I HAVE BEEN TO SEVERAL WEDDINGS AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES. ONE COMMON FEATURE OF THOSE DAYS IS WHEN THE NEW BRIDE IS ASKED TO FEED THE GROOM. IN ALMOST EVERY CASES WAS THE BRIDE SEEING KNEELING BEFORE GIVEN OUT THE CAKE, FOOD OR WINE. MY FINDINGS MADE IT CLEAR THAT IN MOST CASES THAT WAS THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME.

IS THIS WEDDING DAY DECEPTION OR WHAT DO WE CALL IT?

what is deceptive abt it?the feeding or the kneeling down?
You can start the revolution,whenever u wanna get married,make it known to ya folks and wife-to-be that shes gonna stand whilist presenting the drink/wine to u.While at it,the bride also kneels when accepting the wine from the dad . . .is that deception too

akinolasam:

I HAVE BEEN TO SEVERAL WEDDINGS AND TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES. ONE COMMON FEATURE OF THOSE DAYS IS WHEN THE NEW BRIDE IS ASKED TO FEED THE GROOM. IN ALMOST EVERY CASES WAS THE BRIDE SEEING KNEELING BEFORE GIVEN OUT THE CAKE, FOOD OR WINE. MY FINDINGS MADE IT CLEAR THAT IN MOST CASES THAT WAS THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME.

IS THIS WEDDING DAY DECEPTION OR WHAT DO WE CALL IT?

It's a symbolic gesture.

I think the gesture does carry over into married life, in some form. Most women serve the meal/food to their husband 1st.

I would never sit down to eat until I had placed my father's food before him, he was the head of the house, I think that's normally what
happens in most black households.

Its not deception, its just part of the ceremony

I guess the OP's point here is Nigerian women should kneel down when giving their husbands food.

It shouldnt be a one day only thing ie only happening on the wedding day.

una no dey appreciate men ni?

its things like this that make the men run to other countries to find wives.

Oh kneeling down every time you serve food to your husband, I see.

madlady:

Oh kneeling down every time you serve food to your husband, I see.

that is exactly the point. Why telling us u are respectful, obedient and simple with all your posture on your wedding day only to now feel you are on equal level with your husband after the ring don enter your finger

akinolasam:


that is exactly the point. Why telling us u are respectful, obedient and simple with all your posture on your wedding day only to now feel you are on equal level with your husband after the ring don enter your finger

wait just a minute sha.

I dont think I've been to any wedding where the bride knelt down to feed the husband cake.

Usually both remain standing when feeding each other.

Feel free to prove me wrong by letting us know how many weddings you attended and saw this.






btw, in Yoruba culture the groom has to prostrate fully multiple times during the wedding, for the bride's family. Does that continue afterwards or is it only a one time thing.

akinolasam:


that is exactly the point. Why telling us u are respectful, obedient and simple with all your posture on your wedding day only to now feel you are on equal level with your husband after the ring don enter your finger

Hmmm. So the wife should kneel down when serving the husband food just to confirm his superiority?
Na wah oh

Its wedding formality , how many of them knows the reason why they marry.

can someone set me straight here because I'm getting rather confused.

If the bride is kneeling down to feed her husband cake, does she do it while the man is seated, because if he's standing (as they both have to be when cutting the cake), then how does she reach up to put the piece of cake in his mouth?

maybe i need to go back to bed or something because its really not making sense to me when I think about it.

OP did you run away.

@ tpiah
Why are you bothering your head over this?
Well, it's usually done both ways. Either with both of them standing, or the man sitting and she kneelin (the kneeling is more common when she is feeding the husband wine as well)
Either way the man has to bend down his head.
So stop bothering your head over this silly issue

tpiah:

I guess the OP's point here is Nigerian women should kneel down when giving their husbands food.

It shouldnt be a one day only thing ie only happening on the wedding day.

una no dey appreciate men ni?

its things like this that make the men run to other countries to find wives.

women from other countries find this highly degrading. watch wedding videos from other countries. 3 things happen. they feed eachother in turn both siting or standing, they feed eachother simultaneously or they smash the cake in eachothers faces

agathamari:

women from other countries find this highly degrading. watch wedding videos from other countries. 3 things happen. they feed eachother in turn both siting or standing, they feed eachother simultaneously or they smash the cake in eachothers faces

here we dont see it as enslavement, its our culture(or at least part of marriage procedings).
and just cos they dont do it in their own part of the sphere makes it babaric. no man here fights the wife if she dont do it when they are alone in the confine of their home.

BTW smashing the cake in their faces is to me ludicrous

Since our parents esp the inlaws insist on us deceiving them why not? Personally i did not do dat trash on my wedding day, its just not me but i cant imagine a ypruba girl refusing to kneel. Her own don finish

usbcable:


here we dont see it as enslavement, its our culture(or at least part of marriage procedings).
and just cos they dont do it in their own part of the sphere makes it babaric. no man here fights the wife if she dont do it when they are alone in the confine of their home.

BTW smashing the cake in their faces is to me ludicrous

my statement was in responce to tpiah's remark making it sound as if foreign women will grovel at a man feet.  smashing of the cake is to make light of the whole "feeding" thing

^^ my remark was meant to be tongue in cheek actually.

I wouldnt expect an educated man to ask his wife to kneel while serving him every single day, though never say never.

Stranger things have happened.

some strongly traditional males do require such mannerisms, however. And no doubt there are women who love to "cater to" their men that way.

Wedding day ceremony is a make believe aimed at thrilling the audience. At home, both will show their true colours.

usbcable:


here we dont see it as enslavement, its our culture(or at least part of marriage procedings).
and just cos they dont do it in their own part of the sphere makes it babaric. no man here fights the wife if she dont do it when they are alone in the confine of their home.

BTW smashing the cake in their faces is to me ludicrous

To hell with primitive backward culture. It was once part of culture to kill twins in Nigeria until Mary Slessor came and talked sense into the backward, primitive brains of the people. Why una no continue killing your babies? After all its culture. No wonder the world has no respect for we Africans because we are so wicked to each other and hide under the farcade of culture. Culture my foot. Wake up and smell the coffee. It's 2010 not 1807!