It is heart-wrenching to hear that some Nigerian parents still hold on to stereotypes about certain ethnic groups or ethnic sub groups when their children/wards wants to choose a spouse.

Recently, I overheard a lady lamenting to another friend that her boyfriend's mother doesn't want the relationship to lead to marriage simply because the lady in question is from a certain ethnic sub group which the guy's mother doesn't like.

Since then, I've been waiting for answers to some questions:
1. Should we judge a whole tribe or ethnic subgroup by what a few people did?
2. When there is love between the two, can't they go against all odds and get married?
3. Are these stereotypes even true?


Here is a list of stereotypes I've heard of over the years:
(from a guy's perspective)
1. Ijebu & Egba makes the husband forget his parents and pledges allegiance to his wife's.
2. Ife ladies don't stay long in a man's house.
3. Ijesha are a stingy set
4. Ekiti lacks respect.
5. Ibadan ladies are dirty and so on.

What of "DON'T MARRY A FIRST SON, THEY ARE MOST TIMES SADDLED WITH UNENDING RESPONSIBILITIES"

Sadly, these marriageability stereotypes have been in existence in Nigeria for decades and they're not fading off as fast as one would expect in this globalization era.

It is often true that some of these stereotypes had factual concerns which birthed them, but it doesn't make it right to judge a whole ethnic group or tribe based on common past events.

The problem of love - between the duo - being unable to overcome this stereotype is simply because in most of this part of the world, it is believed "you don't marry an individual but a family (and by extension, a people)". So love is sometimes not powerful enough to break this barrier; and when it does, God save that love because it will be hunted to be killed.

Of course, as hinted earlier, some stereotypes are, sadly, true. But we all know that there are always exceptions in such matters. We don't need to be a prophet to even spot a few exceptions where the potential problems associated with stereotypes didn't come to exist. But these stereotyped parents (or families) simply don't like the odds, hence refusal to take the risk.

I am a strong hater of these stereotypes myself and I so desire their complete sudden annihilation but the effect of stories and beliefs passed down from generations is so strong that I (and any hater likewise) may have to settle for a gradual destruction over time.