I am too confused as I don't know how to get out of this mess I've landed myself into.I am traditionally married for 3yrs now to my guy who left for Germany one month after the traditional wedding,Promising to come back after his military training which was proposed for 2 yrs.A yr after he left,I met this guy while I was running my masters program in,we were only friends then as we helped each other in our academic works.He knew I was married and even became my hubby's friend.To cut the long story short,I've come to love this guy so much that am ready to let my people return the dowry to hubby's people as am presently pregnant for this guy though he doesn't know yet.What do I do as this new guy has been proposing that I marry him and leave with him to Canada.

Are you gay?! you're a fargen guy!

Hmm good question and i wonder hw he got pregnant or it dat he made a mistake or wht?

pls disregard dis post as someone hacked into my i.d and used it to send this trash.

CKC it sucks to be you how could you be male and pregnant

whiteroses:

CKC it sucks to be you how could you be male and pregnant

@ least u read what the guy posted, someone cloned him

you've got some really serious issues in your hands here. let me do some serious thinking. i'll get back to u, i promise.

Ha omo i really pity you.
This is a real mess.
Let me see if i can start from the begining.

See the thing is because you are married, its gonna be really difficult.

There are a few questions you have to answer for me-
- does anyone in your family know?
- do you have kids for your husband?
- how many months pregnant are you?
- did your husband return to you in that two yrs he's been away?
- do u really see yourself being with this new guy?

The reason i ask the last question is cause it may be that he has been giving you the undivided attention you were craving for and thats why you feel you like him but now that a baby is involved - its another story.

See darling if i were in ur shoes, i would definately confide in someone that is trustworthy - someone like your mum not even a friend cause they will reveal your secret later on - i suggest your mum.
You really need to seat down with this new guy and talk with him. Ask him what he would do if you mistakenly got pregnant for him.
See his reaction and i just wanna ask you - do you really know this guy that well?

Think very well cause guys will say anything, and you know he will use this against you if you decide to get married or run away with him.

I would say you are treading in deep waters if you think the grass will be greener on the other side. Your husband didnt maltreat ya- he only went away, and you loved him enough to let him pay your bride price and marry you.

Cut your ties with this new guy cause let me tell you this isnt love, its just infactuation, he was the care giver at the time and you fell for him. Dont bring too much disgrace and shame on your family, dont give yourself a bad name cause this could turn araound and bite you in the arse.
Distant yourself with this guy, HE IS TROUBLE and he has nothing to offer you.
His family will never give you peace in the home cuase they know how you met an you were married, then you got pregnant for him.

Phone ur husband and give him an ultimatum, tell him you are lonely and u want him around and if he doesnt succumb you will leave him and tell his family the same thing.
Then see what he says and about that pregnancy (dont tell this guy you are pregnant) - child dont be fooled. NO RESPONSIBLE MAN WILL SLEEP WITH YA WHEN THEY KNOW YOU ARE MARRIED - LET ALONE GET YOU PREGGERS.

That new guy is no good, even if you and ur hubby split up, i would say find someone else and dont get with that guy, he is trouble.

ckc:

please disregard this post as someone hacked into my i.d and used it to send this trash.

una neva still hear say somebodi hack him/her computer? so una dey reply to false story lol hehehe

lol ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ultrafem:

una never still hear say somebodi hack him/her computer? so una dey reply to false story lol hehehe

i was just about to say the same ooh lol.

but anyway, someone out there going through similar situation might benefit so it might not be a bad idea dropping some 2cents. the story doesn't sound unnatural

omg U in real mess mate but everything in life is possibe u can get out of it

Ckc or what do you call ur self.I thought a rule here says you should respect other memebers.you cry of hackn ur add but forgot that you were supposed to sign off which you did not docos dt system was meant only for you.when a thief is blamed on one hand,a careless keeper should also be blamed on the other hand.I was so down that i forgot to log in my own add and went straight to post the topic.
Adeboo my dear I would answer you questions one after the other
1.I just let my mum know 2day and she's yet to recover from the shock
2.I dont have any child yet
3.am 2 months
4.My husband did not return,he's always giving excuse and promising to return the next yr.
5.We have so many things in common and he understands me more than my husband that's a military man that always wants his order to be carried out to the last.

Re: Am In A Mess! and i take it U aint happy with that yea

dont be then, let da mess be in U Rather!

As ultrafem has said, no responsible man will start having affair with a woman who already has her dowry paid . Except you didn't tell him and that makes you personally a super irresponsible lady . I can understand this issue of loosing affection and attention in a relationship. But if you don't like this guy or understand him why did you allow for a traditional wedding in the first place.
My advice is this, this new guy and his family will definitely get back at you in the soonest future if you end up going with him and he knows your full and real story. Your dowry paid husband may not take things lively even if he has fault. You have to tell your mother in the quickest time, she should be ready to become a nanny soonest ( i won't advice you to do anything to your pregnacy). Compel this guy to come home then take that hard step to tell him, he is not going to kill you, the worst is to return the dowry and life goes on with shame on you. Otherwise , God interferes and he still accepts you against all odd. For now just zero your mind on the two guys because it's looks certain that you may be loosing them both at the end.

@CKC - omo people are noting some seriously good advise down on here o, be a saint and let te hacker come bk n read these responses - u never knw they might be fo real!