Hello to everybody here!
I am a white woman and I want to find out something from the Nigerian people here. Maybe you can be so kind to give me honest answers.
I have been together with my man for seven years now. He is Edo from Benin City.
He holds the European passport.
Broken Heart

For years now I have been supporting him financially. He had so many projects which all failed.
I knew it before and advised him not to do that but look for a proper job with a regular income.
He always became very angry when I wanted to advise him and in the end I let him do what he wanted and had to pay the lost money.
Recently he decided to study. I have to mention that he is in his late fourties, not a young boy any more. I supported him with a lot of money as well but now I must face a court trial because I am unable to pay my bills any more.
I am absolutely unable to help him any more for a while. He refuses to understand this and said he will look for another woman and just broke up our relationship like that.
I am really devastated.
I am not an ugly woman. I am pretty, all what a man can long for, with a good job.
Once he betrayed me with another girl but he came back. I saw the girl. She could not compare herself to me. We had big trouble when this happened.
He always said that he will never find another woman like me.
And now, because of money, he dumps me.
His siblings like me and they say that he made a big mistake
I love him still and my heart is broken.
Is this a common behaviour of Nigerian men?

Helo Anjuli. No, Nigerian men do not usually behave this way.

Perhaps he's just lazy and was using you for the financial security? Perhaps he felt you didn't suport his initiatives wholeheartedly? Perhaps he would have succeeded if your assistance wasn't half-hearted? Perhaps he was cheating on you all through this time? Perhaps the relationship was never meant to be but your determination to remain with him made it last so long?

I don't know the answer to these questions. Obviously you must be going through a lot right now. I guess other more experienced people will be able to shed more light on this perplexing story. What is it about him that you love so much, apart from tiem time and money you invested in the relationship?

?

Well (Scratches head), I cant actually vouch for my naija brothers, but i dont act like that tho. sorry for ur broken heart, but on da contrary, glad 2 know u free of this fxcking incompetent, parasitic xcuse of d male gender. i judge this a GOOD RIDDANCE, 2 BAD, BAD RUBBISH. cheer up lol

After several years, it's not easy to say good ridance to bad rubbish because all the hard work to keep the relationship on track would have been in vain. Sorry Anjuli.

Jeezuz lawd gawd oh my! listen 2 urself Seun. 40+ is not enough, preying (Thats wut i call it ) is not eNuf, u actually had to leave cos things got tough, well we all got our opinions. u got urs, i got mine, she got hers,, ,

Well said Rhodalyn

cheers daf
how're you doing?

Cool see you're having a nice time

this kind o behaviour is not only found in nigerian men
but all them playas out there

dafman:

Cool see you're having a nice time

really?

I think you ruined your life.

British white women are bit stupid.

Will make her wake up and know what one really thinks rather than be nice to her. She better start acting like a real woman. Italian girl don’t take any rubbish from boys that don’t treat them nicely, they respect themselves a lot better than English girls

You got that Anjuli?

Thanks for your answers.
And now to you "chrisd".
I am not british, I am just living there.
My man persuaded me to be his wife and I resisted long time because I did not support the idea of a black-white relationship in the beginning.  I had heard too many bad stories about Nigerian guys. But he got me where he wanted me after one and a half years.
My mentality is to fully to be on the side of my man once I am his, obey him and support him and be faithful and honest.
I did everything for him until things didnt work any more. I even forgot about my own wishes because I always was his dedicated woman.
Maybe you are frustrated "chrisd", thats why you are writing silly nuisance.
British women have more brain than you, thats for sure.

So what are you going to do about it? That's how you were brought up. Who told you to act that way, how convenient of them. We are supposed to loose our independence but not our individuality. Noone cares if you continue messing your life, only one person cares, which is you. But seems you don't even care anymore. Why don't you stand up for yourself? You're an adult and you should stop this bullying. Kick his sorry ass and start living.

<<mod: chrisd has been slammed with a 36-hour suspension for being so insensitive.>>

Chrisd, you should offer some advice and if you can't then keep your dirty mouth shut!

@ Skidoc,

"Waits for the kids to finish ranting"
, done? alright.
Well, anjuli, first things first, you were used. You were compromised and used alot like other women from countries that're economically stable. Evidently, your former man had no future plans, and intended to acquire as much funding from you as he could. Nigeria is a nation that (I admit) fails woefully in its attempts to succeed. You shouldn't flaunt around those that're lifeless. Not all Nigerian men, (forgive me, ) are this way, no, but finances, and acquisition of them is ultimate around here. Nigeira is a decent country, and are those that live in it, you should really study the person you intend to place your faith, love and trust in before delving into affairs that'll ruin you.
Be vigilant!
You'll do well,

What is that 
Affairs?
I never had any affair in my entire life. I just had two long relationships altogether.
How can you know that I "flaunt around those that are lifeless"
He is never lifeless at all, by the way.
And I am someone who does not need to flaunt around anyone.
He was the one who found me.
And he tried everything to get me and it took him 18 months.
My heart is broken and I am fed up with this forum.
Cheers!

well i think u shuld see his leaving as blessing in diguise, it simply means he left for the right guy to come in.so cheer up 

Don't believe in mistakes, or conincedence, you're not here by coincedence, he didn't become an idiot by coincedence, I believe in providence!

Hello Anjuli,

Thanks for being fed up with this forum.

Seun.

well. i feel u , and u are telling th e rightouse truth there, well i dont see no reason, , why , he will want to come back and make a second , blast at u,

abuja boy , i feel u there, not all are the same, neither are the once doing it, one , we most see. withen , before judging what they do, yeah. they lie , and do ther stuff, but, we should ask our self, what is the factor that makes them go into doing it, can u believe, that boys withen the rang of 10-15 do the same thing, even more than some adult, so let us try to look the inside, before throwing stones, cuz u know, if u throw a stone into the market, u never know who it will get to, wow did i just say that, glory be to GOD Amen

anjuli he's a goat,

why would he do that becos u dont support him,

he was a fool,sorry to say that but he's a big fool