The subject of today’s Abroad Life left Nigeria for the first time in 1978. After staying six years in Italy, he moved back to Nigeria briefly before moving to England with his newlywed wife. He talks about living his best life, almost dying in London, and the worst decision he ever made in his life — coming back to Nigeria.

When did you first leave Nigeria?
1978. I left for Italy. I’d gotten an admission to study computer science. I was in Italy for about six years before I came back to Nigeria.

What was Italy like?
It was difficult to learn the language, but after some time, I spoke so much Italian, it began to affect my English. I had a great time in Italy. I went on a scholarship, and after I was done with my bachelor’s degree, I did so well that my school offered me another scholarship. I was top of my class. I didn’t accept the scholarship, though. I was ready to leave Italy. I needed a change. I asked for the monetary equivalent, and they gave me. I used the money to do some business. I returned to Nigeria in 1984 with imported shoes, belts and other stuff in bulk, and sold them. I made some profit.

What was Nigeria like for you?
When I got to Nigeria in 1984, my life changed. I met my wife. I was in Lagos, going to my village in Ondo with a friend when we stopped by a vehicle park to get something. I saw her trying to get a car, we stopped the car, and I went to meet her. Luckily, she was going to the village just beside mine, so we offered her a ride and she accepted. Along the way, we stopped for me to go from the passenger’s seat up front to join her at the back. I had jokes and it was obvious that she liked me.

We dropped her at her village first and then went to ours. The next day, we were back at her village. I knew I was in love with her. I met her mum and her sister and indicated my interest in marrying her. We started talking properly after that.

What happened after that?
I started making plans to leave Nigeria again. I wanted to go back to Europe, but I didn’t want to go to Italy. I wanted to go to an English speaking country, so I decided on England. In every plan I made mentally, I factored her in. We weren’t married yet, but I added her to my plans to relocate.

When I finally decided to move, we did a small traditional wedding, planned our relocation together and settled in London. A few years later, we had our church wedding in London. Our children were there.

What was it like moving to London?
It was the best thing that ever happened to me. We got a nice house in London. In the next few years, we would have five children and my wife would get a nice job near the house so she wouldn’t have to leave the children for too long. I also got an extremely well-paying job. It was a nocturnal job. The company bus would pick me every evening and drop me off at home every morning. We also built a very nice network with friends that really cared about us. I was a happy man with his wife and his children, making a lot of money and living above comfort levels.

Everything changed when I fell sick.

What happened?
One day in 1993, I was driving and I suddenly couldn’t move my feet anymore so I drove into a wall. I didn’t have any major injuries from that incident, but when I got scanned, it was found that the reason I couldn’t move my feet was that I had a spinal problem from my neck downwards.

It was so bad that I had to have emergency surgery. I was technically almost dead. The hospital called my recovery from the surgery the miracle of the year because all the doctors were sure that the best-case scenario for me was that I would lose my ability to walk. Worst case scenario, I would die. I walked out of the hospital. I believe it’s because my family, in Nigeria and abroad, was praying for me.

After the surgery, I had an epiphany; I didn’t want to die in a foreign land. I didn’t waste any time processing the thoughts that were rushing through my mind or weigh any pros and cons. I knew I didn’t want to die there so I was sure my family and I were returning to Nigeria.

How did your wife take the decision?
She begged me with all her life, but I wasn’t hearing anything. She tried to tell me that I could get better healthcare and a better future for my children there in England, but I knew I wasn’t even going to consider her words.

When her friends found out, they came to beg me, but I wasn’t listening. Then my friends found out and came to beg me and told me to go to Nigeria but leave my wife and kids in London. That was never going to happen. It was me versus everyone, and I wasn’t backing down. I couldn’t imagine dying without seeing Nigeria. While all of this begging was going on, I got all our stuff, found a shipping service, and put them in a container to Nigeria.

Even with that, the opportunity to stay was still very available. My wife’s close friend had just gotten a divorce and was moving away from London. She had a fantastic house; much better than ours, a swimming pool and all. She said, “It’s fine if you already sent all your stuff to Nigeria. You can have my house.”

Continue: https://www.zikoko.com/citizen/returning-to-nigeria-is-the-worst-decision-ive-ever-made-abroad-life/

Pele

So so so sorry for your decision.

But later you people will come in here on Nairaland and start telling us how living in abroad is very hard compared to Nigeria, that we should manage whatever we see here in Nigeria. Oga no allow me vex for you oo.

The woman should have divorced the man immediately he made his intentions known. His children will suffer for his extreme foolishness as Nigeria has absolutely nothing to offer to young people.

.

The rest for those who can't click the link:

How did your wife take the decision?
She begged me with all her life, but I wasn’t hearing anything. She tried to tell me that I could get better healthcare and a better future for my children there in England, but I knew I wasn’t even going to consider her words.

When her friends found out, they came to beg me, but I wasn’t listening. Then my friends found out and came to beg me and told me to go to Nigeria but leave my wife and kids in London. That was never going to happen. It was me versus everyone, and I wasn’t backing down. I couldn’t imagine dying without seeing Nigeria. While all of this begging was going on, I got all our stuff, found a shipping service, and put them in a container to Nigeria.

Even with that, the opportunity to stay was still very available. My wife’s close friend had just gotten a divorce and was moving away from London. She had a fantastic house; much better than ours, a swimming pool and all. She said, “It’s fine if you already sent all your stuff to Nigeria. You can have my house.”

And so you left.
Yes. We got back to Nigeria in 1994, and somehow shortly after, I was new again. It didn’t seem like I was even sick before. I became perfectly fine, but Nigeria wasn’t what I expected it to be. Things got hard quickly. I had a lot of money at first, so I was shipping high-level medical equipment from Germany and selling them to hospitals in Nigeria.

At one point, I got involved with a popular Nigerian government hospital and after I’d shipped in the equipment and was ready to get paid, the “powers that be” started acting shady and tried to make money off the deal. If that had happened, I would have made a loss. I wasn’t going to let that happen, so I backed out of the deal and started looking for someone else to buy my equipment. I didn’t find anyone to buy until the equipment expired and I lost tens of millions of naira.

That’s where everything went south.

Did you try to go back?
We spent the next few years trying to go back to the UK. We spent tens of millions of naira processing our visas and paying immigration lawyers, but in the end, we couldn’t go back because we took our children, who were British citizens out of the country before the age of 10 without any special government authorisation, and now we were trying to bring them back in. There was a policy that worked against all that.

In the planning of it all, we took our children out of school because we didn’t think they’d be staying in Nigeria for long. They were out of school for two years.

At some point, we just had to stop and accept that we were never going back to the UK. Even our children were old enough to wake us up one day in the middle of the night and ask us to stop trying because they were tired of being in limbo. They were happy with being in Nigeria.

Coming back to Nigeria is the worst decision I’ve ever made. Things have only gone from bad to worse ever since. There’s hardly a day that goes by where I don’t think about how terrible a decision that was.

How did the move affect your relationship with your wife?
My wife is amazing. She understood that the reason I wanted to come back to Nigeria was that I didn’t want to leave my family in a strange place if I died, and it wasn’t for a selfish reason, so when things got rough, she stood by me fully. There was no negativity whatsoever. It was for better or worse, and she stayed with me.

How’s your health now?
Two years ago, I had a mild stroke. It wasn’t great, but I’m recovering. At least, now, I can speak freely and do some stuff by myself.

Do you plan on trying to leave again?
I’m not actively trying. I’m settled here with my family and I’ve accepted that. If somehow, I got the opportunity to leave though, I’d grab it with both hands.

This type of wife is difficult to find this days.

Be empathetic... the man thought he was going to die, at least have some sympathy.

tensazangetsu20:
The woman should have divorced the man immediately he made his intentions known. His children will suffer for his extreme foolishness as Nigeria has absolutely nothing to offer to young people.

It doesn't always have a happy ending moving from overseas to Nigeria permanently

Village people at work. Them don make you come join dem now you are all equals

Especially with our darling daddy now in charge and driving the nation into the abyss of obscurity.

This story touched me. I feel for the man because I have also been considering moving back to Nigeria.

The thing is if you have capital you can easily start good business in Nigeria that can make you rich. But the uncertainty...the randomness of Nigeria is a huge problem. You can't plan. A very volatile environment Nigeria.

79733139:
Be empathetic... the man thought he was going to die, at least have some sympathy.

whats the problem with dying in England? Las laa they waybill his corpse if he so much desires to be buried here

NnamdiN:
whats the problem with dying in England? Las laa they waybill his corpse if he so much desires to be buried here

he is a selfish idiot.
is there any diff death in Nigeria that he preferred to come back?
he just didnt think this through.
now his folly had affected his entire family.

Wow! What a woman! God bless all supporting wives out there. It is so hard to find a woman like that these days.

My wife is very supportive too.

I won't forgive him if I am one of his child. Stupid decision.

If the story is real

The kids can later apply for visas with a good immigration lawyer...

If the story is real

The kids when they grow up can apply for visas with a good immigration lawyer...

selemempe:
This story touched me. I feel for the man because I have also been considering moving back to Nigeria.

The thing is if you have capital you can easily start good business in Nigeria that can make you rich. But the uncertainty...the randomness of Nigeria is a huge problem. You can't plan. A very volatile environment Nigeria.

shelve any plan of returning to Nigeria. even that your so called good business can crumble in twinkling of eyes. no government will support you.

punisha:



he is a selfish idiot.
is there any diff death in Nigeria that he preferred to come back?
he just didnt think this through.
now his folly had affected his entire family.

imagine, the man need strong koboko

punisha:



he is a selfish idiot.
is there any diff death in Nigeria that he preferred to come back?
he just didnt think this through.
now his folly had affected his entire family.

he would have just gone home alone, his family would have been able to help him return when the jazz clears from his eyes now everyone's stuck . Village people strong

79733139:
Be empathetic... the man thought he was going to die, at least have some sympathy.

What is special about dying in Nigeria?

He was selfish with his decision, disregarding the implication it would have on his children' future. I am imagining how often his children wished they never lost their chance of being British Citizens.

Omo if I see any legit opportunity to get out of this shit hole country,i will just do bye bye to everyone.
I will never come back, only for family visit and I am going back.
Final.

To you, it may look like a wrong decision but it's not entirely a wrong deceision because for all the know, you could have been a dead man by now. The weather was obviously not for you hence the various aliments that afflicted you. Just be thankful to God in every situation you find yourself.

The most important thing is you had a good life and wife while it lasted. Where you couldn't get to before retiring, your children will supercede it.

This is what happened when the man being the head of the family makes decision that are selfish without considering how it could affect others negatively.

He could have come to Nigeria alone and let his wife and kids stay behind so that his kids can atleast achieve the British citizenship status which could have been an advantage for him today and the entire as well.

Now the kids will be struggling in this shithole and continue the struggle of “e go beta” from where their father’s stopped, the kids will wished their dad didn’t brought them back to Nigeria.

Interesting story.

Later dem go say village people no dey para.

Reason the matter nah.

See as dem push you from Italy come house.

Remote you go UK, pause your leg, smash you for wall, loose all the nuts wey dey your head and remote you come back to come dey play Draught with dem and drink alomo bitters.

As you wan play over 2.5 , sense no come tell you say make you leave your children out of it?

You messed up those kids life abeg.

And I cut cap for the woman wey you marry. Na your rib gan gan na im God take do her.

Telegram234:
Omo if I see any legit opportunity to get out of this shit hole country,i will just do bye bye to everyone.
I will never come back, only for family visit and I am going back.
Final.

Seun, don't you think nairaland need more reactions?

A mere like is not expressive enough for the reaction this elicited in me.

A wow and haha would be cool.

I guffawed , man.

BigCabal:
[i]The subject of today’s Abroad Life left Nigeria for the first time in /returning-to-nigeria-is-the-worst-decision-ive-ever-made-abroad-life/

Strange case. The manner in which he just packed up and left is puzzling. Who leaves without ensuring a single family member had complete documentation after spending years in a foreign land? Truly odd

blizard44:


Seun, don't you think nairaland need more reactions?

A mere like is not expressive enough for the reaction this elicited in me.

A wow and haha would be cool.

I guffawed , man.

Boss u think say na play.
Omo no be joking matter ooo

By the time I leave this country, I will place a curse on any of my descendants that wish to come back to Nigeria on a permanent basis.