She's gone and all I have is this disease

"I would sleep with him and later come sleep with you.
Every time we slept together
I would regret it and you would be the only person I would think about.
I would lie simply because I didn't want to lose you.
You are a good person and I regret having to hurt you and put you through everything that I have put you.
I know you are hurt and all but please forgive me, bae, forgive me
I love you, I love you so much"

I stood there listening to her lies.
I knew if she did it once, nothing will stop her from doing it again.
I had to feel sorry for myself for all the shit that
That she put me through.
I had to act strong because of all that she put me through.
I had sucked the breast that another man sucked
I had unprotected sex with someone who had just told another man that she doesn't like a condom.
I cried when I realised that I muffed a lady who just had sex with another man.
I asked how could I do that?
She said "bae I washed it"
The beat of my heart stopped.
The clock stopped
I remember following her to his room.
Later she told me that she was in her room the whole day sleeping.
"Sleeping with another man?" I asked
She shouted at me and walk out.
Later I apologised but I love her.
Imagine loving someone so much that even when they kill you, you still give them your last breath.
I was in pain
So I walked away.
Two weeks down the line
I felt lonely and I was on your butty again.
We fixed things but I knew deep down that I was not the same person anymore
We would have sex and I would see you with him.
I would kiss you and it felt like I was kissing another man.
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
I was stupid in love.
You went on to sleep with my housemate.
I was stupid enough to laugh with the nigga while he's busy laughing behind my back smashing you.
You thought I wouldn't know?
I know everything you did that you think I don't know.
I know so much.
Like I know you did an abortion because you were not sure if the baby is mine or his.
I know it all, from the fake
"Bae I can't come over tonight, my granny is sick"
From
" I have to study, you know how important these tests are"
If you were so focused on your school why did you fall pregnant, while we haven't had sex in 8 weeks?
Why did you fail all your exams?
Why did you
Just tell me why?
Bleep man.

The last time we talked you told me the "truth" and I knew it was all lies.
The last time you told me that you love me
I knew you were telling the truth but deep down you regret it because you know you are HIV and you infected me.

Being a good person bleeped me up.
Being someone who's there for everyone bleeped me.
Caring so much for people bleeped me.
Putting myself last got me HIV.
Putting myself last is what killed me.
Loving someone so much that you tolerate everything they got me HIV.

Everything is gone.
All my dreams are gone.
The girl I loved is gone and everything she put me through and I was okay with it.
It's killing me now.

The lady on the radio asked me during an interview.
"If she was alive listening to this what would you say to her"
I would tell her that I was not a fool.
Street...��
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