I want to be as brief as I can with this, so there would be enough contributions on what’s bothering me.
My Father in law wants me have my marriage ceremony in his compound but I prefer a hall or an event center.
The road to his compound is not very good which would deter a lot of people from coming to grace the occasion. It’s their right to choose the venue according to tradition but I just feel an event center would really have been more gracious than an open settings in his compound, I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

Honor the man one last time.

DarkCaesar:
I want to be as brief as I can with this, so there would be enough contributions on what’s bothering me.
My Father in law wants me have my marriage ceremony in his compound but I prefer a hall or an event center.
The road to his compound is not very good which would deter a lot of people from coming to grace the occasion. It’s their right to choose the venue according to tradition but I just feel an event center would really have been more gracious than an open settings in his compound, I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

Brother sincerely the man is right, even if his house is in a pit, anyone that want to honour your invitation will grace it there.

You might not understand now until it gets to your turn to give your daughter our in marriage

It is always a thing of honour for a daughters wedding to be done in the father's house.

Please kindly oblige the man and tell your guest about the venue.

What if the man decides not to give you him daughter again?

Don't start the marriage without listening to him.

This might cause u more troubles than good.

Play along if u can and be at peace with urself. In law politics is powerful and can dent ur marriage if u don't handle it with extreme care.

DarkCaesar:
I want to be as brief as I can with this, so there would be enough contributions on what’s bothering me.
My Father in law wants me have my marriage ceremony in his compound but I prefer a hall or an event center.
The road to his compound is not very good which would deter a lot of people from coming to grace the occasion. It’s their right to choose the venue according to tradition but I just feel an event center would really have been more gracious than an open settings in his compound, I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

Oga, Give your in law what he demands.The only thing you have absolute right to organise outside anywhere is the wedding reception.
It's only a foolish in-law that would allow his daughter's traditional wedding to be held outside his compound.
Mr man, it's not done anywhere,in any cultural setting anywhere in Nigeria.
Find a way to tackle the issue of bad road and distance.
Life is all about sacrifice and compromise.
Don't let your pride and ego cause problems between you and your in-laws.
No sensible in-laws anywhere will allow his daughter's traditional wedding be held outside the compound.Even the kinsmen won't agree.

U wan rent hall do trad??
Sorry a man is entitled to do his daughter's marital rites in his abode even if the abode is a small hut..


Forming woke cos you have money to rent hall..

Zukwanike

Since the man get money, tell him to tar the road to his house or you help him since you think that wouldn't allow the smooth flow of the ceremony

DarkCaesar:
I I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

U feel he's showing off?....it's he's daughters wedding ..he has some bragging rights on that day.....and thats not showing off...thats saving cost...a good hall now cant be less than 750k to 1M

Besides, are u not showing off too looking for hall when ur father inlaw has provided free space......??

Guy ....lock up..it's a one day event...allow ur inlaws have their daughters wedding where they want...

You have three options here:

Drop your ego and accept but on the condition that you will do a temporal repair on the road leading to his house or he do it.

Cancel the traditional marriage plans and go for only court marriage or church while you pay him all traditional rights in a mini occasion in his compound..

Agree to his plan of doing it in his compound and then do the reception in two places, main one in the town and the one for her father people in his house. Tell your top guest to only come for reception.


Lastly tread with caution as any which way it goes will set a precedent for future interactions. Remember the father is the head of the family politics, he can make or break a relationship.

You say he wants to show off his house that sounds like an insult.

You also say his house is far from your state, normally the husband's family travel to the brides place for the marriage if it's far. Are you just aware of the distance?


The brides family determine where they want to do their wedding where I come from as they are the one giving out their daughter.

Father's compound is always perfect, no matter how beautiful or otherwise it may be.

SUPERPACK:
You have three options here:

Drop your ego and accept but on the condition that you will do a temporal repair on the road leading to his house or he do it.

.

So, because he wants to marry a non virgin Nigerian girl, he should come and repair community road that the House Member representing that constituency failed to repair?

A one day event for that matter o.

It's too early to have beef with that man. Better adhere.

DarkCaesar:
I want to be as brief as I can with this, so there would be enough contributions on what’s bothering me.
My Father in law wants me have my marriage ceremony in his compound but I prefer a hall or an event center.
The road to his compound is not very good which would deter a lot of people from coming to grace the occasion. It’s their right to choose the venue according to tradition but I just feel an event center would really have been more gracious than an open settings in his compound, I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar!

Zonefree:

So, because he wants to marry a non virgin Nigerian girl, he should come and repair community road that the House Member representing that constituency failed to repair?

A one day event for that matter o.

I mentioned three options.

SUPERPACK:
I mentioned three options.

Your three options are invalid.

Keep the money for hall for the marriage later, cos for this matter you don't have a say

Are you sure you know the tradition? you want to carry the traditional marriage of the bride whose father is alive to an event center when the man has a compound and even a mansion to "show off"
Is it your show-off?
Is it your house?
Is the bride your daughter?

Sit it out pls. Your time is during a white or a court wedding

Allow him abeg.

This is going to be the last time he will a firm decision when it's comes to his daughter.

After that day, you might even decide that she shouldn't sleep there anymore.

You will dictate when she visit and not. So let her dad have his last shine biko.

Go and fix the road

Use the money you want to use to rent a hall and make the road motorable abit for the event. I have never heard where a traditional marriage is done in a hall. It is mostly done in the brides fathers house, in the compound if it's big or outside the house using canopy.

If it is your daughter that want to marry and your son in-law is saying the bullshit you're saying, will you give out your daughter? 🤔❓

Not matter how bad the road is to your inlaw's home, it would be travelled.

Respect the fact the traditional wedding ceremony would be held in the compound of the bride's father

no marry him daughter again naa... abi?

If I am the lady, I will call of the marriage. You are not worthy of her.
Very serious and important red flag.

The wedding is a day while the marriage should be a lifetime. Besides, your father in law still calls the shots until he gives away his daughter. So you need to chill and apply a little wisdom, Bro.
.. wish you a happy wedded life.

See as man dey hyperventilate about a 45-minute traditional wedding ceremony 😪😄😄😄 The only thing you need to complete your point right now is a wedding gown and a bridesmaid for yourself.

Everyday I'm hoping Tinubu will place a heavy tax on you all. N40 million on publicly held wedding ceremonies. For burials, N60 million.

DarkCaesar:
I want to be as brief as I can with this, so there would be enough contributions on what’s bothering me.
My Father in law wants me have my marriage ceremony in his compound but I prefer a hall or an event center.
The road to his compound is not very good which would deter a lot of people from coming to grace the occasion. It’s their right to choose the venue according to tradition but I just feel an event center would really have been more gracious than an open settings in his compound, I just felt like he’s trying to show off his new Mansion to the world as he’s a big man in his town and he told me that has been his tradition with his previous daughter. I’m really confused because this development would not allow a lot of the invitees to be there as it’s a bit far from my state and the road is really bad. What can I do about this?

Do you mean it would prevent people you've invited/your own people from attending? Hmm, that would be too bad, so I understand your concern. Idk what sorta tradition this is that the FIL is the one who would decide this decision of one of the most, if not the most important events in YOUR life. You should've discussed this with the lady before now. That said, if they said it's tradition and you're marrying into a family with traditions, if you want to marry their daughter, then you've no choice but to comply with the tradition.