Good day nairalanders. Its always nice to interact with you guys and get wise advice from you guys. Many people know me well and my story and also have idea about my situation and story. Anyway i have new updates for you guys and need your input and advice as usual. Irrespective to the issue between myself and my wife, we have been living seperately now since this year January. Though the kids are still with me and reason being that they have already started school this term when i seperated from my wife and dont want to change their school cos have already made payment, my intention was for them to finish this term and go to their mom for proper care as they are still young and female and needed their mom close to them. Last week i told my wife that she should be ready to accept the kids by this month end and she wasn't 100% in tune to that. I was surprised when my mom called me this morning and told me that my wife said she is going to send a lawyer to me to sign some papers agreement, i was kinda mad when i heard that and dont know what she is planning to come up with such plans. Something tell me maybe she wants us to have an agreement on the upkeep of the kids and what i will be responsible for when the kids later move to her. But i was annoyed cos for the 5 years we were married, i have been the one taking care of the financial responsibility of the home, both feeding,bills, school fees and other utilities, i have never defaulted and I just felt bad cos even though we are going to go our seperate ways, i will never neglect my kids and will always provide for their needs cos am a responsible man to the core, for her to go to this route, i felt insulted and angry at her. Presently i don't know how to handle this issue as am still upset. Now my question to experience married people both still married, seperated or divorce is that how do i go about this, should i go ahead to sign the paper the lawyer is going to bring and if i sign, what will be the outcome or repercussions paraventure i fail to meet up with the agreement stated. I really need advice from everyone cos this woman that i married have being a torn in my flesh and have decided to divorce her irrespective of anything. She has really getting to the height of it.

Wait until u see the Lawyer...
Then you’ll knw ur next step

Wow, just exercise patience pls and hear from the lawyer.

What is all this sign sign of papers inside marriage? What have you all turned marriage into? Smh

I was surprised aswell cos i wasn't expecting such from her. Maybe she is trying to get back at me because i decided to quit cos of all the stuff she had done in the marriage

IyaebeTheGreat:
What is all this sign sign of papers inside marriage? What have you all turned marriage into? Smh

Ok thanks

Abujainside:
Wow, just exercise patience pls and hear from the lawyer.

Afodot0022:
I was surprised aswell cos i wasn't expecting such from her. Maybe she is trying to get back at me because i decided to quit cos of all the stuff she had done in the marriage

Don’t let her drag you around, good men like you deserves better

collect the paper from the the lawyer. invite your own laywer to intepret what was written so you dont sign what will send you to jail. mind what you say to her or her lawyer and when have phone conversation with her make sure you record your calls. A divorced woman is a dangerous woman and wilk stop at nothing to ruin you so avoid whatever emotional games she might try to bring up. lastly never have sex with her again.

She is not trying to get back at you, if she needs you that much, she would come and apologise. All you have to do is to get to hear what the lawyer has to say, reach an agreement before you sign anything. If the letter content is not okay with you, then don't sign until you seek legal help. You say you have always taken good care of your kids but now that your wife is gone, nobody knows the future. You may remarry and abandon your ex wife's Children.

Afodot0022:
I was surprised aswell cos i wasn't expecting such from her. Maybe she is trying to get back at me because i decided to quit cos of all the stuff she had done in the marriage

Thanks for this .. really appreciate

ikelords:
collect the paper from the the lawyer. invite your own laywer to intepret what was written so you dont sign what will send you to jail. mind what you say to her or her lawyer and when have phone conversation with her make sure you record your calls. A divorced woman is a dangerous woman and wilk stop at nothing to ruin you so avoid whatever emotional games she might try to bring up. lastly never have sex with her again.

Ok. When i dont think there will be anything that will make me abandoned them so far i have the means to support them expecially their education, but i want her to also feel it on her side so the taking care of the kids wont be left to me alone, she has to bare the burnt too cos she caused all this hullabaloo. I have never seen such a disloyal, unsubmissive, unsupportive wife in my life, leaving her will just be a relief for me and fresh air. For now i dont want to even think about marriage cos i need to heal from this at first. Am happy i have my life out of the union.

LilMissFavvy:
She is not trying to get back at you, if she needs you that much, she would come and apologise. All you have to do is to get to hear what the lawyer has to say, reach an agreement before you sign anything. If the letter content is not okay with you, then don't sign until you seek legal help. You say you have always taken good care of your kids but now that your wife is gone, nobody knows the future. You may remarry and abandon your ex wife's Children.

Don't sign anything, Get your own lawyer involved.

Afodot0022:
■ Something tell me maybe she wants us to have an agreement on the upkeep of the kids and what i will be responsible for when the kids later move to her. But i was annoyed cos for the 5 years we were married, i have been the one taking care of the financial responsibility of the home, both feeding,bills, school fees and other utilities, i have never defaulted and I just felt bad cos even though we are going to go our seperate ways, i will never neglect my kids and will always provide for their needs cos am a responsible man to the core, for her to go to this route, i felt insulted and angry at her.
■ Presently i don't know how to handle this issue as am still upset. Now my question to experience married people both still married, seperated or divorce is that how do i go about this, should i go ahead to sign the paper the lawyer is going to bring and if i sign, what will be the outcome or repercussions paraventure i fail to meet up with the agreement stated. I really need advice from everyone cos this woman that i married have being a torn in my flesh and have decided to divorce her irrespective of anything. She has really getting to the height of it.

1. There is no reason to be offended by her getting a lawyer involved. She is just being careful as you also ought to be in these things.

2. Get your own lawyer to handle your side of the negotiations with your wife as well.

Be patient and don't get angry for no tangible reason. Wait let the Lawyer come so that you can see the content of the letter before can act.

Here's what I think.
Maybe she felt,when you bring the kids to stay with her,you would let her carry the burden alone.

Hence her inviting the lawyer to be present so you boths can sign how to care for the kids.

My sympathy goes to the kids.

Don't fret OP...

From now on record every conversation you have with her or anyone related to her...

Keep your words to the bare minimum when conversing with her...

If you're boxed into a corner or feel like she's trying to cause you to make a promise, respond with "let's see what tomorrow brings or I'll get back to you"...

She will try to get under your skin by saying and doing certain things, but stay calm NO MATTER WHAT...

Finally...
Get your own lawyer, by no means should you sign nada without first getting yourself a very good lawyer to explain things to you...

Don't sign any terms that will put you at the disadvantage, good luck...

I really appreciate your inputs all and its being helpful, i will appreciate more input on how to navigate this, mind you, i just need to let you guys know that i only get married traditionally to my wife and didnt do court wedding. So i dont know if this legal stuff she is doing is binding reason we did not do court wedding, kindly share some light to this as this will be well appreciated and i will like to know when it comes to providing for the kids when they leave, is there a requirement of what i should do like the amount of money for their upkeep and also other things i will be liable to do when they are with their mom. Thank you

Afodot0022:
I really appreciate your inputs all and its being helpful, i will appreciate more input on how to navigate this, mind you, i just need to let you guys know that i only get married traditionally to my wife and didnt do court wedding. So i dont know if this legal stuff she is doing is binding reason we did not do court wedding, kindly share some light to this as this will be well appreciated and i will like to know when it comes to providing for the kids when they leave, is there a requirement of what i should do like the amount of money for their upkeep and also other things i will be liable to do when they are with their mom. Thank you

Being married traditionally does not exclude you both from some of the legal issues surrounding marriage.

If there is need for both of you to show up in court ....you will

OK...

Mindlog:


Being married traditionally does not exclude you both from some of the legal issues surrounding marriage.

If there is need for both of you to show up in court ....you will

Afodot0022:
Ok. When i dont think there will be anything that will make me abandoned them so far i have the means to support them expecially their education, but i want her to also feel it on her side so the taking care of the kids wont be left to me alone, she has to bare the burnt too cos she caused all this hullabaloo. I have never seen such a disloyal, unsubmissive, unsupportive wife in my life, leaving her will just be a relief for me and fresh air. For now i dont want to even think about marriage cos i need to heal from this at first. Am happy i have my life out of the union.

you have already stated the reason she needs a lawyer. You must have told her the bolded that's why she needs a lawyer to back her up Incase you flout your responsibilities towards taking care of your kids. Go get your own lawyer too.

Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders. Its always nice to interact with you guys and get wise advice from you guys. Many people know me well and my story and also have idea about my situation and story. Anyway i have new updates for you guys and need your input and advice as usual. Irrespective to the issue between myself and my wife, we have been living seperately now since this year January. Though the kids are still with me and reason being that they have already started school this term when i seperated from my wife and dont want to change their school cos have already made payment, my intention was for them to finish this term and go to their mom for proper care as they are still young and female and needed their mom close to them. Last week i told my wife that she should be ready to accept the kids by this month end and she wasn't 100% in tune to that. I was surprised when my mom called me this morning and told me that my wife said she is going to send a lawyer to me to sign some papers agreement, i was kinda mad when i heard that and dont know what she is planning to come up with such plans. Something tell me maybe she wants us to have an agreement on the upkeep of the kids and what i will be responsible for when the kids later move to her. But i was annoyed cos for the 5 years we were married, i have been the one taking care of the financial responsibility of the home, both feeding,bills, school fees and other utilities, i have never defaulted and I just felt bad cos even though we are going to go our seperate ways, i will never neglect my kids and will always provide for their needs cos am a responsible man to the core, for her to go to this route, i felt insulted and angry at her. Presently i don't know how to handle this issue as am still upset. Now my question to experience married people both still married, seperated or divorce is that how do i go about this, should i go ahead to sign the paper the lawyer is going to bring and if i sign, what will be the outcome or repercussions paraventure i fail to meet up with the agreement stated. I really need advice from everyone cos this woman that i married have being a torn in my flesh and have decided to divorce her irrespective of anything. She has really getting to the height of it.

Since you have already made up your mind to divorce her, you just have to be with those children and if possible allow her to visit them or be with them where you guys agreed to meet as a meeting point for the children

If you should sign anything, it will be used against you because you may default by error and the worst is you don't know the content of what she is cooking

She really mean you and left for me, don't accept any letter neither should you know the content

Just be with the kids and you can get a helper to assist in running the home until you make up your mind to file for a divorce

At the court, let the judge decide what will be for you to sign and accept to sign

You have not still done DNA test on your kids to ascertain if they are yours. Your wife is a LovePeddler. You have told us that in your earlier posts. Why are you holding on to kids you are not sure of their paternity? Do DNA tests first before you start reasoning signing anything. Your wife is a failure of a woman.

Thanks for this input. It sheds more light on how to navigate this..

frozen70:


Since you have already made up your mind to divorce her, you just have to be with those children and if possible allow her to visit them or be with them where you guys agreed to meet as a meeting point for the children

If you should sign anything, it will be used against you because you may default by error and the worst is you don't know the content of what she is cooking

She really mean you and left for me, don't accept any letter neither should you know the content

Just be with the kids and you can get a helper to assist in running the home until you make up your mind to file for a divorce

At the court, let the judge decide what will be for you to sign and accept to sign