Been a while..... Guys Guess am back. Please don't mind the typo as i type directly from my phone and on the go. Although forgive my ignorance of adopting a professional writing style. I have passion for writing that i why i am doing this story.

I sincerely apologize for not completing the drummer boy story (Na God butter my bread that time) and I promise to do a better story here.
Posting will be twice or once daily due to the nature of my job and i promise to always do my best to post here. The story is a comedy base story and i promise to make you guys laugh, and while laughing please try and get the message the story will pass across.

Growing up was fun most especially if you live amongst people that makes it fun. After my completion of secondary school education in the late “90s” I immediately gained admission into one of Nigerian’s prestigious universities in the eastern part of the country. At this era, the gap between the poor and the rich was so long, that cannot be measured with the neck of an ostrich. When I was offered admission and I got to the school, I immediately settled for off campus at the university because I couldn't imagine myself staying in the hostel. My compound was a very funny and lively one, which was located in a rural area, and it was the interior part of the area. The different student lodges were surrounded with lots of forest (not tick ones though) but there were distance from one lodge to the other, as you will have to pass through some bush part. Electricity was constant in that area and there was no much different from the environment with where I was coming from.

I had paid for an empty room in a compound of 10rooms and directly opposite us was the landlords house which I call house of fun and mischief. He then was in his early 50s and he has 6 mischievous children and a wife. He is a civil servant while the wife was a teacher in the local school. She has 4 daughters and 2 sons. The oldest was about 19years and she was/is a very pretty damsel and she was the highest controversy in our compound. The second child was about 17 and he was very stubborn, the third was the brain behind all things that happened in the house and he was 14. Then the remaining, were triplet and partners in crime, they were about 12years then. As the story progress I will tell you more about the family. My room was first room in the compound and in no distant time I became the darling of the compound and the landlord as I was hard working, next and very meticulous with what so ever I do. The triplet were also fond of me as they love coming into my room always and I really enjoyed their company except for sometimes they can be so troublesome, mischievous and could actually spoil ones arrangement.

Barely a week into my living in the compound I had become friend with everybody living in the compound both senior students and my sets. The compound was a funny one and lively one also. I had been thought the dos and don’ts of the compound and one of the major DON’TS of the compound is not going to toilet very early in the morning rather we do what we call shut put. And it has to be very early in the morning. I didn't know that very soon I will get into trouble and also witness the fun of the compound. I had an early morning lecture ‘GTS101’ and it was for 8.00am as a new and bubbling student, I had wanted to get there very early so I woke up around 6.00am did my morning chores and quickly ran out to do the do. I had forgotten the first don’ts of the compound as I quickly dashed into the toilet, with the speed of light I dashed out just the same way I dashed in. then I took a very good position by the wall side helping myself out as I emptied my bowels from yesterday’s remnants I had felt so good with myself as the gentle breeze of the early morning nurtured my skin with its softness. Suddenly I detected some unfamiliar but still familiar smells which was not coming from my poo but very close to me. The smell was that of marijuana (Igbo), and also I noticed some whispers coming from the bush part and could tell that these guys were in cloud nine as they smoke their way to oblivion. I continue with my nature call and in no distant time I was through with what I was doing. I cleaned off my butt, and carefully tide the nylon which I used in offloading my bowel then I position myself and fling the nylon with all my strength as I was about to work away, I heard a loud scream of Yeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! Na God go punish the person wey throw this ‘SHIT’ ooooo The person don dye today. *No be person tell me I run pass Usain Bolt enter my room*.

Please do well to drop your comment(s) it will really encourage me to post more

Lol Nice beginning but edit well before posting, there are some typos in there.

Lol Nice beginning but edit well before posting, there are some typos in there.

Nice one

While in my room, my heart was pounding faster than normal, although I have not seen the person the shit landed on, but I knew from the voice I heard the person will be very brutal. *The person don dye today oooooo* kept on echoing in my ears and all I could do was to imagine the real action scenario in my dream world. * I kept on peeping through my window to see to be sure of two things, one that the person was not coming straight for me and two that the incident had not happened. By this time I wished back-forward mode was in real life. I would had fling the nylon elsewhere. Right in my head two arguments were going on. It was just like that of the Angel and the devil. *It was not your fault jor, so don’t feel guilty. One voice said to me* my son don’t listen to him the other one said. All you need to do is to go out there and just apologise to the person. The other one said* See emilo the first one continued just ignore the advice he is giving you by the way, what was the person doing in the bush by that early hours of the day And to crown it all he was smoking KWALE IGBO…. That serves him right. In fact if I were you I would have thrown the shit in his face and wait for what will happ………….
He had not even finished then I saw one of my neighbour walked towards the toilet end and I knew he was going to help himself out, since the day wasn’t so bright I knew the guy will want to use a side part. 20 seconds later, I had a loud voice of Yeeeeeeee!!! I knew that was the sound of agony *bros wetin I do una nau* was what I heard next as the scream kept on getting louder and louder by then I could hear the visible sound of beating. Even as I dey my room the beating dey affect me join the guy wey dem dey beat *Na thunder go fire you. You go dye today* Na you get mind throw shit on top my head abi Your farrrddddaaaaa!!! A thunderous slap landed on the guys face, in no distance time, everybody in the lodge ran out except for me. *Bros I swear no be me throw the shit, the guy kept on pleading, I just dey shit my own now as una see* apparently he has been interrupted while offloading his tank. They drag him out from the spot he was, and began to beat him mercilessly by this time our landlord ran out he was a respected man in the community and I also joined him. (make e no be like say I no care). It took the intervention of the landlord to save him from the hands of the *BROS* (dem plenty come beat the guy ooo)
I don warn una make una dey no dey shit outside again una no gree hear me, I think una see am now abi? The landlord said. People began to murmur by then the guy eyes don swallow finish he just managed to drag himself inside as I follow him to show my sympathy. Quickly I went to my stove and boiled hot water to help him massage his body (Onye Oma C.Y) as I laid the hot towel on his body, he screamed………… ewoh I don dye ooo. Bros but you know say no be me throw the shit began to complain to me as he could not help it and he started crying. At this time I felt his pain and one part of me wanted to tell him I was the one, as I kept on massaging him he continued screaming in pain and agony. Na God wey dey heaven go punish these guys and d person wey throw that shit for dose people head na thunder go fire the person, eh!!!! As I heard the statement I quickly dodged it in my mind. The person no go see better thing, he continued this time more aggressively and he was directing it to me as if I knew I was the one that did it. The person no go gradut………. Before he could finish the statement I used hot water to press very hard on his back as he swallowed the words and screamed…………….Idiot I said in my mind after helping him out I went to my room to prepare for lecture when I was done I left for lecture and another funny experienced happened.

anonymousbim:
Lol
Nice beginning but edit well before posting, there are some typos in there.

thanks... i will work on the typos maybe modify after posting