©Tug of war© 


It wasn't my fault. աas it?...


"Musty take," he squeezed a note into my palm

"See ehn, if you see any madam wey dey come alert me."

" Shey be is that fat aunty?, that wan—"

"Y—yes. My sister is at home now,  i don't want them to meet...."

He slammed the door.


I knew what uncle Okon was up to. Sister in bedroom indeed

I opened my palm in anticipation.

1000 naira was the least I had expected

"Everytime, 500 naira, this wasn't what he had promised ...is like this doesn't know how much  ɨt cost to build a house in hellfire,"


"I go show am pepper."


I continued my laundry.


Highly classified moans sourced it path from Uncle Okon's room —directly into my ears.  I had to plug in my earpiece. I can't die on top of another man's enjoyment.


Briefly. The thunderous footsteps of a mighty mammal, bypassed the earpiece into my ear. One could imagine tɦɛ kind of trampling sound her feet doled out.


She acknowledged my presence to which I returned.

sɦɛ paused at the entrance of Uncle Okon's room. She proximated her left ear towards the door, certainly to confirm the moan emanating from the room.


She banged heavily at the door.


"Open this door  o...open this door. Infidelity…." She dropped her designer purse and kicked at the door.


The door creaked open, uncle Okon stepped out, on a boxer's shorts. I could see his 'Staff of wonders' shrinking.


"What na? Why don't you call me before coming?.


"U dey craze?  I no get your time. Wey dat ashawo dey?.


I often wondered why uncle Okon wouldn't go after his type. He always  goes after fat women. Now, the odds were not in his favor.


She grabbed him one handedly and shoved him sideways as he tried to deter her from entering. He staggered to a stand and launched at her. But she grabbed his left foot and jerked the other landing him on the ground.


"Olumpus has fallen," I blurted.


Just after the 'great fall'. A huge capital letter O figure stood in front of the entrance. I can't explain how huge she was. The supposed 'Ashawo'.


"Uncle yhaff die." I intoned.


"Who dey breathe?"  sɦɛ intoned in a gruff voice.


Before I knew it.  They had grabbed uncle Okon by his arms, each on the opposite sides. Tugging and pulling  uncle's arms.


"Do they want to split uncle into two?" I wondered.


 To avoid implications.


I entered my room. Locked it. Opened my աɨռɖօա for a clearer view. I grabbed some popcorn.


At least I could watch the drama unimplicated.


™ʍʊstʏ stʀaռɢɛ.