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soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

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Nonsense

Is it here you get the answers or by calling a family meeting?


I don't know the way some people think sef

greedy idiot. why will you take all your Dad properties alone?

soulstalker:
I have done that, infact I have a meeting with olori ebi(family head) today. but yet my step siblings insist I must pay the money. though am planning to contribute 250k, if they can't take it then everyone should do their thing separately. btw, amen for the prayer..

Bruh give what you can and dont stress. This year alone has been tough.

How can someone that doesnt put food on your table insist that you contribute what you cannot afford?

Give what you can abeg. Won o ni fejopayin.

Oga please you said 7th position managing family properties but you haven't told us the types and worth of the properties again the sharing formula, please did family open one account for the money generated for the properties to meet the demand of the other members? those are the information you need to dash out for the nairalanders.please how MUCH have you made since you have been managing the properties? The Truth needs to be told the other members shouldn't have contributed nothing since the father properties had been committed only in your care because in a normal sense the properties should have been shared according to the wives your father married

Oh! I thank God for the mercy of islam, u don't have to spend money partying at the death of an individual who will never receive any benefit from the ceremony.All praise be to God,Lord of the worlds!!

Sometimes I get really annoyed with things like 'Family said this family said that' ...all I know is that I can never ever be coerced to do what I don't wanna do or do pass myself because of silly traditions. E no dey e no dey..who naked no dey put hand for pocket!

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

Is it by force? Ignore them. The dead is gone....I ll rather spend money on the living and remember their good deeds while they are still alive

Are those properties Willed to you or you are just managing it for the family? Bros, be very careful and use your brain. When it comes to the issue of property people can do anything and this is not limited to any particular tribe.
Back to the issue on ground. if property was willed to you, u don't need to give account of anything but if u are just managing it for the family I thin they don't believe u and that is the reason u have to thread carefully. If u are from the southwest part of naija, the request of 500k is not really a request but a message (Aroko).
Though many advice giving here are useful but Any advice giving to u here can't work because everybody here has little information except the one u gave and advising u based on that can't lead u astray. Pls sit down yourself and digest all what has been happening before now and make a decision.
Am talking from experience. Omo araye oni shē Lori oooo
If u understand that.

500k for you alone for a 1year remembrance and 150k for the other siblings shuuuu do dey want to conduct anoda burial for your late dad? Bro tell dem your mind sey you nor get chikina and Rip to ur Dad.

seborrhic:

Very suspicious narrative.
He is even lucky his siblings seem to be the quiet types,if not,as long as there is no will,which right does the 7th child have to keep his father's properties?
I think the other siblings are poorly educated,so the op is using that advantage to keep properties to himself.
The worst that should have happened is that all properties are shared based on well known traditional ways of sharing properties,unless the father left a will.
The Op should even be sued.

...That was why I didn't bother to advice him either. The narrative is not real, definitely not in Nigeria.

Ojady:
Young man (you seem to be, going by the age of the s...

Why are you trying to make it seem like he is the victim while he is clearly the villain?

You talked about him demanding equal treatment, did he give them equal treatment?

Why should he be the only person with access to properties in a family of at least seven children.

And he is even the seventh.

If he wants equal treatment, then he needs to share the properties equally.

AfroKnight:
This is just the beginning.

Some parents are the roots of the problems in their families.

Why would you hand over all properties to one child and ask the rest to share money in bank accounts?

Your father planted a seed and is not around to watch it grow. And it will grow, believe me.

Are you still wondering why some of your elders who are better off than you still chose to bill you 500k? Keep wondering.

Anyway, I spend what I can afford to spend and nothing more. They will not be there when I’m trying to recover after spending so much.

op didn't say his late father gave him his assets, he said he is in charge of the assets because he was the only one very close to the late father. all he need is to apply common sense and share the properties or risk joining his father

Olaoye1988:

op didn't say his late father gave him his assets, he said he is in charge of the assets because he was the only one very close to the late father. all he need is to apply common sense and share the properties or risk joining his father

In a follow-up comment, he said he owns those assets.

AfroKnight:


In a follow-up comment, he said he owns those assets.

don't mind him, he is not telling us the truth. irrespective of the way the properties got to his care all he need do is to apply wisdom. when you are given a task bigger than you, all you need do is to apply wisdom and shift it to the more capable one. op is greedy, how can you a 7th child sit upon landed properties and call it just?

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

Don't let them financially abuse you. After putting the whole bills on your head, after that day they won't be there to count your losses with you.

They should draft a budget for it and everyone should contribute their quota if not they should count you out. Pere!

Africa will remain backward because of certain non progressive and evil traditions and cultures

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

Give up your daddy's properties or better call them for sharing. Why shd you alone have continuous monopolised access? That's wrong! (you gave scanty info regarding this and that's what I based my judgement on, I may be wrong).
It's because it's just one year.. If you prosper in any means they will think it's your father's properties that's making you to.
They will kill you soon you'd better share the properties with them and be very open when you do that. They only ask you that amount not for remembrance anything but to get back at you for having the sole access to your father's properties. Be wise!

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

share the properties with them, they are his children too.

This is one of the major setback in Nigeria especially within the Yorubas and Igbos. Misplacement of Priorities, why do you need to spend so much on the Dead? Why the wastages in the name of remembrance? Yet this are the same people crying government is insensitive to their plight forgetting that this 'little' things are a microcosm of our larger society.
There was a case of guy selling his kid to bury his father, why? Somebody want to buy 700k wedding gown just for day where there is no money to sustain the marriage itself, for what? Ask the ritualist, it is because of fame....
For how long? Else where in the world, bury the dead, morn and move on not these burden we have put on ourselves in the name of culture. We can be culturally progressive than regressive. Youth wake up, lets change this taboos and have a better future.

NairaLand can help by reducing all these celebrity postings, it is not helping feeble/vulnerable youths. If we do not do anything to reduce/eradicate this pattern of live it will ever remain as a yardstick for our future generations.

soulstalker:
bro i have döne that already but they don't want to believe. Besides, most of them are doing better than me financially, and far older than me. I smell hatred.

but when you were collecting their inheritance you didn't smell hatred that they are well off is no excuse for you to have everything to yourself my friend go and contribute the 500k.It is not even up to one year and you are been scammed.

Is it a must to observe remembrance ceremony? As far as my culture is concerned, if we had to observe the ceremony, the decision will be made by we siblings, not other relatives. I'm a yoruba man.

Why is it that only you have access to your father's properties? The 7th child for that matter!

Get the elders to share your father's properties among all his Children if he don't have a will.

Don't court family hatred and trouble for your self.

who's tribes are u from,na remembrance who na won use almost 2m for,why bringing nesesary out of unesesary,I knw if u have the money u wount complain online

soulstalker:
i hope so shar. Cuz me am not really into all this families stuff.

But you like to manage family properties. Guy family dey very important.

all you need do is talk to your family head.
then continue talking to your family head for that's your own head.
it might amaze you your family head will refer you to another family head to go talk to.

then from there you can still talk to that family head also.

after that I think all your family heads will be considerate and give you heads.

although some of your family heads will smile more if you talk to more family heads.

nowadays family heads can be suicidal.

all you need to do is to keep talking to your family head for that's your head.

when you are done keep talking to the family head,

lol.

what am I even saying self?
although I got filled with alchohol this afternoon,

so what am saying is that.
go and talk with your family head so you can discuss with more family head.

then you still meet the family head and explain everything to him.

then after that go and meet the family head and give him head.
because you need alchohol

so in summary I meant to say,
just go and meet your family head and after that still go and meet your family head.

oopss
its seems I got high

so in summary go and meet your family head then from there you still meet with your family head.

hahahahaha

since na only you get family head.

no me I don't also have family head

in short let me summarize what I have been saying here since

oops it seems I lost a bottle

lolzzzz

Greedy son and they might soon plan to send you to your father

So you people are contributing such huge amount of money just for the so called remembrance!
Those momey can go alone in helping poor ones in your family/community.

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..

They actually seen you as the head please don't make yourself a tail by begging them to accept what you have.
Go and present them with sum of N250 -300k and tell them that this is your contribution.

If others is paying £150 then you have done your best by paying for two heads.

You can't please them and displease yourself.
Life na jeje

My2cent

soulstalker:
exactly my thoughts o.. Am only in possession of his houses and lands. I gave them his accounts detail to share btw d family, that was some months after he died.

Did your late father will the houses and lands to you?

OgaHector:
Greedy son and they might soon plan to send you to your father

Ahn ahn!

Did your dad ask you to remember him??

soulstalker:
Good morning romancelanders, this is not right section, but i need more opinions about this thread.

December 27th will complete one year in which my dad was buried, and according to friends and family, i was told we should have a remembrance party in his memory.

I am the 7th born in the family, but the closest to my dad before his demise(none of the kids have access to his properties except me).

Now the families are tasking me big, i mean a whole 500k from me alone for the remembrance party(despite the fact they know my financial state, which i was scammed a huge sum of money months ago and i also just ventured into some business, and the registration for my 2yrs old son school by january). So my question is, why are they planning so much for the remembrance? Why did they bill me that much? Or are they possibly passing a message to me because of my dad's properties? But fact is me i don't have such amount of money on me talkless of contributing that amount? Pls ur sincere advise is needed..