31st December 2020
I'm here sitting in my room watching a movie and all those memories come flooding back. 
Will I ever heal The one question I keep asking myself that I dont know if I'll ever get an answer to.
It all just comes flooding back. The heartaches, the gas lighting, the disrespect, the trauma.
I felt like I was losing it 2019.
I was so not my self. I lost myself that year and since then I've been trying so hard to find myself.
I really can't believe everything I did. The begging, the overlooking of obvious details,the constant questioning of what was wrong with me. If I had something that was preventing someone from loving me.
It's been over a year now,yet I still haven't moved on. I still cry when I think of the whole experience
I gave my all, I really did. I thought he was the one. I thought it was meant to be. He made me feel soooooo special late 2018.
What did I ever do to him to deserve that kind of treatment.  My heart hurts badly as I'm writing this right now.
I feel like I'm still lost,deep down.
Gas lighting; I learnt this word in 2020. I had no idea that this was the word for what I was passing through 2019.
Why did I fall so deeply?
I mean the subliminals were there.
He said a lot of undercover words but I didnt listen well. I actually thought that he loved me
He really toyed with my emotions. From not claiming me in public to letting me go so easily
I wonder how I fell so deeply. Now I can't even imagine falling in love again cause my heart feels like i was stabbed a thousand times.
How it feels to love someone and not be loved back?
I will keep on trying ,trying to heal
I will cry when i feel like,when I'm happy itll show.

I just hope that someday I will be healed, and I'll be able to open my heart to love again.

Today is the last day of 2020.

"I only settled for you" one of the most painful words to say to someone that loves you.
"I only missed it not you" Very painful.
I blame myself sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't have .maybe,maybe. So many maybes. I wish he had never been in my posting group.  I wished I had never talked to him. I wished I had  never believed all the things he told me
"I've tried,its not working "
"Its not you, its me"
"You deserve better than me"
All these words are words of a confused human.
"I dunno if you can wait till the feelings come around again"
Why me? Why cant I get someone to love me, to really love me and not just someone that'll keep me as an option.

Love; it's a very painful thing. Its beautiful when it works our but if it doesn't especially when you give it your all.
Especially when you invest your time,your emotions, your all and you find out that it all meant nothing to him. It really hurts. It really really hurts.
The fact that he just saw me as another one of his conquests, the fact that he probably never loved me all that while when I gave him my all. It just makes me very sad, very very sad.
How can I get this feeling out of my heart cause I dont think I can hold on to this for much longer.
I think I need to pray to God.

Nice Poetry.

Too much emotions for an ordinary boyfriend, never love a man truly or deeply till he marries you,go into relationship with your brains functioning well at it peaks,dump without remorse if you notice any red flag. The one's with too much emotions in any relationship are always at the receiving end.Men never appreciate women who are too emotional about them,it awakens some demon in them and you become a thrash and their play toy, they appreciate and love women who are hard and show less emotions towards them,they are weird that way.I have lost count of the numbers of men I have toiled with their emotions(especially the bad ones who think they are smart and players) but they won't still go,they still hang around keeping faith,that's how they are weird.So be strong and hard hearted when dealing with men else you become a play thing and a shadow of yourself in the long run while they move on like an eagle who has successfully conquered its prey.Be wise and strong so as to avoid making lifetime mistakes common with overly emotional women. Shalom

Well... Today isn't the last day of 2020.

Next time you copy and paste, please have some dignity to edit.

Iyaebe:
Too much emotions for an ordinary boyfriend, never love a man truly or deeply till he marries you,go into relationship with your brains functioning well at it peaks,dump without remorse if you notice any red flag. The one's with too much emotions in any relationship are always at the receiving end.Men never appreciate women who are too emotional about them,it awakens some demon in them and you become a thrash and their play toy, they appreciate and love women who are hard and show less emotions towards them,they are weird that way.I have lost count of the numbers of men I have toiled with their emotions(especially the bad ones who think they are smart and players) but they won't still go,they still hang around keeping faith,that's how they are weird.So be strong and hard hearted when dealing with men else you become a play thing and a shadow of yourself in the long run while they move on like an eagle who has successfully conquered its prey.Be wise and strong so as to avoid making lifetime mistakes common with overly emotional women. Shalom

This is what has been helping me o

If not Nigerian boys for don finish me.

siofra:


This is what has been helping me o

If not Nigerian boys for don finish me.

Keep keeping on with it,most of these boys are not what the emotional stress,don't be surprised that the prick is somewhere with another woman while telling his friends he's done with the op(he will call her bitch before his friends,like I'm done with that bitch).See ehn no man born of a woman can tamper with my emotions,my emotions are hidden somewhere above their reach,only my husband will earn it and that will be like after 3 kids.

siofra:


This is what has been helping me o

If not Nigerian boys for don finish me.

Cc: iyaebe

Story story, boys don’t have the monopoly of being heartless. After my former girlfriend cheated on me during the lockdown and called me a ‘destiny helper’ (whatever that means), I gave myself ‘brain’.

Moving forward I promised I’d never let that shit happen again. Now it’s give and take , I give you what you give me and everyone is happy, else hit the curb

Palema007:
Well... Today isn't the last day of 2020.

Next time you copy and paste, please have some dignity to edit.

It's an original work posted in retrospect.
It was written in December 31 2020 but only posted now because I'm now ready to share it.

Iyaebe:
Too much emotions for an ordinary boyfriend, never love a man truly or deeply till he marries you,go into relationship with your brains functioning well at it peaks,dump without remorse if you notice any red flag. The one's with too much emotions in any relationship are always at the receiving end.Men never appreciate women who are too emotional about them,it awakens some demon in them and you become a thrash and their play toy, they appreciate and love women who are hard and show less emotions towards them,they are weird that way.I have lost count of the numbers of men I have toiled with their emotions(especially the bad ones who think they are smart and players) but they won't still go,they still hang around keeping faith,that's how they are weird.So be strong and hard hearted when dealing with men else you become a play thing and a shadow of yourself in the long run while they move on like an eagle who has successfully conquered its prey.Be wise and strong so as to avoid making lifetime mistakes common with overly emotional women. Shalom

Thank you

Iyaebe:
Too much emotions for an ordinary boyfriend, never love a man truly or deeply till he marries you,go into relationship with your brains functioning well at it peaks,dump without remorse if you notice any red flag. The one's with too much emotions in any relationship are always at the receiving end.Men never appreciate women who are too emotional about them,it awakens some demon in them and you become a thrash and their play toy, they appreciate and love women who are hard and show less emotions towards them,they are weird that way.I have lost count of the numbers of men I have toiled with their emotions(especially the bad ones who think they are smart and players) but they won't still go,they still hang around keeping faith,that's how they are weird.So be strong and hard hearted when dealing with men else you become a play thing and a shadow of yourself in the long run while they move on like an eagle who has successfully conquered its prey.Be wise and strong so as to avoid making lifetime mistakes common with overly emotional women. Shalom

Chai.. Hard babe, make una try soft small na.This world nor too hard like This?

killmods:

Chai.. Hard babe, make una try soft small na.This world nor too hard like This?

Change your dp first

iLoveYouToo:


Cc: iyaebe

Story story, boys don’t have the monopoly of being heartless. After my former girlfriend cheated on me during the lockdown and called me a ‘destiny helper’ (whatever that means), I gave myself ‘brain’.

Moving forward I promised I’d never let that shit happen again. Now it’s give and take , I give you what you give me and everyone is happy, else hit the curb

Na the koko be that.. It's how i have always lived my life. Not just with women but everyone. It makes things clearer

Iyaebe:
Change your dp first

It's a symbol of undying love.. why don't u like it?

madam, wake up and wash ur face, na 2021 be dis and e be like buhari never do u shege, u never buy Gas!
u dey inlove

Helloflife pls help me to beg lyaebe pls thank you

Iyaebe:
Too much emotions for an ordinary boyfriend, never love a man truly or deeply till he marries you,go into relationship with your brains functioning well at it peaks,dump without remorse if you notice any red flag. The one's with too much emotions in any relationship are always at the receiving end.Men never appreciate women who are too emotional about them,it awakens some demon in them and you become a thrash and their play toy, they appreciate and love women who are hard and show less emotions towards them,they are weird that way.I have lost count of the numbers of men I have toiled with their emotions(especially the bad ones who think they are smart and players) but they won't still go,they still hang around keeping faith,that's how they are weird.So be strong and hard hearted when dealing with men else you become a play thing and a shadow of yourself in the long run while they move on like an eagle who has successfully conquered its prey.Be wise and strong so as to avoid making lifetime mistakes common with overly emotional women. Shalom

In a way, I disagree with you

Emotions are very powerful. If you look at the strongest and healthiest marriages, they are built on a solid emotional bond

The problem most men and women make is seeking love without loving themselves. When a person loves themselves, they can easily move on from people who reject them. But when they don't love themselves, it will be very challenging since their partner was their source of love

Another thing is that vulnerability is required to form a strong emotional bond but not many people can be vulnerable, especially men. This is why a lot of them can't handle a woman's emotions

Narcissistic boyfriend done really show you pepper . You never see anything. Next time you go get sense . Narcissist are everywhere. Very deceitful people. They set the trap and wait for you to loose guard. You'll learn the hard way if you refuse to be sensible. Little sweet talk, boom! you have fallen in love

I have gone through this and it will get better. You will heal and be the better for it. It would look like everything about you is wrong but it's not. Count your losses and move. Most people will go through these things because they ignored obvious signs and hoping for return on investment. Don't love to the point of brokenness, don't give anyone that advantage over you. Be quick to drop them like hot potatoes once they are messing up.
May we be lucky with love.

What I've learnt over time is that once you love yourself enough, if you are receiving anything less than that and it's not satisfying, you will know. Then, you can boldly walk away whole or not.

bepositive11:


In a way, I disagree with you

Emotions are very powerful. If you look at the strongest and healthiest marriages, they are built on a solid emotional bond

The problem most men and women make is seeking love without loving themselves. When a person loves themselves, they can easily move on from people who reject them. But when they don't love themselves, it will be very challenging since their partner was their source of love

Another thing is that vulnerability is required to form a strong emotional bond but not many people can be vulnerable, especially men. This is why a lot of them can't handle a woman's emotions

Opeyemiextra:
What I've learnt over time is that once you love yourself enough, if you are receiving anything less than that and it's not satisfying, you will know. Then, you can boldly walk away whole or not.

Exactly