How can I feel good about a child that constantly misbehaves and annoys me? He is a boy and will turn 4 in August this year. Have any experiences that will be of help?

Only serious minded contributions are needed please.

Thanks all.

@OP..try and see his best side...at the stage it is normal. But be firm by giving adequate guadiance wheb need arise.

Smack him, take his favourite toys away, no t.v, no ice cream, etc. Annoying kids are not cute! So irritating.

Quick question...is this child yours?

I think it is a matter of perspective.
Children (especially young ones) won't have fully developed their social skills, and may react in a different way than perhaps you would expect. Most young children won't understand how to behave properly (although you could argue that this is a fault on their parent's behalf) and often they won't understand that they can't always have what they want.
If you don't have the understanding and patience to realize this, then you will find them annoying and they will probably find you to be mean.

@MoUTD
Thank you.

@kelz88
I do take away his favourites at such times. Imagine when i tell him "No more bananas for you" and he replies with " I don't need them". How do i enforce discipline without being mean?

@oyinmama
Of course, he's my child.

@zitel
I'll try to be much more patient than i am. But I don't want a spoilt child. NO!

You didn't confirm the smacking. I take it you don't beat him. Try it.

I don't know what a 4 year old would do that will annoy you that much.

@kelz88
Oh, I smack him sometimes but talk most of the time and would not want him avoiding his mother.

@ronkebp
well,constant disobedience annoys. Doesn't it?

From an adult who is supposed to know right from wrong, yes!!! but a 4 year old I don't think it is that serious. You have to look for ways to discipline him, My son is 19 months old now, but he soo knows when i ask him '' if he wants to go upstairs'' immediately he sees me pointing to the staircase and sees frowns on my face, Oh my!!! he knows that maaamaa is so not in the mood, and he behaves himself. So you will have to figure out how to discipline him, Time-outs, no tv, small spanking (and i mean very small), he is still very young so there is little you can really do to really, really discipline him.

Pls don't touch that pretty little boy...that age is my favorite age for kids...wished mine someday will just start from 4 years....love em...pls don't treat him bad, he knows nothing, stubbornness is part of them at such age, so give him time and love...he needs love and ignore some of his bad sides, he will surely outgrow it...you don't judge his future character at 4yrs, NO! Tell him I love him over here...does he love robo-toys, wouldn't mind getting him one when i travel soon. sweet boy! smiling with joy.

Most 4 year olds are annoying. They are even more annoying when you are not consistent regarding discipline.

Also note that kids do not respond to smacking/spanking the same way, so it's not exactly a fool proof method of discipline. Surely, he has privileges which can be withdrawn when he is out of line and finally, don't forget to praise/encourage him when he behaves well.

Even adults do not like people who are critical of them all the time


Best wishes

Maybe na mami water give you the child?

@ op i feel you o! my son turned 4yrs in december and is giving me grey hairs!i'm really learning a lot here.i read a quote somewere not sure were "the only thing normal about children is that they don't act that way (normal) all the time!".
i pray he outgrows this naughtiness soon!

My daughter was so annoying when she was three, especially when she sees guests around until one day when I decended on her. She couldnt believe it.... Now she is the cutest nicest darling anyone can imagine at 4 and we are best of friends and she has come to understand that when mummy says stop, she means it.

We are in a virtual age and thesedays,, very young kids know what they are doing especially the very smart ones. some of them start this kind of misbehaviour as early as 2 and a half years, they just try to wind you up in their finger but you need to let them know who is in charge.

I don't have a four year old, but I saw my little brother at that stage, you see, you need tobe firm, not hard,don't abuse spanking cos thatll only lead to' after all, I'll only get spanked ' attitude, reserve that for when he goes over board, talk to him, coax and cajole him,pet him, but do not tolerate indiscipline, be firm, you're the parent, correct him with love nd patience, don't threaten to take away his favorite things, above all, takehim to God, with His help you'll start noticing positive changes in him, all the best, and God bless ur little one.
P.S, remember he's still a baby too, he is but 48 months!!!

@op, children tend to behave foolishly and the bible rightly stated that "foolishness is bound in the hrt of a child but the rod of correction will drive it far from him"prov 22:15. So some little smackin would do wonders. Just sayin! Their attitude towards everything might be very annoyin because its in their nature. You just need patience and consistency to cope wit your child. Bless of luck!

Kids culd be annoying at times I don't bilv spanking culd do much but u can spank him weeva he misbehaves but do it wit luv but the sure way to discipline a child is to diprive him 4rm those thng he luvs. If he is the tv type weneva his regular programme is on u shuld turn off the tv and don't 4get to xplain why. U didnt. Allow him. Dat kind thng dey pain. Promise. To turn it on weneva he behaves himself. Iluv kids. I regret not making the mistakes my friends made in hi skull now my 1st child wuld ave been in secondary skull

Dudugirl01: I don't have a four year old, but I saw my little brother at that stage, you see, you need tobe firm, not hard,don't abuse spanking cos thatll only lead to' after all, I'll only get spanked ' attitude, reserve that for when he goes over board, talk to him, coax and cajole him,pet him, but do not tolerate indiscipline, be firm, you're the parent, correct him with love nd patience, don't threaten to take away his favorite things, above all, takehim to God, with His help you'll start noticing positive changes in him, all the best, and God bless ur little one.
P.S, remember he's still a baby too, he is but 48 months!!!

48 months is a pretty whole lotta time.

thats enough time for other primate babies to reach maturity

besides, the boy. sure knows he is acting bad, after all neurogenesis and development is almost over and the brain operates optimally.

@OP, are you religious? take him to God.
are you a psychologist? hit him where it hurts, at his mental and emotional soft spots briefly enough, at least below the trauma threshold.
it sure works, it always does.
you could contact me if you need my expertise.

Is it possible that you started late? If you had indulged him long enough, certain behaviors have been reinforced and fixed and would take tact and time to reorient him. Boys will always be boys and so young parents must realize that and begin early to give direction. If you spend time singing "I will beat you, O" the child knows you wont do it so he is free to continue. Also if when you want to smack him he doesn't feel the pain, it's as good as given him more because they taste like chocolate to him, so how do you expect him to change. smacking should not be too frequent but when it comes let him be left in wonder"is it really my mum that did this?" when he tests his mettle on others outside and you "support" him by whatever means, never expect anything better. The list can go on and on. But actually, you are not specific in the kind of things that are "annoying" you, the environment or circumstances in which he is fond of his exhibitionism. Maybe, a personal call on a counselor might be helpful, but be sure it's one that identifies with your cultural atmosphere.

warn him a whole lot before taking action,just one day , wake him up in the middle of the nite and flog the phuck out of him , bathe him and put him back in bed...dont let him anticipate dat youre going to beat him..surprise him and dont beat him again, when he starts his rubbish again,just start warning him again and trust me he will back off..my dad is late and he only beat me once when i was 9 ...fridge wire on my naked body and i still remember it 16yrs after ...i still look over my shoulder when im about to do something stupid just in case his ghost pounces on me and do it again, dont mind this western crap about not beating a child , it works just dont over do it .

In my days, the cane was a very available option, and for serious misdemeanors, the "koboko" was there as reserve. (and I don't mean D'Banj's koboko please)

We have copied Western lifestyles to the point that it is now a huge problem. I was shocked when I saw a 10 year old girl, the niece of a friend of mine, fighting the mum (my friend's sister). Unbelievable!

Dont warn him at all, the best and last solution is pouring hot water on him while he is asleep.

Abi he wan drink small stout ?

I would want you to know that this is still formative years for your son and the best you can do is to build him rightly. You may necessarily not spank him but it is advisable you are very stern in handling him. He simply understands what you say and this is the best time to start guiding him in what is good and what is not. Like they say, the mind of a child is like a slate and you as the mother is the one to write what you want on it.

You are the problem here and not your child bicos you are expecting the wrong thing you would find in the right boy. For instance, kids about his age dont have good table manner and would not sit at the dinning table like an adult. Your child most certain would annoy if you expect the unexpected in him. My advise to you is visit baby center online and register your childs date of birth to get a weekly update of what to expect from him and how to react. cheers.

Children are like fish... You can only mold them when they are little.imagine what happens when you try straightening a bend dry fish, they break! try everything from frowning at them sometimes,change the tone of your voice from normal to serious and also smacking does magic. trust me children dey look face o !

^ Confirm child abuse

I think you are the problem and not the child. Have you considered that you want the child to behave like an adult even though he isn't?

What's with Nigerians and beating kids? If for example you take your child out and you expect him to catch up with you while walking and if he doesn't you beat him, have you considered that he or she is only a child and can't walk as fast as you can?

You didn't really give concrete details on what the child does that annoy you but I suspect you want the child to act like an adult. When a child is growing up you need to set rules that will help guide the child. When you allow the child to watch tv whenever on a school week then you have no right to decide no tv for you today. When you allow the child to go to bed whenever then don't get angry when the child struggles to wake up and get ready for school because the child is genuinely tired.

Have you really sat down and taken time to understand your child? Have you really talked to him or her without bullying him to do what you want?

Lastly I hope you get arrested for beating a child, nonsense!

kids are full of energy at that age and that makes them restless.they will bored easily so have different activities for him ranging from coloring to puzzles.He will be mentally engaged and you will have your peace

There are diff stages in bringing up a child. Just exercise patience, at teen age, u experience more. Infact, d overall being of adults is more of wat they did @ teen ages.