact she is not overdoing things just to make you guys like her.That way,everybody knows their boundaries.Please don't scatter your cousin's marriage.He likes her like that.One man's meat is another man's poison.You shouldn't be the one to sow any seed of discord into their relationship,simply because she didn't care for your aunt.When I visited my fiance's family..The mum was like can I pound yam..I said NO!If na that one wan make her tell her stepson not to marry me,no wahala.Despite that,she took very good care of me.I cannot do good face and then fall sick when I get home.My man even told me not to over work myself there.Abeg,leave the girl.Your cousin likes other things abt her.If she is lazy,they wil get a maid.

quite matured. Thanks. Even though you didn't state it clearly, I am sure you did help in other ways aside pounding. It's very obvious from your writeup. That shows you care and have good background .

Yes, it's no longer my business. I will just leave it at that. If it works out for them good. If it doesn't good.

Besides, I never talked about this till yesterday. I just kept my observations to myself.

We all have our rewards for deeds of our ventures.

Chillisauce:

No adios me jor. enter market and help these women recovering from sickness.
Have you even bought diapers for the baby sef.
Even if na baby powder sef. Chai N'a wah for you o. You no only wicked. You Come stingy on top. Your case N'a deliverance for mountain of fire and brimstone

Okay.

Miami11:
Poster you seem to know everything that goes on your cousins house,
Do you even have a job,
Do you have your own house, hobbies, maybe? How do you know people's deep affairs like this.

Ahhh, so you no know say OP na GBEFFF, he said she is not strong for business, but they feel she is strong enough to do HOUSEGIRL for them.

ismart:
may God bless you my brother. May your wife be a blessing your home. May you live to enjoy your children.

Isn't it sickening what all the women all here are talking? Giving flimsy excuses.

My grouse is that the girl in question didn't DO ANYTHING. this is mother in law that took care of her, bathed her etc.

But same girl have energy to drive car around abi?

What will take out of her do cooking or washing clothes... What?

I know some mother in law that make their daughter in law see hell. Here she is blessed with good one but totally messed it up.

You can't even count one benefit she adds to the family. One dey count pikin like say pikin na the only contribution a woman should add to a family.


Just look at the kind of women of this current generation.

No non of them can at least say ah this girl sef no try.

God forbid I meet any of this kind of women. A woman that has no value is not worth my time. I say it again! Hate it if you wish.

I don't blame the girl much. Na my cousin I blame.

WTF... I am pissed man!

Amen.
Its a big shame my brother. Women are destroying themselves.

ismart:
I swear, I did not add nor subtract from what I explained. I wish I had known, I would have made a voice not of my convo with my aunt.

The girl does nothing! absolutely nothing. she just sit and receive money from my cousin. My cousin is trying t be a good guy and take good care of her but you sef reason am na... I know you find it hard to believe.; i didn't decide to make vow of not giving a woman complete right even if she had 100 kids for me for nothing... what I mean is that I can not be manipulated.

My aunt is an extremely good woman and a mother.


Part of the reason why I had to stay with her for that 2 months was because despite the injury she had, she followed me to go see where her sister(my monther) was buried. I even told her to rest awhile. she said no that we should continue. I was touched that day I swear.

You said she isn't strong enough to start a Business, but you expect her to have strenght to do house chores ba? Go get a house help for aunty PERIOD.

cococandy:
Meanwhile your cousin should get help for his mom instead as of expecting a new mom to be available to wait on her hand and foot.
Like you said, she's not strong enough on account of the CS to start a business. How come she's strong enough to do other things?

This one una dey count wetin the man do for am. SMH. Such nosiness. Nawa.

Granted that she should show more compassion and concern but who your cousin chooses to marry is his business and you have no say trying to put asunder between them.
All in all, you sound very derogatory towards the lady.
Na your kind sabi meddle in people's affairs until things become too bad to salvage.
Shebi your next plan is to convince your cousin to break up with her so that that kid becomes fatherless or motherless depending on gets the kid. Will you be the father or the mother when they part ways because of you?

Una mind una business o. Nosy marriage spoiling relatives.

I wish your aunt quick recovery.

I know say u nor dey disappoint.

ismart:
It's okay. I believe I have done my best for my aunt and she knows that.

For the sake of the child involved like so many people pointed out, one should call her talk to her.

But based on what I have seen in life, I doubt this girl will change. I could have said something more but like it's already, people will still feel I am hating on the girl. Which isn't the case.

Anyway, I am done already. I will leave them to sort theirselve. I know what I want from my future wife and I stand by it. I say so because I know I go extral miles for people around me. I know I can't treat my own MIL like she is an alien. There are things I can do to show I care.

Relationship shouldn't be one sided.

Exactly! Someone should call her and talk to her like a daughter of the house. Don't assume she knows everything you expect of her. Families are different, some families are very independent of each other and only help when called upon to do so. If anyone needs her help, pls call her and ask her.

The fact that her husband abi na fiancé is also not around means there is nobody to guide her on how you guys want her to behave.

My husband helped me a lot to familiarize with his family and vice versa.

Kimoni:
hilarious

OP, has anybody spoken to the lady at any point in time to ask why she has not been helping out as expected? Do you realise she might not even be aware that you guys are not happy with her? Remember she is coming from a different family and not familiar with how you guys run your things...

It is this break down in communication that turn MILs against their DILs. Expectations needs to be expressly communicated and not assumed.

intelligent kimoni

Chillisauce:
Diary of an angry black man

The hustle is real. OP is probably a 45yr old man who is still eating from hand to mouth and is angry that the small girl is driving car even before marrying their money bank.

Girl had a surgery
MIL had a surgery

Girl still nursing a baby
MIL nursing no one but weak and old.

OP had no surgery
OP not nursing anyone .
OP is still young
OP couldn't arrange for a maid for his BLOOD relation who is sick

And he is here ranting like a $#/@ when he should be in the market cooking for his beloved aunty and helping their in law to be with her baby.

Wickedness in high places.

Nigerian men Change o.
Wickedness won't do you any good.

You 've said it all. He's probably Jobless, he should have just been the Maid for his Aunt for the time being.

Chillisauce:




Nna Mehn.

This Op can lie sha.
From four months ago. Now it's seven months.

Wicked people N'a dia way be dat

Always telling more lies to cover their Wickedness.

I swear this is SMARTEST post on this thread. The OP is a SADIST and a LIAR.

ismart:
Me saying some should tell you that it's not specific. I said between february and March should explain that it was early this year.

I had to do proper revision to when I went to Lagos and came back. It was around that time she put to bed and I was in Lagos in January and came back around February.

Now if it was 4 months, could she have been able to be driving in 4 months? That should tell you I didn't get the date right initially.

Guy Forget, you are a LIAR and a SADIST. If you don't like the girls Face, go and HUG Transformer.

[quote author=goldenruby post=38089403]This girl is still weak to start a business as your aunt said earlier, why is she worried or 'bittered' that she can't help her cook, wash and bla bla. @Op I totally understand your point but you're totally Wrong. All these are not in any way a medium to portray ones good or bad act. We all came from different homes.
Make I tell you one weird thing (to people that might see it as) when my Mum comes to my house, She washes my beddings,clothes,fetch water for me from the well if the water tap stops running,run my bath, Make my meals. I no sick o, na just small laziness o(wetin you go Call that one). And she'd jokingly ask me if I can try this at my inlaws when I eventually get married. . Truth is can Y'all stop seeing this babe as 'a plant in the ecosystem' and see her like a daughter?

My sister, you have said I all. My mum does all that for me and I always have to beg her to stop. The problem with many people is that they don't know how to give. They don't know how to love another person selflessly. My mum is always happy to do this and does not expect anything in return. She is simply happy to be able to care for her "child" however she can.

Many people give with insincerity. They stretch forth one hand and both legs and an arm are peaking at the corner trying to receive all that has been given out and more. Now that is not love, that is BANKING.

goodgate:
You 've said it all. He's probably Jobless, he should have just been the Maid for his Aunt for the time being.

My dear, 45yr old nigerian man wey never marry Na him you say make him do housegirl work
You wan OP to swear for you ni.

The fiancee of his cousin. Cousin oh. Not even direct sibling .
N'a this kin people dey pursue widows from their husbands house if they happen to loose their husband to death. They will chase and sell everything living the fate of mother and children bleak


This OP mind no good at all at all.

See him mouth like my cousin will not marry her.

Chillisauce:


My dear, 45yr old nigerian man wey never marry Na him you say make him do housegirl work
You wan OP to swear for you ni.

The fiancee of his cousin. Cousin oh. Not even direct sibling .
N'a this kin people dey pursue widows from their husbands house if they happen to loose their husband to death. They will chase and sale everything living the fate of mother and children bleak


This OP mind no good at all at all.

See him mouth like my cousin will not marry her.

His posts depicts Pride,Arrogance and WICKEDNESS. He is already feeling like a demi-god. I pity the Lady sha.