A brief background

We both live and study in the United States. She's American. Originally from somewhere in East Africa, while I'm from Nigeria. Despite she being older by a year, her beauty, elegance, and classy looks shroud her age, giving her a youthful appearance. More importantly, she's an amazing lady, sweet but inconsistently submissive. It's worth mentioning that we were in a relationship for three months before this intriguing incident took place. That being said, I need your thoughts and contribution to the following narrative.

Incident 1

The weather had been gloomy and cloudy for days, followed by heavy rainfall that persisted. Unfortunately, my girlfriend had the misfortune of getting drenched on one of those rainy days. Normally, such an experience would be fun, reminiscent of our carefree childhood days when we would willingly dance and play football in the rain. However, some of us with strict parents often get scolded, warning us about the potential risk of falling sick due to such "careless" acts.

Oh well! My girlfriend called, with rather an usual low tone voice, asking if I could give her ride to the school clinic. I inquired, she mentioned the rain stuff and her body running temperature. She booked an appointment, picked her up and straight to the clinic. Usually, once an appointment is booked, you arrive at least 15 minutes prior to get checked in. We followed the procedure and keenly waited for the doctor’s call. Hypothetically speaking, we arrived at 1:45 p.m. for a 2 p.m. appointment. However, as time went on, 30 minutes passed, and still no call, no show! I discreetly signaled her to speak with the assistant in case we had been forgotten or there was some sort of mix-up. The nurse assured us that the doctor was on the way. But as 3:30 p.m. approached, there was still no sign of the doctor. Spontaneously, I sprang up, headed towards the nurse's desk, and politely requested her to call the doctor, inquiring whether the appointment needed to be rescheduled or if there was an alternative arrangement.

The nurse asked, "sir, may I have the patient's name and school ID number?"

I immediately gestured to my visibly distressed girlfriend, who was sitting in the patient/visitors corner, to come forward and provide her information. She obliged, and the nurse made the call. In less than a minute or two, the doctor appeared, and they went straight into the office for the check-up. The examination was completed, and the doctor recommended the necessary medication. As we headed to the pharmacy, I noticed a change in her countenance. However, this time, she appeared more angry than sick.

I sensed that something amusing was about to unfold, so I mustered the courage to ask, "Babe, are you okay?" As if she had been waiting for the question, she immediately responded with a statement that caught me off guard:

"I don't appreciate people intervening for me when I'm perfectly capable of speaking for myself. None of my exes have ever done what you just did!"

For a moment, I was puzzled. Her ever-changing "code of many colors" never ceased to amaze me, but this particular statement left me off balance, as I couldn't recall which intervention she was referring to. So, I asked, "What did I do again?" With a tight and determined expression, she told me that I shouldn't have gone to the nurse assistant to call the doctor, at least not without her permission. At that moment, I realized I had unintentionally crossed a boundary. Her sudden outburst left me bewildered, trying to understand the gravity of my actions. I took a deep breath and calmly explained to her that as someone who was unwell and waiting for the doctor for an extended period, I felt responsible for speaking up on her behalf. My intention was to ensure she received the necessary attention. I also pointed out that instead of disregarding my efforts, it would have been more appreciative for her to acknowledge and respect the steps I took to assist her.

However, her anger only intensified. She uttered a barrage of words, reminding me to mind my own business the next time we were in public. She insisted that I should seek her consent before interfering in her affairs. Normally, I would have been tempted to find a place to park the car and ask her to find her own way home due to my infuriation with the absurdity of her statement. But as a gentleman, I couldn't help but grin mischievously.

Incident 2

Since the last episode of this unfolding drama, I had learned to say less in public when we were together. It wasn't because I was a "SIMPle" man, but rather because I knew it was only a matter of time before her self-egoistic confidence came crashing down. Anyways, I was playing PlayStation with my friends when she called, complaining that her laptop wasn't powering on. While on the phone, I instructed her to try a few troubleshooting tricks, but they didn't work. I suggested she come over to my place so we could try to fix it together. Unfortunately, our attempts were in vain, and it became clear that we needed to consult a technician. That's when I unleashed my alpha male mode.

Usually, over here, when you take your gadgets for repairs, you usually have to pay an inspection fee. The cost varies, but based on my experience, it's typically around $150. However, these fees can be avoided if you can accurately identify the specific issue with your computer. In that case, you only need to pay for the required service and any necessary accessories.

Knowing that the problem with her laptop was related to the battery (I was 101 percent certain about it), I decided to remain silent and let her handle the interaction with the technician. As they conversed, I observed the situation closely, suppressing the urge to intervene and save her the unnecessary cost. After the transaction was completed, we got into the car, but I couldn't hold back what had transpired earlier. I informed her that she had just wasted $150 on an inspection that could have been easily avoided if she had mentioned the exact issue to the technician.

To my surprise, my girlfriend became furious and started ranting. In response, I looked her straight in the face and firmly stated that even if such incidents were to happen a hundred times, I would still mind my own business until she learned to understand that I am her MAN, and I don't need her permission to speak up for her when necessary. Somehow, her anger subsided. I also made her realize that when we are in public, we are a team, and I am the captain. As a captain, it is my responsibility to ensure her safety and interest.

Unlike her usual defensive mode, her face softened, and her heart melted. She didn't utter a word until I dropped her off. We haven't discussed the incident since that day, but her guard was down, and she let me take the lead ever since.

Guys, what do you think?

Patdgreat001:
A brief background

We both live and study in the United States. She's American. Originally from somewhere in East Africa, while I'm from Nigeria. Despite she being older by a year, her beauty, elegance, and classy looks shroud her age, giving her a youthful appearance. More importantly, she's an amazing lady, sweet but inconsistently submissive. It's worth mentioning that we were in a relationship for three months before this intriguing incident took place. That being said, I need your thoughts and contribution to the following narrative.

Incident 1

The weather had been gloomy and cloudy for days, followed by heavy rainfall that persisted. Unfortunately, my girlfriend had the misfortune of getting drenched on one of those rainy days. Normally, such an experience would be fun, reminiscent of our carefree childhood days when we would willingly dance and play football in the rain. However, some of us with strict parents often get scolded, warning us about the potential risk of falling sick due to such "careless" acts.

Oh well! My girlfriend called, with rather an usual low tone voice, asking if I could give her ride to the school clinic. I inquired, she mentioned the rain stuff and her body running temperature. She booked an appointment, picked her up and straight to the clinic. Usually, once an appointment is booked, you arrive at least 15 minutes prior to get checked in. We followed the procedure and keenly waited for the doctor’s call. Hypothetically speaking, we arrived at 1:45 p.m. for a 2 p.m. appointment. However, as time went on, 30 minutes passed, and still no call, no show! I discreetly signaled her to speak with the assistant in case we had been forgotten or there was some sort of mix-up. The nurse assured us that the doctor was on the way. But as 3:30 p.m. approached, there was still no sign of the doctor. Spontaneously, I sprang up, headed towards the nurse's desk, and politely requested her to call the doctor, inquiring whether the appointment needed to be rescheduled or if there was an alternative arrangement.

The nurse asked, "sir, may I have the patient's name and school ID number?"

I immediately gestured to my visibly distressed girlfriend, who was sitting in the patient/visitors corner, to come forward and provide her information. She obliged, and the nurse made the call. In less than a minute or two, the doctor appeared, and they went straight into the office for the check-up. The examination was completed, and the doctor recommended the necessary medication. As we headed to the pharmacy, I noticed a change in her countenance. However, this time, she appeared more angry than sick.

To be continued....

Following

Following

Where's the full story nau??

May I not cross paths with a man who will want to "deal" with me for my "independence."


The floodgates of heaven just be releasing anything masquerading in the flesh of a man these days, 'cause what are these enemies fashioned against women are dating them?


I am sure it'll be easier for you to break up with her and leave her to her 'independent American ways', but no. You decided to *deal* with a person you are dating, and whom you claim to love, and you're coming here to tell us as if it's some badge of honor.

You won't stay single; you still won't appreciate her independence but are committed to frustrating the poor girl for some token manly points.



P.S.: I don't need to read the full story. The word "deal" and the foot your story started off on is telling enough.

Inside you and mango, i don't know who to surmon thunder for now.

Magnoliaa:
May I not cross paths with a man who will want to "deal" with me for my "independence."


The floodgates of heaven just be releasing anything masquerading in the flesh of a man these days, 'cause what are these enemies fashioned against women are dating them?


I am sure it'll be easier for you to break up with her and leave her to her 'independent American ways', but no. You decided to *deal* with a person you are dating, and whom you claim to love, and you're coming here to tell us as if it's some badge of honor.

You won't stay single; you still won't appreciate her independence but are committed to frustrating the poor girl for some token manly points.



P.S.: I don't need to read the full story. The word "deal" and the foot your story started off on is telling enough.

Lol. Another entity jumping into conclusions. Didn’t you see “to be continued” ? You don’t even know the aspect of independence we’re talking about. Just shut up and wait for the final content!!

Cassandraloius:
Where's the full story nau??

Very soon. Got caught up with work.

.

boldx:
Following

Updated

Cassandraloius:
Where's the full story nau??

Updated

Exodus15v11:
Following

Updated

kkins25:
Inside you and mango, i don't know who to surmon thunder for now.

Lol. no vex for me. I just updated it

Well, you've done well. That's the best way to handle situations like this.

Patdgreat001:


Updated

I was waiting for the updated story before commenting as I suspected it was something in this line when you started.

I don't know what stage of life you both are however, I believe moulding or 'tweaking' as I call it is best done at younger years for both parties before they become unbending.

I also like to look at the root cause of the undesirable trait which would guide in the solution of such problems. It would also be great to know why she is that way: lack of a father figure? Irresponsible/henpecked father? Feminism? Disappointments from men she relied on in the past? Upbringing not to 'rely' on anyone? No one has ever taken initiative or responsibility for her in the past?

You need to dig into the why before you can begin the work of moulding her into your woman which is a loooot of work and patience.

If you intend to marry her, you need to ensure her worldview is shifted before you both go to the altar. You don't start to make such tweaks after marriage. You also need to ensure you are very reliable and also open to tweaking (for whatever issues she might have as long as it doesn't undermine your role of leadership, protection and provision [not just money]). You also need to ensure you are trustworthy such that if there is going to be a difference in opinion and you decide to take the lead, it is not out of your selfishness, ego or benefit; it is because that is the best direction for the team (you & her). That is not to say you would always know the best direction for the team (you are not omniscient) which means that sometimes you would defer to her also.

She must also see that my man loves me very much. That is key to this leadership/submission man/woman masculine/feminine dance you have started. A woman who knows she is loved and respects you wouldn't over time feel the need to 'challenge you' or fight for her 'rights' in defence.

I think I like the maturity and self-awareness of this thread hence my epistle

I wish you goodluck in your relationship and hope you invite us to eat Semo after buying Ankara 😋

the moment i got to where she Scolded you for asking the nurse, in my mind, I thought;
"which kine naija babe be this."
No boundary was crossed. The healthy person usually does the talking in the hospital.

I knew for sure, no matter how feminist associated, a naija girl will appreciate that situation.

I agree with Buky. She may hold abnormal world views, because, even a man in that situation won't complain. Since you're quoting in Dollars, then maybe they hold radical feminist world view. Maybe. Good you were assertive at the end though!

Magnoliaa:
May I not cross paths with a man who will want to "deal" with me for my "independence."


The floodgates of heaven just be releasing anything masquerading in the flesh of a man these days, 'cause what are these enemies fashioned against women are dating them?


I am sure it'll be easier for you to break up with her and leave her to her 'independent American ways', but no. You decided to *deal* with a person you are dating, and whom you claim to love, and you're coming here to tell us as if it's some badge of honor.

You won't stay single; you still won't appreciate her independence but are committed to frustrating the poor girl for some token manly points.



P.S.: I don't need to read the full story. The word "deal" and the foot your story started off on is telling enough.

Trash as always.

More trust needed in your relationship. That’s the simple issue.

This isn’t even a man versus woman matter.
When you go out with your person, it’s natural to want to come to their defense if you feel something is not going right. And it should be natural for them to want to accept your love offered in the form you speaking up for them or standing up for them.

How old is this relationship? Maybe with time both of you can cultivate that trust such that you want have anything to prove to each other.
You won’t have to prove that she needs you and she won’t have to prove that she can do without you.