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I Need Your Oppinion - Family - Nairaland

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I Need Your Oppinion by SarahMaria: 9:24pm On Jul 17, 2011
I know a lot of user here can`t understand me but if I go and speak about my problems with other white people they just tell me the same things everytime. Yes divorce, he wanted the papers not you Cry

I love my husband so much and he is a very good man and a good father. Our relationship is just great. We do not have any problems.

BUT there is something, I was in Nigeria after we married. We stayed for two weeks. There was not enough time to meet all his family members. I met his parents, his brother and a lot of cousins. He has two sister here in Europe. 2 are in Nigeria with the parents. The parents were really nice to me. I felt good with them. When they are calling they are happy when they can here the children and they ask about me often. The older sister two aks about me and the children and I talk to her on phone sometimes, but the two younger sisters, Undecided, I have never met them and I have never spoke to them.

There are not on phone when I am there when my hsuband is calling. I saw their facebook profiles and I wanted to contact them, but no answer Huh

Today I saw a message on my husbands handy. he wrote his sis that he can not call now because he is going with the children and "their mum" to the playground. Shocked
He is calling me the children mum?? Am I to sensible or what? why he call me like that?
should I ask him abou that or does I cause problem for nothing?

Huh Another problem is that I think that his age is wrong. I found it out yesterday. He always told me that he have three younger sisters but I saw the profiles on facebook. 2 are defenitly older and the third is from 1981!!! how she wrote!! so he can not be from 84 when he is older. Huh

I am confused, but I am afraid to ask. Why he lie? Does he lie?
Why does he call me the childrens mum and not his wife??

Does I think to much about all these??
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Outstrip(f): 9:39pm On Jul 17, 2011
First of all what reason has he ever given you to spy on him. It seems you are looking for trouble were there is none. Or manybe you are not saying anything. You are mad because he referred to you as the mom and not the wife? To me that is not a big deal but maybe if you have been feeling left out that might sting a bit. I am not really sure where you are coming from. Also just about everybody ahs a fake birthday on facebook. Why are you spying through profiles and why are you confirming peoples ages from facebook of all places. Looks like you some serious trust issues
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by SarahMaria: 9:42pm On Jul 17, 2011
Yes that is true. I have problems with trusting somebody even my own husband.
I was on facebook because I try to contact his two sisters. I mean they are part of my husbands family and I feel like they do not accept me as his wife and you know this make me to think a lot.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jul 17, 2011
lol, i don't have my correct age on my fb page
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by xxcarolxx(f): 11:59pm On Jul 17, 2011
No one puts their correct age up on fb, as its personal info, and it can be used by hackers, Why not sit down with your husband and speak with him. You may be making a mountain out of a mole hill,
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by obowunmi(m): 1:55am On Jul 18, 2011
Lol- How old is the OP ?
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by 2mch(m): 4:33am On Jul 18, 2011
obowunmi:

Lol- How old is the OP ?

his is an important question for the jobless op
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Nobody: 4:39am On Jul 18, 2011
2mch:

[b]his [/b]is an important question for the jobless op

Touche!
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by AngelNeky(f): 7:23am On Jul 18, 2011
From my observations u are not a nigeria lady,if u are not then listen to this.African men can be funny at times maybe he is playing one hide nd seek with u irrespective of the children so if u are not cleared with all u are observing walk up to him nd get urself cleared he is ur husband.But for the fb age he can never put his real age there goodluck.For more advice u know how to get me.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by N101: 9:56am On Jul 18, 2011
What's the big deal about being referred to as "their mum".  Where is the offence in that?

Is it by force that your in-laws MUST befriend you on FB? I suggest you don't make a big deal out of something that isn't significant.  You need to work on that distrustful nature of yours, otherwise you will easily destroy your relationships.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by harakiri(m): 7:36pm On Jul 18, 2011
SarahMaria:

I know a lot of user here can`t understand me but if I go and speak about my problems with other white people they just tell me the same things everytime. Yes divorce, he wanted the papers not you  Cry

I love my husband so much and he is a very good man and  a good father.  Our relationship is just great. We do not have any problems.

BUT  there is something, I was in Nigeria after we married. We stayed for two weeks. There was not enough time to meet all his family members. I met his parents, his brother and a lot of cousins. He has two sister here in Europe. 2 are in Nigeria with the parents. The parents were really nice to me. I felt good with them. When they are calling they are happy when they can here the children and they ask about me often. The older sister two aks about me and the children and I talk to her on phone sometimes, but the two younger sisters,  Undecided, I have never met them and I have never spoke to them.

There are not on phone when I am there when my hsuband is calling. I saw their facebook profiles and I wanted to contact them, but no answer  Huh

Today I saw a message on my husbands handy. he wrote his sis that he can not call now because he is going with the children and "their mum" to the playground.  Shocked
He is calling me the children mum?? Am I to sensible or what? why he call me like that?
should I ask him abou that or  does I cause problem for nothing?

Huh Another problem is that I think that his age is wrong. I found it out yesterday. He always told me that he have three younger sisters but I saw the profiles on facebook. 2 are defenitly older and the third is from 1981!!! how she wrote!! so he can not be from 84 when he is older. Huh

I am confused, but I am afraid to ask. Why he lie? Does he lie?
Why does he call me the childrens mum and not his wife??

Does I think to much about all these??

WOMEN! ! !

Always on the lookout to create drama where there isn't one (and when the drama finally comes, they can't deal with it).
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by harakiri(m): 7:39pm On Jul 18, 2011
N101:

What's the big deal about being referred to as "their mum".  Where is the offence in that?

Is it by force that your in-laws MUST befriend you on FB? I suggest you don't make a big deal out of something that isn't significant.  You need to work on that distrustful nature of yours, otherwise you will easily destroy your relationships.

Abeg, helep me tell am ooo! Wetin be d big deal if the guy refer to am as "their mum"? All dis women sef. Dem go just dey look for one small ting to make wahala. I sori for married men.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Sicherheit(m): 8:00pm On Jul 18, 2011
AngelNeky:

From my observations u are not a nigeria lady,if u are not then listen to this.African men can be funny at times maybe he is playing one hide nd seek with u irrespective of the children so if u are not cleared with all u are observing walk up to him nd get urself cleared he is your husband.But for the fb age he can never put his real age there goodluck.For more advice u know how to get me.
After she has stated she is white abi? undecided
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by kokoye(m): 8:32pm On Jul 18, 2011
You are the same person who created the 'I am sad' thread on the home page.

what exactly are you expecting people to tell you about your husband that you cannot find out yourself?

you seem to be always looking for the 'nigerian' definitions of your husband . . this will never end well sorry

If you are not happy or satisfied with him, then let him go.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Outstrip(f): 10:33pm On Jul 18, 2011
I remember I referred to "my kid's dad" as "my kid's dad" and I was told that it was weird by some Nigerian lady. Why can't you just call him your husband. He is also the kids dad abi. I kind of understand where she is coming from. For me personally it is not a problem but since she has these feeling of insecurity I can see why she would read more into it
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by isalegan2: 7:35am On Aug 21, 2011
SarahMaria:

. . . [size=14pt]I love my husband so much and he is a very good man and  a good father.  Our relationship is just great. We do not have any problems.[/size]

BUT  there is something . . .blah blah blah . . .

Today I saw a message on my husbands handy. he wrote his sis that he can not call now because he is going with the children and "their mum" to the playground.  Shocked
He is calling me the children mum?? Am I to sensible or what? why he call me like that?
should I ask him abou that or  does I cause problem for nothing?

. . . blah blah blah. . . Huh Another problem . . .blah blah blah 

Are you the stepmum?  WTF! grin
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by Iranoladun(f): 11:52pm On Aug 21, 2011
Forget facebook age/information it may not be real.

I think you need to reach out to the sisters; get their phone numbers and give them a call if their "acceptance" matter so much to you.

Have you ask yourself why you are feeling insecure? No smoke without a fire!
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by femmy2010(m): 11:40am On Aug 22, 2011
take things easy oo.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by horny4u(f): 6:14pm On Aug 28, 2011
Shebi you know you are breathing NEGATIVE ENERGY into your marriage, love is not enough for a marriage oh, you must also be positive , You have no problems as if he will leave, he will leave and you donot want to contribute to it and if he will stay you donot want to negatively chase him away as thots are live electrons and DO make things happen.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by wildwater: 7:08pm On Aug 28, 2011
I am married with a Nigerian, too. Do not worry too much about the age thing, many Nigerian men cheat about their age, mine did for some time, too, until he was sure I would not mind. There´s of course the possibility, that his sisters did not agree with the marriage and he wanted to save you troubles. The other possibilities are less nice, but depend on several factors. Where are you from? Age of your husband (true) when you married, your age, his profession and degree of schooling, his tribe and social background and other facts. It is sometimes not easy, but basically I would just talk to him about your fears. Do NOT contact his sisters without his knowledge. That would bring big trouble. But ask him, if they are his sisters by blood or just by community, e.g. And , where do his parents live? Who has the major income in your family? etc.
Re: I Need Your Oppinion by horny4u(f): 8:03pm On Aug 28, 2011
wildwater:

I am married with a Nigerian, too. Do not worry too much about the age thing, many Nigerian men cheat about their age, mine did for some time, too grin grin grin grin grin grin, until he was sure I would not mind. There´s of course the possibility, that his sisters did not agree with the marriage and he wanted to save you troubles. The other possibilities are less nice, but depend on several factors. Where are you from? Age of your husband (true) when you married, your age, his profession and degree of schooling, his tribe and social background and other facts. It is sometimes not easy, but basically I would just talk to him about your fears. Do NOT contact his sisters without his knowledge. That would bring big trouble. But ask him, if they are his sisters by blood or just by community, e.g. And , where do his parents live? Who shocked has shocked the major income in your family? etc. grin grin grin shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked

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