hello.
please is it normal not to feel anything for the opposite gender?

I don't know why I don't feel anything for the opposite gender even though they are cute.
while my friends are busy screaming all because of an handsome guy I'll be there looking at him like how is this one even cute? I'm always scared of them,anytime I'm stopped by a guy I usually get really angry and tell him with seriousness that I'm not interested in knowing you or you knowing me and if he still doesn't go I'll shout at him.

it started when I was little, I learnt that my father impregnated my mother and fled, my family begged him but he refused.though he's married without his own kids for a very long time.

when I learnt about it I was scared of guys,if they smiled at me I'll frown at them and start walking really fast.even to enter bike I'll be scared thinking they'll run away with me! I'm a shy person.
I've started watching telemundo and zee world sef and I'm kind of seeing that they aren't monsters.but I'm not really attracted to them,I can be really close to them.
is it normal?
if it is not how can I overcome it?

My dear, its not good. You have to gradually change it, its most likely because of your family background.
You can start with keeping good male friends..

Very normal.
Nothing genuine out there. Mostly FAKE AZZZZZES.
After tasting all the "rotten" azzzzez out there.
MOST of dem nor get work but to sleep online looking for some lost, desperate, sex-starved entities to spread diseases to.
Sheeeeesh.

Nothing to offer abeggggggi.
If I see one MORE blokos in my lifetime, AMMO PUKE OUT MY GUTS!

All small boys do these days is to show pictures of their blokoses on WhatsApp to swindle you off your bank account balance. The girls nko? DIRTY GOLD-DIGGERS struggling to escape poverty.

Thank my agnostic God for marriage jor.

I don't feel ANYTHING for OPPOSITE or SAME sex!
I go wash my nyansh and keep am dry.

Or use my "do-it-yasef" kit!

It's as a result of your background.Your mother probably didn't help matters by either feeding you with bad stories about men(your dad) or deliberately discouraged you from male associations.

You need a re-orientation.Your father is one man and his behaviour does not define all men.
There are good men out there.Start by just having platonic relationships with males around you.Just form friendships and chat.
You don't need to start dating yet.Things will fall
Into place with time.

Kanwuliaextra how is everything?I just dey hail you.

hmm... As u write Jamb finish, u go enter sch.. U go meet highly intelligent trained guys that will wash you soote you go forget your last name... till then, if it still continues, then you're a Lesbian!!

thorpido:
It's as a result of your background.Your mother probably didn't help matters by either feeding you with bad stories about men(your dad) or deliberately discouraged you from male associations.

You need a re-orientation.Your father is one man and his behaviour does not define all men.
There are good men out there.Start by just having platonic relationships with males around you.Just form friendships and chat.
You don't need to start dating yet.Things will fall
Into place with time.

no,she didn't tell me bad things about him she doesn't even talk about him,she still feels something for him I'm sure about it. infact she has been depressed since after he left her.
thanks a lot

Are you attracted to people of your own sex then?

Kentura:
hmm... As u write Jamb finish, u go enter sch.. U go meet highly intelligent trained guys that will wash you soote you go forget your last name... till then, if it still continues, then you're a Lesbian!!

what you just wrote doesn't rhyme with what I said.
it doesn't even make sense to me,did I tell you I'm attracted to girls?
thanks anyway

KanwuliaExtra:
Very normal.
Nothing genuine out there. Mostly FAKE AZZZZZES.
After tasting all the "rotten" azzzzez out there.
MOST of dem nor get work but to sleep online looking for some lost, desperate, sex-starved entities to spread diseases to.
Sheeeeesh.

Nothing to offer abeggggggi.
If I see one MORE blokos in my lifetime, AMMO PUKE OUT MY GUTS!

All small boys do these days is to show pictures of their blokoses on WhatsApp to swindle you off your bank account balance. The girls nko? DIRTY GOLD-DIGGERS struggling to escape poverty.

Thank my agnostic God for marriage jor.

I don't feel ANYTHING for OPPOSITE or SAME sex!
I go wash my nyansh and keep am dry.

Or use my "do-it-yasef" kit!

LOL
hmm agnostic God?

CoolFreeday:
My dear, its not good. You have to gradually change it, its most likely because of your family background.
You can start with keeping good male friends..

thanks a lot

hunniebun:


no,she didn't tell me bad things about him she doesn't even talk about him,she still feels something for him I'm sure about it. infact she has been depressed since after he left her.
thanks a lot

Just try to form platonic friendships for now.Don't try to rush dating.
You'll gradually overcome it.

hunniebun:

thanks a lot

you're welcome

dayleke:
Are you attracted to people of your own sex then?

no I'm not

hunniebun:
hello.
please is it normal not to feel anything for the opposite gender?

I don't know why I don't feel anything for the opposite gender even though they are cute.
while my friends are busy screaming all because of an handsome guy I'll be there looking at him like how is this one even cute? I'm always scared of them,anytime I'm stopped by a guy I usually get really angry and tell him with seriousness that I'm not interested in knowing you or you knowing me and if he still doesn't go I'll shout at him.

it started when I was little, I learnt that my father impregnated my mother and fled, my family begged him but he refused.though he's married without his own kids for a very long time.

when I learnt about it I was scared of guys,if they smiled at me I'll frown at them and start walking really fast.even to enter bike I'll be scared thinking they'll run away with me! I'm a shy person.
I've started watching telemundo and zee world sef and I'm kind of seeing that they aren't monsters.but I'm not really attracted to them,I can be really close to them.
is it normal?
if it is not how can I overcome it?

Do you intend getting married someday?

teehamzat:
Do you intend getting married someday?

yes

hunniebun:


no I'm not

Ok better...
At least you know where to go from here....

hunniebun:

yes

Then you have got a lot of work to do, you start by discarding every form of defensive mechanism you got going, you could even lower your standard a notch, lucky for you guys do the chasing...just free your mind..it all starts from friendship...am sure what pops into your mind when you see the opp sex is " i cant date this one"...tell you what, switch that notion into friendship and watch yourself having amazing experiences

KanwuliaExtra:
Very normal.
Nothing genuine out there. Mostly FAKE AZZZZZES.
After tasting all the "rotten" azzzzez out there.
MOST of dem nor get work but to sleep online looking for some lost, desperate, sex-starved entities to spread diseases to.
Sheeeeesh.

Nothing to offer abeggggggi.
If I see one MORE blokos in my lifetime, AMMO PUKE OUT MY GUTS!

All small boys do these days is to show pictures of their blokoses on WhatsApp to swindle you off your bank account balance. The girls nko? DIRTY GOLD-DIGGERS struggling to escape poverty.

Thank my agnostic God for marriage jor.

I don't feel ANYTHING for OPPOSITE or SAME sex!
I go wash my nyansh and keep am dry.

Or use my "do-it-yasef" kit!

Kanwulia!!

I've missed you, you this crazy lady

hunniebun:


no,she didn't tell me bad things about him she doesn't even talk about him,she still feels something for him I'm sure about it. infact she has been depressed since after he left her.
thanks a lot

Your experiences have (and still do) shaped your overall perception of the male folk. You're mistrusting and wary - understandably so.

It's good to be on your guard so you don't go through what your mum has experienced. That notwithstanding, I think you need a good male role model in your life. A mentor more like. Someone you can trust.

Lol, at DIY kit.

KanwuliaExtra:


Or use my "do-it-yasef" kit!

hunniebun:
hello.
please is it normal not to feel anything for the opposite gender?

I don't know why I don't feel anything for the opposite gender even though they are cute.
while my friends are busy screaming all because of an handsome guy I'll be there looking at him like how is this one even cute? I'm always scared of them,anytime I'm stopped by a guy I usually get really angry and tell him with seriousness that I'm not interested in knowing you or you knowing me and if he still doesn't go I'll shout at him.

it started when I was little, I learnt that my father impregnated my mother and fled, my family begged him but he refused.though he's married without his own kids for a very long time.

when I learnt about it I was scared of guys,if they smiled at me I'll frown at them and start walking really fast.even to enter bike I'll be scared thinking they'll run away with me! I'm a shy person.
I've started watching telemundo and zee world sef and I'm kind of seeing that they aren't monsters.but I'm not really attracted to them,I can be really close to them.
is it normal?
if it is not how can I overcome it?

were you sexually abused at a tender age?
You may ha e been molested at a very tender age and now it's affecting you even though you can't recall it. It could also be that you spent most of your time around your mom and she cared for you so much that you became attached to her and to other women because they are the ones you always feel comfortable with.
I used to feel like that till some years back. I never use to appreciate anything done by the olopporsit sex and never use to appreciate how good they look even when my friend gush over guys I just think they are sick. Some one really took time to help me out of that situation. And it worked

MISSCONGENIALITY:
were you sexually abused at a tender age?
You may ha e been molested at a very tender age and now it's affecting you even though you can't recall it. It could also be that you spent most of your time around your mom and she cared for you so much that you became attached to her and to other women because they are the ones you always feel comfortable with.
I used to feel like that till some years back. I never use to appreciate anything done by the olopporsit sex and never use to appreciate how good they look even when my friend gush over guys I just think they are sick. Some one really took time to help me out of that situation. And it worked

no I wasn't molested. no she doesn't really care about me. but I was shown real love by her sister, she's like a mom to me I'm close to her.
its not about that,my dad abandoned us before I was born so when I learnt about it I became scared and redrawn from guys.

how did the person help you?

Nope, not normal as in irregular

But I know there are some people who naturally lack sexual affection of sorts, guess they are nonsexual or somn, dunno, but it exists n in our continent we'll def classify such as an anomaly

Sha

Just be yourself,
Don't sweat it, for your period in life, I'd say its okay, just use D's period to work on yourself, don't force yourself, let love -not infatuation- come to you naturally, you'd forget you ever questioned yourself

Truelove fall on you

Not f. cK boys n time wasters

Cheers

hunniebun:


no I wasn't molested. no she doesn't really care about me. but I was shown real love by her sister, she's like a mom to me I'm close to her.
its not about that,my dad abandoned us before I was born so when I learnt about it I became scared and redrawn from guys.

how did the person help you?

He managed to stay close to me despite my hatred for men. He was always nice to me but within me I didn't see anything good in him simply because he was a guy. I'm fact till today I easily forgive females that males but it's not as bad as before. Another thing that also helped me was that studied psychology in school. It helped to an extent.
What you need to do now is to be free when you are approached by an opposite sex. Not the type that are looking for those to exploit. Try not to be rude to them if they are nice to you.

No it is not normal . However, given your history, it is a normal response. Don't worry, you will eventually find one of them really cute, cute enough to wanna be stolen by him. Eventually, he will break your heart. Time will mend your heart and you will love again . Brace yourself

You need to spend time with your dad.

armyofone:
Lol, at DIY kit.

Na the only tin wey fit gif me peace of mind o. Dem days are soooooo OVA!!!

Before "horn" grow for inside my wetin-call. Some diseases never get name or description nowadays o. I nor wan catch wey dey the tin wey dey for only AFICA o.
Na ritual be dat. Oyinbo nor go find the cure lai lai. Shegey!!!!

EfemenaXY:


Kanwulia!!

I've missed you, you this crazy lady

Still as crazy as a fox o.
Good to see ya!

EfemenaXY:


Kanwulia!!

I've missed you, you this crazy lady

Madam

You're probably asexual. Is it normal? The largely heteronormative society we live in would probably chorus a deafening “NO” to that question. I, on the hand, would say that it is “not necessarily abnormal”. Monks and nuns who have taken vows of chastity and of abstinence from sex for the remainder of their lives are not “less normal” or living “less fulfilled” lives than the rest of us, are they?

I would go out on a limb here and say such needn't bother you, especially as it's evident that not every existential thing ought to be put to use. Look around you, look within the confines of Nairaland, and you would find that some people have brains and never use them, and yet still lead contented and happy lives. So, I see no reason why lacking of a need to put your sex organ to use should stir angst within you.

And, one last thing, be sure to take my advise with a cubic metre of salt... Because it might not be me but the alcohol that's doing the talking.

DarkRebel69:
You're probably asexual. Is it normal? The heteronormative society we live in would probably chorus a deafening “NO” to that question. I, on the hand, would say that it is “not necessarily abnormal”. Monks and nuns who have taken vows of chastity and of abstinence from sex for the remainder of their lives are not “less normal” or living “less fulfilled” lives than the rest of us, are they?

I would go out on a limb here and say such needn't bother you, especially as it's evident that not every existential thing ought to be put to use. Look around you, look within the confines of Nairaland, and you would find that some people have brains and never use them, and yet still lead contented and happy lives. So, I see no reason why lacking of a need to put your sex organ to use should stir angst within you.

And, one last thing, be sure to take my advise with a cubic metre of salt... Because it might not be me but the alcohol that's doing the talking.

Hi sir. It's Tearless Check your Email, I replied your message.

---

Lol. You mistook me for the wrong person.