I live in London, sincerely relocating from nigeria to this place has not been easy for me,
Because my husband comes from work and puts all the frustration he has at work on me.
He nags for everything.
Its scary for me to go out with him because for every sentence i make in public, he is so concerned with my pronounciations that I cant boldly talk when he is there.
For him everyday comes with a new sickening attitude. He comes back from work nowadays complaining that bringing me to the UK is the biggest mistake he made in life.
Please people, what do you think I can do, atleast there are no kids involved right now.

Just keep praying for him and try to be more submissive, prayer changes things.

op
yes,
kill him and marry anoda husband.

Lol @topic

Misbehave! thats what you need to do. Misbehave badly.

He's just trying to pick out every little fault. Give him something big to think/talk about.


Kidding. But seriously, what is the problem here?

@poster try to be sumissive to  your husband killing him cant stop the issue.are you working?if not please try to start to keep you bussy.

lily, 145:

I live in London, sincerely relocating from nigeria to this place has not been easy for me,
Because my husband comes from work and puts all the frustration he has at work on me.
He nags for everything.
Its scary for me to go out with him because for every sentence i make in public, he is so concerned with my pronounciations that I cant boldly talk when he is there.
For him everyday comes with a new sickening attitude. He comes back from work nowadays complaining that bringing me to the UK is the biggest mistake he made in life.
Please people, what do you think I can do, atleast there are no kids involved right now.

If you know 100% that all his bad attitude has nothing to do with your own behaviour/attitude/laziness etc. If this is the case and it's all his fault, speak to him and let him know how u feel. If he does not change and you have something good back home in nigeria e.g Good job.  You should move back there before it is too late

Are you a sit at home wife?
You have to open your heart out to him though by making him understand how his various nagging and complaints are making you feel low on confidence.


PS: Thread moved to Family section where you can get good quality advice

kill him quick and see the diff between Metropolitan police and Nigerian police

why don't you just tell him how you feel

and sometimes work can be stressful too so you have to help him

@Jaybee,
I am a sit at home wife, though I am processing my docs to enable me work.
Then I am working on my accent because my accent  is certainly not the best.
I certainly aint perfect, but he is not making it any easier.

It looks like you understand his problems pretty much.
The reason it is always a good thing to marry from Nigeria if you live in Nigeria.
Most of the men and women who live abroad are damaged goods psycho-socially.
Especially if they have lived abroad of over 5 years after struggling for 'kpali' and so on.

You have 2 options.

1. Play his therapist and make him a better person by 'lovingly' putting up with his abusive nature while allowing him to go through 'rehab' with your help.

Or,

2. Just get your residency and your children ASAP. . . then bail out of the marriage or relationship,

If you are over 30. . . please, don't go nowhere. The next one will be even worse.

I could NEVER dream of marrying a man who has lived abroad. . . MOST are psychotic and extremely abusive. I could never tolerate those from ANY one.

The problem I have with MOST Nigerian men who go home to get married. Instead of pampering and nurturing their new brides. . . the become worse than "Conan the Barbarian". . . ."Tarzan of the Jungle" and "Deji of Akure" combined.

Like I have stated. . .you have 2 options depending on how old you are and/or how much being married/staying married means to you.

Killing him is not an option(even as a joke), for he is already cursed! If he dies. . .the curse transfereth unto thee!

May your God forbid!

@Op,
Get a job.
If you do that, he'll have no reason to complain.
He's frustrated cos he's probably the one footing all the bills at home.

lily, 145:

@Jaybee,
I am a sit at home wife, though I am processing my docs to enable me work.
Then I am working on my accent because my accent  is certainly not the best.
I certainly aint perfect, but he is not making it any easier.

Some men usually get stressed out when they see their woman sitting her behind at home all day watching all sort of TV whereas the other half is stressing his butt out (regardless of the situation either being ur choice or not).
I appreciate you not having sorted out your papers and i'm not guessing that's the reason why he acts up all the time but all these things do add up.

Question is do you want your relationship to work? If yes then surely you should be asking for things to do so as to change the current situation.

As per the accent, it's something that's difficult to change especially when one is already an adult. you can however improve your communications skills by taking on short communication skills whilst you are still at home.

You can also try making sure he doesn't come home seeing you watching nollywood or being on the phone acting like you don't care.

At the end of the day though, he doesn't have a right to be treating you that way but i'm sure dis dude is someone u once loved vice versa so look for solutions rather than calling it quits

@ OP: don't kill him. Find a job, share the financial responsibilities with him OR get your papers and leave him because the nagging may escalate.

[center]As unto the bow the cord is,
So unto the man is woman,
Though she bends him, she obeys,
Though she draws him, yet she follows,
Useless each without the other.[/center]

My dear whatever you do pleaseee do not start making babies.

If you don't mind,how old are you?

BTW work on that fear. You deserve better

A man marries a wife from naija and takes her to london he knws very well of her accent and how long it will take to process her paper b4 she can work, mnths into d marriage he is insulting her and putting the fear of the devil into her. That man is mean

Pls do not rush into babies world.be patient and tell him hw he is hurting u but of u wnt to watch nolluywood or watever pls feel free.Y should u be acting like a lil kid caught stealing when ur hubby is at home. Abeg enjoy he sef shld grw up no one forced him to marry u.

@meexteriox. I am so copying that.

kodewrita:

@meexteriox.                    I am so copying that.

Well the idea is obviously attractive to a man. Who doesn't want a happy slave who thinks she's in control?

@seun lol. thats not my reason oh. I just love the poetry. lol.

kodewrita:

@seun lol. thats not my reason oh. I just love the poetry. lol.

Ok

andromida:

A man marries a wife from naija and takes her to london he knws very well of her accent and how long it will take to process her paper b4 she can work, mnths into d marriage he is insulting her and putting the fear of the devil into her. That man is mean

Pls do not rush into babies world.be patient and tell him hw he is hurting u but of u wnt to watch nolluywood or watever pls feel free.Y should u be acting like a lil kid caught stealing when your hubby is at home. Abeg enjoy he sef shld grw up no one forced him to marry u.

Exactly my thought.

Another reason why getting married is the dumbest decision a man can ever make. She says he "nags" but didn't say why. She has already made up her mind to divorce him and all she wants is reassurance that she's doing the "right thing" hence the reason why she informed the public that THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. This is a lady that must have promised eternal love and loyalty but now that she has "arrived", she's suddenly discovered she has "her life" to live and is looking for every excuse to break the marriage. I sincerely hope all the pathetic wimps on nairaland who intend bringing "wives" from Nigeria are reading this. When will men ever learn?

Here comes "Mr. Bitter Kola-wale"!

Try working on how to get a job on your own, NO MAN WANTS A LEECH for a woman.

harakiri:

Another reason why getting married is the dumbest decision a man can ever make. She says he "nags" but didn't say why. She has already made up her mind to divorce him and all she wants is reassurance that she's doing the "right thing" hence the reason why she informed the public that THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. This is a lady that must have promised eternal love and loyalty but now that she has "arrived", she's suddenly discovered she has "her life" to live and is looking for every excuse to break the marriage. I sincerely hope all the pathetic wimps on nairaland who intend bringing "wives" from Nigeria are reading this. When will men ever learn?

Are we reading the same post    

lily, 145:

I live in London, sincerely relocating from nigeria to this place has not been easy for me,
Because my husband comes from work and puts all the frustration he has at work on me.
He nags for everything.
Its scary for me to go out with him because for every sentence i make in public, he is so concerned with my pronounciations that I cant boldly talk when he is there.
For him everyday comes with a new sickening attitude. He comes back from work nowadays complaining that bringing me to the UK is the biggest mistake he made in life.
Please people, what do you think I can do, atleast there are no kids involved right now.

This here is another example of how insensitive man can be . . .

If he wanted a clean, oyinbo girl, why did he have to go all the way to Naija to import one?

He wants to eat his cake and have it. Tufiakwa!

poster,
the sulky man is just stressed out that he is carrying the financial burden of the family all by himself. Once you get out of the house he won't have much to bleat about, infact you sef wont have time for his whinging not after an 8hr shift and another torturous journey courtesy of Transport For London. In the mean time speak to him and let him know how you feel and if that dont work tell him you'd be closing the "shop" till his attitude changes, that should make him sit up

harakiri:

Another reason why getting married is the dumbest decision a man can ever make. She says he "nags" but didn't say why. She has already made up her mind to divorce him and all she wants is reassurance that she's doing the "right thing" hence the reason why she informed the public that THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. This is a lady that must have promised eternal love and loyalty but now that she has "arrived", she's suddenly discovered she has "her life" to live and is looking for every excuse to break the marriage. I sincerely hope all the pathetic wimps on nairaland who intend bringing "wives" from Nigeria are reading this. When will men ever learn?

You're not making any sense

I can't believe people are asking her to 'get a job' . . .  as if that will stop the man from being an insensitive prick!  

As if it's in anyway her fault that her husband is an a55!

@ Poster

My advice . . .  Yes, get a job, and the dump his sorry a55!