Being a black sheep is mainly dependent on the values your family lives by. These six Nigerian women talk about being the black sheep of their family.

Fego, 25
Both my parents are pastors. So with my hair, my partying, drinking, and dressing, I am the one that doesn’t conform. I neither go to church nor believe in the bible anymore, but they don’t know that. My hair is a major issue right now. I cut it and dyed it yellow, and my mum constantly complains. Especially when I’m home. She says how can she preach against such to her people, and her child openly doesn’t care. I don’t share their opinions on marriage or relationships either. When I told my mum I didn’t want to get married, I’m sure she added another prayer point to her nightly prayers.

Yinka, 18
My parents are Jehovah’s witnesses, and I am not interested in it. My mum expects me to get married as a virgin, but between March and now, I’ve had sex with three different people. I even went to the club this week. The funny part is that they don’t even know this stuff. The only things they know is that I send nudes, and I don’t go to church. If they knew the rest, I would be a dead sheep, not a black one.

Anita
As the first child, I’m expected to train my brothers on morality and religious things, but my principles differ from those of my parents. I’m doing my best in school, but according to my parents, I have character issues. I differ so much from their set standard that I am called deranged and a child of Satan on a daily basis when I’m at home. This is just because I’m feminist, pro-choice, pro LGBTQ, and borderline atheist.

Anu, 25
My stepbrother has a conventional well-paying job and is married with children. I, on the other hand, work a lot of jobs that include me being on my phone or laptop a lot. My mother thinks I am doing fraud. I also left my previous husband, so she is always talking about marriage and settling down.

Sandra, 24
I lived with family a lot growing up. The first time I had a general fight with everyone, I had just gotten back from boarding school, and somehow someone went through my bags and found a picture with myself and some other guys in my class. They called a family meeting on my head. It was weird because I didn’t even have a boyfriend nor had I kissed a boy at this time. They said a lot of things all in the name of trying to make sure that I don’t end up a teen mum like my mother. So, I basically started fighting everyone.

This is a big problem because, in my family, everyone wants to get involved in your life, and they are supposed to not be challenged. Also, I don’t go to church, I wear nose rings, and I like women and men. I never allowed them to tell me what to do with my life. Over time, I think I became invincible to them, or they all just chose to act like I don’t exist. Now, I only meet them at family functions if I choose to show up, and I told my mother to not give anyone my number.

Continue reading: https://www.zikoko.com/her/6-nigerian-women-talk-about-being-the-black-sheep-of-their-family/

May we not have kids that would derail from the landmark we have set, Amen.

bukatyne:
May we not have kids that would derail from the landmark we have set, Amen.

And what makes you think that the landmarks you have or will set is the proper direction for that child when they develop reason?

bukatyne:
May we not have kids that would derail from the landmark we have set, Amen.

The pastors kids see through the parents religious hypocrisy, hence want no part in it.

NUJABEZ:


And what makes you think that the landmarks you have or will set is the proper direction for that child when they develop reason?

I believe smoking, drinking and immoral lifestyle is proper direction? No 'my parents think girls should not go to school and I defied them yada yada' or 'They think marriage is the all in all and I am doing great things without marriage' bla bla bla.

My children, My landmark, the Legacy I want them to have.

1Sharon:


The pastors kids see through the parents religious hypocrisy, hence want no part in it.

By drinking, smoking, coming abortions and all sorts?

Ok.

And it is a fallacy that all religious parents are 'hypocrites'; that is the common troupe for non-religious and anti-religious people.

bukatyne:


I believe smoking, drinking and immoral lifestyle is proper direction? No 'my parents think girls should not go to school and I defied them yada yada' or 'They think marriage is the all in all and I am doing great things without marriage' bla bla bla.

My children, My landmark, the Legacy I want them to have.

You're rudderless in this matter... Your life has elements of defiance because you acquired superior reasoning and were conditioned by the Era in which you came of age... what makes you think that when your children have come of age that those landmarks and legacy you want them to have will not have become obsolete in their current frame of reference?

All I'm saying is that culture is dynamic and each newly arrived generation will discard certain practices. Prayer will not save you here, madam.

bukatyne:


By drinking, smoking, coming abortions and all sorts?

Ok.

And it is a fallacy that all religious parents are 'hypocrites'; that is the common troupe for non-religious and anti-religious people.

I never said all religious parents and religious people still recognize the hypocrisy within religious people, so I don't know where you're getting that from.

1Sharon:


The pastors kids see through the parents religious hypocrisy, hence want no part in it.

Yes! Parents do not teach their children the True Rightneses.

They say to their kids do not lie but the children see their parents lying. After that they even teach the children to Lie and praise lying.

My over all take is that 99% of parents teach their children to be wicked and evil and those parents can not cope with a Goodly and Rightly Behaved child. Such children "burn" the parents.

So in the end both parent and children are the same Ungood souls whether they appear to be God Centred religiously or not.

Both parents and children are the same

NUJABEZ:


You're rudderless in this matter... Your life has elements of defiance because you acquired superior reasoning and were conditioned by the Era in which you came of age... what makes you think that when your children have come of age that those landmarks and legacy you want them to have will not have become obsolete in their current frame of reference?

All I'm saying is that culture is dynamic and each newly arrived generation will discard certain practices. Prayer will not save you here, madam.

We are talking about MY kids abi?

Do you, let me do me.

bukatyne:
May we not have kids that would derail from the landmark we have set, Amen.