that was a brilliant write-up
well done, sir

!
he didnt copy and paste ds time around

live separately from the other women? will your husband accept that?
what about your children? you will leave them with the husband or you are taking them with you?

i am sure you now see how complicated it is. . . .

you did not get the point. I know many of you dont know of how Muslims live. U probably are unaware that many Muslims put their wives in different homes. that is what I mean. It is not the separation of leaving matrimony. Living away from them is just to avoid all the possible complications. From the people I know, women who live apart respect each other more.

talking as if you don't know men.
a man will say a - b - c before marriage and say x - y - z after marriage. as long as those pre-nuptials are not legally binding, "word of mouth" is not enough to put one's future in jeopardy!

you can not call dat jeopardy and rather than conclude, u cld av asked how that works. Even a nonMuslim knows anything can happen in marriage. What makes u go into it in the first place is the trust u av in ur partner. I dont av one yet, but when I do, it would be with someone of good conscience. someone who wld keep to his words. One of the xteristics of an hypocrite according to Islam is that they keep promises without fulfilling them. A good Muslim wldnt fall into that category and if I would be marrying one, then I av nothing to worry about.

you want to escape this question 

Here it is again .

are you a first or second wife and if not at the moment, is that your future aspiration ?

coogar:

there are more men than women - it's a huge fact.

and if at 36(as a woman), i cannot find the husband i want - should i then kill myself or start running after yours?

so so bad!

its a matter of choice. Nothing at all would make me go for a married man- dat is my choice. some1 else might think differently though

frosbel:

you want to escape this question 

Here it is again .

are you a first or second wife and if not at the moment, is that your future aspiration ?

I know all you do is post. You do not read and when you do, u dont assimilate. that is why u avnt learnt anything on this forum.

go to d previous page nd c where i answered coogar

deols:

its a matter of choice. Nothing at all would make me go for a married man- dat is my choice. some1 else might think differently though

i thought as much!
ibrosaunks is a man though - he won't understand!

deols:

he didnt copy and paste ds time around

even if he did - he must have worked hard to find that somewhere and the article fitted with the discussion aptly.

you did not get the point. I know many of you dont know of how Muslims live. U probably are unaware that many Muslims put their wives in different homes. that is what I mean. It is not the separation of leaving matrimony. Living away from them is just to avoid all the possible complications. From the people I know, women who live apart respect each other more.

so what does the first wife think when she is aware her husband is passing the night with the 2nd or 3rd wife.
is it actually possible for a man to love several women equally? it's delightful when one of them is the favourite - the least favourite cannot be happy and who knows her plans? then they resort to juju/voodoo and whatever and terrible things would start happening in once a peaceful home.

you can not call dat jeopardy and rather than conclude, u cld av asked how that works. Even a nonMuslim knows anything can happen in marriage. What makes u go into it in the first place is the trust u av in your partner. I dont av one yet, but when I do, it would be with someone of good conscience. someone who wld keep to his words. One of the xteristics of an hypocrite according to Islam is that they keep promises without fulfilling them. A good Muslim wldnt fall into that category and if I would be marrying one, then I av nothing to worry about.

this is marriage we are talking about, not class captainship!

a lot of these no-conscience men started with good conscience then marriage threw the challenges at them.

a good muslim who knows he's permitted to marry a second wife does so at the flimsiest of excuses. after 2 years of no child, he's itching to lay with another woman and test his virility. he never planned for it but life has a way of throwing curved balls. you can never know for sure a man with a good conscience will not change his words when challenged.

@ deols i couldnt have said it better myself Monogamy is the rule polygamy is the exception just like God loves the union btw a man and a woman but still permits divorce Islam does not make it compulsory for a man to marry up to 4 wives and even the condition attached to polygamy in Islam is quite strict if you ask me,the condition is marry more than one if you can  be just among all of them which itself makes it difficult for any muslim to consider polygamy but the problem is much more human than religious even if God says marry only one, people will still break the law because as humans we have the freewill to. Afterall in Christianity where people say till death do us part the men still end up being polygamous and still attend church.

Monogamy is the rule polygamy is the exception, -@deols
end of story

Then how do you explain the 72 wives in the afterlife

@ coogar,

you haven't? i laugh in hijab for the 2nd time.
you probably think only sexual intercourse qualifies as fornication - be deceiving yourself.

wat else qualifies as furnication and is dat d biblical interpretation of it or your personal view?

so why wear the hijab? please educate me.
what is the difference between the hijab wearing muslim and the other muslim girls who wear normal clothes?
if those ones fornicate and you fornicate? who would get more criticism?

u are justifying ur stereotypical attitude ??  

it's a simple case to much whom is given, much is expected.

if i were a pastor for instance and i commit fornication, people would sneer at the thought with "a whole pastor" remarks.
but i don't claim to be "holier than thou" so i am allowed to do what i want to do. if the muslim girls i saw in the north wore normal clothes, i wouldn't give 2 rats about their sex lives - who cares?  the fornication i can stand but i cannot stand the hypocrisy!

don't wear the hijab and commit sin. if you want to sin, take off the hijab and do as you please! that is my point!

you are getting it wrong again. DOnt ever think Islam is all about popular opinion.

Wearing the hijab gets me reward from God. it doesnt make me feel more pious than people who dont. It only means they are missing out on that reward and d other benefits of being covered up such as it being ur identification as a Muslimah.

Nothing in Islam says u av to get to a particular level of faith before u can wear hijab. if all Muslims were supposed to just be pious on d basis of the mode of dressing or just because they are muslims, d'u think w'd b avn corporal punishments in Islam

Nigerians! We like to fool ourselves. Let me tell you this. If a young girl in Naija meets a young, successful married man and he takes good care of her, she wont hesitate to marry him. That's the truth! I know christian girls that have said they wont mind being a 2nd wife. In Nigeria, polygamy is in our DNA. You can come on this forum & keep quoting the bible all you like. It wont change that fact. Muslims, Christians & tradtionalist are capable of marrying more than 1 wife. I know many that has done it & they're Christians. Now you can argue they're not true Christians. But to the people that know them, they practice christianity. This same topic could be directed at Christian women & you'll still get the same reaction. Women won't want to share their husbands with any woman regardless of religion. And men will most of the time go after women even when they're married. There are muslim guys that don't like polygamy. Because having one wife sef is enough drama!

omobadan:

Nigerians! We like to fool ourselves. Let me tell you this. If a young girl in Naija meets a young, successful married man and he takes good care of her, she wont hesitate to marry him. That's the truth! I know christian girls that have said they wont mind being a 2nd wife. [b]In Nigeria, polygamy is in our DNA. You can come on this forum & keep quoting the bible all you like. It wont change that fact. Muslims, Christians & tradtionalist are capable of marrying more than 1 wife. [/b]I know many that has done it & they're Christians. Now you can argue they're not true Christians. But to the people that know them, they practice christianity. This same topic could be directed at Christian women & you'll still get the same reaction. Women won't want to share their husbands with any woman regardless of religion. And men will most of the time go after women even when they're married. There are muslim guys that don't like polygamy. Because having one wife sef is enough drama!

Two things :


1. It might be in your own DNA , but not my DNA. Please do not generalise , speak for yourself.

2. Many call themselves Christians but are not , and if they marry more than 1 wife, they have denied the faith, it is called adultery.

kq:

@ deols i couldnt have said it better myself Monogamy is the rule polygamy is the exception just like God loves the union btw a man and a woman but still permits divorce Islam does not make it compulsory for a man to marry up to 4 wives and even the condition attached to polygamy in Islam is quite strict if you ask me,the condition is marry more than one if you can  be just among all of them which itself makes it difficult for any muslim to consider polygamy but the problem is much more human than religious even if God says marry only one, people will still break the law because as humans we have the freewill to. Afterall in Christianity where people say till death do us part the men still end up being polygamous and still attend church.

Monogamy is the rule polygamy is the exception, -@deols
end of story

u'r right jare brother.

omobadan:

Nigerians! We like to fool ourselves. Let me tell you this. If a young girl in Naija meets a young, successful married man and he takes good care of her, she wont hesitate to marry him. That's the truth! I know christian girls that have said they wont mind being a 2nd wife. In Nigeria, polygamy is in our DNA. You can come on this forum & keep quoting the bible all you like. It wont change that fact. Muslims, Christians & tradtionalist are capable of marrying more than 1 wife. I know many that has done it & they're Christians. Now you can argue they're not true Christians. But to the people that know them, they practice christianity. This same topic could be directed at Christian women & you'll still get the same reaction. Women won't want to share their husbands with any woman regardless of religion. And men will most of the time go after women even when they're married. There are muslim guys that don't like polygamy. Because having one wife sef is enough drama!

the very big difference btw Muslims and christians is, while we are very realistic and dont live on false hopes, they keep arguing for the sake of arguing without putting their words into action. see an unchaste man coming to defend monogamy- wat greater hypocrisy can any1 think of

frosbel:

Then how do you explain the 72 wives in the afterlife  

virgins!

deols:

@ coogar,
wat else qualifies as furnication and is dat d biblical interpretation of it or your personal view?

you can fornicate with your mind. it's not until you come in physical contact with a man before you fornicate!
so start counting all those times you have wished you were with 2face or p-square in bed.

u are justifying your stereotypical attitude ??  

far from it, deols!

you are getting it wrong again. DOnt ever think Islam is all about popular opinion.

maybe not entirely but part of it is about popular opinion.
i will be more reluctant to chat up a girl in hijab than her counterpart in normal clothes. the general perception is that the ones in hijab consider their faith very seriously and they won't tolerate what i intend to sell. is that perception wrong?

Wearing the hijab gets me reward from God. it doesnt make me feel more pious than people who dont. It only means they are missing out on that reward and d other benefits of being covered up such as it being your identification as a Muslimah.

absolutely - wearing the hijab earns you a reward but it also marks you out as a serious-minded muslim woman. whether you like it or not, your hijab will not attract many men who might want to get friendly in comparison to other muslim women who don't wear hijabs.

right or wrong?

Nothing in Islam says u av to get to a particular level of faith before u can wear hijab. if all Muslims were supposed to just be pious on d basis of the mode of dressing or just because they are muslims, d'u think w'd b avn corporal punishments in Islam

i understand this clearly. nothing says one has to get to a particular level of faith before wearing the hijab but at the same time, those who choose to wear it are signifying they are serious with their faith and religion. at least, this is how we earthly beings see it.

Well as to the topic like the Yorubas say "Orisa jen pe meji obinrin kosi, " I have not yet met the woman who will agree at first instance to polygaous situation whether she is muslim or not but maybe men should not promise women monogamy just in case the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak, lol.

frosbel:

Then how do you explain the 72 wives in the afterlife  

wat do u thnk of singing boring songs for eternity. which would u rather  

@Frosbel: « #166 on: Today at 07:05:43 PM »
[Quote]Then how do you explain the 72 wives in the afterlife  Huh[/Quote]The rule of the game changes when you die. Enjoyment is heightened if you receive the Mercy of God. Punish will be heightened for those who are in difficulty of fire [the worst kind of life on earth is really paradise compared to the lives of the people in Hell].

Imagine what comfort and security were to a baby in mother's tummy until he comes out and see how vast, the collage of worldly beauty is; the sight and sound, whereas mother's tummy is just what it is; water world.

Paradise is better than earth, if the best of earth is made to take the basic quality of mother's tummy. You can see why the best is yet to come for Muslims.

Sweetnecta:

@Frosbel: « #166 on: Today at 07:05:43 PM »The rule of the game changes when you die. Enjoyment is heightened if you receive the Mercy of God. Punish will be heightened for those who are in difficulty of fire [the worst kind of life on earth is really paradise compared to the lives of the people in Hell].

Imagine what comfort and security were to a baby in mother's tummy until he comes out and see how vast, the collage of worldly beauty is; the sight and sound, whereas mother's tummy is just what it is; water world.

Paradise is better than earth, if the best of earth is made to take the basic quality of mother's tummy. You can see why the best is yet to come for Muslims.

if this is your explanation then i can only. . . .

you can fornicate with your mind. it's not until you come in physical contact with a man before you fornicate!
so start counting all those times you have wished you were with 2face or p-square in bed.

it is very easy for u to think ds way. It must be difficult thinking of pple living their lives in other ways than you do. I asked u to tell me if your explanation is according to d bible or not but u avnt.

learn this. Allah says of zina- Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
and the prophet said -‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’
from the above explanation, nothing is mentioned of the mind- except if u can quote one that am unaware of.

I want to believe the mention of tu face is only  metaphorical. It is natural for us to internalise certain things. I know a lot about s3x more than u can think I do(dat is not fornication as far as I am concerned). In fact, about three yrs ago, I wrote an exam(during ramadan for that matter) in which i found myself explaining that process. Are u saying I sinned by so doing? if that is fornication, then the bible wldnt av called it a sin.

*note, I naturally wld av ignored this but some1 might learn something. Am in fact saying it cos I know wat pple say when virgin talks come up on the romance section. I shld write somfn bout it soon, awaiting criticisms.

maybe not entirely but part of it is about popular opinion.
i will be more reluctant to chat up a girl in hijab than her counterpart in normal clothes. the general perception is that the ones in hijab consider their faith very seriously and they won't tolerate what i intend to sell. is that perception wrong?

your reluctance is your loss. and btw, u should be, if wat u want to sell is wat am thnkn. for goodness sake! cldnt u b willing to talk about something else?

absolutely - wearing the hijab earns you a reward but it also marks you out as a serious-minded muslim woman. whether you like it or not, your hijab will not attract many men who might want to get friendly in comparison to other muslim women who don't wear hijabs.

right or wrong?

Again, their loss.

i understand this clearly. nothing says one has to get to a particular level of faith before wearing the hijab but at the same time, those who choose to wear it are signifying they are serious with their faith and religion. at least, this is how we earthly beings see it.

and earthly beings should start knowing that they(sisters) are humans too and are liable to err.

deols:

it is very easy for u to think ds way. It must be difficult thinking of pple living their lives in other ways than you do. I asked u to tell me if your explanation is according to d bible or not but u avnt.

it's according to the bible - i have never finished reading the holy quran.
the book of matthew(5:28) - but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

learn this. Allah says of zina- Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
and the prophet said -‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’
from the above explanation, nothing is mentioned of the mind- except if u can quote one that am unaware of.

conveniently ignoring the fact that the mind processes n sends messages to the foot, body, tongue and private part.
without your mind, these things won't respond to stimuli. so every action starts from your mind(brain)!

I want to believe the mention of tu face is only  metaphorical. It is natural for us to internalise certain things. I know a lot about s3x more than u can think I do(dat is not fornication as far as I am concerned). In fact, about three yrs ago, I wrote an exam(during ramadan for that matter) in which i found myself explaining that process. Are u saying I sinned by so doing? if that is fornication, then the bible wldnt av called it a sin.

it's not natural - maybe it's natural now that sex is glorified everywhere but that wasn't supposed to be.
if you fornicate with your mind - you have done the equivalent of folks having s[i]e[/i]x - that is set in stone!

*note, I naturally wld av ignored this but some1 might learn something. Am in fact saying it cos I know wat pple say when virgin talks come up on the romance section. I shld write somfn bout it soon, awaiting criticisms.

hehe
can't wait!

your reluctance is your loss. and btw, u should be, if wat u want to sell is wat am thnkn. for goodness sake! cldnt u b willing to talk about something else?

i just happen to be the kinda bloke who cannot stand rejection so when i see a sister in hijab, my chances are halved already.
i don't risk 50-50.

and earthly beings should start knowing that they(sisters) are humans too and are liable to err.

thanks for this tip.
sister idayat is in trouble tonight.

well, i take the words of the QUr'an and the hadith the way they are. I will find out more InshaAllah.

but your quotation says lustfully and my talk is about knowing what happens. I just dont believe yet that you are human if you never had a thought of what that is. some things are just innate like children asking funny questions u cant answer - and dat is not a sin until otherwise proven - every1 wld av sinned then.

deols:

well, i take the words of the QUr'an and the hadith the way they are. I will find out more InshaAllah.

but your quotation says lustfully and my talk is about knowing what happens. I just dont believe yet that you are human if you never had a thought of what that is. some things are just innate like children asking funny questions u cant answer - and dat is not a sin until otherwise proven -  every1 wld av sinned then.

of course, all men have sinned and come short of God's glory.
if not - why do we ask for forgiveness everyday?

in these days of s[i]e[/i]x glorification - people commit fornication everyday subconsciously!

froshel said

Polygamy is nothing
The question my brother should
be asking our muslim women is ,
will you share your husband
with 72 other wives in heaven
If women in ISLAM think they
have it bad on planet earth,
imagine what paradise will be
like, where they will be nothing
but sex slaves.
I say sick and pathetic.
ISLAM is sex mad !!!
Sorry for not sounding politically correct

@Cougar: « #175 on: Today at 07:30:13 PM »
[Quote]Quote from: Sweetnecta on Today at 07:24:13 PM
@Frosbel: « #166 on: Today at 07:05:43 PM »The rule of the game changes when you die. Enjoyment is heightened if you receive the Mercy of God. Punish will be heightened for those who are in difficulty of fire [the worst kind of life on earth is really paradise compared to the lives of the people in Hell].

Imagine what comfort and security were to a baby in mother's tummy until he comes out and see how vast, the collage of worldly beauty is; the sight and sound, whereas mother's tummy is just what it is; water world.

Paradise is better than earth, if the best of earth is made to take the basic quality of mother's tummy. You can see why the best is yet to come for Muslims.

if this is your explanation then i can only. . . .[/Quote]Laugh all you want, just like the people of Noah. Then the flood overtook them. At least you know that the rule of getting nutrition is different with Tummy via placenta verses on the outside via mouth?

Apply this to earth and paradise. the rules are not the same.

Sweetnecta:

@Cougar: « #175 on: Today at 07:30:13 PM »Laugh all you want, just like the people of Noah. Then the flood overtook them. At least you know that the rule of getting nutrition is different with Tummy via placenta verses on the outside via mouth?

Apply this to earth and paradise. the rules are not the same.

there's no marriage in heaven/paradise.
stop deceiving yourself thinking you would be surrounded with 72 women!

coogar:

of course, all men have sinned and come short of God's glory.
if not - why do we ask for forgiveness everyday?

in these days of s[i]e[/i]x glorification - people commit fornication everyday subconsciously!

No. am not saying it in dat context.

you say u read the QUr'an?? make sure u get tafsir ibn kathir too for without that, u wld be lying to urself. U cant understand it without its interpretations.

Who is sister Idayat ??

@coogar
when u said "so she shud b a 2nd wife", u say that like its despicable and people have not done it and found happiness in it!nawa!!

u say it like its doomed to fail, yet there are many situations where it has worked for the greater good, eg my mums family!!

hire a maid? some people are not comfortable with maids, eg me!! i don't like em!!

coogar:

there's no marriage in heaven/paradise.
stop deceiving yourself thinking you would be surrounded with 72 women!

Didn't want to get into this fray but I had to correct the erroneous impression you just made.Yes there is paradise & you'd be surrounded by 72 virgins if you are pious enough to get there.

deols:

No. am not saying it in dat context.

you say u read the QUr'an?? make sure u get tafsir ibn kathir too for without that, u wld be lying to urself. U cant understand it without its interpretations.

i am a vast reader. i just pick up books and read cos i seek knowledge everyday.
i will get tasfir ibn kathir if you say it's helpful!

Who is sister Idayat ??

one gorgeous sister living not too far from me.

IbroSaunks:

@coogar
when u said "so she shud b a 2nd wife", u say that like its despicable and people have not done it and found happiness in it!nawa!!

that they don't complain does not mean they are happy!
no woman can be 100% satisfied sharing a husband with another woman. do an opinion poll in your neighbourhood, the results will shock you.

u say it like its doomed to fail, yet there are many situations where it has worked for the greater good, eg my mums family!!

yes - just like killing of twins worked for the greater good in calabar!
maiming of witches also worked for the greater good in eastern nigeria - completely forgetting a certain sacrifice was made b4 the "greater good".

hire a maid? some people are not comfortable with maids, eg me!! i don't like em!!

then get a youthful relative - nephews, nieces, etc.

frustrated frosbel.

The emotion of the people of paradise is different from the envy and jealousy we have on earth.

And you are a father? When your wife was pregnant, you didn't feel how your child kicked when you touch the tummy?

When the baby came out, if you touch his mother's tummy, does he kick still?
If you touch his tummy, or any part of him, does he kick as when he used to be in the tummy?

The rules change. Allah removes envy and jealousy. The rules really changed.

whats the rule[s] in your clapping and singing heaven, which is not paradise?

Naturally, a woman will find discomfiting his husband marrying another wife. This is natural and I think pardonable but a Muslim woman should try to suppress it and avoid overreacting. She should, with wisdom, try to convince the husband that taking more than 1 wife is optional not mandatory and by staying monogamous, he has not breached any Islamic principle, and she should be careful here not to see polygamy as bad, which it is not.

If her persuasion fails, let her recognize the fact that Allah that permits polygamy knows us more than ourselves and we have to respect his injunctions. He should not go mad at her husband nor make the house hot. If she comports herself well(it's hard naturally) she will not lose anything. I am from a polygamous family and though Hajia Jarus must not hear this(and she comes to NL once in a while. Lol) it's never say never, although no short to medium term plans to do 2.

@Cougar: [Quote]Quote from: IbroSaunks on Today at 08:35:08 PM
@coogar
when u said "so she shud b a 2nd wife", u say that like its despicable and people have not done it and found happiness in it!nawa!!

that they don't complain does not mean they are happy!
no woman can be 100% satisfied sharing a husband with another woman. do an opinion poll in your neighbourhood, the results will shock you.[/Quote]How do you know that a person who is smiling is not sad but just putting up a front, or truly happy? How do you know that the person who is not complaining is actually have no reason to complain? No everyone is from your side of the street; Jealous and sad avenue. And there are women who are genuinely willing to share. 2 friends marrying the same husband is something am familiar with. And they are Yanks.

Sweetnecta:

@Cougar: How do you know that a person who is smiling is not sad but just putting up a front, or truly happy? How do you know that the person who is not complaining is actually have no reason to complain? No everyone is from your side of the street; Jealous and sad avenue. And there are women who are genuinely willing to share. 2 friends marrying the same husband is something am familiar with. And they are Yanks.

. . . . .and they are kafirs/ immoral(not moslems not christians).
you forgot to add that so i helped you.

cold:

Didn't want to get into this fray but I had to correct the erroneous impression you just made.Yes there is paradise & you'd be surrounded by 72 virgins if you are pious enough to get there.

i never said there's no paradise.
i said there's no marriage or s[i]e[/i]x in paradise!

^^What is paradise without sex?I thought that was the whole reason for this race to paradise we're all running