I just received a call from my brother weeping bitterly and I've tried to calm him down but it's like I'm not making any headway at all. Please I need your advice urgently

He started dating this lady 3 years ago, though he had someone he wanted to marry but due to distance between them they had to call the relationship off even when it's clear that they loved themselves dearly. To heal the wound easily he started dating this lady in question after six months of sabbatical leave.

The lady is a Sabbath while my brother attends the Redeemed but they had an agreement (from what he told me) that church or religious differences won't affect their relationship. From his statement they agreed that they must choose another church outside theirs to avoid one feeling cheated which she accepted and to make everything beautiful between them, after their traditional marriage they relocated to another state.

Each time my brother ask the lady to get set for church she would get angry and tell him that she can't change her church. Today, as he came back home to see his family, surprisingly, the lady had gone to her church (Sabbath) with their daughter.

Though, from my findings, the church isn't his major problems but her church doctrines

He said that he would call the marriage over today. That he can't stand the doctrines practiced in his home.

Any idea on what to tell him will be cherish please.

And that is why he is crying....


I pity him



The earlier he asserts himself in his home the better for him. He must be a sissy for him to think of calling d marriage off based on such flimsy excuse.

Tell your brother that I said He should calm down...

Marriage is not what u enter and Jump out Anyhow...

I don't know what they agreed on before marriage... it's important that they stick to their Original agreement.

If the Wife is Stubborn about it! He should not fight her... he should ignore but Ensure his kids are not involved with her..

With Prayers, she will obey and submit

Make I sit down here dey look

Lalasticlala

BC of this small issue, your bro needs to grow up.

He can't force the lady to quit her church, he can only stop her from taking his children to same Church.

ogawisdom:
BC of this small issue, your bro needs to grow up.

He can't force the lady to quit her church, he can only stop her from taking his children to same Church.

I suggested same to him but he said before now he warned her that if she must go to her church that she should not go there with his child but the lady insisted that the child is also hers.

I just finished speaking with him now. Up till now the lady hasn't come back, that's also one of the problems. Maybe the church stays long before they finish their service

stansaintly:


I suggested same to him but he said before now he warned her that if she must go to her church that she should not go there with his child but the lady insisted that the child is also hers.

I just finished speaking with him now. Up till now the lady hasn't come back, that's also one of the problems. Maybe the church stays long before they finish their service

How old is the child? church is a sensitive matter and should be handled carefully. He should not worry too much about it the children will decide the church to go when they are off age.

married women are supposed to join their husbands church but some of them will not agree to it and u can't force them

ogawisdom:


How old is the child? church is a sensitive matter and should be handled carefully. He should not worry too much about it the children will decide the church to go when they are off age.

married women are supposed to join their husbands church but some of them will not agree to it and u can't force them

I can't really tell her age but I guess she should be two years

ogawisdom:
BC of this small issue, your bro needs to grow up.

He can't force the lady to quit her church, he can only stop her from taking his children to same Church.

That was not the oral agreement sir.. It was agreed that they will change church so that no one was cheated as they got married... So based on that, the lady going back to her church is a bridge of contract.. and could be seen as deception in order to gain or achieve an aim or target...

Nothing like forcing her... she agreed to it before they got married...

Though I suspect that was not only the reason why the man was unhappy.....

Richy4:


That was not the oral agreement sir.. It was agreed that they will change church so that no one is cheated as the got married... So based on that, the lady going back to her church is a bridge of contract.. and could be seen as deception in order to gain or achieve an aim or target...

Nothing like forcing her... she agreed to it before they got married...

Though I suspect that was not only the reason why the man was unhappy.....

The agreement was for the purpose of the wedding only I guess, anyway what if she refuses to change church?

oral agreement is not tenable

This story is funny sha.

1. The truth is your brother should never have married her in the first place.

2. I feel there is more to this whole issue than just church.

3. Since there is an agreement between them before marriage, he should allow her go to her church peacefully but not with their child. But from what I read I doubt it's possible since he even visits his own family.

4. If the pastor of her church is God-fearing, I think you should pay him a visit. Maybe this will help change her mind.

ogawisdom:


The agreement was for the purpose of the wedding only I guess

The OP is the only one that can clarify if it was on permanent basis or temporal as u said..

Richy4:


The OP is the only one that can clarify if it was on permanent basis or temporal as u said..

The agreement was for them to come together as husband and wife and build a happy home since none was/is willing to go to another's church. That's the main reason they decided not to have church wedding. They relocated to another place just to start a new life and agreed to start a different church so that none will feel cheated

I was on the phone with the lady. She's just going home since morning she left for church.

ogawisdom:


The agreement was for the purpose of the wedding only I guess, anyway what if she refuses to change church?

oral agreement is not tenable

Verbal agreement or oral contract are generally valid and legally binding as long as they are reasonable and were made in good faith... look it up anyway

stansaintly:
I was on the phone with the lady. She's just going home since morning she left for church.

Na wa o


Since morning till past 5pm?


Is she alright upstairs?

No wonder the husband is thinking of breaking up. What's the use marrying a woman when she will not be available on Saturdays, and spend the whole day in the church?
When the husband start beating her now? She will quickly snap her face filled with blood with broken tooth and post online.

That's how one of my neighbors beat up his wife after warning her several times to stop weekly church service, Mondays and Wednesdays. Cause she leaves home in the mid afternoon while he's still at work then come back home at night from 9pm.
This. Man is already back from work around 5pm. That's how he will start preparing his food and food the children will eat, cos his wife left the kids with house help. The man has complained taya, she no dey listen. Very stubborn wife.
And he married her when she was very young working as house help in one lady's restaurant in the village. He was the one who freed her from job of househelp, paid her bride price, bring her to Lagos, feed her well. She don fat now look like yokozuna

She now talks back at the husband, that she can't leave her church or stop serving God, that the husband is the devil.

I look at both of them in amazement as they both table their grudges before my mum, when she was alive years back.

Chai! Some women can be so stubborn. The man beat her one day and threw her things out. She fought him back and threw her things in

Na wa o


Later, neighbours had to take her elsewhere for safety.

Women ehn?

"Shakes head. "



Op , your brother need to call family meeting and someone she respects to talk to her and advise her.

I'll run away from you if you carry church matter for head.

victorian:







Na wa o


Since morning till past 5pm?



Is she alright upstairs?

No wonder the husband is thinking of breaking up. What's the use marrying a woman when she will not be available on Saturdays, and spend the whole day in the church?
When the husband start beating her now? She will quickly snap her face filled with blood with broken tooth and post online.

That's how one of my neighbors beat up his wife after warning her several times to stop weekly church service, Mondays and Wednesdays. Cause she leaves home in the mid afternoon while he's still at work then come back home at night from 9pm.
This. Man is already back from work around 5pm. That's how he will start preparing his food and food the children will eat, cos his wife left the kids with house help. The man has complained taya, she no dey listen. Very stubborn wife.
And he married her when she was very young working as house help in one lady's restaurant in the village. He was the one who freed her from job of househelp, paid her bride price, bring her to Lagos, feed her well. She don fat now look like yokozuna

She now talks back at the husband, that she can't leave her church or stop serving God, that the husband is the devil.

I look at both of them in amazement as they both table their grudges before my mum, when she was alive years back.

Chai! Some women can be so stubborn. The man beat her one day and threw her things out. She fought him back and threw her things in

Na wa o


Later, neighbours had to take her elsewhere for safety.

Women ehn?

"Shakes head. "



Op , your brother need to call family meeting and someone she respects to talk to her and advise her.

As if you saw him. He entered kitchen himself cos he said he gave her money for food. Lol and behold she didn't come back on time so he had to make food cos he wasn't sure if his daughter even eat

There is another topic where someone is asking if she should continue a relationship where the church is totally different from hers. She should come and see.
Personally since they agreed, she should make attempt to keep their agreement.
Tell your brother that it's either he stands his ground now or get use to it but all in all, peace should reign at the end of the matter.

over SaBI.mummy's boy that for ur bro while u re a brother pokenoser.i hope any issue he has at home he will keep calling you.what is ur business in their marriage.cant he handle this little issue .na wa to.pls face front ND mind ur business oga.u go and marry.so tey u Kno their initial agreement.leave ur brother and the wife to quarrel and settle themselves.its challenges in marriage that makes the bond stronger.ur brother was crying;give am feeding bottle.

Your brother is to blame here.
The issue should have been discussed before marriage but
some men believe that they can manipulate their wives into
doing their bidding.

What exactly is his cry about? Is he crying for lack of sex or lack of food?
Katikati

The truth is that he doesn’t love that woman.

He only married her out of pity and she was a rebound from his last relationship. He is looking for any excuse to leave his wife because he’s still in love with his ex. You bringing up his ex had nothing to do with his story but it’s significant because she’s the cause of all of this. Biko, tell your husband to divorce the poor lady so he can be the one he truly loves.

I am a Muslim, I am married to a Christian. We married at her Church. We have been married for 7 years plus. We do have issues just as every other marriage but Religion is never any of our issues. If you cannot love a fellow Christian, how would you love a Muslim or an Aetist?

Saff:
The truth is that he doesn’t love that woman.

He only married her out of pity and she was a rebound from his last relationship. He is looking for any excuse to leave his wife because he’s still in love with his ex. You bringing up his ex had nothing to do with his story but it’s significant because she’s the cause of all of this. Biko, tell your husband to divorce the poor lady so he can be the one he truly loves.

oshey woman activist!!

efighter:
I am a Muslim, I am married to a Christian. We married at her Church. We have been married for 7 years plus. We do have issues just as every other marriage but Religion is never any of our issues. If you cannot love a fellow Christian, how would you love a Muslim or an Aetist?

I am happy for you man...

But Love and keeping/ honouring a contract is a different thing.

I love you.. u cannot mess or cheat on me.. and i will never cheat on you...Contract/ agreement...

I will honour u with my body all my life....Agreement/Contract

We will not marry in your church or in mine.so that no one will get cheated as we start a new live together Contract / Agreement...

If someone goes contrary to that agreement, do you think the other party or partner as this case may be will be happy? Why was it so difficult for the woman to keep to what was agreed upon before the marriage and it has to be the man that was blamed for not loving her enough. ... Do u think the case of cheating on one's spouse was the only marital agreement/contract that cannot be over looked?

The last time I checked marriage got certificate..and it is contractual..

Richy4:


I am happy for you man...

Love and keeping/ honouring a contract is a different thing.

I love you.. u cannot mess or cheat on me.. and i will never cheat on you...Contract/ agreement...

I will honour u with my body all my life....Agreement/Contract

We will not marry in your church or in mine.so that no one will get cheated as we start a new live together Contract / Agreement...

If someone goes contrary to that agreement, do you think the other party or partner as this case may be will be happy? The last time I checked marriage got certificate..and it is contractual..

Thank you my brother. A lady up faced me as if I'm siding my brother. No, far from it cos I will have my own family tomorrow.

stansaintly:


Thank you my brother. A lady up faced me as if I'm siding my brother. No, far from it cos I will have my own family tomorrow.

You did not do anything wrong man...U were only concern about your brother... any reasonable and family oriented individual will do the same... Only give your brother advice that will not destroy the family... I pray they iron out this issue peacefully... I for one I dislike anyone that can't keep or stick to an agreement.. it puts me off....

stansaintly:
I just received a call from my brother weeping bitterly and I've tried to calm him down but it's like I'm not making any headway at all. Please I need your advice urgently

He started dating this lady 3 years ago, though he had someone he wanted to marry but due to distance between them they had to call the relationship off even when it's clear that they loved themselves dearly. To heal the wound easily he started dating this lady in question after six months of sabbatical leave.

The lady is a Sabbath while my brother attends the Redeemed but they had an agreement (from what he told me) that church or religious differences won't affect their relationship. From his statement they agreed that they must choose another church outside theirs to avoid one feeling cheated which she accepted and to make everything beautiful between them, after their traditional marriage they relocated to another state.

Each time my brother ask the lady to get set for church she would get angry and tell him that she can't change her church. Today, as he came back home to see his family, surprisingly, the lady had gone to her church (Sabbath) with their daughter.

Though, from my findings, the church isn't his major problems but her church doctrines

He said that he would call the marriage over today. That he can't stand the doctrines practiced in his home.

Any idea on what to tell him will be cherish please.

If he is that unhappy and she is unwilling to change..... Request your bride price back..... Simple.....

u haven*t told us d doctrine and u are askin for advice.is like giving someone question papar without amswer sheet to write on