OK here is the deal; I met this girl fews months back at a friends office as a sales girl. She is everything a man could want in a woman. An epitome of beauty. It took me like a while to get her contact cos she wouldn't give me. I refused to get it from anyone else but her. One day she did give me. I tried all I could to convince this girl that I am not like her ex but she wouldn't believe me. After what seems like forever, I got tired so I let her be. But I noticed something. Each time I stop calling or texting for a while she will call me but yet will never accept to date me. I'm not of great looks for sure but I've got a big heart. Sometimes I feel probably it's bcoz I'm not that handsome. I just can't figure out exactly what the problem is. I so much love this girl and meant well for her. She called me into their office one day to tell me that one girl told her that she loves me. I was bent on her telling me who the girl is but she refused. She said she is afraid I will leave her for the unknown girl. That girl is just messing up with my head and life...... Lols.

After what seems like a two weeks I heard from her colleague in office that she no longer work with them. I didn't want to call her since she never bothered to let me know. I was on my own one good evening my phone rang it was her. She told me she no longer work with them and is searching for a job. I am looking for a sells girl also so I felt it will create a room for bonding. I hired her few days ago. But the thing is, I am leaving the country in less than two months by God's grace and I don't even have anyone to leave my business for. I have this girl I have been dating for a while now but I have told her plainly that our relationship won't lead to marriage. I am feeling it would be bad to keep her for selfish reasons. Until I see some level of commitment I can't leave my business for a total stranger who from the look of things don't want to make clear her stand but at the same time would make a great wife. So it seems anyway.

What do I do? I want someone I can trust to give control my business from here while I travel.
Would it be stupid to pay her dowry and travel?
She doesn't know about my traveling plans.
Should I speak to her plainly and tell her exactly what I want from her? Should I disclose that much information to her?
I hate wooing a lady with what I have or who I am.

I need all the help I can get before a brother makes a life time mistake please.

My friend is facing similar challenge lemme wait for elders while I sit on the throne

Dear brother, this is a dilemma. I will advice you dig into her past. Find out who she is. Check her FB posts (if she has any). Ask questions around. It is also good to take good risks. Go into prayer, look for signs, test her with money etc. Some people are good. All the best.

carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle
then come and thank me later

carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle
then come and thank me later

carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle
then come and thank me later

troublemakea:
carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle

then come and thank me later

Guy Nawa you self

ojoj:
Dear brother, this is a dilemma. I will advice you dig into her past. Find out who she is. Check her FB posts (if she has any). Ask questions around. It is also good to take good risks. Go into prayer, look for signs, test her with money etc. Some people are good. All the best.

She is a reserved person by nature. She doesn't do much. I still don't understand how she managed to keep herself in this generation of use what you have to get what you want trend. She is such a beauty that if she passes and you don't look twice then you are gay. Yes she is that beautiful. But we ain't talking about beauty. If is into money, she would be flirting around but judging from what she wears, either she doesn't have a boyfriend or that nigga is an asshole but for sure she still have some dignity left.

Should I disclose that much information to her?

Do NOT make this mistake. Even if she doesn't like you, she could pretend to just for selfish reasons. I am not saying she will, but she might.

troublemakea:
carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle

then come and thank me later

It sounds stupid but only a matured mind will know you make a lot of sense. I have actually taught of that but I still have some issues I need to resolve with my health before talking about impregnating a lady.

ariketalks:



Do NOT make this mistake. Even if she doesn't like you, she could pretend to just for selfish reasons. I am not saying she will, but she might.

Yeah I understand. That's the major reason I haven't told her much in that aspect. Though staying around me now complicates the issue a little cos she will now know I am not as poor as I pretend to be.

sirdouglas:

It sounds stupid but only a matured mind will know you make a lot of sense. I have actually taught of that but I still have some issues I need to resolve with my health before talking about impregnating a lady.

firstly, I wount support coming to a platform like this to say ur future plans or tell what's happening to you soon cause no one knows who's who

but i'd just advice you to get to know more about the lady like the first poster said and also consult spiritual leaders on the way to go that's if you belief in all this pastor pastor stuvs

don't worry you'd be fine and your dreams will come true. amen.

sirdouglas:


She is a reserved person by nature. She doesn't do much. I still don't understand how she managed to keep herself in this generation of use what you have to get what you want trend. She is such a beauty that if she passes and you don't look twice then you are gay. Yes she is that beautiful. But we ain't talking about beauty. If is into money, she would be flirting around but judging from what she wears, either she doesn't have a boyfriend or that nigga is an asshole but for sure she still have some dignity left.

Tell me more.
So, the work of bf is to buy cloth?

No business has ever flourished while the owner is away. It becomes a black hole! Unless you plan on making monthly trips ( even fortnightly as I see some of my colleagues doing hair getting more grey with every trip) If not then do what you have to do but don’t leave it to anyone!

If you are in a position to sell do that. You don’t know how your life abroad will pan out. Therefore do not make promises you might not be able to keep. The philosophy of “wait for me I shall return” has caused many men and women to be bitter. A time to settle down will come.

Don’t catch any feelings. I suggest selling and keeping your money and leave if this was meant to be it will be. Now is not the time to be conflicted about things like this. And regarding leaving your business to her are you out of your mind? Are you like seriously doolally?

Most Nigerian women and money = diabolical pairing that does not have a good ending.
Ever!

sirdouglas:

It sounds stupid but only a matured mind will know you make a lot of sense. I have actually taught of that but I still have some issues I need to resolve with my health before talking about impregnating a lady.

If you follow that advise you are more of a fool than the person who advised you to do it.
Do you know how most relationships don’t survive distance?
Dude your future is ahead of you, and here you are thinking about leaving behind a pregnant wife and what if things do not work well abroad or if takes time for things to work out?
You can worry about yourself but the amount of stress knowing that you have a wife and child waiting on you is a heavy load!
Do you know how many end up taking their own lives due to the sheer pressure of trying to provide dorba family backhome?
Think in a logicial way here or is that outside your capacity to have foresight?

Abeg ooo me am looking for a job ooo....i could take care of business for you sir.... No joke...

ojoj:
Dear brother, this is a dilemma. I will advice you dig into her past. Find out who she is. Check her FB posts (if she has any). Ask questions around. It is also good to take good risks. Go into prayer, look for signs, test her with money etc. Some people are good. All the best.

Check her FB? Do you know you can have multiple accounts?
A woman can be anyone you want her to be until her ojective is achieved. Test or no test!
Pray and how long does he wait for a response bearing in mind he leaves in 2 months?
Seriously?
This is you being Sherlock Holmes?

sirdouglas:
OK here is the deal; I met this girl fews months back at a friends office as a sales girl. She is everything a man could want in a woman. An epitome of beauty. It took me like a while to get her contact cos she wouldn't give me. I refused to get it from anyone else but her. One day she did give me. I tried all I could to convince this girl that I am not like her ex but she wouldn't believe me. After what seems like forever, I got tired so I let her be. But I noticed something. Each time I stop calling or texting for a while she will call me but yet will never accept to date me. I'm not of great looks for sure but I've got a big heart. Sometimes I feel probably it's bcoz I'm not that handsome. I just can't figure out exactly what the problem is. I so much love this girl and meant well for her. She called me into their office one day to tell me that one girl told her that she loves me. I was bent on her telling me who the girl is but she refused. She said she is afraid I will leave her for the unknown girl. That girl is just messing up with my head and life...... Lols.

After what seems like a two weeks I heard from her colleague in office that she no longer work with them. I didn't want to call her since she never bothered to let me know. I was on my own one good evening my phone rang it was her. She told me she no longer work with them and is searching for a job. I am looking for a sells girl also so I felt it will create a room for bonding. I hired her few days ago. But the thing is, I am leaving the country in less than two months by God's grace and I don't even have anyone to leave my business for. I have this girl I have been dating for a while now but I have told her plainly that our relationship won't lead to marriage. I am feeling it would be bad to keep her for selfish reasons. Until I see some level of commitment I can't leave my business for a total stranger who from the look of things don't want to make clear her stand but at the same time would make a great wife. So it seems anyway.

What do I do? I want someone I can trust to give control my business from here while I travel.
Would it be stupid to pay her dowry and travel?
She doesn't know about my traveling plans.
Should I speak to her plainly and tell her exactly what I want from her? Should I disclose that much information to her?
I hate wooing a lady with what I have or who I am.

I need all the help I can get before a brother makes a life time mistake please.

you don't have siblings? and advice from a brother to another, do not make the mistake by paying her dowry be4 traveling out. don't if you do you will ruined your life.

Please give the Buisness to your siblings abeg,don't trust anybody moreover u don't know her well

MissRaine69:
No business has ever flourished while the owner is away. It becomes a black hole! Unless you plan on making monthly trips ( even fortnightly as I see some of my colleagues doing hair getting more grey with every trip) If not then do what you have to do but don’t leave it to anyone!

If you are in a position to sell do that. You don’t know how your life abroad will pan out. Therefore do not make promises you might not be able to keep. The philosophy of “wait for me I shall return” has caused many men and women to be bitter. A time to settle down will come.

Don’t catch any feelings. I suggest selling and keeping your money and leave if this was meant to be it will be. Now is not the time to be conflicted about things like this. And regarding leaving your business to her are you out of your mind? Are you like seriously doolally?

Most Nigerian women and money = diabolical pairing that does not have a good ending.
Ever!

I really appreciate your opinion. But to help me better I think it's necessary to throw more light on what I am going there to do. I am into phone business and I am traveling to China which my major aim and sustainance will be buying phones and sending it down here for to be sold and return the money also buy for others. So you see the business is necessary for the time being. Maybe I would wind up the business when I stabilized over there but for now I will be needing. Siblings is not an option. I have just a brother and two younger sisters that are still in secondary school. My younger brother is a no no. That guy will run me down faster than a stranger. At least I can unleash my full wrath on anyone else without the world judging me. Those of you that come from a stable home don't know what guys like us passes through. This is one of it.

Douglas are you a Nigerian?

sirdouglas:
OK here is the deal; I met this girl fews months back at a friends office as a sales girl. She is everything a man could want in a woman. An epitome of beauty. It took me like a while to get her contact cos she wouldn't give me. I refused to get it from anyone else but her. One day she did give me. I tried all I could to convince this girl that I am not like her ex but she wouldn't believe me. After what seems like forever, I got tired so I let her be. But I noticed something. Each time I stop calling or texting for a while she will call me but yet will never accept to date me. I'm not of great looks for sure but I've got a big heart. Sometimes I feel probably it's bcoz I'm not that handsome. I just can't figure out exactly what the problem is. I so much love this girl and meant well for her. She called me into their office one day to tell me that one girl told her that she loves me. I was bent on her telling me who the girl is but she refused. She said she is afraid I will leave her for the unknown girl. That girl is just messing up with my head and life...... Lols.

After what seems like a two weeks I heard from her colleague in office that she no longer work with them. I didn't want to call her since she never bothered to let me know. I was on my own one good evening my phone rang it was her. She told me she no longer work with them and is searching for a job. I am looking for a sells girl also so I felt it will create a room for bonding. I hired her few days ago. But the thing is, I am leaving the country in less than two months by God's grace and I don't even have anyone to leave my business for. I have this girl I have been dating for a while now but I have told her plainly that our relationship won't lead to marriage. I am feeling it would be bad to keep her for selfish reasons. Until I see some level of commitment I can't leave my business for a total stranger who from the look of things don't want to make clear her stand but at the same time would make a great wife. So it seems anyway.

What do I do? I want someone I can trust to give control my business from here while I travel.
Would it be stupid to pay her dowry and travel?
She doesn't know about my traveling plans.
Should I speak to her plainly and tell her exactly what I want from her? Should I disclose that much information to her?
I hate wooing a lady with what I have or who I am.

I need all the help I can get before a brother makes a life time mistake please.

oga I can help you manage your business while she remains your sales girl please this mail pjoneta@gmail.com I can stay around you for the remaining two months if you are not comfortable with me you can send me back sir I just graduated

troublemakea:
carry her home, pay for her dowry, marry her and give her belle

then come and thank me later

na wao just like dat. Em sirdouglas i suggest u do a little investigation on this girl u say u like. Do some digging and know who she really is and on the issue of living ur business with someone??...dont u have siblings?. Its much safer living yur business with ur close siblings than living it with a total stranger. Yea she's a stranger..u dont know anything about her..u just started chyking her.yea i know some irresponsible siblings still scam their bro abroad but then its still safer to leave that ur business with ur blood brother or even ur parents. Or u can even sell it off as missraine suggested.dont allow urself to get scammed. Na naija we dey ooo. Shine ur eyes!

Your situation is dicey.

In this modern day Nigeria, no one can be trusted with taking care of buisness . Not even family sef. You know u would be travelling this year to China, u Should have started sourcing for a credible person since last year. Know the person very well, employ him or her in your buisness, know the family of your worker and create a bond. But in a space of two months? U need this lady, u dont even have marriage plans for, to handle it while u are away? Then u are in deep shit. Time is too short to create a bond with someone o even with that lady u like. While she manages your buisness while u are away. I suggest you lock up your shop. Settle yourself in China, then when u are back continue Your sales and from there on look for a credible person U can trust and employ to manage or employ her back, then take time to know her well, before u travel again. Assuming you are married with kids, your wife would have handled it well for u. Especially if u marry a working class woman who is wise, buisness savy with the love of God in her heart.
Anyways wish u best of luck in your final decision.

androidroot:
Douglas are you a Nigerian?

Lol

androidroot:
Douglas are you a Nigerian?

yeah..... Lols

That sounds funny.

sirdouglas:


I really appreciate your opinion. But to help me better I think it's necessary to throw more light on what I am going there to do. I am into phone business and I am traveling to China which my major aim and sustainance will be buying phones and sending it down here for to be sold and return the money also buy for others. So you see the business is necessary for the time being. Maybe I would wind up the business when I stabilized over there but for now I will be needing. Siblings is not an option. I have just a brother and two younger sisters that are still in secondary school. My younger brother is a no no. That guy will run me down faster than a stranger. At least I can unleash my full wrath on anyone else without the world judging me. Those of you that come from a stable home don't know what guys like us passes through. This is one of it.

Money and family don’t mix
Money and strangers an even more lethal concoction.
How long are you going for?
You might need to have what’s called a “pop up shop”
You don’t keep any excess stock and you rent space as and when it’s needed. Secondly it allows you room to diversify. As it’s possible it might not be just phones you might end up selling.

MissRaine69:
No business has ever flourished while the owner is away. It becomes a black hole! Unless you plan on making monthly trips ( even fortnightly as I see some of my colleagues doing hair getting more grey with every trip) If not then do what you have to do but don’t leave it to anyone!

If you are in a position to sell do that. You don’t know how your life abroad will pan out. Therefore do not make promises you might not be able to keep. The philosophy of “wait for me I shall return” has caused many men and women to be bitter. A time to settle down will come.

Don’t catch any feelings. I suggest selling and keeping your money and leave if this was meant to be it will be. Now is not the time to be conflicted about things like this. And regarding leaving your business to her are you out of your mind? Are you like seriously doolally?

Most Nigerian women and money = diabolical pairing that does not have a good ending.
Ever!

I tried giving this post 100 likes but bloody nairaland only allows 1 like.

sirdouglas:
OK here is the deal; I met this girl fews months back at a friends office as a sales girl. She is everything a man could want in a woman. An epitome of beauty. It took me like a while to get her contact cos she wouldn't give me. I refused to get it from anyone else but her. One day she did give me. I tried all I could to convince this girl that I am not like her ex but she wouldn't believe me. After what seems like forever, I got tired so I let her be. But I noticed something. Each time I stop calling or texting for a while she will call me but yet will never accept to date me. I'm not of great looks for sure but I've got a big heart. Sometimes I feel probably it's bcoz I'm not that handsome. I just can't figure out exactly what the problem is. I so much love this girl and meant well for her. She called me into their office one day to tell me that one girl told her that she loves me. I was bent on her telling me who the girl is but she refused. She said she is afraid I will leave her for the unknown girl. That girl is just messing up with my head and life...... Lols.

After what seems like a two weeks I heard from her colleague in office that she no longer work with them. I didn't want to call her since she never bothered to let me know. I was on my own one good evening my phone rang it was her. She told me she no longer work with them and is searching for a job. I am looking for a sells girl also so I felt it will create a room for bonding. I hired her few days ago. But the thing is, I am leaving the country in less than two months by God's grace and I don't even have anyone to leave my business for. I have this girl I have been dating for a while now but I have told her plainly that our relationship won't lead to marriage. I am feeling it would be bad to keep her for selfish reasons. Until I see some level of commitment I can't leave my business for a total stranger who from the look of things don't want to make clear her stand but at the same time would make a great wife. So it seems anyway.

What do I do? I want someone I can trust to give control my business from here while I travel.
Would it be stupid to pay her dowry and travel?
She doesn't know about my traveling plans.
Should I speak to her plainly and tell her exactly what I want from her? Should I disclose that much information to her?
I hate wooing a lady with what I have or who I am.

I need all the help I can get before a brother makes a life time mistake please.

Are you sure she loves you as much as you love her? And how well do you think you know her? If your answers are positive, then pay her dowry and leave the business in her care. She'll be more committed to the business knowing it's her husband's and you won't have a cause to worry about being duped.

912:


I tried giving this post 100 likes but bloody nairaland only allows 1 like.

The 1 like is worth hundreds!

kimbraa:
Are you sure she loves you as much as you love her? And how well do you think you know her? If your answers are positive, then pay her dowry and leave the business in her care. She'll be more committed to the business knowing it's her husband's and you won't have a cause to worry about being duped.

Really?
She is well vested in managing and running a business just because she will be married to him?
His business acumen just transfers itself from him to her osmosis style?
She looked for him when she was in need hellooooooo!!!

MissRaine69:

Really?
She is well vested in managing and running a business just because she will be married to him?
His business acumen just transfers itself from him to her osmosis style?
She looked for him when she was in need hellooooooo!!!

Phone business isn't cake baking where one needs to learn everything about recipes and when or when not to add them to the flour. It's more of a straight forward business. All he needs do is to spend his few months of being here to teach her what she needs to know and how they'll be doing their shipments and pick ups, while on the long-run in it, she'll get to learn more about phones and gadgets. My problem is, does he know her too well? If he does, then he doesn't have a problem. Pay the dowry and leave the business in her care. You're entitled to your opinion though.