How Do You Deal With Loss? - Family - Nairaland
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| How Do You Deal With Loss? by madamGift(f): 4:47pm On Dec 20, 2018 |
This is me trying to put my emotions into writing.. Growing up with my mum wasn't quite easy. She was a disciplinarian and I was a stubborn child. She would flog the hell out of me and punish me so much until my dad comes to my rescue. At some point I even asked my dad if this woman was the one who actually gave birth to me. Eventually somewhere along the line in my teenage hood, we became close friends! She was my best friend, my confidant and everything good you could think of. She came to my aid when things were so rough even when it wasn't quite convenient for her. I graduated, even got a job before NYSC and then NYSC. My sister recently graduated as well. My mom was super proud. The next pressure became marriage! Gift get married...get married.. 2019 is your deadline oh she would say jokingly! She called me every blessed day.. My mum would give me 15 missed calls straight.. she would call and call and wouldn't stop until I pick up, when I eventually did pick up, I would scream and complain about the so many calls and she would just calmly say..sorry ma, I just wanted to hear your voice or tell me something before she forgets it! I had promised to come home on the 27th of December for new year.. She even asked that I get her some items from lagos.. 11th of December 2018, She called me in the morning as usual.. we talked and talked and gisted and laughed and she mentioned she was feeling stressed and had seen her doctor the previous day. I urged her to get adequate rest and promised to call in the evening to check on her. Past 4pm same day, I was called and informed my sweetest mum of only 54 years had passed on in her sleep. 11th of December, 5days before I turned 25. 12th of December I flew into Port-harcourt from Lagos as early as I could because I didn't believe it. Only to see for myself, my mom's body in the mortuary. I can't begin to explain the pain I feel.. only those who have experienced it can relate. She laboured and laboured for us and just when she was about to begin to eat the fruits of her labours, she has left me! There is this feeling of emptiness I can't describe. My chest hurts off and on. People around have been trying to console me telling me God knows why? Does He? My mum was the strongest in the entire family at large, why will she leave us so soon? She wasn't even sick for us to say we tried our best to take care of her or there wasn't enough money to give her the proper medical care she needed? No terminal disease? Just gone like that? How can I deal with this? |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by sholay2011(m): 4:55pm On Dec 20, 2018 |
So sorry about your loss ma. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by Nobody: 5:04pm On Dec 20, 2018 |
U will heal. Give yourself time and mourn as much as you can. Gradually, the pain in your heart will ease. Even on the long run, some days may look like the first day you heard she died as u remember those things u usually do together, what only her can do for you, give in when the urge is there but you will feel refreshed later and also remember that she won't be at rest seeing you down always. So make her happy by picking yourself up and continue moving and doing those things you know that will make her happy. It's well dear  1 Like |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by Omoluabi16(m): 11:18pm On Dec 20, 2018 |
Dealing with grief. .. Wail if you must. Let it all out.Never allow it to become a pent-up emotion. surround yourself with people you can count on.Try to dwell on the good times, memories or pictures that'll make you smile.Talk about her as much as you can with siblings or people who knew her well. Remind yourself that you are where you are today because of your mom's effort and be thankful for that. This helped me a lot then.It will be a long painful ride and a scar which will never go away, but you will smile again. Be strong. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by NormalThing: 6:53am On Dec 21, 2018 |
madamGift:  No other way to appreciate your mother's love to you than to show your siblings such love and care. Be there for them. You are now their mother. Take heart. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by AlfaAce(m): 8:31am On Dec 22, 2018 |
madamGift: |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by stinggy(m): 6:55am On Dec 27, 2018 |
Just seeing this.... madamGift I'm deeply sorry for your loss May God bless her soul. Please stay strong and don't be depressed, if not for anything, for your dad and siblings. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by sisisioge: 7:21am On Dec 27, 2018 |
Oh my! So sorry about your loss...she's surely in a better place watching over you. May God grant her good passage. Pele darling. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by Nobody: 8:53pm On Jan 13, 2019 |
madamGift: I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly the pain you are feeling. please take heart and accept my condolences. it will take time before you can heal, but time will blunt the pain. the gap can't be filled though. whenever you remember her, which I presume is always, talk to her like she's there. because those we love never truly leave us. they become even closer to us now. take heart. sending you an e-hug. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by Chommieblaq(f): 10:30pm On Jan 13, 2019 |
I understand how you feel, my deepest condolences to you and your family. With time you will learn to live with the pain, somedays you won't feel it and some others days you will feel the way you felt the first day (same you feeling now). In all be strong, don't loose focus, do your mum pride, take consolation in the fact that God probably needs an angel home, and have to call her back. Sending my love and e-hugs to you. Be strong Sis |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by Connoisseur(m): 10:55pm On Jan 13, 2019 |
I am so sorry for your loss. Even though i have not list anybody ass close like this, I can understand how good be feeling at this time. Do not bottle it inside, express it and then overcome it. The heart at some point will learn to deal with the pain, even though it could never go away completely. A day will come when you could share memories of her with others without shedding a tear. |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by IamaNigerianGuy(m): 6:45am On Mar 25, 2019 |
madamGift: Just saw this. So sad. How are you doing ? |
| Re: How Do You Deal With Loss? by skyhighweb(m): 8:43pm On Dec 04, 2019 |
mine was my step dad people thought he was my real dad, its beem roughly a month now am still not my self been skipping meal and silently asking God of he tried. 1 Like |
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