Will I Regret Not Having Children - Family (3)

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Will I Regret Not Having Children - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by lebienconnu: 1:34pm On Mar 28

Yes, you will.

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Vision101(m): 1:36pm On Mar 28

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Your choice, your life....why ask us?

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by kkins25(m): 1:36pm On Mar 28

Some people are quite fulfilled not bearing children. Same with people who do.

From an evolutionary perspective, it's self-defeating to acquire all those resources, and mental growth, and not pass those "good" genes down to children and society.

Although, society could benefit from the self-curtailing reproduction rate and the labour such women contribute to the growth of society. So, I guess, it's a win for society and women involved since they get to live a more fulfilling life(objectively and subjectively).

Some people choose not to have kids because they've wrongly imbibed the experiences of other people into their own lives. Even though bad things happen less frequently than good things, they fixate themselves on the bad things. It's like swearing not to take flights because you watch on television that a plane crashed.

The thing is, studies show that women/men who choose not to have children end up caring for "other" people. Many seem to get involved with childcare services or other forms of nurturing, such as supporting other women/men. Plus, they put more resources into such endeavours than even women who have children. Fascinating, isn't it?

The burden of responsibility isn't entirely lifted by not having children. It's the burden of being tied to a certain location with limited independence due to kids or dedication to a spouse, that single women/men seek to avoid. In order words, the freedom to do--when they choose and how they choose. Another win at the individual level.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kingbuhari(m): 1:37pm On Mar 28

You said it's your personal decisions why asking us if you are going to regret as if we follow you make the decision...

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by chloride6: 1:37pm On Mar 28

Very deep regret

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Originalsly: 1:39pm On Mar 28

At this point ... no intention of having a child... what's the big deal? Most people have a strong view of what they would never do... but do same later in life. My beef with this write up is OP does not care about public opinion... but wrote much about public opinion on his view.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by James235(m): 1:39pm On Mar 28

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by realist34: 1:39pm On Mar 28

yes, you will regret it

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Vision101(m): 1:40pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Please don't attempt to adopt because someone else was used to produce that. It will be hypocrisy.

2 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by PHIPEX(m): 1:40pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Will the man be OK with the decision too? Will you still consider the man to be "good" if he decides to seek for children or will your companionship feelings change?

2 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by truthhurts2: 1:41pm On Mar 28

If you're not of the public opinion then what brings you here?

Why seeking for advice (a.k.a people's opinions) when you don't live your life based on what people says?

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by PayEscrow: 1:41pm On Mar 28

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Here is your best answer. You think it's joke that even those who can't bear children seek for ways to adopt one.

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Time is the best teacher.

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Bennycollins: 1:42pm On Mar 28

thesicilian:
You'll likely regret the decision. Or maybe not. But it may not be the best feeling on earth to grow old and suddenly realize it's been a great mistake not to have kids.

That is your opinion and the OP said he doesn't live by what others think , say or believe. I even wonder why he is asking advice from same public. 😃😃

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Obierika(m): 1:43pm On Mar 28

Kobojunkie:
Yes, in some climes but Nigeria is not there yet.

...and Nigeria will never be there! angry

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by tochez24(m): 1:43pm On Mar 28

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Fact my brother💯

It will dawn on him at old age, he will see shege😆😆

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Jeezuzpick(m): 1:44pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

I own my home and I have a great wife, but I have two sons who are grown and verging on independence.

A day will come that they will leave the nest and go start their own lives, like I did many years ago, and I'll still be alone with my wife to hopefully enjoy a couple decades before old age issues.

The difference at that time between a couple with no kids and one with kids is that, once in a while, the kids will show up with their own kids and fill the parents' hearts with pride and joy.

A greater impact hits when one spouse leaves this earth. Then, it will.be the kids who will mean life itself to the surviving spouse.

A husband may be there now and give all the pleasures and assurances a woman needs, but he will be gone one day, and quite likely at an age when he cannot be replaced.

That's when the kids and grandkids come in.

I look at my octogenarian Mom, and I know this to be true.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by tochez24(m): 1:44pm On Mar 28

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Getting married and making babies is not compulsory but it's very very important⚠️

When you get old you will wish to have people you trust around you.... And there's no better people to have around than your kids, grand kids and your wife my brother 💯

Even with money, old age can be very lonely if you don't have a wife🙄

Like i said earlier, it's not about doing what the society wants or doing things because people are doing it.

It's about your self happiness and fulfillment, there's no better Joy a man can have than having a lovely woman with him😊😊

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by NLKing01: 1:44pm On Mar 28

my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion... And you are asking the public for their opinion. You are not serious

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by PayEscrow: 1:47pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

"a good man" will one day either grow old and die or while still young, turn to "a bad man" (men can be like that)... Home ownership, lol... A home that will later go out of fashion.

Fickle vanities.

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by komzy589(m): 1:48pm On Mar 28

Villa12:
There are many men and women that had kids but living a life as if they do not have kids, even at old age. Their children are poor, likewise their parents. They literally live from hand to mouth courtsey with the support of well-wishers. Society only address them with the name of their child/ren but there's no positive impact of these children in their lives. This abound in Nigeria today.

Now this is what is REAL.
No one has ever looked fulfilled at old age because they have plenty children.
If you need company, just have money.

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by CoronaVirusPro: 1:49pm On Mar 28

tochez24:

Getting married and making babies is not compulsory but it's very very important⚠️

When you get old you will wish to have people you trust around you.... And there's no better people to have around than your kids, grand kids and your wife my brother 💯

Even with money, old age can be very lonely if you don't have a wife🙄

Like i said earlier, it's not about doing what the society wants or doing things because people are doing it.

It's about your self happiness and fulfillment, there's no better Joy a man can have than having a lovely woman with him😊😊

I never said it’s mandatory. As a matter of fact, I detest having children irresponsibly .

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Rivermonster(m): 1:49pm On Mar 28

Stup*d question

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by sunsweet33: 1:49pm On Mar 28

Jut freeze your sperm in 2 or 3 international locations, you go dey alright

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by salem1996: 1:50pm On Mar 28

You brag too much yet in the same post you betrayed your words.
You have a different opinion from the public, yet, the public like asking questions about their decisions and you are doing same.

Asking the question mean you're already afraid of tomorrow's consequences over your decision. If you never really care, asking the question would have been far from you because whatever the consequences, you wouldn't have crared

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by RevenuesBoost(f): 1:50pm On Mar 28

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

If you won't feel sad living your old age with no (companion) son or daughter to call you or come visit you from time to time, then you can stick to your decision.

Everyone will bear the consequences of his or her own actions.

Live your life the way it pleases you.

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Oseone1: 1:51pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

More than biological children? meaning you adopted a kid

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by LordIsaac(m): 1:56pm On Mar 28

Kobojunkie:
Accept Jesus Christ so what will happen abeg?

For those who worship at the shrine of marriage and child bearing while operating under some delusion that the God of Israel and His Son, Jesus Christ, equally share in the same, kindly note the following statements made by Jesus Christ of those who will qualify as His followers.

A. God's special blessing/permission is given only to those who would choose to live as Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

B. Women who choose to live as Eunuchs — Childless— for the sake of the Kingdom of God are the ones who have God's blessings; women who have children are told to cry for themselves and their children's sake.

C. Your marriages are of this world of men and not of the Kingdom of God
For those completely without eyes, Jesus Christ made it clear that His followers are in this world but are NOT of the world.

Jesus Christ called for those who are single and even the barren, not for those who wish to have children. So keep God's mention off these things.

John 3:16. You have been told!

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by YelloweWest: 1:57pm On Mar 28

You will totally regret it. There's absolutely nothing as rewarding than having a child.

At some point your wealth will become meaningless.

3 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by tonicyril: 1:58pm On Mar 28

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Say another tin I will believe, but u see this...na lie,

Na so my course mate go marry person wey don spoil her womb, after some years na hin dem discover, now dem don pursue her troway grin

Tomorrow like this, she sef go dey talk say na her decision not to make babies grin

4 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Bode3: 1:59pm On Mar 28

Very funny though.

One of the finest professor of architecture in Nigeria gave me this advice, I quote "everyone will regret in life but ensure you make your regrets smaller than others"

You might even be the one to now regret more especially when the devil is planning to deal with you in old age.

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kayouzka(m): 2:00pm On Mar 28

Acidosis:

This justification is somewhat weak. It won't take you too far before you "fold."

Another weak reason. The responsibility of child raising does not rest solely on the man. Even if you choose to be with a full-time housewife, it is still cheaper to train a child (financially) than marry a wife. Certainly more expensive to be with a girlfriend. So what are you afraid of, really?

You can't completely dissociate yourself from a norm so long as you remain a social being. There are many things you may not want to do to impress anyone, like dancing on tiktok, hosting a big wedding, etc. Others like attending a school, getting a job, or having kids are not necessarily meant to appease the public.

There are many justifiable reasons why a man may not want a biological child, though. But your reason has to be strong enough to avoid regrets.

The decision to have kids is selfish, think about all the bad things that can happen to your child, look at how the world is going and you still think it right to bring a child to a world like this, it not as if thes unborns are asking to be born.

4 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Ahigbo1: 2:01pm On Mar 28

If you really don't give a bleep about public opinions, you wouldn't be here asking.
Well, you're an adult, take your decisions and assume responsibility for them.

2 Likes

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