Can somebody love someone and still find it difficult to want to spend the rest of her life with the person (to marry the person!)
[b]I need your candid advise please![/b]

Yes ,

na wa oh

how can it be? if you love the person like u claim, why find it difficult to marry him/her?
NEARER IS DEARER!!

@blacknbold
please can you give me instances.



am confused !!

i don't think you're in love.

@hot chic
Do u think so



Honestly i am

@ Topic

I think that can be possible on one condition i.e the person you love so much is older than you are, Apart form that, i don't think it is possible on anyother condition except the person donesn't truly love you as he or she claims to.

this is a question u need 2 think about and answer by urself ain't nobody gon tell u wat it is

LOVE does NOT equal marriage

you can love someone but not feel ready/prepared to make that step with them

Marriage is not all about love (the way most of our genration seem to think-sometimes u dont even have to love someone to marry them, as long as that mutual staibility and commitment exists to bulding a life TOGETHER, love and reliability can be built)Marriage is based on long term compatibility and stability, and though u might love some one is u do not see signs on this, then ofcourse all u gonna do is love them.

YOU BOTH have to be ready to make that step into commitment and longterm dedication. and LOVE does not give u this, (it makes it easier to build), but these things do not come with love oh.!!

So don't feel bad if that is how you are feeling right now!

infact, Love in my opinion can sometimes hinder a good marriage as much as it can make it, ideally, i want to marry someone i grow to love, all that passionate love, na for ppl when get power to deal with am. Me i want someone i appreciate more and fall more in love with, as the years go by, not someone i love passionately at the start but then over the years, things dwindle.

if u feel you can handle and maintian the passion till death do u part-then think with your heart and go for it. if you think you want something more stable in ur life, think with your head. I suppse we just want diferent things from marriage, or we have different perceptions of it!

my 2kobo!!

@iice, thank u mah, i think i noticed that!

its possible. u myt love sm1 but cant stand d person 4 d rest of ur life. marriage take a lot of courage, dats why u see some ppl wld be so in love but the marriage wont work even dou dey try cos its way different from love or a relationship.

therez a possibility neva been a victim of true love thou

@ goldie-
so watz rilly the difference between em two love and relationship

My twin (Luxoire), there you go again reading my mind. I know twins share some organs but definitely not the mind

@ topic

As i was reading the topic from beginning, i was so baffled and shaken to see that lots of people were still living in the "ignorant" age, but some did make my day.

Could this be love?? Yes it can . . Does it have to end in marraige?? Not necessarily

Luxoire mentioned thinking with your heart or your head, I believe in thinking with both, let me explain

heart = love
head = compartibility

With both of them i think you're unbeatable. Now none of them gurantees a happy married life. That's where "luck" enters the picture.Some have gone in with their heads, and come out heart-broken, some have gone in with their heatrs and come out of ittotally crushed and there are some who have gone in with both and come out pounded and worn-out. Its all about destiny and luck

Some even without the compartibility can make it work, because love they say is "enduring, compromising, understanding, peaceful and all the rest on the list", while some with the compartibility make it wirk by growing to ove each other

But on the other hand, marriage should not be doubted, its not something you should go into with cold feet, if you don't feel its the right partner for you(the love not withstanding, I've seen couples madly in love, but for one reason or the other not feel like they were meant to be). Be sure you're ready to beat the odds, Cos that gives you a stronger will to keep on moving, the gallops not withstanding

No matter what, let it be your decision, Cos you'd rather live regretting a mistake you chose and did than one done by someone else on your behalf!!!

BREAK IT DOWN CUTE ASS

I once had a girl who seriously loved me , i mean she was crazy about me but she told me ho ha that if i couldnt impress her family financially and gift wise, then i should forget about getting married to her. [Ofcourse that pissed me off] But its really possible to love someone but not spend the rest of your life with the person.

wow- wat a tale so pathetic, but i think wen am deeply in love i dnt care bout anyone nt even my family cos they wudnt keep dat love still in next 10 years

Thanx everyone for ur reply
I really appreciate it
But I still need more reply pls

Well, first off Lux hunnie I so luv ur posts wudnt have said it better myself.

Chinnys, bottom line is if u do really luv this chap u have to ask urself that question, which is how long do u intend wanting to luv the guy? and Not if u guys r compatible!!

Most Nigerian and African marriages werent started with compatibility tests!!! Just ask ur folks at home and u'll hear stories of crazy escapades but they werent compatible but HELL luvd each other like crazy and ended up getting married!!

So my dear, pls ask urself if luving this guy is a short or long term thing, cuz u might not really be in luv u know, might be an obsession or worse, alot of people have seen or experienced things like that. Hell u might just have a mad crush on the guy but ur inner self is telling u that he's not the 1

Think about it and lastly pls ladies think wit ur HEART first, helps to make relationships alot smoother and more lasting.

I definately sud be Teaching this stuff!!!

Still KING

x

x

well, Love is a very funny feeling, it shivers a guy's timbers and shudders a lady's mind. While Love leads to marriage i would say that Marriage is not the culmination of all love affairs. There are other things to marriage other than love.
Such as maturity and other factors. You would need to assess you situation and make a projection, feelings do deceive but ask yourself some questions.
1. Would i still feel the same way about this fella in the next 5, 10,15 or 20 years?
2. If the major factor(s) that makes me love this fella gets lost over time, would my feelings remain the same?
3. Does this fella feel the same way for me?
Sorry mate, but the love that goes into marriage is a 2 way thing, i would never advise you to marry someone who is not madly crazy over you. To me love is reciprocal, only when i get about twice the feeling i give.
Think twice they say, i would say think in multiples ,
Except you see divorce as an option which is not necessarily as bad as the taboo people think it is.
Enjoy

@Afro king - Thank you for the compliment huney, i'm glad someone appreciates my rantings

@cutey- sis, u know i be feeling you!! , this telepathy thing is going crazy, dont worry i'm sure some day we'll find some topic on here we disgree on, although it probably wouldnt be that bad, because we'd have different BUT VALID points