Biglittlelois:
I have no pity for women still living with an abusive, serial beating husband, he isn't beating a wood.

Richy4:

@ Bold......It is not everyone that is fortunate enough to have mother and Father in Nigeria... If it was so, then there won't be orphanages in the country.... have you ever thought of those kids that grow up in the orphanage home, what becomes of them when they grow up and gets married? who drinks their wine or took their dowry because as far as I know, not all of them get adopted.

Also, It is not everyone that is fortunate enough to get married the proper way? some started as living in boy friend and Girl friend before kids started coming.. and they automatically became couple.. Or has things changed so much in the country that everyone now gets married and pay dowry? I stand to be corrected though.

frozen70:


You are right about improper ways of people living as couple's without family commitments or marriage commitments

My stand is that women should work harder to provide for themselves incase the man turns to a monster

Many have died that way

The moment your troubles a woman's emotion you have killed her slowly

mysticwarrior:
I least expected this to be coming from a woman, if you think women who are in abusive marriage and couldn't leave because of their children deserve no pity, then I really hope you will never one day found out how very wrong you are.

Biglittlelois:



Yes it is coming from a woman, deal with it, will my pity make the husband to stop beating her? Will my pity make the woman walk away from an evil husband, knowing she can be killed real soon? I do not understand what you mean by @bolded, but if you mean the woman should continue to stay and receive continuous severe beating till she dies, because of the children, then you are the evil, wicked one who lack human sympathy.

mysticwarrior:
you are nothing talking but the height of absolute balderdash... You most be a jazebel seeing your fellow woman suffers and mock her in that kind of situation.

Biglittlelois:



No she is not suffering but she CHOOSE to suffer-big difference, and pls know the difference between mock and no pity, it will do you some good.

mysticwarrior:
judging from your comments evidence suggests you are not married, if you think the process of walking out from a marriage is as easy as throwing away an old fashion clothes then you need to visit court proceedings of couple fighting for divorce, an Abusive marriage is wrong and its clear that the problem is coming from somewhere, it could be from the man, it could be from the woman and it could also be from both sides. Walking out of marriage is not as easy as you think and I strongly believe you have not be taken to the altar yet to exchange marital vow of " FOR BETTER AND FOR WORST UNTILL DEATH DO YOU PATH".

Amijos:
A friend is currently admitted in the hospital due to terrible injuries inflicted on her by her huaband in Agbor Delta state. This young lady has no one in her family to defend or fight for her.
She has 3 little kids and her 1 year son is currently in the hospital with her because he was also injured by the man too.
Do you any domestic Voilence agency in Delta state? Please help this lady before she dies.

Im thinking of getting the police to arrest this man but cant even archive thus from my location right now and there's no one available to help.���

Biglittlelois:



Pls I will not exchange words with an archaic, traditional, cold, devoid of human feelings individual like you, see the way you wrote that vow in capital letters, do you think the WORST there means she should endure beatings till she dies? So because I'm not married, means I can't air my view on common sense? Are married people the only knowledgeable ones in the universe? How old are you? Who raised you? I want to believe I am replying a sane person.

mysticwarrior:
judging from your comments evidence suggests you are not married, if you think the process of walking out from a marriage is as easy as throwing away an old fashion clothes then you need to visit court proceedings of couple fighting for divorce, an Abusive marriage is wrong and its clear that the problem is coming from somewhere, it could be from the man, it could be from the woman and it could also be from both sides. Walking out of marriage is not as easy as you think and I strongly believe you have not be taken to the altar yet to exchange marital vow of " FOR BETTER AND FOR WORST UNTILL DEATH DO YOU PATH".

mysticwarrior:
atleast my instinct is very active and accurate to be able to detect that your are not married judging from the way you write, and sure you speaking to a very sane person because its only sane people that could ascertain your marital status from your write up.

UjuJoan2:


So because she swore that only death will keep them apart, she needs to stay there and die? Just so she can keep being a 'Mrs'

And if she dies, who will raise those children she brought into this world.

People are just selfish, I tell you.

Biglittlelois:



What is wrong with you? Pls stop quoting me....

mysticwarrior:
she will not die but she would go on living, there people who have experience worst and still go on to build a stronger marriage, shits happens, a chronic sickness could be cured if the cause is identified and treated and so is any marriage.

UjuJoan2:


I bet those who are rotting in the grave didn't think they were going to die either.

I really don't care about her, or the pycho husband. My concern is for the kids. They didn't ask to be born into a toxic environment.

mysticwarrior:
and what would be your reaction if that woman run back to that man tomorrow, how would that make you look before everyone? There is a high possibility of that woman going back to that man, she might come up with the excuse that she is going back to the man because of her children, she might even accuse you tomorrow of trying to brake her home.

Now that the man is in police custody and the woman has no job who would be paying the children's school fees and feeding them as well? From you writeup it is obvious you are not related by blood to this woman, and you stepping in to separate her from her husband and taking responsibility of she and the kids is a dangerous motive, and how long do you plan to do that?
Would you be here in nigeria to monitor the woman to know if she is not making attempt to reconcile with the man?

In Nigeria if you try to reconcile a couple to make peace, and make sure the cause of their problem never happens in the marriage again you would be seen as a hero, but if you encourage separation and it eventually leads to divorce you would be seen as a devil.

You are far away and probably have never lived under the same roof with this woman to know her strength and weakness in the area of making decisions and standing by it.

By tradition she is still his wife, by law she is still married to the man, you were not the one who joined them together and you shouldn't be the one to separate them.

Domestic violence and wife battering is a crime against "womanity" and its highly condemned by everyone including me, but you most understand that something caused this problem, in dealing with issues as sensitive as this you don't cut the branches but you go for the root.

If you really want to help this woman, look for people the husband admire, respects and fears, these are the kind of people that should be consulted to intervene in a situation like this.

Let them talk to the man and make him listen to reasons, then you can step in to assist the wife financially to startup a business rather than using that money to rent a house for her in lagos.

You really need to handle this issue with caution.

foreveryoung1515:
Whether she runs back or not is her problem, stop discouraging the op from helping. So, she should stay there ccuz of the children's school ffee. If she later dies, you would be among those who would ask why she didn't leave when she had the chance.

mysticwarrior:
oya you join collabo with the op to separate the marriage na, am sure the op needs the support of people like you.

bukatyne:


What really do you want?

OP wants to help, you questioned it.
Another poster said she doesn't feel pity for the woman as she has made her bed, you fight her.

What do you want people to do in this case?

bukatyne:


What really do you want?

OP wants to help, you questioned it.
Another poster said she doesn't feel pity for the woman as she has made her bed, you fight her.

What do you want people to do in this case?