Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like thi s but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE.  The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home".

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us BM do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL che at if there are NO real penalties for it.

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. 

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind, " NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kind of understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.

Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, ba by.

I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the undies. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying,

SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP

GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO

A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY

IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF

IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?

IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?

BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that."

No, no, no!  I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies.

right on, Kobe. I keep telling my friends they need to EXPECT to be treated like a queen, so act like one. Sex can be a beautiful part of a committed relationship, but it is NOT a relationship. As for placing blame where it belongs if my man cheats on me, yes, I DO have an ex husband, cuz i will not share - and it's not the other woman's fault. It's his. period. Now i have a very fine, honest, faithful man. Not perfect, but neither am I, but i don't need to worry bout him bringing me home some disease that will kill us. Great writing Kobe and thanks for letting a sistah know what a real man thinks!

Don't thank me, thank carrmish. The dude always lets it be known, true talk.
but nonetheless, you're very welcome.

@kobe,Word!U just talked to the virtuos woman.How abt the Golddiggers.Those who wish to reap where they didn,t sow.those that put material things 1st.those that believe they can survive by sleeping around.Those who do not cut their coats according to their cloak!Humans are by nature selfish.If a mans selfish ideas gets him his desire,he is smart.Blame the wm most times for their folly!

@ kobe True talk

I"ve made some of the mistakes u pointed out. I guess with experience and age one gets wiser.

[color=#000099][/color] hey!!! Can I chat with you ,,, you see I'm from Philippines and we have a home work regarding to Nigeria and their culture also with their education

Dude, this thread is an exemplary one, wise women will read and know whats truly in the minds of the everyday man.

kobe,
birds of the same feather flock together

your post is like begging hos and gold diggers not to move with pimps and rappers. it's impossicant. lol they're made for each other.
majority of black population is ghetto anyways (at least that's what statistics say )


i go to the bad neighbor hood in my area and the good neighborhood. The difference is CLEAR.

in the bad neighborhood, you see duraged thugs and scantily dressed hoes around. women wheeling babies, men dealing drugs
in the good neighborhood, you see people running, excercising, going on restaurant dates, walking dogs, families walking together going to cafes etc

so no. the problem isn't the woman vs the man and vice versa.
the problem is POVERTY (and BET needs to be banned too ). lol

WesleyanA:


and BET needs to be banned too . lol

LMFAO. I'm with u all the way girl.

nice post/thread,
but will people ever learn?,
i dont think so,

they will continue making the same error over n over n over again!, damn

and vise verser

can u plz add one more thing


ladies "he is cute" leads to ur asz gertting used and dumped,

hmmm common sense is not common ooooh! some ladies have got the brains of an ostrich and most men the brain of dogs, the lady get laid by the man as a result of her feeling obliged.or underpressure from the damn guy as u know most guys do the seduction this days wen u visit dem n their house,  after theve servd u 1 or 2 things they'l draw closer 2 u and start makn empty prmses dats wen the dogman characteristics cmes in nd the lady wd the ostrich brain gets brainwashed and b4 u say bingo theve laid themselves, they part ways and the guy promises 2 cal her again she goes thinkn dat she now has him 2herself, she'll say to herself,  i've got an affair! but the guy goes in, ticks her off his mind and considers her a cheap slut. 2mrrow he goes out again lookn 4 who he will lay . and dats how the circle goes on nd on, the lady then feels guilty, betrayed, and used, by then its too late for her to realize dat she was used for  pleasure there never was love but a very passionate lust existed. hmm ladies its time to be alert wen u go visitn a guy, open your eyes 2 their subtle decepts and lure. let the ladies learn to weigh and analyse a guy's word bfore swallowing both hook and sinker that way we will save ourselves alot of emotional pains and disappointments. goodluck to all the reasonable ladies.

what u said has a lot of truth to it see a lot of girls my age having sex with guys they havent even known for a week!
u should write a book and distribute it to all teen girls and grown women!

Lol. True word

Just love bringing good write ups to the top for those who missed it.
Hope you learn from this and share with your friends

why una dey pour sand sand for guymen garri now ?!
*translation* dude why r u givin away all our codes ?! How d hell am I gonna get me some with posts like these ?!!!
Ladies pls ignore poster and post !!!!

Though this thread is old, I think I lurve this poster wow. I agree with each and everything he has said.

true talk, but it wont change shit!!!

k0be:

Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about intimacy is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of intimacy is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having intimacy with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like thi s but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home".

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us BM do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL che at if there are NO real penalties for it.

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind, " NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kind of understand back in the days when intimacy wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.

Show our azz the door if we pressure you for intimacy too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had intimacy with us. That's not how it works, ba by.

I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the undies. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying,

intimacy DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP

GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO

A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY

IF YOU TRADE intimacy FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF

IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?

IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?

BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that."

No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies.

This reads like a horror story BUT, your correct.

funny, how men think, fyi girls sleep with a man quickly because they are Hot and want to. The after cry and clinging is to deceive the man into thinking we did it because of love not because i wanted his dick inside me at that point in time.

Stupid man goes away with a big ego thinking he has dumped another heart, meanwhile she is already doing another guy and giving him the same i am an innocent girl story.

@Olugirl that is the point, is it a reward or ex-gratia, it doesnt make me to have or have not a relationship, afterall she is not a virgin even if she is do you want to give it out or not? Perharps you can keep it in a bank vault one stupid dude will still take it and opt for divorce, what a pity. The most important thing is after close door. What are your interest? Likes? Aspiration? Expectation? is their any integration, tolerance or want coincidence. After all we spend only between 10 mins and 60mins in a day to make love the rest 23hrs is to do other thing that can actually make or mar the entire thing. Nobody shoul cry foul of anything

WOw! So much truth! Love this poster!

k0be:

Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like thi s but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home".

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us BM do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL che at if there are NO real penalties for it.

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind, " NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kind of understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? there's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.

Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, ba by.

I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the undies. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a damn thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying,

[b]SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP

GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO

A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY

IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF

IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?

IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?

BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.[/b]BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out? Ladies, ladies, ladies, hit me back with some truth, not some bullshyt. I don't want to hear: "What you said don't refer to me 'cause I got my shyt together and I'm a proud black woman who intimidates men and I never made no mistakes, it's those other women who do things like that."

No, no, no! I don't want to hear you putting yourself on a pedestal because I KNOW you've made mistakes. I want you to hit me back with some TRUTH. What are BW going to do about these shady, shaky relationships that wind up in divorce court 60-70%% of the time, that's if we bother getting married at all? What are BW going to do DIFFERENT to make this shyt better? Hit me back, ladies.

The bitter truth copying and pasting it to all my girlfriends.

@ Poster.You hit the nail on the head,and honestly that post was terrific.Sisters,i'd like to add a little to what he said,a player shows the level of his game from the begining,so thinking since u're with him,he'd change is wishful thinking.If he pressures u for intimacy very early in the relationship,giving it as a condition of making the relationship work or sweet,please run,unless u want to be another statistic.A man that wants to love and respect you,would want to take his time to get to know you.

true talk though it will fall on deaf ears.

SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP

GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO

A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY

IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF

IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?

IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?

BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO YOUR P*ZZY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

gbam.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem

i have to agree.

Poverty has nothing to do with it. Just cos you have no money doesnt mean you have no morals. Money or not, bad people are still bad people!!!

Poster, thank you for the thoughts. It would lovely if everyone respected each other and we would not be in this world mess but thats a dream. If each person is responsible for themselves that would help. Instead of blaming everyone and everything for their behaviour.

Fully agree.