[center][/center]Sapioverts.com


My struggle with accepting my reality- You walk into a school. Probably to visit a sibling or a cousin. At first, you try to notice everything happening around you, from the security men to the school kids excited to see their parents who are even more excited to see them. You even laugh a little under your breath when you notice how badly interlocked the ground is.

Then, you see him. The shooter wearing black sweats and a grey hoodie that seems oversized for his skinny body. He is holding a gun. And soon, everyone around you is dead. How do you react? Where do go from there? What do you do?

Imagine being home. A place that is supposed to keep you safe as opposed to the outside world where the devil and his cohorts lurk. Suddenly, your building collapses on you. You try to remember if your kid sister made it outside the gate and if your amebo neighbour Mama Chi was still in her house. How do you prepare your mind to stay strong? How do you assure yourself that maybe someone will find you beneath the rumble?

Now, I want you to get back from that horrible walk through the myriad of catastrophic things that could happen. I need you to remind yourself that you have no control over so many thing because actually, you don’t. According to John Barth, the story of your life is not your life, it is your story.

My struggle with accepting my reality-Whether you believe it or not, I am one of those people who get stuck in a world of denial. And trust me, this doesn’t happen because all my nightmares become my dreams or because my life is so good that every single catastrophe throws me off.

Visit our website @Sapiovert.com, Enjoy!

I actually think my brain lazy, so instead of facing issues, it tries to misinterpret a catastrophe as part of one of my many nightmares. It’s just really hard for me to accept that the molded clay which is my life, has one more crack in it.

I remember when I had this massive injury on my knee a few years ago. I was walking upstairs to my class when I ran into two boys who were in a deep argument about God knows what, probably football. I remember their voices talking loudly at each other while I was still deciding how to walk past them without interrupting their quarrel. I can’t remember what lead to that moment, but I heard their voices getting louder as they stared at me and soon all my classmates were out of their classes running towards me.

Apparently, a whole set of louvres crashed into me, with little shards of glass displaced all around my legs and the biggest shard rooted deep inside my right knee, there was blood everywhere. I didn’t feel any pain at all, I didn’t even feel the weight of the glass on my right leg, I was in extreme shock.

I was immediately rushed to the school clinic where I started feeling the pain from the tiny cuts on my legs but my brain was unable to register the fact that a large shard of glass was stuck on my knee. Through all the different sizes of injection needles and intravenous saline, I refused to accept that I nearly lost a limb.



Fast forward to a week later when the wound got really infected and the pain came crashing in. I was then informed by the doctor that the glass shard narrowly missed a very important nerve and I would have been paralyzed from my knee down, that was when I finally accepted that I had a wound on my knee. The sight of the wound reminded me, and the excruciating pain tearing through every part of my body, made me believe, and for the first time since the incident, I cried. I wanted the pain to stop.



The sight of the wound reminded me, and the excruciating pain tearing through every part of my body, made me believe, and for the first time since the incident, I cried.

My struggle with accepting my reality- At different times in my life, it’s always been a conundrum for me, accepting that something bad has happened. No matter how little or big the problem is. In my mind, I would often create this bubble. A place where I feel safe and in complete denial. The bad news is that the bubble always bursts. There is no good news.

There was this time that for three months, I believed I was asleep, I believed that I was in an unending nightmare, so, I stopped looking before crossing the road and I stopped being being careful with the kitchen knife. I was waiting for the nightmare to be over, to wake up and give a yawn and pray to God for a good night sleep, it never happened.

Anytime I hear a person I love is dead, my brain rewards me by giving me a dream about that person where we are so cosy and happy together, and then I wake up excited at first until the helplessness and loneliness sets in. Usually, it knocks me so hard and it becomes extremely hard for me to move, to cry, to act and so I have to command myself to do things. Tessie, stand up and have your bath. Tessie, Amaka is really dead so knock it off and help out her family.

My struggle with accepting my reality- I just need to say this, and mind you I’m talking to myself as well, “denying your current reality will not make it go away. So, snap out of it.”

I don’t know about you, but it’s really been a struggle for me. I wish I accepted things immediately they happened instead of wishing that it was all a nightmare.



denying your current reality will not make it go away. So, snap out of it.

I wish I could stop replaying scenarios in my head. Wondering what I could have done better or if I was supposed to be out of my house that late at night or if I was supposed to be out of my house at all. If I did, if I could move past the pain, I could take a step forward instead of holding onto a last streak of hope that should have been lost. Sapioverts.com

Accepting our reality is always the first step