Hello house. This below is me, with a new account. I left with all my things finally yesterday.
I'm starting a new life at 40.
Any suggestions on what to expect, how to surmount this phase and how to succeed?

This is in reference to this my story
https://www.nairaland.com/7508796/sexual-molestation-minor

I stayed away from the family. I went to spend sometime with my mum around December of 2022. I returned from work one day and got my ears full when my mum told me that my daughter talked about the molestation case all day. Mum advised me to take her to my in-laws place for the matter to be resolved, but that I should call hubby to take permission. He granted it.
Only for me to get there and my father in-law was accusing me of cooking up the story in my daughter's mind. I refused to be wrongly accused. My father in-law said after all the girl that molested my daughter isn't a boy and that after all she didn't finger my daughter. Because I defended myself and my daughter, my parents inlaw chased me and my baby out of their house like a common criminal. I cried all the way to my mum's place. Called my husband, he told me he knows the kind of parents he had, and that I should try forget the issue.
I tried forgetting it and stayed away from them. I cut them off totally. That was the only way I could heal. It's not like any of my in-laws ever reached out to me even before and after my daughter was molested, I was always doing all the calling. After this incident, I locked up.
Now my husband threw my load out on January 13th. My offense? His mother sent us food and I failed to call her to say thank you.
That's my offense. I've been squatting with my daughter from one place to another. His father even called to warn their tenant not to allow me spend another night at their house, because me and my daughter spent one night with the only tenant in the compound when I had no place to go. The tenant consist of a father, mother and their daughter, nice people.
Me and hubby live in their family house, although hubby's parents don't live there, only us and one tenant.
I've cried and cried. Elders in my church have begged and begged. He is adamant, with the backing of his father. He even locked up the remaining of my property in the very dusty store close to the gate, including my molested daughter's clothes. I even met my laptop on the floor, he had removed it from his worn-out bag I was using to house the laptop. I was so livid and was shouting that why wasn't he patient enough to give me some days to gather some money at least to rent a room, but he was so adamant that he and his family wanted me out on the street immediately. Because I was shouting out of anger and frustration, he took a wood with nail on it to hit my hand. It took the intervention of these same tenant to avert beating I would have received. This is a man I've sacrificed alot for, 10 years gone, just like that. My daughter and I are out on the street, squatting with a church member, without a dime.
And I have just heard from a neighbour that a new girl is coming to spend time in my own home, even helping him to rearrange it. I'm still in total shock and don't know what to do.
PLEASE I NEED A JOB before I lose my sanity. I live around Sango OTA.

You were Warned to let it slide since there wasn't any evidence of bruise or bleeding on her vagina meaning her hymen is still intact. Yet you kept on fighting and fighting now your husband and his people have turned against you and you're here begging us for assistance. What do you want us to do?

Take it easy on yourself. At the beginning, it is not going to be easy but in the long run, if you apply the right mental attitude, you will overcome.

Also learn your lessons and be strong for yourself and child.

Really tough, I pray that the almighty finds way to get you on your feet back..

It's well

Gbadugbakun:
You were Warned to let it slide since there wasn't any evidence of bruise or bleeding on her vagina meaning her hymen is still intact. Yet you kept on fighting and fighting now your husband and his people have turned against you and you're here begging us for assistance. What do you want us to do?

Please you do not have to respond if you have no idea on what to say. If you read very well, I didn't respond but kept my distance, how is that also a crime ? The pain is out of this world. May you never have a daughter that gets molested, then you will know it's not all about a hymen.
My daughter comes first.
Thank you.

MONEY247:
Really tough, I pray that the almighty finds way to get you on your feet back..

It's well

Amen, thank you sir

Stevenbright:
Take it easy on yourself. At the beginning, it is not going to be easy but in the long run, if you apply the right mental attitude, you will overcome.

Also learn your lessons and be strong for yourself and child.

Okay thank you.

Please anyone that can help me get a job to keep me busy, would be saving a life. Thanks

Gbadugbakun:
You were Warned to let it slide since there wasn't any evidence of bruise or bleeding on her vagina meaning her hymen is still intact. Yet you kept on fighting and fighting now your husband and his people have turned against you and you're here begging us for assistance. What do you want us to do?

It is in Nigeria that it is okay to let a child molestation slide and perpetrator go scot free.

Sexual molestation is not only evidenced by the physical.

OP, since you are out of that family physically, go ahead and take he child molestation case up with the relevant agency or ministry in the state where the molestation happened as that teenager who sexually molested your daughter needs to be picked up and taken out of circulation for some years and placed in a remand home for juvenile delinquents in order to protect other children from sexual molestation.

Mindlog:


It is in Nigeria that it is okay to let a child molestation slide and perpetrator go scot free.

OP, since you are out of that family physically, go ahead and take he child molestation case up with the relevant agency or ministry in the state where the molestation happened as that teenager who sexually molested your daughter needs to be picked up and taken out of circulation for some years and placed in a remand home for juvenile delinquents in order to protect other children from sexual molestation.

The offender is also a minor. What is she going to do, jail a 16 year old girl?

If the offender was up to 20 she could have gone to the police. But they're both minors. A family meeting was calling and everyone agrees to let it go. She still de carry the matter for head.

Gbadugbakun:

The offender is also a minor. What is she going to do, jail a 16 year old girl?

If the offender was up to 20 she could have gone to the police. But they're both minors. A family meeting was calling and everyone agrees to let it go. She still de carry the matter for head.

The way you're talking, you must be a rapist

Neptunium:
Guy you must be a rapist

Your father and entire generation are rapists. Useless hypocrite. That's how you all come online to form holy then go offline to rape children.

I asked you a simple question, would you imprison a 16 year old child? You're here talking rubbish. Bàstard son of a thousand fathers.

Gbadugbakun:

The offender is also a minor. What is she going to do, jail a 16 year old girl?

If the offender was up to 20 she could have gone to the police. But they're both minors. A family meeting was calling and everyone agrees to let it go. She still de carry the matter for head.

Even here in the UK, 15 year olds are jailed after conviction of criminal offences and they don't call their custodial facility, prison but Young Offender Institution. Those who complete their imprisonment before they clock 20, are discharged to go home while those who have more years to complete are transferred to regular adult prisons.

Mindlog:

Even here in the UK, 15 year olds are jailed after conviction of criminal offences and they don't call their custodial facility, prison but Young Offender Institution. Those who complete their imprisonment before they clock 20, are discharged to go home while those who have more years to complete are transferred to regular adult prisons.

The incident happened in Nigeria which you and I know is lawless as compared to the UK.

The families tried to settle the matter by telling her to forget about it. Even her own husband told her to forget about it. She didn't. Now that she has been throw out of the house, has she gotten the justice she wanted?

What I expected her to do when the incident occurred was to take her daughter to the hospital first for medical examination. They would run her series of tests, then she would discuss the matter with her husband, her husband would go and face his own people.

This is Nigeria, and we know how things are done in Nigeria. No parent would admit that their 16 year old daughter is a lesbian. They'll try to defend her.

Gbadugbakun:

The incident happened in Nigeria which you and I know is lawless as compared to the UK.

The families tried to settle the matter by telling her to forget about it. Even her own husband told her to forget about it. She didn't. Now that she has been throw out of the house, has she gotten the justice she wanted?

What I expected her to do when the incident occurred was to take her daughter to the hospital first for medical examination. They would run her series of tests, then she would discuss the matter with her husband, her husband would go and face his own people.

This is Nigeria, and we know how things are done in Nigeria. No parent would admit that their 16 year old daughter is a lesbian. They'll try to defend her.

Please it's ok.

Mindlog:


It is in Nigeria that it is okay to let a child molestation slide and perpetrator go scot free.

Sexual molestation is not only evidenced by the physical.

OP, since you are out of that family physically, go ahead and take he child molestation case up with the relevant agency or ministry in the state where the molestation happened as that teenager who sexually molested your daughter needs to be picked up and taken out of circulation for some years and placed in a remand home for juvenile delinquents in order to protect other children from sexual molestation.

I'll do that. Take up the case I mean. Thanks

Gbadugbakun:

The incident happened in Nigeria which you and I know is lawless as compared to the UK.

The families tried to settle the matter by telling her to forget about it. Even her own husband told her to forget about it. She didn't. Now that she has been throw out of the house, has she gotten the justice she wanted?

What I expected her to do when the incident occurred was to take her daughter to the hospital first for medical examination. They would run her series of tests, then she would discuss the matter with her husband, her husband would go and face his own people.

This is Nigeria, and we know how things are done in Nigeria. No parent would admit that their 16 year old daughter is a lesbian. They'll try to defend her.

Nigeria has remand homes for juvenile delinquents for the likes of that teenage child molester.

Let the parents of the child molester try to defend their daughter but the law sees her liable for her action against that child.

Now that she has been thrown out of the house, she should get her bearings, stabilize and get justice for her daughter. Once statutory institutions in her state of residence and a grounded NGO gets involved in the case, her husband and his family will be ones begging her.

Even if the child wasn't taken to the hospital immediately after the incident, it is still not too late.......I can still easily nail that teenager within 2 hours of one to one session with that child she molested with the details of the molestation. I have done it severally.

That teenager needs rehabilitation and be taken away from her family as their continued enablement would eventually land her where "family meetings" will not rescue her. Go to some Nigerian prisons, you will find female prisoners who treaded her path when they were 16 and family were covering them up.

Gbadugbakun:

Your father and entire generation are rapists. Useless hypocrite. That's how you all come online to form holy then go offline to rape children.

I asked you a simple question, would you imprison a 16 year old child? You're here talking rubbish. Bàstard son of a thousand fathers.

Rapist, shut the flip up. It's your entire lineage that's rapists. No wonder you're hyperventilating on a thread sympathizing with a molester, apple didn't fall far from the tree. A 4-year old girl was molested and you're blaming the mother and sympathizing with the molester. Your type will sure rape his own daughters, oloshi rapist.

I no dey Naija, anybody who molests another for my country, no matter the age, will face the consequences. You thinking a 16year old can go scot-free of such crime shows you're a total idio0t. You don commit the crime as a teenager I bet, no wonder you are defending the molester. Gbadugbakun, the rapist, na ur type dey deserve jungle justice in Naija.

Kai
Dear op sorry for what you're passing through, I pray God grant you your heart desire.
Don't even mind your husband who was meant to protect his child, trust me you'll be fine.
My regards to your baby girl.

AWomanScorned:

I'll do that. Take up the case I mean. Thanks

You will be your daughter's lifelong hero knowing you fought for her, don't allow yourself to be bullied by your husband and his relatives, being away from that family is best for the overall mental wellbeing of yourself and your daughter.

Get plain sheets of paper (like the ones used for photocopying) and crayons, give them to your daughter to be regularly drawing whatever comes to her mind, leave her to do it alone. Keep filing those drawings in a file, it will be useful in the future.

Mindlog:


You will be your daughter's lifelong hero knowing you fought for her, don't allow yourself to be bullied by your husband and his relatives, being away from that family is best for the overall mental wellbeing of yourself and your daughter.

Get plain sheets of paper (like the ones used for photocopying) and crayons, give them to your daughter to be regularly drawing whatever comes to her mind, leave her to do it alone. Keep filing those drawings in a file, it will be useful in the future.

Ok

I'm having suicidal thoughts

.

Neptunium:
The way you're talking, you must be a rapist

AWomanScorned:
I'm having suicidal thoughts

For your daughter s sake...stay alive..