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OP. if she is older than 18, legally she can be married. But whether she is matured enough to handled marriage challenges is another ball game entirely.

If she believes she is ready and understands what she is going into, I'll say 'allow her'

Does she have a meaningful income and means of livelihood? If yes then get married.

I still think she is young, I wld object to my sister getting married at that age

Natasha,,:

the question is does she want to marry him?
Is she matured enough to tackle marriage responsibilities?

She wants to marry him but if she is matured enough to face marriage challenges is what I doubt.

dayokanu:

Does she have a meaningful income and means of livelihood? If yes then get married.

I still think she is young, I wld object to my sister getting married at that age

For where? She just finished her O Level.

Sogyboy:

For where? She just finished her O Level.

What about the guy that wants to marry her, how old is he? what does he do for a living?

He is about 28. A businessman. He set sha.

Don'y allow her because 4m d way u sound she might be interested in d financial aspect of the whole thing.[/b]

Don't allow her because 4m d way u sound she might be interested in d financial aspect of the whole thing.[/b]

Sogyboy:

He is about 28. A businessman. He set sha.

have you discussed with him to find out what plans he has for her? I wouldn't support anyone letting my sister remains a liability.

My lil sister left uni in naija to marry and relocate with her husband, but we supported it after he assured us he will support her education abroad.

today she is a graduate and she earns more than the husband and they are doing very well.

@Debokan, u know I can't disallow her just for the reason that she is interested in the money. She should be, that's human nature. Besides, she might think am not interested in her welfare.
@QAM4J, he has a plan of furthering her education i.e after wedding

Does the guy support the plans that she has? Have you checked his full background? Do you know about his personality? If the business fails tomorrow I hope he has the ability to handle himself, and I hope your sister will not take it badly. What does he expect of a wife? If he wants a housewife and your sister is passionate about being a career woman, there will be problems. Likewise if it's the other way around.

Also, this guy is almost 10 years older and I can't help to think that he is cutting her life short in a major way in terms of maturity and development. She may feel like her youth has been cut short, especially if children come right away.

I would extensively observe the two together. Tell the guy you need some time to process the request (like a month) and see how he reacts.

Tough, tough situation. I'm leaning towards letting her go ahead.

Hope u know that after marriage it's only what the man wants that happens. What if after marriage he wants her to stay @ home permanently? Do u think u will av a say towards that? Alternatively let her start school first.

House, pls permit me to ask. What is the probability that my now thrilled sister will continue to be thrilled say seven years into the marriage?

Debokan:

Hope u know that after marriage it's only what the man wants that happens. What if after marriage he wants her to stay @ home permanently? Do u think u will av a say towards that? Alternatively let her start school first.

Not impossible, but rare. very few men will really want to offend their inlaws, especially where he gave them his words and commitment before marriage.

Sogyboy:

House, pls permit me to ask. What is the probability that my now thrilled sister will continue to be thrilled say seven years into the marriage?

Nobody can give you that probability for certain. It depends on both of them to make their marriage works.

It depend on how much his money is a part of what thrills her, and if the money continues to flow.

@Nekai, & Debokan, My sisters, these questions you raised are some of the issues I used as bases for my argument but the whole family seems to be in support.

@Nekai, been to ur profile. 'Esther' is this u that have grown this big & beautiful? Or is this another testimony that all men are from one source?

@ OP
Just want to share this with you.At about that age i had a friend that wanted to get married,i thought it was rather  early but she insisted.The family reached a compromise and allowed her to get married ahead of her two elder sisters with the guy assuring the family that her education will be taken care of.I saw her some years back,she was very heavy with two adorable children and staying at her sisters.There had been some misunderstanding she told me and no education yet,hubby wanted her to have children first.This from a well educated man with a high flying job!There are no Yes or No answers in issues like this.It might turn out alright or it might not.I just think if he loves her so much he should wait until she is in 200Level at the very least.

Better tell your sister to finish school first. She is still naive and knows nothing about life. He is a business man with money today, what if tomorrow the money runs out and he cannot take care of her? Money comes, money goes. But education remains a weapon to help you bounce back in hard times. Things will never always be rosy. Will she have the emotional maturity and mental capability to support the family during hard times. Women should wait till about 24 or 25 before marriage. At least finish their education and have prospects for the future. She still has a lot to learn about life and human beings. If he loves her, let him wait for her to finish university. Or cant your father take care of his responsibilities that he is looking to offload it on another man? She is excited about his money, which is a bad reason to get married. The guy will also respect your family more, if they take care of their own responsibilities and are able to make your sister live a realistic life. No real man will really respect people that depend on him to take care of their responsibilities. I.e your family and your sister.

How long have they been dating?

It seem all the family members are already shacked by the guy money

dayokanu:

How long have they been dating?

It seem all the family members are already shacked by the guy money

exactly.
i would ask your sister what it is about this man that she loves and whether or not she understands the concept of marriage. if she sounds sure and ready, then she should go forth. if there is any hesitation, she should slow down and wait until she is ready.

Maybe she should start university first, once she realizes how much work it is and hangs out with girls/boys who have career mindset she might be more ready to make the decision.

What does she want to do in the future? does she have any plan (career, children etc.)? How well does she know the guy?

I know a friend who met her husband when she was 15, once she finished high school at 19 they got married. They both had the same expectations for the future, she took a short course during their first year of marriage and secured a job (not high qualified but what she wanted to do and could ensure an income). They only started having children afterwards and now they are one of the happiest couple I know.

However, I also know many girls who wanted/want to get married early because they don't really know what to do with their lives,  they seem to believe that getting married will answer the questions that only them should answer. These ladies usually end up quite depressed after the kids go to school and they realize, looking back, that they didn't really do anything of their lives. Plus, they resent their husbands for marrying them so early and not giving them the chance to explore their opportunities more.

After some years of marriage, routine sets in and a fulfilled life apart from the relationship (career, personnal plans) helps to nurture it. She should think about that.

To all contributors, thank you for the suggestions so far.
It seems the good thing to do here is to disallow the marriage- reasons abound. But how?
My sister's young mind is made up. The would be in-law is promising, as she is concerned.
Pls how will I go about it?

Sogyboy:

To all contributors, thank you for the suggestions so far.
It seems the good thing to do here is to disallow the marriage- reasons abound. But how?
My sister's young mind is made up. The would be in-law is promising, as she is concerned.
Pls how will I go about it?

Your parents should be able to talk to her. It is best not to do the deed because she will think out of anger that you are jealous. She is still living in fantasy world. If the guy cannot wait for her to get a degree which can improve both of their lives, then he can move on to marry someone else. He is 28, he can wait. She has also been able to get a promising person at 19. If she goes to school at 20, she would be out by 24 or 25. I am sure she will find people with more promising future in university. She has also not lived as a teenager. 19 is too young to get married. There is a lot to do and see in life these days. She should focus on her life first, rather than looking for a man to feed her. Also he is a business man, i can tell you that business men have the most volatile incomes you can think of. Money today, gone tomorrow. he will need someone that can supplement his income and business risks. Not someone he will have to feed, clothe and send to school.

@2mch, you're right.
I've reasoned with my parents about the dangers involved.
But as u know, I got to consider my sister's feelings. I'll therefore like NL girls to share with me what would be their reaction, to my seeming negative advice, if they were in my sister's shoe.

OAM4J:

Not impossible, but rare. very few men will really want to offend their inlaws, especially where he gave them his words and commitment before marriage.

Nobody can give you that probability for certain. It depends on both of them to make their marriage works.

My dear in-laws most times are not what you think they are after marriage.

Sogyboy:

@2mch, you're right.
I've reasoned with my parents about the dangers involved.
But as u know, I got to consider my sister's feelings. I'll therefore like NL girls to share with me what would be their reaction, to my seeming negative advice, if they were in my sister's shoe.         

Well if your parents are convinced, leave it all alone but make your reservations about the issue known. So any wahala that comes out of this, it shall be on their heads solely .Afterall she is their child, and not your own. I am sure if you did not have reservations about this issue you will not come NL to make a topic out of it. Dont say your thoughts in a forceful way, just relay it in a way that will make her think properly about the decision. Dont say anything to the guy though, it is only your sister you owe the talk to. Goodluck

Sogyboy, why don't you ask her why she is in a rush? Why can't they just be dating and get married in 4 to 5 years,

Genius100:

Sogyboy, why don't you ask her why she is in a rush? Why can't they just be dating and get married in 4 to 5 years,

Asked her, she said what her would be husband wants is marriage not dating. That their five months 'courtship' is enough already.

The would be brother in-law, with some of their close family heads, will come my house next week on wednesday, for what they call 'iku aka n'uzo/mmalu uno' (knocking on the door/knowing of place & family). Official observance for couples preparing to get married.
Do you think I should go?