1. Today I took a step that most of you can't
take because I went for an HIV TEST and I
was very happy because when I got there the clinic was closed

2. I paid 100k to enter the zoo and You are
telling me not to hug the lions?
Lemme jhoor!

3. Slim girls deserve to wear earrings & the
fat ones should wear padlocks

4. I used to see Ladies wearing toe rings
thinking it's just for fashion, not knowing they are engaged to short guys who couldn't
reach their fingers

5. Those People Who Send mobile Money to
people by mistake, hasn't God Revealed my
number to u in ur dream ?

6. I’m sure when you ask this NYSC batch
“what batch are you in”they will be like Davido’s batch.

7. People Who Owe You Money Will Buy Something Right In front Of You & Be Like "I
Haven't Forgotten About You".I Love
Africans..

8. You will be forming hard guy,
but you count 1 2 3 before you pour cold
water on your body, Ode!

SCHOOL FACTS* In every Class there is.. 1.The Thief 2.The shy type 3.The three best friends 4.The back seat guys with long neck 5.The smart type 6.The gossip squad with low mark 7.The Late comers 8.The clever girl who are loved by teachers 9.The guy who doesn't have anything to do with girls 10.The pastor 11.The copy Machine Boy/girl 12.The Talkative 13.The entertainer in every school gathering 14.The Bully one 15.The pretty girl 16.The funny one who disturb the class 17.The brilliant student 18.The gentle one 19.The Lover boy Mine is Number 9 "Which one were you??

....... ......... ....... ........ ........ .......

1. Church is the best place to go after a
breakup You'll be in the crowd crying and
everybody's thinking You're in the spirit
.

2. Dear money, please come and seduce me! If
I refuse to understand, rape me mercilessly
.

3. Nobody keeps in touch with yhu like a girl
you promise to send money she can even
appear in your dreams.
.

4. The way some ladies use to eat corn in
public ehn
You will think the corn is the one responsible
for all the problems and misfortunes of their
life
.

5. Rain wash my mouth tire today after school
lesson....dah one no pain me like a slay queen
I saw running as if she owe person money
.

6. Akpors: My dad fell in the well
Bae: Oh my God! Is he alright?
Akpors: He must be, cos he stopped calling for
help since yesterday
.

7. I hate it when going to put offering in
church and one fat girl keeps dancing
forwards and backwards like MTN Network
Mtcheww
.

8. Fat girls are shy to hang their pants outside
Why?
Because they know it looks like a parachute
.

9. Nigerians and their funny prayer points
.....which one is **O lord, use me till I
become useless **
If I talk now, they will start saying I hate
Yoruba people
.

10. The only reason why I don't feel like
getting married now is that everyone will now
know that I've started having SEX including
my MOM and its making me to feel Shy
.

11. People are just so wicked sha, imagine
selling fake rat poison in this economic
recession
Don't be a victim, taste it before buying it....
The original one is salty
.

12. If you're happy with one girlfriend,
imagine having 10? Happiness weee just kill
you die
.

13. Do you realize dah when you're madly in
love, even insults sounds like birthday
wishes?
.

14. You will be praying for your sugar daddy
to remember you, his wife will be praying for
him to forget yhu
You people are just confusing the innocent
man's soul
.

15. I'm still talking price with the thunder
dah will fire those dah will read all this post
without liking & dropping any comment cos
the thunder z still doing press up in sambisa
forest

16. Love is looking for you .... If you
know, you know...

Laugh Laugh and Laugh 1, I wonder how people could be this funny... Imagine two guys were fighting and I tried to make things right between them. But when I hear the cause of the fight I couldn't help it... How will you borrow your friend's cloth and then slim fit it 2, It's very annoying when you sleep and you entered Canada in your dream only to wake up and start hearing... Ekaaro o Ologi de oooo.... 3,A group of slim girls in the swimming pool will be looking like boiled spaghetti..... Lemme come and be going biko 4, If you hear a lady saying my child is my everything... Just know the husband ran away! Wisdom will not kill me 5, They say milk gives strength then I drank 4 cups of milk and I couldn't move a wall... but when I drank 4 bottles of beer I saw the walls moving themselves These scientists are bloody liars..... 6, Those girls that snatch peoples boyfriends haven't you seen me yet or you have appollo Emi Odidi fine boy Nawa oh 7, What is Nigeria turning into? A friend just told me that their father takes tithe and offering from them during morning devotion 8, Ladies if you are sweeping your boyfriend's room and you come across a paper that says OVER 2.5 or 1X... keep it well ooo... cos it might be your bride price. 9, Uncle because your crush now lives in your area... You will now be wearing Suit to fetch water... Bros behave na 10, Meanwhile some ladies be like... I need a man that will open the door for me and show me where to sit... A man that can stand by my side and handles a lot of cash! Come to think of it, aren't all this qualities of a bus conductor?

1) When you were born your father named you Jennifer, your mother called you Omalicha, and now you have changed your name on Facebook to mhiz sexzy bae. Now who is stupid? (2) wickedness is when you ask a girl for her number, but she gives you a wrong number, on getting home you call and a native doctor picks up the call, then you mistakenly say hello my love..... Spiritual slap is involved (3) Nothing pains in this life than when you want to throw away a gala sachet, and you mistakenly throway your 1000 naira note along Lagos-Benin expressway (4) When Angel Gabriel will finally blow the trumpet, all our politicians will go to hell fire, because they will be busy looting and they won't hear the trumpet (5) when you are sitting alone and you hear somebody call your name, but you look round and find no one, don't panic your village people just bought a new microphone (6) my grandmother came to me and said that her phone ringing tone is finished, I asked her to give me some money let me go and download another one for her...... All the money she collected from my grandfather when she was young, I'll collect them back (7) I nearly died when I watched Nollywood movie and saw Tonto Dike and Oge Okoye used as angels of God ( When I was in primary school, I had two friends Solomon and Wisdom, but they repeated primary 3,three times each (9) Success is not until you have seven cars, two helicopters and a mansion, success is also when you are the admin of five Facebook groups and two WhatsApp groups, with 62,559 members (10) Even Rats sef want to be among the richest animals, a rat entered my room, instead of going to where I kept my crayfish and dry fish, its was heading toward my 50 naira note.... Na kill I kill am