Women are so mysterious, most times enigmatic. They have more layers than an onion, and no man, not even the very wise King Solomon was able to figure them out. Women are just confusing by default. Though many of them strive to be honest, truthful, and forthright; truth is they do not always tell the truth. Don’t get me wrong, men tell lies too, but most of the time, women tell the bigger lies, especially when in a relationship, trying to lock down a relationship, or trying to get out of one. These lies range from white lies, half-truths told to keep the peace, or sometimes just a lie of the highest proportion. Like I said, guys lie too. And maybe some of my female readers will decide to be awesome and tell us the lies men tell from their own perspective.

Now like I said, women tell lies sometimes to get something from a man, get into a relationship with a man, lock down an existing relationship with a man, or trying to get out of a relationship with a man most times because of another man. Let’s hear some of these lies.

(1) I’ve slept with just two guys in my life:

Ordinarily, men should not bother to ask their women how many guys they have been with before them. When a woman is asked for her body count, she will almost definitely lie about it and reduce the number. But the worst liars are the ones that will tell you “I have slept with just 2 guys, the one who deflowered me, and one guy I was dating in school, and it happened only once.” When a girl tells you this, don’t believe her, don’t argue with her. Even if she has slept with 300 men, she can tell you her body count is just 3, and if 130, she might just tell you 13. It’s a matter of removing one or two zeros. So, whatever your woman tells you her body count is, don’t argue; just keep quiet. Jesus didn’t die for that, did he?

(2) The sex was great, you are the greatest:

Listen bros, I am not saying you are not good in bed, But almost every woman will tell you that you are the next best thing in bed; that the likes of Crixus and Spartacus are learners compared to you. But I need you to know that it’s hard for most women to be frank about sex, especially when the news isn’t good and they want to lock down the relationship with you. You are advised not to listen to her, but rely on her body language instead.

(3) I have never cheated on you and I never will:

This is very easy to say for women, especially when you are just done taking her to cloud 9. She will swear with everything that her honey pot has never been tasted by anyone else apart from you and it is meant for only you till thy kingdom come. She will even swear to that effect. My advice? Don’t bother your head, don’t start finding out, just nod like a zombie and continue polishing her KONGO as long as it is available.

(4) I’ll be ready in a minute:

Listen very carefully: You are going out on a date with a woman but she had earlier asked you to come and pick her up at home. When you get to her home and she goes “I’ll be ready in a minute” Tell her you want to get a recharge card down the road, turn your car back, go back to your house and slot in season 1 of 24, Game of Thrones or any interesting series. And before you are done with episode 6 probably, she would call to ask you if you had gotten the recharge card. Then you can switch of your TV and DVD, and drive back to her house; you’d be right on time this time.

(5) I’m fine:

If you offend your woman, and before you apologize, she tells you “Don’t worry, I am fine” Biko, start calling everybody; her mother, her father, her grand uncle and anybody that you know she listens to, and tell them you have bleeped up and you are a repentant sinner who needs forgiveness from your woman. If you fail to do that, you can start writing your will or something close to that.

(6) I will never get possessive and I will never nag you:

If any woman tells you this, it’s either she doesn’t love you at all, or you are a maga, simple! Women get possessive and women nag. If you believe otherwise, come and collect your learner permit.

(7) I usually don’t give guys my number, I don’t know why I am giving you:

Do you want to hear the truth? You are the number 9,999 dude in your hood that is getting that number. So don’t start jubilating that you have hit the jackpot. Don’t dull yourself and start loving up. Play your game very fast and tap out as quickly as you can. Yeske!

( You are the only one I ever wanted:

When a woman especially the one from 30 years and above tells you “You are the only one for me, you are the one I wanted, I have been waiting for you all my life.” Just nod and tell her she is FANTASTIC! Don’t argue. After all, you are the fall-back option. The last resort. The only one who didn’t run. You are the Awilo Longomba of Nigeria.

(9) It is not you, It is me; you deserve a better woman:

This is one of the classic lies women tell when they want to leave for a fresher, richer and more handsome dude. You will do yourself a great favour by not drinking hypo or Dettol. She is done with you. She is leaving. All those talk na bobo.



I am sure there are still loads of other lies girls use in decieving unwary guys today.
Drop yours!

Ladies Simps and alpha gentle men,

Let's welcome the Op with a hot and resounding clap ovation, for he's a real niggarr



HOLY SHIT!!!

This full research thesis on top woman matter? Na wa o

Most girls have rape story, I don't know why they keep on telling that bullsh*t. Either their auntie's husband rape them or their uncle, even their first boyfriend rape them too.

Some girls like about not understanding their L1 and be forming phonetics, they can't even speak the English fluently.

This should be a front page material.

Many of them will tell you that they lost their Virginity through rape.

Demigod22:
Most girls have rape story, I don't know why they keep on telling that bullsh*t. Either their auntie's husband rape them or their uncle, even their first boyfriend rape them too.

Some girls like about not understanding their L1 and be forming phonetics, they can't even speak the English fluently.

The "he forced himself on me" crew.
Was first told by my classmate in secondary school. A prefect forced himself on you yet you're still visiting his house every Saturday.

I was disvirgined through rape, you are the first guy i am willingly opening my legs for. lol, the day shade tell me this line i hold myself from laughing but burst out laughing as i slid into her, she felt embarassed at first but i made her laugh and we both had a good laugh aterwards she became possesed by some strange spirits and rode the hell out of me. Abeg make una leave our baby girls alone o, being a lady is not easy at all, make we still dey give them respect.

Fear Nigerian women.